Petronius (1925, Michael Heseltine)

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Satyricon by Gaius Petronius in a 1925 edition.

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Full text[1]

Presented to the

LIBRARIES of the

UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO

MARGARET PHILLIPS

THE LOEB CLASSICAL LIBRARY

EDITED BY

E. CAPPS, PH.D.. LL.D. T. E. PAGE, LTTT.D.

W . H. D. ROUSE, UTT.D.

PETRONIUS

SENECA

APOCOLOCYNTOSI8

Pint Printed 1913 B.tprinttd 1016, 1922, 192S

PETROIN^IUS

WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY

MICHAEL HESELTINE

SENECA

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY

VV. H. D. ROUSE, M.A. LITT. D.

LONDON : WILLIAM HEINEMANN LTD. NEW YORK: G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS

MCMXXV

Printed in Great Britain by Woods and Sons, Ltd., London N. i

CONTENTS

PBtronius

Introduction

Page vii

Satyricon

Fragments

325

Poems

339

SrNECA

■--

<^IK>colocyntosi«

8Sfi

INTRODUCTION

The author of the Satyricon is identified by the large majority of scholars with Gaius Petronius/ the cour- tier of Nero. There is a long tradition in support of the identification, and the probability that it is cor- rect appears especially strong in the light of Tacitus's account of the character and death of Gaius Petronius in the eighteenth and nineteenth chapters of the six- teenth book of the Annals. Mr. John Jackson has translated the passage as follows :

Petronius deserves a word in retrospect. He was a man who passed his days in sleep, his nights in the ordinary duties and recreations of life : others had achieved greatness by the sweat of their brows — Petronius idled into fame. Unlike most who walk the road to ruin, he was never regarded as either debauchee or wastrel, but rather as the finished artist in extravagance. In both word and action, he dis- played a freedom and a sort of self-abandonment which were welcomed as the indiscretions of an un- sophisticated nature. Yet, in his proconsulship of Bithynia, and later as consul elect, he showed himself an energetic and capable administrator. Then came the revulsion : his genuine or affected vices won him admittance into the narrow circle of Nero's intimates, and he became the Arbiter of Elegance, whose sanc- tion alone divested pleasure of vulgarity and luxury of grossness.

' He is called Titus Petronius by Plutarch (De Adulatore et Amico, 27).

iNTRODUCTION

" His success aroused the jealousy of Tigellinus against a possible rival — a professor of voluptuousness better equipped than himself. Playing on the emperor's lust for cruelty, to which all other lusts were secon- dary, he suborned a slave to turn informer, charged Petronius with his friendship for Scaevinus, deprived him of the opportunity of defence, and threw most of his household into prison.

At that time, it happened, the court had migrated to Campania ; and Petronius had reached Cumae, when his detention was ordered. He disdained to await the lingering issue of hopes and fears : still, he would not take a brusque farewell of life. An incision was made in his veins : they were bound up under his directions, and opened again, while he conversed with his friends — not on the gravest of themes, nor in the key of the dying hero. He listened to no dis- quisitions on the immortality of the soul or the dogmas of philosophy, but to frivolous song and playful verses. Some of his slaves tasted of his bounty, others of the whip. He sat down to dinner, and then drowsed a little; so that death, if compulsory, should at least be natural. Even in his will, he broke through the routine of suicide, and flattered neither Nero nor Tigellinus nor any other of the mighty : instead, he described the emperor's enormities ; added a list of his catamites, his women, and his innovations in las- civiousness ; then sealed the document, sent it to Nero, and broke his signet-ring to prevent it from being used to endanger others."

The reflection arises at once that, given the Satyri- con, this kind of book postulates this kind of author. The loose tongue, the levity, and the love of style are common to both. If books betray their writers

INTRODUCTION

characteristics, Gaius Petronius, as seen by Tacitus, had the imagination and experience needed to depict the adventures of Encolpius.

There is a Uttle evidence, still based on the primary assumption, more exact in its bearing. The Satyricon contains a detailed criticism of and a poem directed against the style of a -s^Titer who must be Lucan. Gaius Petronius was not the man to pass over the poet, epigrammatist, and courtier, in whose epoch and circle he himself shone. He may have deplored Lucan's poetic influence, but he could not neglect it, for Lucan was essentially the singer of his own day. No age was so favourable as that of Nero for the introduction into a supremely scandalous tale of a reasoned and appreci- ative review of the Pharsalia, the outstanding poem of the time.

The criticism of the schools of rhetoric in their effect upon education and language, and the general style of the book in reflective and descriptive passages, point more vaguely to a similar date of composition.

Gaius Petronius found in his work a form which allowed complete expression to the many sides of his active and uncontrolled intellect. Its loose construc- tion is matched by its indifference to any but stylistic reforms ; it draws no moral ; it is solely and properly occupied in presenting an aspect of things seen by a loiterer at one particular comer of the world. What we possess of it is a fragment, or rather a series of excerpts from the fifteenth and sixteenth books, we know not how representative of the original whole.

INTRODUCTION

Of this the best-known portion, the description of Trimalchio's dinner, was hidden from the modern world until the middle of the seventeenth century, and was first printed in 1 664:.

It is as difficult to grasp any structural outline in the Satyricon as it is in Tristram Shandy. Both alter- nate with flashing rapidity between exhibitions of pedantry, attacks on pedants, and indecency, in which Sterne is the more successful because he is the less obvious.

But Petronius, so far as his plan was not entirely original, was following as model Varro's Menippean satires, and had before him the libel of Seneca on Claudius, the Apocoloq/ntosis. The traditional title of his work, Satyricon, is derived from the word Satura, a medley, and means that he was free to pass at will from subject to subject, and from prose to verse and back : it is his achievement that the threads of his story, broken as we hold them, yet show something of the colour and variety of life itself. We call his book a novel, and so pay him a compliment which he alone of Roman writers has earned.

Petronius' s novel shares with life the quality of moving ceaselessly without knowing why. It differs from most existences in being very seldom dull. An anonymous writer of the eighteenth cen- tury, making Observations on the Greek and Roman Classics in a Series of Letters to a Young Nobleman, is of the opinion that: "You will in no Writer, my dear Lord, meet with so much true delicacy of thought, in none with purer language." This judgment is

^ See section on the text, codex Traguriensis. 2 Published in London, 1753.

INTRODUCTION

meant for the age of Smollett and Fielding ; but there is no question of the justice of the later remark: " You will be charmed with the ease, and you will be surprised with the variety of his characters."

These characters are one and all the product of a period in history when the primary aim of the ripest civilization in the world was money-making. It was this aim which drew Trimalchio from his un- known birthplace in Asia Minor to the glitter and luxury and unnatural passion of a South Italian town. He differs from the minor personages who crowd his dining-room only in the enormous success -svith which he has pUed the arts of prostitution, seduction, flattery and fraud. The persons in whom the action of the novel centres, Encolpius,the mouthpiece of the author, Ascyltos, and Giton, are there by the kindness of Agamemnon, a parasite teacher of the rhetoric which ate swiftly into the heart of Latin language and thought. Giton Hves by his charms, Ascyltos is hardly more than a foil to Encolpius, a quarrelsome and lecherous butt.

That part of the novel which deals with Trimal- chio' s dinner introduces a crowd of characters, and gives the most vivid picture extant in classical litera- ture of the hfe of the small town. The pulsating energy of greed is felt in it everj-svhere. Men become millionaires with American rapiditj', and enjoy that condition as hazardously in Cumae as in Wall Street. The shoulders of one who wallows in Trimalchio's cushions are still sore with carrying firewood for sale ; another, perhaps the first undertaker who made a fortune out of extravagant funerals, a gourmet and spendthrift, sits there composing lies to baffle his hungry creditors. Trimalchio towers above them by

INTRODUCTION

reason of his more stable fortunes and his colossal impudence. He can afford to delegate the conduct of his business, to grow a little negligent, even- — for his accounts are six months in arrear — to care for the life of the spirit.

He believes, of course, in astrology; he sings excerpts out of tune from the last musical play, and takes phrases from the lips of the comic star whom Nero delights to honour. He has two^ libraries, one of Greek, one of Latin books, and mythology courses through his brain in incorrigible confusion.

His fellow townsmen and guests, whom he insults, do not aspire to these heights. Dama, Seleucus, and Phileros are rich merely in the common coin of every- day talk, in the proverbial wisdom which seems to gather strength and brightness from being constantly exchanged. ' A hot drink is as good as an over- coat" — "Flies have their virtues, we are nothing but bubbles " — An old love pinches like a crab " — It is easy when everything goes fair and square." In these phrases and their like Latin literature speaks to us for once in the tones we know in England through Justice Shallow or Joseph Poorgrass. Nearly all warm themselves with this fatuous talk of riches and drink and deaths, but one man, GanjTnede, a shrewd Asiatic immigrant like Trimalchio himself, blows cold on their sentimentality with his searching talk of bread-prices in Cumae, rising pitilessly through drought and the operation of a ring of bakers in league with officials. He tells us in brilliant phrases of the starving poor, of the decay of religion, of lost pride in using good flour. Then Echion, an old-

'The MS says three, and may be right; he is drunk when he boasts of them.

INTRODUCTION

clothes dealer, overwhelms him with a flood of subur- ban chatter about games, and children, and chickens, and the material blessings of education. But Gany- mede is the sole character in Petronius's novel who brings to hght the reverse side of Trimalchio's splen- dour. A system of local government which showers honours upon vulgarity, and allows Trimalchio his bath, his improved sanitation, his host of servants, his house with so many doors that no guest may go in and out by the same one, is invariably true to type in leaving poor men to die in the streets. The very existence of poverty becomes dim for Trimalchio, half unreal, so that he can jest at Agamemnon for taking as the theme of a set speech the eternal quarrel of rich and poor.

Between rich and poor in Cumae the one link is commerce in vice. Trimalchio finds Fortunata the chorus-girl standing for sale in the open market, and calls her up to be the partner of his sterile and un- meaning prodigality. She has learnt all the painful lessons of the slums; she will not grace Trimalchio's table until dinner is over, and she has seen the plate safely collected from his guests, and the broken meats apportioned to his slaves ; she knows the sting ot jealousy, and the solace of intoxication or tears ; nor- mally she rules him, as Petruchio ruled Katharine, with loud assertion and tempest of words. The only other woman present at the dinner. Scintilla, the wife of Trimalchio's friend Habinnas, a monumental mason, is more drunken and unseemly, and leaves behind her a less sharp taste of character.

Trimalchio's dinner breaks up with a false alarm of fire, and the infamous heroes of the story give Aga- memnon the slip. Trimalchio vanishes, and with his loss

xiii

INTRODUCTION

the story becomes fragmentary once more, and declines in interest almost as much as in decency. Its attraction lies in the verse and criticism put into the mouth of Eumolpus, a debased poet whom Encolpius meets in a picture gallery. With him the adventures of the trio continue. There is a lodging-house brawl, a voyage where they find themselves in the hands of old enemies, the ship's captain Lichas, whose wife Hedyle they appear to have led astray, and Try- phaena, a peripatetic courtesan who takes the Medi- terranean coast for her province, and has some unex- plained claim on Giton's affections. They settle these disputes only to be involved in a shipwreck and c^st ashore at Croton, where they grow fat on their pre- tension to be men of fortune, and disappear from sight, Encolpius after a disgraceful series of vain encounters with a woman named Circe, and Eumolpus after a scene where he bequeaths his body to be eaten by his heirs.

Coherence almost fails long before the end: the episode in which Encolpius kills a goose, the sacred bird of Priapus, gives a hint, but no more, that the wrath of Priapus was the thread on which the whole Satyricon was strung. But the life of the later portions of the novel lies in the critical and poetical fragments scattered through it. These show Petronius at his best as a lord of language, a great critic, an intelligent enthusiast for the traditions of classical poetry and oratory. The love of style which was stronger in him even than his interest in manners doubly enriches his work. It brings ready to his pen the proverbs with their misleading hints of modernity,^ the debased syntax and abuse of gender, which fell from common ^ See especially c. 41 to 46, 57 to 59.

INTRODUCTION

lips daily, but is reproduced here alone in its fullness ;* and side by side with these mirrored vulgarisms the gravity of the attack on professional rhetoric with which the novel begins, and the weight of the teacher's defence, that the parent >vill have education set to a tune of his own calling ; Eumolpus's brilhant exposition of the supremacy of the poet's task over that of the rhetorician or historian ; the curious, violent, epic fragment by which he upholds his doctrine.

Petronius employed a pause in literarj' invention and production in assimilating and expressing a view upon the makers" of poems, prose, pictures, philoso- phies, and statues, who preceded him, and thereby deepened his interpretation of contemporary hfe. His cynicism, his continual backward look at the splen- dours and severities of earlier art and other morals, are the inevitable outcome of this self-education.

By far the most genuine and pathetic expressions >f his weariness are the poems which one is glad to be able to attribute to him. The best of them speak of quiet country and seaside, of love deeper than desire and founded on the durable grace of mind as well as the loveliness of the flesh, of simplicity and escape from Court. ^

' See e.g. the notes of Buecheler or Friedlaender on the verbs apoculamus (c. 62), duxissem (c 57), plovebat (c. 44), percolo- pabant (c. 44), the nouns agaga (c. 69), babaecalis (c. 37), bacalusias (c. 41), barcalae (c. 67), burdubasta (c. 45), gingi- lipho (c. 73), and such expressions as caelus hie (c. 39), malus Fatus (c. 42), olim olionim (c. 43), nummorum nummos (c. 37), and the Graecisms safilutus and topanta (c. 37).

^e.g-. c. I to 5, 55,83,88, n8.

^Seee.g. Poems 2, 8, 11, 13-15, and 22; of the love-poems, 25 and 26, but above all 16 and 27, which show (if they can be by him) a side of Petronius entirely hidden in the Satyricon.

INTRODUCTION

He knew the antidote to the fevered life which burnt him up. His book is befouled with obscenity, and, like obscenity itself, is ceasing by degrees to be part of a gentleman's education. But he will alwa3's be read as a critic ; he tells admirable stories of were- wolves and faithless widows;^ he is one of the very few novelists who can distil common talk to their pur- pose without destroying its flavour. The translator dulls his brilliance, and must leave whole pages in the decent obscurity of Latin : he is fortunate if he adds a few to those who know something of Petronius beyond his name and the worst of his reputation.

The thanks of the editors and the translator are due to Messrs. Weidmann of Berlin, who have gene- rously placed at their disposal a copj'right text of the Satyricon, the epoch-making work of the late Pro- fessor Buecheler.

Mr. H. E. Butler, Professor of Latin in the Uni- versity of London, is responsible for the selection of critical notes from Buecheler's editio maior, the Intro- duction to and text of the poems, and the Biblio- graphy: the translator is indebted to him and to the editors for invaluable assistance in attempting to meet the difficulties which a rendering of Petronius con- tinues to present.

Michael Heseltine.

'In c.6i through Niceros, in c. 62, through Tiimalchio, and in cm through Eumolpus (the famous and cosmopolitan tale of the Widow of Ephesus).

THE TEXT OF PETRONIUS

TTie sources for the text of Petronius fall into three groups.

(1) The codex Leidensis (Qol) written by Scaliger and the editions of the de Toumes (Tornaesius) 1575 and Pithou (Pithoeus) 1577. These are our authorities for the fuller collection of excerpts. This source is known as L.

(2) A number of MSS. of which codex Bemensis (357) of the 10th century is typical. This group is our authority for the abridged collection of excerpts and is known collectively as O.

(3) The codex Traguriensis (Paris 7989) of the 1 5th century, which, save for a very few brief excerpts in L and O, is our sole authority for the cena Trimalchi- onis. This MS. was discovered in 1650 at Trau in Dalmatia. It is known as H.

The text was not put on a scientific basis tUl the appearance of Buecheler's Editio maior in 1 862.

In the Apparatus Criticus the source of the most important corrections is stated, and followed by the reading given by Buecheler in his editio minor as the probable reading of the archetype or as the oldest reading available. The sources from which the differ- ent portions of the text are derived are indicated by the letters in the margin of the text.

THE TEXT OF PETRONIUS

SIGLA

L = codex Scaligeranus, and editions of Tornaesius and Pithoeus.

O = MSS. containing abridged excerpts of which cod. Bernensis may be regai'ded as typical.

H = codex Traguriensis, our sole source for the Cena Trimahhionis.

Note. A great number of minor corrections and alternative readings are, owing to the demands of space, omitted from the critical notes.

xviii

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Most important Editions : I. Previous to Discovery

OF Cena Trimalchionis.

14.82 Editio Princeps.

Scriptores Panegyrici Latini, containing (l) Pliny the younger's Panegyricus. (s) Ten other panegyrics by various authors on diverse emperors, (s) The Agricola of Tacitus. (4) Petronii arhitri satyrict fraginenta : quae extant. Printed by Antonius Zarotus at MUan; the date is approximate.

1 560 The edition of Johannes Sambucus, who made use of an old MS. of his owti, and added a certain amount not previously printed. Ant- werp (Chr. Plantin).

1375 The edition of Jean de Tournes (Tomaesius) based (among other sources) on codex Cuiaci- anus, afterwards used by Scaliger. Lyons (j. Tomaesius).

1577 The edition of P. Pithou (Pithoeus) based on three MSS. now lost. Paris (M. Patissonius).

1583 The edition of Ian. Dousa with notes. Leyden (lo. Paetsius).

1610 The edition of Melchior Goldastus with notes. Frankfort (lo. Bringerfor I.Th. Schoen wetter).

II. Subsequent to Discovery of Cena Trimalchionis.

i. Editions of Cena. 1664 Petronii Fragmentum Traguriense. Padua (P.

Frambotti). 1664 ANEKAOTON ex Petronii Satirico, with intro- duction and notes by Jo. Caius Telebomenus (Jacobus Mentehus). Paris (E. Martin).

zix

BIBLIOGRAPHY

1 665 Petronii Fragmentum with notes by lo. SchefFer.

Upsala (Henr. Curio).

1666 Petronii Fragmentum ed. Th. Reinesius. Leipzig

(Chr. Michael for Sigism. Coerner).

ii. Complete Editions. 1669 The edition of M. Hadrianides. Amsterdam

(J. Blaeu). 1709 The edition of P. Burmann with copious notes.

Utrecht (Guil. van de Water). This is the

last complete commentary. I862 The editio maior of F. Buecheler. Berlin

(Weidmann). I862 The editio minor of the same: 4th edition on

which this text is based 1 904 : 5th edition

revised by W. Heraeus 191 !•

iii. Modern Editions of Cena.

1 89 1 Cena Trimalchionis with German notes and trans- lations by L. Friedlaender. Leipzig (Hirzel). Second edition 1906.

1902 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes by W. E. Waters. Boston (B. H. Sanborn).

1905 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes and trans- lation by W. D. Lowe. Cambridge (Deighton Bell).

1905 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes and trans- lation by M. J. Ryan. London (Walter Scott Publishing Co.).

iv. The Be Hum Civile. 1911 The Bellum Civile of Petronius, with English notes and translation by Florence T. Baldwin. New York (Columbia University Press).

BIBLIOGRAPHY

ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS

169^ The Satjr of Petronius by Mr. Burnaby. Lon- don (S. Briscoe).

1736 The Works of Petronius by Mr. Addison. Lon- don (j. Watts).

1854 and 1880 Petronius by W. K. Kelly. London (Bohn and G. Bell & Sons).

1898 Trimalchio's Dinner. H. T. Peck. New York (Dodd, Mead and Co.).

The Poems attributed to Petronius. Poetae Latini Minores, vol. 4. Baehrens

(Teubner Series). Editio minor of Buecheler.

The MSS. of Petronius. 1863 The MSS. of the Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter described and collated by Charles Beck, Cambridge MSS. (Riverside Press). Editio maior of Buecheler.

Criticisms and Appreciations of Petronius.

1856 The Age of Petronius by Charles Beck. Cam- bridge, Mass. (Metcalf).

1875 L'Opposition sous les Cesars by Gaston Boissier (Un Roman de moeurs sous Neron). Paris (Hachette).

1892 Etude sur Petrone by A. Collignon. Paris (Hachette).

1898 Studies in Frankness by C. Whibley (p. 27). London (Heinemann).

BIBLIOGRAPHY

1902 P^trone by E. Thomas. Paris (Fontemoing).

1903 Roman Society from Nero to M. Aurelius by

S. Dill (pp. 120-137). London (Macmillan). 1905 Life and Principate of the Emperor Nero by B. Henderson (pp. 291-4). London (Me- thuen).

1909 Post- Augustan Poetry by H. E. Butler (p. 125).

Oxford (Clarendon Press).

Bibliography.

1910 The Bibliography of Petronius by S. Gaselee

London (East and Blades).^

Forged Fragments.

In 1 692, fragments, forged by a Frenchman named Nodot, were printed in the edition published by Leers, at Rotterdam.

In 1 800 another forgery appeared. The author was a Spaniard named Joseph Marchena. Fragmentum Petronii ex bibl. Sti. Gall, gallice vertit ac notis perpetuia illustravit Lallemandus, S. Tkeologiae Doctor, 1800.

»The present bibliography is based entirelyon this erudite bibliographical work.

TITUS PETRONJUS ARBITER

TITI PETRONI ARBITRI SATYRICON

1 LO Num alio genere furiarum declamatores inquietan- tur, qui clamant: haec vulnera pro libertate publica excepi ; hunc oculum pro vobis impendi : date mihi du- cem, qui me ducat ad liberos meos, nam succisi poplites membra non sustinent ' ? Haec ipsa tolerabilia essent, si ad eloquentiam ituris viam facerent. Nunc et rerum tumore et sententiarum vanissimo strepitu hoc tantum proficiunt, ut cum in forum venerint, putent se in alium orbem terrarum delatos. Et ideo ego adulescentulos existimo in scholis stultissimos fieri, quia nihil ex his, quae in usu habemus, aut audiunt aut vident, sed pira- tas cum catenis in litore stantes, sed tyrannos edictascri- bentes, quibus imperent filiis ut patrum suorum capita praecidant, sed responsa in pestilentiam data, ut vir- gines tres aut plures immolentur, sed mellitos verbo- rum globulos et omnia dicta factaque quasi papavere et sesamo sparsa. Qui inter haec nutriuntur, non magis 2 sapere possunt, quam bene olere, qui in culina habi- tant. Pace vestra liceat dixisse, primi omnium elo- quentiam perdidistis. Levibus enim atque inanibus sonis ludibria quaedam excitando effecistis, ut corpus orationis enervaretur et caderet. Nondum iuvenes declamationibus continebantur, cum Sophocles aut Euripides invenerunt verba quibus deberent loqui. Nondum umbraticus doctor ingenia deleverat, cum Pindarus novemque lyrici Homericis versibus canere 2

THE SATYRICON OF TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Are our rhetoricians tormented by a new tribe of 1 Furies when they cry : These scars I earned in the struggle for popular rights ; I sacrificed this eye for you : where is a guiding hand to lead me to my children ? My knees are hamstrung, and cannot support my body ' ? Though indeed even these speeches might be endured if they smoothed the path of aspirants to oratory. But as it is, the sole result of this bombastic matter and these loud empty phrases is that a pupil who steps into a court thinks that he has been carried into another world. I believe that college makes complete fools of our young men, because they see and hear nothing of ordinary life there. It is pirates standing in chains on the beach, tyrants pen in hand ordering sons to cut off their fathers' heads, oracles in time of pestilence demanding the blood of three virgins or more, honey-balls of phrases, every word and act besprinkled with poppy-seed and sesame. 2 People who are fed on this diet can no more be sensible than people who live in the kitchen can be savoury. With your permission I must tell you the truth, that you teachers more than anyone have been the ruin of true eloquence. Your tripping, empty tones stimulate certain absurd eflFects into being, with the result that the sub- stance of your speech languishes and dies. In the age when Sophocles or Euripides found the inevitable word for their verse, young men were not yet being confined to set speeches. When Pindar and the nine lyric poets were too modest to use Hom.er's lines, no cloistered b2 3

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

timuerunt. Et ne poetas [quidem] ad testimonium citem, certe neque Platona neque Demosthenen ad hoc genus exercitationis accessisse video. Grandis et ut ita dicam pudica oratio non est maculosa nee tur- gida, sed naturali pulchritudine exsurgit. Nuper ven- tosa istaec et enormis loquacitas Athenas ex Asia commigravit animosque iuvenum ad magna surgentes veluti pestilerti quodam sidere afflavit, semelque corrupta regula eloquentia^ stetit et obmutuit. Ad summam, quis postea^ Thucydidis, quis Hyperidis ad famam processit? Ac ne carmen quidem sani coloris enituit, sed omnia quasi eodem cibo pasta non potu- erunt usque ad senectutem canescere. Pictura quoque non alium exitum fecit^ postquam Aegyptiorum audaci» tam magnae artis compendiariam invenit."

Non est passus Agamemnon me diutius declamare in porticu^ quam ipse in schola sudaverat, sed Adule- scens" inquit quoniam sermonem habes non publici saporis et, quod rarissimum est, amas bonam mentem, non fraudabo te arte secreta. Nihil^ nimirum in his ex- ercitationibus doctores peccant, qui necesse habent cum insanientibus furere. Nam nisi dixerint quae adulescen- tuli probent, ut ait Cicero, soli in scholis relinquentur.' Sicut [fictij* adulatores cum cenas divitum captant, nihil prius meditantur quam id quod putant gratissi-

' regula eloquent ia Haasius : eloquentiae regfula. 'ad summam quis postea Haasius: qui postea ad sum- mam.

nihil added by Buecheler. * ficti bracketed by Bue€heler.

SATYRICON

pedant had yet ruined young men's brains. I need not go to the poets for evidence. I certainly do not find that Plato or Demosthenes took any course of training of this kind. Great style, which jf I may say so, is also modest style, is never blotchy ^d bloated. It rises supreme by \irtue of its natural beauty. Your flatulent and formless flow of words is a modem im- migrant from Asia to Athens. Its breath fell upon the mind of ambitious youth like the influence of a baleful planet, and when the old tradition was once broken, eloquence halted and grew dumb. In a word, who after this came to equal the splendour of Thucy- dides or Hyperides? Even poetry did not glow with the colour of health, but the whole of art, nourished on one universal diet, lacked the vigour to reach the grey hairs of old age. The decadence in painting was the same, as soon as Egyptian charlatans had found a short cut to this high calling."

Agamemnon^ would not allow me to stand declaim- ing out in the colonnade longer than he had spent sweating inside the school. Your talk has an uncommon flavour, young man,' ' he said, and what is most unusual, you appreciate good sense. I will not therefore deceive you by making a mysterj' of my art. The fact is that the teachers are not to blame for these exhibitions. They are in a madhouse, and they must gibber. Unless they speak to the taste of their young masters they will be left alone in the colleges, as Cicero remarks.* Like the toadies [of Comedy] cadging after the rich man's dinners, they think first about what is calculated

' A teacher of rhetoric. Encolpius and Ascyltus were invited to Trinialchio's dinner as Ag^amemnon's pupils.

See Pro Caflio, 17, 41.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

mum auditoribus fore : nee enim aliter impetrabunt

quod petunt,nisi quasdam insidias auribus fecerint: sic

eloquentiae magister, nisi tanquam piscator earn impo-

suerit hamlf eseam, quam scierit appetituros esse pisci-

culos, sine spe praedae morabitur in scopulo. Quid ergo

est? Parentesobiurgationedigni sunt, qui noluntliberos

suos severa lege proficere. Primum enim sic ut omnia,

spes quoque suas ambitioni donant. Deinde cum ad

vota properant, cruda adhuc studia in forum pellunt

et eloquentiam, qua nihil esse maius confitentur,

pueris induunt adhuc nascentibus. Quod si paterentur

laborum gradus fieri, ut studiosi iuvenes lectione

severa irrigarentur, ut sapientiae praeceptis animos

componerent, ut verba atroci stilo effoderent, ut quod

vellent imitari diu audirent, ut persuaderent^ sibi nihil

esse magnificum, quod pueris placeret : iam ilia grandis

oratio haberet maiestatis suae pondus. Nunc pueri in

scholis ludunt, iuvenes ridentur in foro, et quod utro-

que turpius est, quod quisque perperam didicit, in

senectute confiteri non vult. Sed ne me putes impro-

basse schedium Lucilianae humilitatis, quod sentio, et

ipse carmine effingam:

Artis severae si quis ambit' effectus

mentemque magnis applicat, prius mores

frugalitatis lege poliat exacta.

Nee curet alto regiam trucem vultu

cliensve cenas impotentium captet,

nee perditis addictus obruat vino

' ut persuaderent added by Buetheler. ' ambit margin ed. of Tornaesius : amat.

SATY EICON

to please their audience. They will never gain their object unless they lay traps for the ear. A master of oratory is like a fisherman ; he must put the particu- lar bait on his hook which he knows will tempt the little fish, or he may sit waiting on his rock with no hope of a catch. Then what is to be done ? It is the parents who should be attacked for refusing to allow their children to profit by stern discipline. To begin with they consecrate even their j'oung hopefuls, like every- thing else, to ambition. Then if they are in a hurry for the fulfilment of their vows, they drive the unripe schoolboy into the law courts, and thrust eloquence, the noblest of callings, upon children who are still struggling into the world. If they would allow work to go on step by step, so that bookish boys were steeped in diligent reading, their minds formed by wise sayings, their pens relentless in tracking down the right word, their ears giving a long hearing to pieces they wished to imitate, and if they would con- vince themselves that what took a boy's fancy was never fine ; then the grand old style of oratory would have its full force and splendour. As it is, the boy wastes his time at school, and the young man is a laughing-stock in the courts. Worse than that, they will not admit when they are old the errors thej' have once imbibed at school. But pray do not think that I impugn Lucilius's rhyme* about modesty. I will myself put my own views in a poem: If any man seeks for success in stern art and applies his mind to great tasks, let him first perfect his cha- racter by the rigid law of frugality. Nor must he care for the lofty frown of the tyrant's palace, or scheme for suppers with prodigals like a client, or drown the fires of his wit with wine in the company ' The allusion is not known.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

mentis calorem, neve plausor in scaenam^ sedeat redemptus histrionis ad rictus.^ Sed sive armigerae rident Tritonidis arces, seu Lacedaemonio tellus habitata colono Sirenumve domus, det primos versibus annos Maeoniumque bibat felici pectore fontem. Mox et Socratico planus grege mittat habenas liber et ingentis quatiat Demosthenis arma. Hinc Romana manus circumftuat et modo Graio exonerata sono mutet suffusa saporem. Interdum subdueta foro det pagina cursum et furtiva^ sonet celeri distincta meatu ; dein* epulas et bella truci memorata canore grandiaque indomiti Ciceronis verba minetur. His animum succinge bonis: sic flumine largo plenus Pierio defundes pectore verba." Dum hunc diligentius audio, non notavi mihi Ascylti fugam. Et dum in hoc dictorum aestu in hortis incedo, ingens scholasticorum turba in porticum venit, ut appa- rebat, ab extemporali declamatione nescio cuius, qui Agamemnonis suasoriam exceperat. Dum ergo iuvenes sententias rident ordinemque totius dictionis infamant, opportune subduxi me et cursim Ascylton persequi coepi. Sed nee viam diligenter tenebam [quia] nee quod stabulum esset sciebam. Itaque quocunque ie- ram, eodem revertebar, donee et cursu fatigatus et

' scenam Heinsius : scena.

'■' histrionis ad rictus O. Ribbeck: histrioni addictus, ^furtiva Heinsius: fortuna.

dein Pithoeus: dent.

SATYRICON

of the wicked, or sit before the stage applauding an actor's grimaces for a price.

But whether the fortress of armoured Tritonis smiles upon him, or the land where the Spartan farmer lives, or the home of the Sirens, let him give the years of youth to poetry, and let his fortunate soul drink of the Maeonian fount. Later, when he is full of the learning of the Socratic school, let him loose the reins, and shake the weapons of mighty Demosthenes like a free man. Then let the company of Roman ^\Titers pour about him, and, newly unburdened from the music of Greece, steep his soul and transform his taste. Meanwhile, let him withdraw from the courts and suffer his pages to run free, and in secret make ringing strains in swift rhythm; then let him proudly tell tales of feasts, and wars recorded in fierce chant, and lofty words such as undaunted Cicero uttered. Gird up thy soul for these noble ends ; so shalt thou be fully inspired, and shalt pour out words in swelling torrent from a heart the Muses love."

I was listening to him so carefully that I did not notice Ascj'ltos slipping away. I was pacing the gar- dens in the heat of our conversation, when a great crowd of students came out into the porch, apparently from some master whose extemporary harangue had followed Agamemnon's discourse.^ So while the young men were laughing at his epigrams, and de- nouncing the tendency of his style as a whole, I took occasion to steal away and began hurriedly to look for Ascyltos. But I did not remember the road accurately, and I did not know where our lodgings were. So wherever I went, I kept coming back to

'A declamation on a g-iven deliberative theme {suasoria), which the teacher delivered as an example to his pupils.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

7 sudore iam madens accedo aniculam quandam, quae agreste holus vendebat, et ' Rogo" inquam "mater, numquid scis ubi ego habitem?" delectata est ilia urbanitate tarn stulta et "Quidni sciam?" inquit, con- surrexitque et coepit me praecedere. Divinam ego putabam et . . .

Subinde ut in locum secretiorem venimus, centonem anus urbana reiecit et Hie" inquit ' debes habitare." Cum ego negarem me agnoscere domum, video quos- dam inter titulos nudasque meretrices furtim spatian- tes. Tarde, immo iam sero intellexi me in fornicem esse deductum. Execratus itaque aniculae insidias operui caput et per medium lupanar fugere coepi in alteram partem, cum ecce in ipso aditu occurrit mihi aeque lassus ac moriens Ascyltos; putares ab eadem anicula esse deductum. Itaque ut ridens eum consa-

8 lutavi, quid in loco tarn deformi faceret quaesivi. Su- dorem ille manibus detersit et Si scires " inquit quae mihi acciderunt." Quid novi" inquam ego?" at ille deficiens cum errarem" inquit per totam civi- tatem nee invenirem, quo loco stabulum reliquissem, accessit ad me pater familiae et ducem se itineris humanissime promisit. Per anfractus deinde obscu- rissimos egressus in hunc locum me perduxit prolatoque

L peculio coepit rogare stuprum. | Iam pro cella mere- LO trix assem exegerat, | iam ille mihi iniecerat manum,

et nisi valentior fuissem, dedissem poenas" . . . L I Adeo ubique omnes mihi videbantur satureum

bibisse . . . iunctis viribus molestum contempsimus . . .

9 Quasi per caliginem vidi Gitona in crepidine semitae

SATYRICON

the same sp>ot, till I was tired out with walking, and dripping with sweat. At last I went up to an old 7 woman who was selling countrj- vegetables and said, " Please, mother, do you happen to know where I live?" She was charmed with such a polite fool, "of course I do," she said, and got up and began to lead the way. I thought her a prophetess . . . . , and when we had got into an obscure quarter the obliging old lady pushed back a patchwork curtain and said, " This should be your house. ' ' I was saying that I did not remember it,when I noticed some men and naked women walking cautiously about among placards of price. Too late, too late I realized that I had been taken into a bawdj'-house. I cursed the cunning old woman, and covered my head, and began to run through the brothel to another part, when just at the entrance Ascyltos met me, as tired as I was, and half-dead. It looked as though the same old lady had brought him there. I hailed him with a laugh, and asked him what he was doing in such an unpleasant spot. He mopped himself with his hands 8 and said. If you only knew what has happened to me." "What is it?" I said. Well," he said, on the point of fainting, I was wandering all over the town with- out finding where I had left my lodgings, when a respectable person came up to me and very kindly offered to direct me. He took me round a number of dark turnings and brought me out here, and then began to offer me money and solicit me. A woman got threepence out of me for a room, and he had al- ready seized me. The worst would have happened if I had not been stronger than he." . . .

Every one in the place seemed to be drunk on aphro- disiacs . . . but our united forces defied our assailant. . . . I dimly saw Giton standing on the kerb of the road 9

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

stantem et in eundem locum me conieci

Cum quaererem numquid nobis in prandium frater parasset, consedit puer super lectum et manantes lacri- mas pollice extersit.^ Perturbatus ego habitu fratris, quid accidisset, quaesivi. Et ille tarde quidem et in- vitus, sed postquam precibus etiam iracundiam miscui, Tuus" inquit iste frater seu comes paulo ante in conductum accucurrit coepitque mihi velle pudorem LO extorquere. | Cum ego proclamarem, gladium strinxit et Si Lucretia es' inquit Tarquinium invenisti.'" L I Quibus ego auditis intentavi in oculos Ascylti manus et Quid dicis" inquam muliebris patientiae scor- tum, cuius ne spiritus quidem purus est?" Inhorre- scere se finxit Ascyltos, mox sublatis fortius manibus longe maiore nisu clamavit: Non taces " inquit 'gla- diator obscene, quem de . . . ruina harena dimisit? Non taces, nocturne percussor, qui ne turn quidem, cum fortiter faceres, cum pura muliere pugnasti, cuius eadem ratione in viridario frater fui, qua nunc in 10 deversorio puer est?" Subduxisti te" inquam^ a praeceptoris colloquio." Quid ego, homo stultissime, facere debui, cum fame morerer ? An videlicet audirem sententias, id est vitrea fracta et somniorum interpre- tamenta ? Multo me turpior es tu hercule, qui ut foris cenares, poetam laudasti."

Itaque ex turpissima lite in risum diffusi pacatius ad reliqua secessimus. . . .

Rursus in memoriam revocatus iniuriae Ascylte" inquam "intellego nobis convenire non posse. Itaque

^ extersit Pithoeus : expressit. 'inquam Pithoeus: inquit. 12

SATYRICON

in the dark, and hurried towards him. ... 1 was asking my brother whether he had got ready anji:hing for us to eat, when the boy sat down at the head of the bed, and began to cry and rub away the tears with his thumb. My brother's looks made me uneasy, and I asked what had happened. The boy was unwilling to tell, but I added threats to entreaties, and at last he said. That brother or friend of yours ran into our lodgings a little while ago and began to offer me violence. I shouted out, and he drew his sword and said, If j'ou are a Lucretia, you have found your Tarquin.' "

When I heard this I shook my fist in Ascyltos's face. What have you to say?" I cried, ' You dirty fellow whose very breath is unclean?" Ascyltos first pretended to be shocked, and then made a great show of fight, and roared out much more loudly : " Hold your tongue, you filthy prizefighter. You were kicked out of the ring in disgrace. Be quiet. Jack Stab-in- the-dark. You never could face a clean woman in your best days. I was the same kind of brother to you in the garden, as this boy is now in the lodg- ings."

You sneaked away from the master's talk," I said. 1 Well, you fool, what do you expect? I was perish- ing of hunger. Was I to go on listening to his views, all broken bottles and interpretation of dreams ? By God, you are far worse than I am, flattering a poet to get asked out to dinner."

Then our sordid quarrelling ended in a shout of laughter, and we retired afterwards more peaceably for what remained to be done. . . .

But his insult came into my head again. "Ascyl- tos," I said, I am sure we cannot agree. We will

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

communes sarcinulas partiamur ac paupertatem nos- tram privatis quaestibus temptemus expellere. Et tu litteras scis et ego. Ne quaestibus tuis obstem, aliud aliquid promittam ; alioqui mille causae quotidie nos collident et per totam urbem rumoribus different." Non recusavit Ascyltos et "Hodie" inquit "quia tan- quam scholastici ad cenam promisimus, non perdamus noctem. Cras autem, quia hoc libet^ et habitationem mihi prospiciam et aliquem fratrem." "Tardum est" inquam difFerre quod placet." . . .

Hanc tam praecipitem divisionem libido faciebat; iamdudum enim amoliri cupiebam custodem molestum, ut veterem cum GitoHe meo rationera reducerem.^ . . .

1 1 Postquam lustravi oculis totam urbem, in cellulam redii, osculisque tandem bona fide exactis alligo artis- simis complexibus puerum fruorque votis usque ad in- vidiam felicibus. Nee adhuc quidem omnia erant facta, cum Ascyltos furtim se foribus admovit discussisque fortissime claustris invenit me cum fratre ludentem. Risu itaque plausuque cellulam implevit, opertum me amiculo e vol vit et Quid agebas "inquit frater sanctis- sime, qui diverti contubernium' facis?" Nee se solum intra verba continuity sed lorum de pera solvit et me coepit non perfunctorie verberare, adiectis etiam petulantibus dictis : Sic dividere cum fratre nolito ". . .

1 2 Veniebamus in forum deficiente iam die, in quo no- tavimus frequentiam rerum venalium, non quidem pre- tiosarum sed tamen quarum fidem male ambulantem obscuritas temporis facillime tegeret. Cum ergo et ipsi raptum latrocinio pallium detulissemus, uti occasione opportunissima coepimus atque in quodam angulo

redvicerem Buecheler : deducerem.

'qui diverti contubernium Buecheler: quid . i . verticon- tubernium. 14

SATYRICON

divide our luggage, and try to defeat our poverty by our own earnings. You are a scholar, and so am I. Besides, I •will promise not to stand in the way of your success. Otherwise twenty things a day wiU bring us into opposition, and si)read scandal about us all over the town." Ascyltos acquiesced, and said. But as we are engaged to supper to-night Uke a couple of students, do not let us waste the evening. I shall be pleased to look out for new lodgings and a new brother to-morrow?" Waiting for one's pleasures is weary work," I rephed. . . .

I went sight-seeing all over the town and then 11 came back to the little room. At last I could ask for kisses openly. I hugged the boy close in mj' arms and had my fill of a happiness that might be envied. All was not over when Ascyltos came sneaking up to the door, shook back the bars by force, and found me at play with my brother. He filled the room with laughter and applause, pulled me out of the cloak I had over me, and said, \Miat are you at, my pure- minded brother, you that would break up our partner- ship?" Not content with gibing, he pulled the strap off his bag, and began to give me a regular flogging, saying sarcastically as he did so : Don't make this kind of bargain with your brother." . . .

It was already dusk when we came into the market. 1 2 We saw a quantity of things for sale, of no great value, though the twihght very easily cast a veU over their shaky reputations. So for our jjart we stole a cloak and carried it off, and seized the opportunity of displaying the extreme edge of it in one comer of

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

laciniam extremam concutere, si quern forte emptorem splendor vestis posset adducere. Nee diu moratus rusticus quidam familiaris oculis meis cum muliercula coniite propius accessit ac diligentius considerare pal- lium coepit. Invicem Ascyltos iniecit contemplationem super umeros rustici emptoris ac subito exanimatus conticuit. Ac ne ipse quidem sine aliquo motu ho- minem conspexi, nam videbatur ille mihi esse, qui tunicam in solitudine invenerat. Plane is ipse erat. Sed cum Ascyltos timeret fidera oculorum, ne quid temere faceret, prius tanquam emptor propius accessit de- traxitque umeris laciniam et diligentius temptavit. O 13 lusum fortunae mirabilem. Nam adhuc nee suturae^ quidem attulerat rusticus curiosas manus, et^ tanquam mendici spolium etiam fastidiose venditabat. Ascyltos postquam depositum esse inviolatum vidit et personam vendentis contemptam, seduxit me paululum a turba et "Scis," inquit "frater, rediisse ad nos thesaurum de quo querebar ? Ilia est tunicula adhuc, ut apparet, in- tactis aureis plena. Quid ergo facimus, aut quo iure rem nostram vindicamus?"

Exhilaratus ego non tantum quia praedam videbam, sed etiam quod fortuna me a turpissima suspicione dimiserat, negavi circuitu agendum, sed plane iure civili dimicandum, ut si nollent^ alienam rem domino reddere, ad interdictum venirent.^

^ tzntavit Burmann: ternuit.

'suturae Pithoeus : futurae awe? furtivae.

^ ei Buecheler : sed.

nollent Buecheler: nollet.

venirent Buecheler: veniret. After veniret the MSS. place

the poem quid faciant, etc. {p. i8): it is transposed to its present position by Buecheler.

SATYRICON

the marketj hoping that the bright colour might attract a purchaser. In a Httle while a countryman, whom I knew by sight, came up with a girl, and began to examine the cloak narrowly. Ascyltos in turn cast a glance at the shoulders of our country customer,^ and was suddenly struck dumb with astonish- ment. I could not look upon the man myself without a stir, for he was the person, I thought, who had found the shirt in the lonely spot where we lost it. He was certainly the very man. But as Ascyltos was afraid to trust his eyes for fear of doing something rash, he first came up close as if he were a purchaser, and pulled the shirt off the countryman's shoulders, and then felt it carefully. By a wonderful stroke of luck the country- 1 S man had never laid his meddling hands on the seam, and he was offering the thing for sale with a conde- scending air as a beggar's leavings. When Ascyltos saw that our savings were untouched, and what a poor creature the seller was, he took me a little aside from the crowd, and said. Do you know, brother, the treasure I was grumbling at losing has come back to us. That is the shirt, and I believe it is still full of gold pieces : they have never been touched. WTiat shall we do? How shall we assert our legal rights ?"

I was delighted, not only because I saw a chance of profit, but because fortune had reUeved me of a very disagreeable suspicion. I was against any roundabout methods. I thought we should proceed openly by ci\'il process, and obtain a decision in the courts if they refused to give up other people's property to the rightful owners.

'The rustic was carrying a shirt {tunica) hung over his shoulders.

c 17

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

] 4 Contra Ascyltos leges timebat et"Quis" aiebat"hoc loco nos novit, aut quis habebit dicentibus fidem? Mihi plane placet emere, quamvis nostrum sit, quod agnoscimus, et parvo aere recuperare potius thesaurum, quam in ambiguam litem descendere : LO I Quid faciant leges, ubi sola pecunia regnat,

aut ubi paupertas vincere nulla potest? Ipsi qui Cynica traducunt tempora pera/

non nunquam nummis vendere vera solent.'^ Ergo iudicium nihil est nisi publica merces,

atque eques in causa qui sedet, empta probat." L I Sed praeter unum dii^ondium/ quo cicer lupinosque destinaveramus mercari, nihil ad manum erat. Itaque ne interim praeda discederet, vel minoris pallium ad- dicere placuit et* pretium maioris compendii leviorem facere* iacturam. Cum primum ergo explicuimus mer- cem, mulier operto' capite, quae cum rustico steterat, inspectis diligentius signis iniecit utramque laciniae manum magnaque vociferatione "Latrones" [tenere]' clamavit. Contra nos perturbati, ne videremur nihil agere, et ipsi scissam et sordidam tenere coepimus tunicam atque eadem invidia proclamare, nostra esse spolia quae illi possiderent. Sed nullo genere par erat causa, [nam]* et cociones^ qui ad clamorem confluxe- rant, nostram scilicet de more ridebant invidiam, quod pro ilia parte vindicabant pretiosissimam vestem, pro

pera Heinsius : cera.

' vendere vera solent cod. Vossianus (verba Z) : verba Solent emere other MSS.

dupoiidium sicel lupinosque quibus destinaveramus J/55..*

corrected by Gronovius, Buecheler and an unknown scholar mentioned by Boschius.

et Buecheler: ut. * facere Buecheler: faceret.

•operto Wou-wer: ^Y>^\-Ko. "< ^^^^ bracketed by Buecheler. •cociones qui Salmasius : conciones quae.

SATYRICON

But Ascyltos was afraid of the law : Nobody knows 1 4 us in this place," he said, 'and nobody will believe what we say. I should certainly like to buy the thing, although it is ours and we know it. It is better to get back our savings cheaply than to embark upon the perils of a lawsuit :

' Of what avail are laws where money rules alone, and the poor suitor can never succeed ? The very men who mock at the times by carrj'ing the Cynic's scrip have sometimes been known to betray the truth for a price. So a lawsuit is nothing more than a public auction, and the knightly juror who sits listening to the case gives his vote as he is paid."

But we had nothing in hand except one sixpence,* with which we had meant to buy pease and lupines. And so for fear our prize should escape us, we decided to sell the cloak cheaper than we had intended, and so to incur a slight loss for a greater gain. We had just unrolled our piece, when a veiled woman, who was standing by the countryman, looked carefully at the marks, and then seized the cloak with both hands, shouting at the top of her voice. Thieves ! " We were terrified, but rather than do nothing, we began to tug at the dirty torn shirt, and cried out with equal bitter- ness that these people had taken some si>oil that was ours. But the dispute was in no way even, and the dealers who were attracted by the noise of course laughed at our indignation, since one side was laying claim to an expensive cloak, the other to a set of rags ' Literally, a coin worth 2 asses. c2 19

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

hac pannuciam ne centonibus quidem bonis dignam. 15 Hinc Ascyltos bene risum discussit, qui silentio facto Videmus "^ inquit suam cuique rem esse carissimam ; reddant nobis tunicam nostram et pallium suum reci- piant." Etsi rustico mulierique placebat permutatio, advocati tamen iam poenae nocturni, qui volebant pallium lucri facere, flagitabant uti apud se utraque deponerenturac posterodiedudex querellam inspiceret. Neque enim res tantum, quae viderentur in controver- siam esse, sed longe aliud quaeri, quod in utraque parte scilicet latrocinii suspicio haberetur. Iam se- questri placebant, et nescio quis ex cocionibus, calvus, tuberosissimae frontis^ qui solebat aliquando etiam causas agere, invaserat pallium exhibiturumque cra- stino die affirmabat. Ceterum apparebat nihil aliud quaeri nisi ut semel deposita vestis inter praedones strangularetur et nos metu criminis non veniremus ad constitutum.

Idem plane et nos volebamus. Itaque utriusque partis votum casus adiuvit. Indignatus enim rusticus, quod nos centonem exhibendum postularemus, misit in faciem Ascylti tunicam et liberatos querella iussit pallium deponere, quod solum litem faciebat ....

Et recuperatOj ut putabamus, thesauro in deversorium praecipites abimus praeclusisque foribus ridere acumen non minus cocionum quam calumniantium coepimus, quod nobis ingenti calliditate pecuniam reddidissent. Nolo quod cupio, statim tenere, nee victoria mi placet parata . . ,

v'\c{cm»s J^un^cnuann : videamus.

SATYRICON

which would not serve to make a decent patchwork. 1 5 Ascyltos nowcleverlj- stopped their laughter by calling for silence and saying, " Well, you see, every one has an affection for his ovm things. If they will give us our shirt, they shall have their cloak." The country- man and the woman were satisfied with this exchange, but by this time some policemen had been called in to punish us; they wanted to make a profit out of the cloak, and tried to persuade us to leave the disputed property with them and let a judge look into our com- plaints the next day. They urged that besides the counter-claims to these garments, a far graver question arose, since each party must lie under suspicion of thiev- ing. It was suggested that trustees should be appointed, and one of the traders, a bald man with a spotty fore- head, who used sometimes to do law work, laid hands on the cloak and declared that he would produce it to-morrow. But clearly the object was that the cloak should be deposited with a pack of thieves and be seen no more, in the hope that we should not keep our appointment, for fear of being charged.

It was obvious that our wishes coincided with his, and chance came to support the wishes of both sides. The countrj-man lost his temper when we said his rags must be sho'v^Ti in public, threw the shirt in Ascyltos's face, and asked us, now that we had no grievance, to give up the cloak which had raised the whole quarrel. . . . We thought we had got back our savings. We hurried away to the inn and shut the door, and then had a laugh at the wits of our false accusers and at the dealers too, whose mighty sharpness had returned our money to us. I never want to grasp what I desire at once, nor do easy victories deUght me."

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

l6L0 I Sed ut primum beneficio Gitonis praeparata nos im- plevimus cena, ostium non satis audaci st: pitu ecso- nuit impulsum.

Cum et ipsi ergo pallidi rogaremus, quis esset, "Aperi" inquit lam scies." Dumque loquimur, sera sua sponte delapsa cecidit reclusaeque subito fores admiserunt intrantem. Mulier autem erat operto capite, ilia scilicet quae paulo ante cum rustico stete- rat, et Me derisisse" inquit vos putabatis? ego sum ancilla Quartillae, cuius vos sacrum ante cryptam turbastis. Ecce ipsa venit ad stabulum petitque ut vobiscum loqui liceat. Nolite perturbari. Nee accusat errorem vestrum nee punit, immo potius miratur, quis deus iuvenes tarn urbanos in suam regionem detulerit." 1 7 Tacentibus adhuc nobis et ad neutram partem adsen- tationem flectentibus intravit ipsa, una comitata vir- gine, sedensque super torum meum diu flevit. Ac ne tunc quidem nos ullum adiecimus verbum, sed attoniti expectavimus lacrimas ad ostentationem doloris para- tas. Ut ergo tarn ambitiosus detumuit imber, retexit superbum pallio caput et manibus inter se usque ad articulorum strepitum constrictis Quaenam est" inquit haec audaciaj aut ubi fabulas etiam anteces- sura latrocinia didicistis ? misereor mediusfidius vestri ; neque enim impune quisquam quod non licuit, ad- spexit. Utique nostra regio tam praesentibus plena est numinibus, ut facilius possis deum quam hominem invenire. Ac ne me putetis ultionis causa hue venisse, aetate magis vestra commoveor quam iniuria mea. Imprudentes enim, ut adhuc puto, admisistis inex- piabile scelus. Ipsa quidem ilia nocte vexata tam peri-

' defumuit Buecheler: detonuit. 22

SATYRICON

Thanks to Giton, we found supper ready, «nd we 16 were making a hearty meal, when a timid knock sounded at the door.

We turned pale and asked who it was. Open the door," said a voice, and you will see." While we were speaking, the bar slipped and fell of its own accord, the door suddenly swung open, and let in our visitor. It was the veiled woman who had stood with the countryman a little while before. Did you think you had deceived me?" she said. I am Quartilla's maid. You intruded upon her devotions before her secret chapel. Now she has come to your lodgings, and begs for the favour of a word with you. Do not be uneasy ; she will not be angrj', or punish you for a mistake. On the contrary, she wonders how Heaven conveyed such polite young men to her quarter." We still said nothing, and showed no approval one 17 way or the other. Then Quartilla herself came in with one girl by her, sat down on my bed, and cried for a long while. We did not put in a word even then, but sat waiting in amazement for the end of this carefully arranged exhibition of grief. When this very designing rain had ceased, she drew her proud head out of her cloak and wrung her hands together till the joints cracked. "You bold creatures," she said, where did you learn to outrival the robbers of ro- mance? Heaven knows I pity you. A man cannot look upon forbidden things and go free. Indeed the gods walk abroad so conamonly in our streets that it is easier to meet a god than a man. Do not suppose that I have come here to avenge myself. I am more sorry for your tender years than for my own wrongs. For I still believe that heedless youth has led you into deadly sin. I laj- tormenting myself that night and

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

culoso inhorrui frigore, ut tertianae etiam impetum timeam. Et ideo medicinam somnio petii iussaque sum vos perquirere atque impetum morbi monstrata subtilitate lenire. Sed de remedio non tam valde laboro ; maior enim in praecordiis dolor saevit, qui me usque ad necessitatem mortis deducit, ne scilicet iuvenili impuisi licentia quod in sacello Priapi vidistis, vulgetis deorumque consilia proferatis in populum. Protendo igitur ad genua vestra supinas manus peto- que et oro, ne nocturnas religiones iocum risumque faciatis, neve traducere velitis tot annorum secreta, quae vix mille homines noverunt."

18 Secundum hanc deprecationem lacrimas rursus effudit gemitibusque largis concussa tota facie ac pe- ctore torum meum pressit. Ego eodem tempore et misericordia turbatus et metu, bonum animum habere eam iussi et de utroque esse securam: nam neque sacra quemquam vulgaturum, et si quod praeterea aliud remedium ad tertianam deus illi monstrassetj adiuvaturos nos divinam providentiam vel periculo nostro. Hilarior post hanc pollicitationem facta mulier basiavit me spissius, et ex lacrimis in risum mota descendentes ab aura capillos meos lenta^ manu L duxit I et Facio" inquit indutias vobiscum, et a

LO constituta lite dimitto. Quod | si non adnuissetis de hac medicina quam peto, iam parata erat in crastinura turba, quae et iniuriam meam vindicaret et dignitatem :

' lenta Bongarsius: tentata. 24

SATYRICON shivering with such a dreadful chill that I even fear an attack of tertian ague. So I asked for a remedy in my dreamSj and was told to find you out and allay the raging of my disease by the clever plan you would show me. But I am not so greatly concerned about a cure ; deep in my heart bums a greater grief, which drags me down to inevitable death. I am afraid that youthful indiscretion -will lead you to publish abroad what you saw in the chapel of Priapus^ and reveal our holy rites to the mob. So I kneel with folded hands before you, and beg and pray you not to make a laughing-stock of our nocturnal worship, not to deride the immemorial mystery to which less than a thousand souls hold the key."

She finished her prayer, and again cried bitterly, 18 and buried her face and bosom in my bed, shaken all over with deep sobs. I was distracted with pity and terror together. I reassured her, telling her not to trouble herself about either point. No one would betray her devotions, and we would risk our lives to assist the >vill of Heaven, if the gods had showed her any further cure for her tertian ague. At this promise the woman grew more cheerful, kissed me again and again and gently stroked the long hair that fell about my ears, having passed from crying to laughter. I will sign a peace with you," she said, and withdraw the suit I have entered against you. But if you had not promised me the cure I want, there was a whole regiment ready for to- morrow to wipe out my wrongs and uphold my honour:

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Contemni turpe est, legem donare superbum;

hoc amo, quod possum qua libet ire via. Nam sane et sapiens contemptus iurgia nectit, et qui non iugulat, victor abire solet" .... Complosis deinde manibus in tantum repente risum efFusa est, ut timeremus. Idem ex altera parte et

19 ancilla fecit, quae prior venerat, idem virguncula, quae una intraverat. Omnia mimico risu exsonuerant, cum interim nos, quae tarn repentina esset mutatio ani- morum facta, ignoraremus ac modo nosmet ipsos modo mulieres intueremur ....

L I Ideo vetui hodie in hoc deversorio quemquam mortalium admitti, ut remedium tertianae sine ulla interpellatione a vobis acciperem." Ut haec dixit Quartilla, Ascyltos quidem paulisper obstupuit, ego autem frigidior hieme Gallica factus nullum potui verbum emittere. Sed ne quid tristius expectarem, comitatus faciebat. Tres enim erant mulierculae, si quid vellent conari, infirmissimae, scilicet contra nos, quibus si nihil aliud, virilis sexus esset. Et praecincti certe altius eramus. Immo ego sic iam paria compo- sueram, ut si depugnandum foret, ipse cum Quartilla consisterem, Ascyltos cum ancilla, Giton cum vir- gine ....

Tunc vero excidit omnis constantia attonitis, et mors non dubia miserorum oculos coepit obducere ....

20 Rogo" inquam domina, si quid tristius paras, celerius confice; neque enim tam magnum facinus admisimus, ut debeamus torti perire" ....

SATYRICON

"To be flouted is disgraceful, but to impose terms is glorious: I rejoice that I can follow what course I please. For surely even a wise man will take up a quarrel when he is flouted, while the man who sheds no blood commonly comes off" victorious." . . .

Then she clapped her hands and suddenly burst out laughing so loud that we were frightened. The maid who had come in first did the same on one side of us, and also the little girl who had come in with QuartUla. The whole place rang with farcical laughter, 1 9 while we kept looking first at each other and then at the women, not understanding how they could have changed their tune so quickly. . . .

1 forbade any mortal man to enter this inn to-day, just so that I might get you to cure me of my tertian ague without interruptions." When Quartilla said this, Ascyltos was struck dumb for a moment, while I turned colder than a Swiss winter, and could not utter a syllable. But the presence of my friends saved me from my worst fears. They were three weak women, if they wanted to make any attack on us. We had at least our manhood in our favour, if nothing else. And certainly our dress was more fit for action. Indeed I had already matched our forces in pairs. If it came to a real fight, I was to face Quartilla, Ascyltos her maid, Giton the girl

But then all our resolution yielded to astonishment, and the darkness of certain death began to fall on our unhappy eyes. . . .

If you have anything worse in store, madam," I 20 said, be quick with it. We are not such desperate criminals that we deserve to die by torture." . . .

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Ancilla quae Psyche vocabatur, lodiculam in pavi- mento diligenter extendit ....

SoUicitavit inguina mea mille iam mortibus fri- gida ....

Operuerat Ascj'ltos pallio caput, admonitus scilicet periculosum esse alienis intervenire secretis ....

Duas institas ancilla protulit de sinu alteraque pedes nostros alligavitj altera manus ....

Ascyltos iam deficiente fabularum contextu Quid ? ego"^inquit non sumdignusquibibam?" Ancillarisu meo prodita complosit manus et Apposui quidem . . . adulescens, solus tantum medicamentum ebibisti?" Itane est?" inquit Quartilla quicquid saturei fuit, Encolpius ebibit?" ....

Non indecenti risu latera commovit .... LO I Ac ne Giton quidem ultimo risum tenuit, utique postquam virguncula cervicem eius invasit et non re- pugnanti puero innumerabilia oscula dedit .... 21 L I Volebamus miseri exclamare, sed nee in auxilio erat quisquam, et hinc Psyche acu comatoria cupienti mihi invocare Quiritum fidem malas pungebat, illinc puella penicillo, quod et ipsum satureo tinxerat, Ascylton opprimebat ....

Ultimo cinaedus supervenit myrtea subomatus gausapa cinguloque succinctus ....

Modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basiis olidissimis inquinavit, donee Quartilla balaenaceam tenens virgam alteque succincta iussit infelicibus dari missionem ....

'ego Goldast: ergo. 28

SATYRICON

The maid, whose name was Psyche, carefully spread a blanket on the floor. Sollicitavit inguina mea mille iam mortibus frigida .... Ascyltos had buried his head in his cloak. I suppose he had warning that it is dangerous to pry into other people's secrets. . . .

The maid brought two straps out of her dress and tied our feet with one and our hands with the other. . . .

The thread of our talk was broken. "^Come," said Ascyltos, do not I deserve a drink?" The maid was given away by my laughter at this. She clapped her hands and said, I put one by you, young man. Did you drink the whole of the medicine yourself?" 'Did he really?" said Quartilla, did Encolpius drink up the whole of our loving-cup?" Her sides shook vriih

delightful laughter Even Giton had to laugh at last,

I mean when the little girl took him by the neck and showered countless kisses on his unresisting lips. . . .

We wanted to cry out for pain, but there was no 21 one to come to the rescue, and when I tried to cry Help, all honest citizens ! " Psyche pricked my cheek with a hair-pin, while the girl threatened Ascyltos with a wet sponge which she had soaked in an aphro- disiac. . . .

At last there arrived a low fellow in a fine brown suit with a waistband. . . .

Modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basiis olidissimis inquinavit, donee Quartilla balaenaceam tenens virgam alteque succincta iussit infelicibus dari missionem ....

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Uterque nostrum religiosissimis iuravit verbis inter duos periturum esse tam horribile secretum ....

Intraverunt palaestritae complures et nos legitime perfusos oleo refecerunt. Utcunque ergo lassitudine abiecta cenatoria repetimus et in proximam cellam ducti sumus, in qua tres lecti strati erant et reliquus lautitiarum apparatus splendidissime expositus. lussi ergo discubuimus, et gustatione mirifica initiati vino etiam Falerno inundamur. Exeepti etiam pluribus ferculis cum laberemur in somnum, Itane est?" inquit Quartilla etiam dormire vobis in mente est, cum sciatis Priapi genio pervigilium deberi?" . . . 22 Cum Ascyltos gravatus tot malis in somnum labe- retur, ilia quae iniuria depulsa fuerat ancilla totam faciem eius fuligine longa perfricuit et non sentientis labra umerosque sopitionibus^ pinxit. lam ego etiam tot malis fatigatus minimum veluti gustum hauseram somni ; idem et tota intra forisque familia fecerat, at- que alii circa pedes discumbentium sparsi iacebant, alii parietibus appliciti, quidam in ipso limine coniun- ctis manebant capitibus; lucernae quoque umore de- fectae tenue et extremum lumen spargebant : cum duo Syri expilaturi [lagoenam]^ triclinium intraverunt^ dumque inter argentum avidius rixantur, diductam fre- gerunt lagoenam. Cecidit etiam mensa cum argento, et ancillae super torum marcentis excussum forte altius

^ sopitionibus, probably corrupt : sopionibus MSS. of Ca- tullus ^"j, lo: ropionibus /^f^/^-. 'lagoenam bracketed by Jahn.

SATYRICON

We both of us took a solemn oath that the dreadful secret should die with us. . . .

A number of attendants came in, rubbed us down with pure oil, and refreshed us. Our fatigue vanished, we put on evening dress again, and were shown into the next room, where three couches were laid and a whole rich dinner-service was finely spread out. We were asked to sit down, and after beginning with some wonderful hors d'oeuvres we swam in wine, and that too Falemian. We followed this with more courses, and were dropping off to sleep, when Quar- tilla said, ' Well, how can you think of going to sleep, when you know that is your duty to devote the whole night to the genius of Priapus?" . . .

Ascyltos was heavy-eyed with all his troubles, and 22 was falling asleep, when the maid who had been driven away so rudely rubbed his face over with soot, and coloured his lips and his neck with vermilion while he drowsed. By this time I was tired out with adven- tures too, and had just taken the tiniest taste of sleep. All the servants, indoors and out, had done the same. Some lay anyhow by the feet of the guests, some leaned against the walls, some even stayed in the doorway with their heads together. The oil in the lamps had run out, and they gave a thin dying light. All at once two Syrians came in to rob the dining-room, and in quarrelling greedily over the plate pulled a large jug in two and broke it. The table fell over with the plate, and a cup which happened to fly

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

poculum caput tetigit.^ Ad quem ictum exclamavit ilia pariterque et fures prodidit et partem ebriorum excitavit. Syri illi qui venerant ad praedam, post- quam deprehensos se intellexerunt, pai-iter secundum lectum conciderunt, ut putares hoc convenisse, et stertere tanquam olim dormientes coeperunt.

lam et tricliniarches experrectus lucernis occidenti- bus oleum infuderat^ et pueri detersis paulisper oculis redierant ad ministerium, cum intrans cymbalistria et

23 concrepans aera omnes excitavit. Refectum igitur est convivium et rursus Quartilla ad bibendum revocavit. Adiuvit hilaritatem comissantis cymbalistria. , . .

Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane ilia domo dignus^ qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, eiusmodi carmina efFudit :

"Hue hue cito' convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi, Pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta Femoreque^ facili, clune agili et manu procaces, Molles, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi." Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio con- spuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni vi detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu mul- tumque frustra moluit. Profluebant per frontem su-

24 dantis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat

cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare.

Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam per-

ductus tristitiam Quaeso" inquam domina, certe

tetegit Buecheler : fregit.

^ cito added hy Buecheler. ' que added by Buecheler.

SATYRICON

some distance hit the head of the maid, who was loUing over a seat. The knock made her scream, and this showed up the thieves and woke some of the drunken party. The Sj'rians who had come to steal dropped side by side on a sofa, when they reaUzed that they were being noticed, with the most con\-inc- ing naturalness, and began to snore like old-established sleepers.

B}- this time the butler had got up and refilled the flickering lamps. The boj^s rubbed their eyes for a few minutes, and then came back to wait. Then a girl with cymbals came in, and the crash of the brass aroused everybody. Our evening began afresh, and 23 Quartilla called us back again to our cups. The girl with the cymbals gave her fresh spirits for the revel. . . .

Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane ilia domo dignus, qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, eiusmodi carmina efl\idit:

Hue hue cito convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi, Pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta Femoreque^ facili, clune agili et manu procaces, MoUes, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi." Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio con- spuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni \i detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu mul- tumque frustra moluit. Profluebant per frontem Su- dan tis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat 24 cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare. Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam, per- ductus tristitiam Quaeso" inquam domina, certe

' cito added by Buecheler.

que added by Buecheler.

D 33

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

embasicoetan iusseras dari." Complosit ilia tenerius manus et O" inquit hominem acutum atque urba- nitatis vernaculae^ fontem. Quid ? tu non intellexeras cinaedum embasicoetan vocari?" Deinde ut contuber- nali meo melius suecederet, Per fidem" inquam vestram, Ascyltos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit?" Ita" inquit Quartilla et Ascylto embasicoetas de- tur." Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit transitu- que ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque LO distrivit. | Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset puer, diligentissima sciscitatione quaesivit. Cum ego fratrem meum esse dixissem, Quare ergo " inquit me non basiavit?" Vocatumque ad se in osculum appli- cuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et per- trectato vasculo tam rudi Haec" inquit belle eras in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit; hodie enim post asellum diaria non sumo." 25 Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens accessit, et cum dixisset nescio quid, Ita^ ita" inquit Quartilla bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima occasio est, devirginatur Pannychis nostra?" Con- tinuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, [et] ea ipsa qua« primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias [fecerunt]^ obstupui ego et nee Gitona, verecundissi- mum puerum, sufficere huic petulantiae affirmavij nee

vernaculae Scioppius: vcrniilae.

' fecerunt bracketed by Mornmsen,

SATYRICON

embasicoetan iusseras dari." Complosit ilia tenerius manus et O" inquit hominem acutum atque urba- nitatis vernaculae fontem. Quid? tu non intellexeras cinaedum embasicoetan vocari?" Deinde ut contuber- nali raeo melius succederet. Per fidem" inquam vestram, Ascyltos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit?" Ita" inquit Quartilla et Ascylto embasicoetas de- tur." Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit transitu- que ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque distrivit. | Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat LO ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset puer, diligentissima sciscitatione quaesiWt. Cum ego fratrem meum esse dixissem, Quare ergo " inquit me non basiavit?" Vocatumque ad se in osculum appli- cuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et per- trectato vasculo tam rudi Haec" inquit 'belle eras in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit: hodie enim post asellum diaria non sumo."

Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens 23 accessit, et cum dixisset nescio quid, Ita, ita" inquit Quartilla bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima occasio est, de\lrginatur Pannychis nostra?" Con- tinuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, [et] ea ipsa quae primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias [fecerunt] obstupui ego et nee Gitona, verecimdissi- mum puerum, sufficere huie petulantiae affirmavi, nee d2 35

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

puellam eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae le- gem posset accipere. Ita" inquit Quartilla "minor est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virum passa sum? lunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me memi- nerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans cum paribus inclinata sum, et subinde procedentibus ^ annis maio- ribus me pueris applicui, donee ad hanc aetatem per- veni. Hinc etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit." Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater acciperet, 26 consurrexi ad officium nuptiale. lam Psyche puellae caput involverat flammeo, iam embasicoetas praefere- bat facem, iam ebriae mulieres longum agmen plau- dentes fecerant thalamumque incesta exornaverant veste, cum^ Quartilla quoque iocantium libidine ac- censa et ipsa surrexit correptumque Gitona in cubieu- lum traxit.

Sine dubio non repugnaverat puer, ac ne puella quidem tristis expaverat nuptiarum nomen. Itaque cum inclusi iacerent, consedimus ante limen thalami, et in primis Quartilla per rimam improbe diductam applicuerat oculum curiosum lusumque puerilem libi- dinosa speculabatur diligentia. Me quoque ad idem spectaculum lenta manu traxit, et quia considerantium cohaeserant* vultus, quicquid a spectaculo vacabat, commovebat obiter labra et me tanquam furtivis sub- inde osculis verberabat. . . .

' inclinata Buecheler: inquinata.

^procedentibus Burmann on authority of '^ Old MS.": prodeuntibus.

cum Buecheler: turn.

cohaeserant Buecheler: haeserant.

SATYRICON

puellara eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae le- gem posset accipere. Ita" inquit Quartilla minor est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virmn passa sum ? lunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me memi- nerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans cum paribus inclinata^ sum, et subinde procedentibus" annis maio- ribus me pueris applicui, donee ad hanc aetatem per- veni. Hine etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit." Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater aceiperet, consurrexi ad officium nuptiale. lam Psyche puellae 26 caput involverat flamraeo, iam embasicoetas praefere- bat facem, iam ebriae mulieres longum agmen plau- dentes fecerant thalamumque incesta exomaverant veste, cum^ Quartilla quoque iocantium libidine ac- censa et ipsa surrexit correptumque Gitona in cubicu- lum traxit.

Sine dubio non repugnaverat puer, ac ne puella quidem tristis expaverat nuptiarum nomen. Itaque cum inclusi iacerent, consedimus ante limen thalamic et in primis Quartilla per rimam improbe diductam applicuerat oculum curiosum lusumque puerilem libi- dinosa speculabatur diligentia. Me quoque ad idem spectaculum lenta manu traxit, et quia considerantium cohaeserant* vultus, quicquid a spectaculo vacabat, commovebat obiter labra et me tanquam furtivis sub- inde osculis verberabat. . . .

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

L I Abiecti in lectis sine metu reliquam exegimus

noctem. . . . H I Venerat iam tertius dies, id est expectatio liberae cenae, sed tot vulneribus confossis fuga magis placebat, quam quies. Itaque cum maesti deliberaremus, quonam genere praesentem evitaremus procellam, unus servus Agamemnonis interpellavit trepidantes et Quid? vos" inquit nescitis, hodie apud quem fiat? TrimalchiOj lautissimus homo, horologium in triclinio et bucinatorem habet subornatum, ut subinde sciat, quantum de vita perdiderit." Amicimur ergo diligenter obliti omnium malorum, et Gitona libentis- sime servile officium tuentem usque hoe iubemus in

27 balnea^ sequi. Nos interim vestiti errare coepimus . . . immo iocari magis et circuhs [ludentem]^ accedere,

HL cum subito | videmus senem calvum, tunica vestitum russea, inter pueros capillatos ludentem pila. Nee tarn pueri nos, quamquam erat operae pretium, ad spectaculum duxerant, quam ipse pater familiae, qui soleatus pila prasina exercebatur. Nee amplius earn repetebat quae terram contigerat, sed follem plenum habebat servus sufficiebatque ludentibus. Notavimus etiam res novas. Nam duo spadones in diversa parte circuli stabant, quorum alter matellam tenebat argen- team, alter numerabat pilas, non quidem eas quae inter manus lusu expellente vibrabant, sed eas quae in terram decidebant. Cum has ergo miraremur lautitias, H I accurrit Menelaus et Hie est" inquit apud quem cubitum ponetis, et quidem ^ iam principium cenae videtis." Et iam non loquebatur Menelaus cum

^ haAnca. Jahn: balneo.

"^ ludentem bracketed by Buecheler.

' quidem Buecheler : quid.

SATYRICON

We threw ourselves into bed and spent the rest of the night without terrors. . . .

The third day had come. A good dinner was pro- mised. But we were bruised and sore. Escape was better even than rest. We were making some melan- choly plans for avoiding the coming storm, when one of Agamemnon's servants came up as we stood hesitating, and said, " Do you not know at whose house it is to- day? Trimalchio, a very rich man, who has a clock and a uniformed trumpeter in his dining-room, to keep telling him how much of his life is lost and gone." We forgot our troubles and hurried into our clothes, and told Giton, who till now had been waiting on us very willingly, to follow us to the baths. We began to 27 take a stroll in evening dress to pass the time, or rather to joke and mix with the groups of players, when all at once we saw a bald old man in a reddish shirt playing at ball with some long-haired boys. It was not the boys that attracted our notice, though they deserved it, but the old gentleman, who was in his house-shoes, busily engaged with a green ball. He never picked it up if it touched the ground. A slave stood by with a bagful and supplied them to the players. We also observed a new feature in the game. Two eunuchs were standing at different points in the group. One held a silver Jordan, one counted the balls, not as they flew from hand to hand in the rigour of the game, but when they dropped to the ground. We were amazed at such a display, and then Menelaus^ ran up and said, This is the man who will give you places at his table : indeed what you see is the over- ture to his dinner." Menelaus had just finished when

Agamemnon's assistant, who would take junior classes in

rhetoric. He is called antescholanus, assistant tutor, in c. 8i.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

HL J Trimalchio digitos concrepuit, ad quod signum matellam spado ludenti subiecit. Exonerata ille vesica aquam poposcit ad manus, digitosque paululum adspersos in capite pueri tersit.

28 Longum erat singula excipere. Itaque intra vimus balneum, et sudore calfacti momento temporis ad frigidam eximus. lam Trimalchio unguento perfusus tergebatur, non linteis, sed palliis ex lana mollissima factis. Tres interim iatraliptae in conspectu eius

// Falernum potabant, | et cum plurimum rixantes effunderent, Trimalchio hoc suum propinasse dicebat.

HL I Hinc involutus coccina gausapa lecticae impositus est praecedentibus phaleratis cursoribus quattuor et chiramaxio, in quo deliciae eius vehebantur, puer vetulus, lippuSj domino Trimalchione deformior. Cum ergo auferretur, ad caput eius symphoniacus cum minimis tibiis accessit et tanquam in aurem aliquid secreto diceret, toto itinere cantavit.

Sequimur nos admiratione iam saturi et cum

H Agamemnone ad ianuam pervenimus, | in cuius poste

libellus erat cum hac inscriptione fixus : Quisquis

servus sine dominico iussu foras exierit, accipiet plagas

HL centum." | In aditu autem ipso stabat ostiarius prasinatus, cerasino succinctus cingulo, atque in lance argentea pisum purgabat. Super limen autem cavea

29 pendebat aurea, in qua pica varia intrantes salutabat. Ceterum ego dum omnia stupeo, paene resupinatus crura mea fregi. Ad sinistram enim intrantibus non longe ab ostiarii cella canis ingens, catena vinctus, in pariete erat pictus superque quadrata littera scriptum

Cave canem." Et collegae quidem mei riserunt, ego autem collecto spiritu non destiti totum parietem persequi. Erat autem venalicium cum titulis pictum, 40

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Trimalchio cracked his fingers. One eimuch came up at this signal and held the Jordan for him as he played. He relieved himself and called for a basin, dipped in his hands and wiped them on a boy's head.

I cannot linger over details. We went into the bath. 28 We stayed till we ran Mith sweat, and then at once passed through into the cold water. Trimalchio was now anointed all over and rubbed down, not with towels, but with blankets of the softest wool. Three masseurs sat there drinking Falernian wine under his eyes. They quarrelled and spilt a quantity. Trimalchio said they were drinking his health. Then he was rolled up in a scarlet woollen coat and put in a litter. Four runners decked with medals went before him, and a hand-cart on which his favourite rode. This was a wrinkled blear-eyed boj' uglier than his master Trimalchio. As he was being driven off, a musician with a tiny pair of pipes arrived, and played the whole way as though he were whispering secrets in his ear.

We followed, lost in wonder, and came with Aga- memnon to the door. A notice was fastened on the doorpost: no slave ro go out of doors except by

THE master's orders. PENALTY, ONE HUNDRED STRIPES."

Just at the entrance stood a porter in green clothes, with a cherr5'-coloured belt, shelling peas in a silver dish. A golden cage hung in the doorway, and a spotted magpie in it greeted visitors. I was gazing 29 at all this, when I nearly fell backwards and broke my leg. For on the left hand as you went in, not far from the porter's office, a great dog on a chain was painted on the wall, and over him was written in large letters BEWARE OF THE DOG." My fiicnds laughed at me, but I plucked up courage and went on to examine the whole wall. It had a picture of a slave-market

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER et ipse Trimalchio capillatus caduceum tenebat Miner- vaque ducente Romam intrabat. Hinc quemadmodum ratiocinari didicisset, denique dispensator factus esset, omnia diligenter curiosus plctor cum inscriptione reddiderat. In deficiente vero iam porticu levatum mento in tribunal excelsum Mercurius rapiebat. Praesto erat Fortuna cornu abundanti copiosa et tres Parcae aurea pensa torquentes. Notavi etiam in porticu gregem cursorum cum magistro se exercentem. Prae- terea grande armarium in angulo vidi, in cuius aedicula erant Lares argentei positi Venerisque signum mar- moreum et pyxis aurea non pusilla, in quo barbam ipsius conditam esse dicebant.

Interrogare ergo atriensem coepi, quas in medio /? picturas haberent. Iliada et Odyssian " inquit | * ac Laenatis gladiatorium munus. ' ' Non licebat multaciam^ considerare .... UL SO Nos I iam ad triclinium perveneramus, in cuius parte prima procurator rationes accipiebat. Et quod prae- cipue miratus sum, in postibus triclinii fasces erant cum securibus fixi, quorum unam partem quasi embo- lum navis aeneum finiebat, in quo erat scriptum : C.

multaciam corrupt: Buecheler suggests multa iam.

4,2

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on it, with the persons' names. Trimalchio was there Rdth long hair, holding a Mercury's staff. ^ Minerva had him by the hand and was leading him into Rome. Then the painstaking artist had given a faithful picture of his whole career with explanations: how he had learned to keep accounts, and how at last he had been made steward. At the point where the wall-space gave out. Mercury had taken him by the chin, and was whirling him up to his high official throne. For- tune stood by with her floAving horn of plenty, and the three Fates spinning their golden threads. I also observed a company of runners practising in the gallery under a trainer, and in a comer I saw a large cupboard containing a tiny shrine, wherein were silver house-gods, and a marble image of Venus, and a large golden box, where they told me Trimalchio's first beard was laid up.

I began to ask the porter what pictures they had in the hall. The lUad and the Odyssey," he said, and the gladiator's show given by Laenas." I could not take them all in at once

We now went through to the dining-room. At the 80 entrance the steward sat receiving accounts. I was particularly astonished to see rods and axes fixed on the door posts of the dining-room, and one part of them finished off with a kind of ship's beak, inscribed :

Mercur)', as the god of business, was Trimalchio's patron.

It was Mercury who secured Trimalchio's selection to be a Sevir Augiistalis, an official responsible for duly carrying out the worship of the Emperor. One of the privileges of the Sevirs was to sit on a throne.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Pompeio Trimalchioni, seviro Augustali, Cinnamus dispensator." Sub eodem titulo et lucerna bilychnis de camera pendebat, et duae tabulae in utroque poste defixae, quarum altera, si bene memini hoc habebat inscriptum: III. et pridie kalendas lanuarias C. no- ster foras cenat/' altera lunae cursuni stellarumque septem imagines pictas ; et qui dies boni quique in- commodi essent, distinguente bulla notabantur. H I His repleti voluptatibus cum conaremur in tricli- nium intrare, exclamavit unus ex pueris, qui super hoc officium erat positus, Dextro pede.' Sine dubio paulisper trepidavimus, ne contra praeceptum aliquis

HL nostrum limen transiret. | Ceterum ut pariter movi- mus dextros gressus, servus nobis despoliatus procubuit ad pedes ac rogare coepit, ut se poenae eriperemus: nee magnum esse peccatum suum, propter quod peri- clitaretur ; subducta enim sibi vestimenta dispensatoris in balneo, quae vix fuissent decem sestertiorum. Rettulimus ergo dextros pedes dispensatoremque in atrio^ aureos numerantem deprecati sumus, ut servo remitteret poenam. Superbus ille sustulit vultum et Non tam iactura me movet" inquit quam negli- gentia nequissimi servi. Vestimenta mea cubitoria perdidit, quae mihi natali meo cliens quidam dona- verat, Tyria sine dubio, sed iam semel lota- Quid ergo est? Dono vobis eum."

31 Obligati tam grandi beneficio cum intrassemus tri- ' in atrio Buecheler : in precario. 44

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PRESENTED BY CINNAMUS THE STEWARD TO CAIUS POM-

PEIUS TRIMALCHIO, PRIEST OF THE COLLEGE OF AUGUSTUS."*

Under this inscription a double lamp hung from the ceiling, and two calendars were fixed on either door- post, one having this entry, if I remember right : Our master C. is out to supper on December the 30th and 31st," the other being painted with the moon in her course, and the likenesses of the seven stars. Lucky and unlucky days were marked too with distinctive knobs.

Fed full of these delights, we tried to get into the dining-room, when one of the slaves, who was en- trusted with this duty, cried. Right foot first!" For a moment we were naturally nervous, for fear any of us had broken the rule in crossing the threshold. But just as we were all taking a step with the right foot together, a slave stripped for flogging fell at our feet, and began to implore us to save him from punish- ment. It was no great sin which had put him in such peril; he had lost the steward's clothes in the bath, and the whole lot were scarcely worth ten sesterces. So we drew back our right feet, and begged the steward, who sat counting gold pieces in the hall, to let the slave off. He looked up haughtily, and said, It is not the loss I mind so much as the villain's carelessness. He lost mj- dinner dress, which one of my clients gave me on my birthday. It was Tj-rian dve, of course, but it had been washed once already. Well, well, I make you a present of the fellow."

We were obliged by his august kindness, and when 31

' Rods and axes were the symbols of office of lictors, the attendants on Roman magfistrates, and the Sevirs had the right to be attended by lictors. See c. 65.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER clinium, occurrit nobis ille idem servus, pro quo rogaveramus, et stupeiitibus spississima basia impegit gratias agens humanitati nostrae. "Ad summam, statim scietis" ait cui dederitis beneficium. Vinum dominicuni ministratoris gratia est" . . .

Tandem ergo discubuimus pueris Alexandrinis aquam in manus nivatam infundentibus aliisque inse- quentibus ad pedes ac paronychia cum ingenti sub- tilitate toUentibus. Ac ne in hoc quidem tam molesto tacebant officio, sed obiter cantabant. Ego experiri volui, an tota famiHa cantaret, itaque potionem po- posci. Paratissimus puer non minus me acido cantico excepit, et quisquis aliquid rogatus erat ut daret . . . pantomimi chorum, non patris famihae triclinium cre- deres. AUata est tamen gustatio valde lauta; nam lam omnes discubuerant praeter ipsum Trimalchionem, cui locus novo more primus servabatur. Ceterum in promulsidari asellus erat Corinthius cum bisaccio posi- tus, qui habebat olivas in altera parte albas, in altera nigras. Tegebant asellum duae lances, in quarum marginibus nomen Trimalchionis inscriptum erat et argenti pondus. Ponticuli etiam ferruminati sustine- bant glires melle ac papavere sparsos. Fuerunt et tomacula super craticulam argenteam ferventia posita, et infra craticulam Syriaca pruna cum granis Punici mali. 32 In his eramus lautitiis, cum ipse Trimalchio ad symphoniam allatus est positusque inter cervicalia minutissima expressit imprudentibus risum. Pallio enim coccineo adrasum excluserat caput circaque one- ratas veste cervices laticlaviam immiserat mappam 46

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we were in the dining-roonij the slave for whom we had pleaded ran up, and to our astonishment rained kisses on us, and thanked us for our mercy. One word," he said, you will know in a minute who owes you a debt of gratitude: The master's wine is in the butler's gift.'" ....

At last then we sat down, and boys from Alexandria poured water cooled with snow over our hands. Others followed and knelt down at our feet, and pro- ceeded with great skill to pare our hangnails. Even this unpleasant duty did not silence them, but they kept singing at their work. I wanted to find out whether the whole household could sing, so I asked for a drink. A ready slave repeated my order in a chant not less shrill. They all did the same if they were asked to hand anything. It was more like an actor's dance than a gentleman's dining-room. But some rich and tasty whets for the appetite were brought on; for every one had now sat down except Trimalchio, who had the first place kept for him in the new style. A donkey in Corinthian bronze stood on the side-board, with panniers holding olives, white in one side, black in the other. Two dishes hid the donkey; Trimal- chio's name and their weight in silver was engraved on their edges. There were also dormice rolled in honey and poppy-seed, and supported on little bridges soldered to the plate. Then there were hot sausages laid on a silver grill, and under the grill damsons and seeds of pomegranate.

While we were engaged with these delicacies, Tri- 32 malchio was conducted in to the sound of music, propped on the tiniest of pillows. A laugh escaped the unwary. His head was shaven and peered out of a scarlet cloak, and over the heavy clothes on his neck he had put on a

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

fimbriis hinc atque illinc pendentibus. Habebat etiam in minimo digito sinistrae manus anulum grandem subauratum, extreme vero articulo digiti sequentis minorem, ut mihi videbatur, totum aureum, sed plane ferreis veluti stellis ferruminatum. Et ne has tantum ostenderet divitias, dextrum nudavit lacertum armilla aurea cultum et eboreo circulo lamina splendente 33 conexo. Ut deinde pinna argentea denies perfodit, Amici" inquit nondum milii suave erat in triclinium venire, sed ne diutius absentivos morae vobis essem, omnem voluptatem mihi negavi. Permittetis tamen finiri lusum." Sequebatur puer cum tabula terebin- thina et crystallinis tesseris, notavique rem omnium delicatissimam. Pro calculis enim albis ac nigris aureos argenteosque habebat denarios. Interim dum ille omnium textorum dicta inter lusum consumit, gustantibus adhuc nobis repositorium allatum est cum corbe, in quo gallina erat lignea patentibus in orbem alls, quales esse solent quae incubant ova. Accessere continuo duo servi et symphonia strepente scrutari paleam coeperunt erutaque subinde pavonina ova divisere convivis. Convertit ad hanc scaenam Trimal- chio vultum et Amici " ait pavonis ova gallinae iussi supponi. Et mehercules timeo ne iam concepti sint; temptemus tamen, si adhuc sorbilia sunt." Accipi- mus nos cochlearia non minus selibras pendentia ova- que ex farina pingui figurata pertundimus. Ego quidem paene proieci partem meam, nam videbatur mihi iam in pullum coisse. Deinde ut audivi veterem convivam : Hie nescio quid boni debet esse," perse- 48

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napkin with a broad stripe and fringes hanging from it all round. On the little finger of his left hand he had an enormous gilt ring, and on the top joint of the next finger a smaller ring which appeared to me to be entirely gold, but was really set all round with iron cut out in little stars. Not content with this display of wealth, he bared his right arm, where a golden bracelet shone, and an ivory bangle clasped with a plate of bright metal. Then he said, as he picked his teeth with a 38 silver quill. It was not convenient for me to come to dinner yet, my friends, but I gave up all my own pleasure ; I did not like to stay away any longer and keep you waiting. But you will not mind if I finish my game?" A boy followed him with a table of tere- binth wood and crystal pieces, and I noticed the prettiest thing possible. Instead of black and white counters they used gold and silver coins. Trimalchio kept passing every kind of remark as he played, and we were still busy with the hors d'oeuvres, when a tray was brought in with a basket on it, in which there was a hen made of wood, spreading out her wings as they do when they are sitting. The music grew loud: two slaves at once came up and began to hunt in the straw. Peahen's eggs were pulled out and handed to the euests. Trimalchio turned his head to look, and said, I gave orders, my friends, that peahen's eggs should be put under a common hen. And upon my oath I am afraid they are hard-set by now. But we will try whether they are still fresh enough to suck." We took our spoons, half-a-pound in weight at least, and hammered at the eggs, which were balls of fine meaL I was on the point of throwing away my portion. I thought a peachick had already formed. But hearing a practised diner say. What treasure have we here ? " E 49

lITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

cutus putamen manu pinguissimam ficedulam inveni piperato vitello circumdatam. 34 lam Trimalchio eadem omnia lusu intermisso popo- scerat feceratque potestatem clara voce, si quis nostrum iterum vellet mulsum sumere, cum subito signum symphonia datur et gustatoria pariter a chore cantante rapiuntur. Ceterum inter tumultum cum forte par- opsis excidisset et puer iacentem sustulisset, animad- vertit Trimalchio colaphisque obiurgari puerum ac proicere rursus paropsidem iussit. Insecutus est lecticarius^ argentumque inter rehqua purgamenta //scopis coepit everrere. | Subinde intraverunt duo Aethiopes capillati cum pusilUs utribus, quales solent esse qui harenam in amphitheatro spargunt, vinumque dedere in manus; aquam enim nemo j)orrexit.

HL I Laudatus propter elegantias dominus Aequum" inquit Mars amat. Itaque iussi* suam cuique men- sam assignari. Obiter et putidissimi^ servi minorem nobis aestum frequentia sua facient."

Statim allatae sunt amphorae vitreae dihgenter gypsatae, quarum in cervicibus pittacia erant affixa cum hoc titulo: Falernum Opimianum annorum centum." Dum titulos perlegimus, complosit Trimal- chio manus et ' Eheu" inquit 'ergo diutius vivit | H vinum quam homuncio. Quare tengomenas* faciamus.

HL vita I vinum est. Verum Opimianum praesto. Heri

' supellecticarius Dousa, ^ 'mssi Burmann : hisstt MSS. ^ putidissimi Heinsius : pudissimi or pdissimi.

tengomenas Buecheler : tang-omenas.

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I poked through the shell with my finger, and found a fat becafico rolled up in spiced yolk of egg.

Trimalchio had now stopped his game, and 34 asked for all the same dishes, and in a loud voice invited any of us, who wished, to take a second glass of mead. Suddenly the music gave the sign, and the light dishes were swept away by a troop of singing servants. An entree-dish happened to fall in the rush, and a boy picked it up from the ground. Trimalchio saw him, and directed that he should be punished by a box on the ear, and made to throw down the dish again. A chairman followed and began to sweep out the silver with a broom among the other rubbish. Then two long-haired Ethiopians with little wine- skins, just like the men who scatter sand in an am- phitheatre, came in and gave us wine to wash our hands in, for no one offered us water.

We complimented our host on his arrangements.

Mars loves a fair field," said he, 'and so I gave

orders that every one should have a separate table.

In that way these filthy slaves will not make us so

hot by crowding past us."

Just then some glass jars carefully fastened with gypsum were brought on, with labels tied to their necks, inscribed, Falemian of Opimius's vintage, 100 years in bottle."^ As we were poring over the labels Trimalchio clapped his hands and cried, "Ah me, so wine lives longer than miserable man. So let us be merry.* Wine is life. I put on real wine of

' Opimjus was consul in 121 B.C.

The meaningf of the word tengomenas is uncertain.

Attempts have been made to connect it with the Greek -e'TY""» "to wet,'" because Alcaeus says t^ty* ■wvtvfj.ova.i 'ilvi^f, "wet the lungs with wine."

e2 51

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER non tarn bonum posui, et multo honestiores cenabant." Potantibus ergo nobis et accuratissime lautitias mi- rantibus larvam argenteam attulit servus sic aptatam, ut articuli eius vertebraeque luxatae in omnem partem flecterentur. Hane cum super mensam semel iterum- que abiecisset, et catenatio mobilis aliquot figuras ex- primeret, Trimalchio adiecit:

Eheu nos miseros, quam totus homuncio nil est. Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet Orcus. Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse bene." S5 Laudationem ferculum est insecutum plane non pro expectatione magnum; novitas tamen omnium con- vertit oculos. Rotundum enim repositorium duodecim habebat signa in orbe disposita, super quae proprium convenientemque materiae structor imposuerat cibum : super arietem cicer arietinum^ super taurum bubulae frustum, super geminos testiculos ac rienes, super can- crum coronam, super leonem ficum Africanam, super virginem steriliculam, super libram stateram in cuius H altera parte scriblita erat, in altera placenta, | super HL scorpionem pisciculum marinum, | super sagittarium oclopetam, super capricornum locustam marinam, super aquarium anserem, super pisces duos mullos. In medio autem caespes cum herbis excisus favum sustinebat. Circumferebat Aegyptius puer clibano argenteo panem. . . .

Atque ipse etiam taeterrima voce de J-*serpiciario 52

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Opimius's year. I produced some inferior stuff yester- day, and there was a much finer set of people to dinner." As we drank and admired each luxury in detail, a slave brought in a silver skeleton, made so that its limbs and spine could be moved and bent in every direction. He put it down once or twice on the table so that the supple joints showed several attitudes, and Trimalchio said appropriately: Alas for us poor mortals, all that poor man is is nothing. So we shall all be, after the world below takes us away. Let us live then while it goes well with us."

After we had praised this outburst a dish followed, 35 not at all of the size we expected; but its novelty drew every eye to it There was a round plate with the twelve signs of the Zodiac set in order, and on each one the artist had laid some food fit and proper to the symbol ; over the Ram ram's-head pease, a piece of beef on the Bull, kidneys over the Twins, over the Crab a crown, an African fig over the Lion, a barren sow's paunch over Virgo, over Libra a pair of scales with a muffin on one side and a cake on the other, over Scorpio a small sea-fish, over Sagittarius a bull's-eye,^ over Capricornus a lobster, over Aquarius a goose, over Pisces two mullets. In the middle lay a honeycomb on a sod of turf with the green grass on it. An Egj'ptian boy took bread round in a silver chafing-dish. . . .

Trimalchio himself too ground out a tune from the

' The meaning is uncertain. The word is probably derived from oculus, "an eye, and petere, "to seek. See Lewis and Short s.v. ocUferius.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

mimo canticum extorsit. Nos ut tristiores ad tam

36 viles accessimus cibos, Suadeo" inquit Trimalchio

cenemus; hoc est ius cenae." Haec ut dixit, ad symphoniam quattuor tripudiantes procurrerunt su- perioremque partem repositorii abstulerunt. Quo facto videmus infra [scilicet in altero ferculo] altilia et sumina leporemque in medio pinnis subornatum, ut Pegasus videretur. Notavimus etiam circa angulos repositorii Marsyas quattuor, ex quorum utriculis garum piperatum currebat super pisces, qui tanquam in euripo natabant. Damus omnes plausum a familia inceptum et res electissimas ridentes aggredimur. Non minus et Trimalchio eiusmodi. methodio laetus

Carpe" inquit. Processit statim scissor et ad sym- phoniam gesticulatus ita laceravit obsonium, ut putares essedarium hydraule cantante pugnare. Ingerebat ni- hilo minus Trimalchio lentissima voce : Carpe, Carpe." Ego suspicatus ad aliquam urbanitatem totiens itera^ tam vocem pertinere, non erubui eum qui supra me accumbebat, hoc ipsum interrogare. At ille, qui saepius eiusmodi ludos spectaverat, Vides ilium" inquit qui obsonium carpit : Carpus vocatur. Itaque quotiescunque dicit Carpe,' eodem verbo et vocat et imperat."

37 Non potui amplius quicquam gustare, sed con versus ad eum, ut quam plurima exciperem, longe accersere fabulas coepi sciscitarique, quae esset mulier ilia, quae hue atque illuc discurreret. Uxor" inquit Trimal- chionis, Fortunata appellatur, quae nummos modio

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musical comedy " Assafoetida " in a most hideous voice. We came to such an evil entertainment rather de- pressed. "Now," said Trimalchio, let us have 36 dinner. This is sauce for the dinner." As he spoke, four dancers ran up in time with the music and took off the top part of the dish. Tlien we saw in the well of it fat fowls and sow's bellies, and in the middle a hare got up with A\ings to look like Pegasus. Four figures of Marsyas at the comers of the dish also caught the eye ; they let a spiced sauce run from their wine-skins over the fishes, which swam about in a kind of tide-race. We all took up the clapping which the slaves started, and attacked these delicacies with hearty laughter. Trimalchio was delighted -«vith the trick he had played us, and said. Now, Carver." The man came up at once, and making flourishes in time with the music pulled the dish to pieces ; you would liave said that a gladiator in a chariot was fighting to the accompaniment of a water-organ. Still Trimalchio kept on in a soft voice. Oh, Cancer, Carver." I thought this word over and over again must be part of a joke, and I made bold to ask the man who sat next me this very question. He had seen performances of this kind more often. You see the fellow who is car\ing his way through the meat? Well, his name is Carver. So whenever Trimalchio says the word, you have his name, and he has his orders." ^

I was now unable to eat any more, so I turned to 37 my neighbour to get as much news as possible. I began to seek for far-fetched stories, and to inquire who the woman was who kept running about every- where. She is Trimalchio's wife Fortunata," he said,

' Trimalchio's pan on his servant's name is expressed in Lowe's translation by "Carver, carve 'er."

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER metitur. Et modo, modo quid fuit? Ignoscet mihi genius tuus, noluisses de manu illius panem accipere. Nunc, nee quid nee quare, in caelum abiit et Trimal- chionis topanta^ est. Ad summam, mero meridie si

H dixerit illi tenebras esse, credet. | Ipse nescit quid habeat, adeo saplutus ^ est ; sed haec lupatria providet omnia et ubi non putes. Est sicca, sobria, bonorum consiliorum [tantum auri vides], est tamen malae lin- guae, pica pulvinaris. Quern amat, amat; quem non amat, non amat. Ipse Trimalchio fundos habet, qua milvi volant, nummorum nummos. Argentum in ostiarii illius cella plus iacet, quam quisquam in for- tunis habet. Familia vero babae babae,^ non melier- cules puto decumam partem esse quae dominum suum

88 noverit. Ad summam, quemvis ex istis babaecalis in rutae folium coniciet. Nee est quod putes ilium quic- quam emere. Omnia domi nascuntur : lana, credrae, piper, lacte gallinaceum si quaesieris, invenies. Ad

' Topanta is colloquial for the Greek to, iravra " all." '^Saplutus is the Greek ^dirXovros '■'■very rich.^'

' Babae babae is an exclamation of surprise. So babaecalis in the next sentence is a person always agape with wonder, a lout. 56

SATYRICON

and she counts her money by the bushel. And what was she a little while ago? You will pardon me if I say that you would not have taken a piece of bread from her hand. Now without why or wherefore she is queen of Heaven, and Trimalehio's all in all. In fact, if she teUs him that it is dark at high noon, he will believe it. He is so enormously rich that he does not know himself what he has ; but this lynx-eyed woman has a plan for everything, even where you would not think it. She is temperate, sober, and prudent, but she has a nasty tongue, and henpecks him on his own sofa.^ WTiom she likes, she likes; whom she dislikes, she dislikes. Trimalchio has estates wherever a kite can fly in a day, is millionaire of millionaires. There is more plate lying in his steward's room than other people have in their whole fortunes. And his slaves ! My word ! I really don't believe that one out of ten of them knows his master by sight. Why, he can knock any of these joung louts into a nettle-bed" if he chooses. 38 You must not suppose either that he buys anything. Everything is home-grown : wool, citrons, pepper ; you can have cock's milk for the asking. Why, his wool

'The phrase means literally "a magpie belonging to a sofa," and clearly refers to domestic tyranny.

2/n rutae folium coniciet. Literally "will throw into a rue- leaf." Rutae folium is said by Friedlander to be a proverbial expression for a small space. He refers to Martial XI, 31. The phrase occurs again in c. 58.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

summam, parum illi bona lana nascebatur; arietes a Tarento emit, et eos culavit in gregem. Mel Atticum ut domi nasceretur, apes ab Athenis iussit afFerri; obiter et vemaculae quae sunt, meliusculae a Grae- culis fient. Ecce intra hos dies seripsit, ut illi ex India semen boletorum mitteretur. Nam mulam quidem nullam habet, quae non ex onagro nata sit. Vides tot culcitras : nulla non aut conchyliatum aut coccineum tomentum habet. Tanta est animi beati- tude. Reliquos autem collibertos eius cave contem- nas. Valde sueossi sunt. Vides ilium qui in imo imus recumbit: hodie sua octingenta possidet. De nihilo crevit. Modo solebat coUo suo ligna portare. Sed quomodo dicunt — ego nihil scio, sed audivi — quom^ Incuboni pilleum rapuisset, [et] thesaurum in- venit. Ego nemini invideo, si quid ^ deus dedit. Est tamen sub alapa et non vult sibi male. Itaque proxime casam ^ hoc titulo proscripsit : C. Pompeius Diogenes ex kalendis luliis cenaculum locat ; ipse enim domum emit.' Quid ille qui libertini loco iacet, quam bene se habuit. Non impropero illi. Sestertium suum vidit decies, sed male vacillavit. Non puto ilium

' quom Buecheler : quomodo. ^quid Buecheler : quo. 'casam Buecheler: cum. 58

SATYRICON

was not growing of fine enough quality. He bought rams from Tarentum and sent them into his flocks ■with a smack behind. He had bees brought from Athens to give him Attic honey on the premises ; the Roman-bom bees incidentally vrill be improved by the Greeks. Within the last few days, I may say, he has written for a cargo of mushroom spawn from India. And he has not got a single mule which is not the child of a wild ass. You see all the cushions here : every one has purple or scarlet stuffing. So high is his felicity. But do not look down on the other freed- men who are his friends. They are very juicy people. That one you see Ij'ing at the bottom of the end sofa has his eight hundred thousand. He was quite a nobody. A little time ago he was carrying loads of wood on his back. People do say — I know nothing, but I have heard — that he pulled oflP a goblin's cap and found a fairy hoard. ^ If God makes presents I am jealous of nobody. Still, he shows the marks of his master's fingers," and has a fine opinion of himself. So he has just put up a notice on his hovel : This attic, the property of Caius Pompeius Diogenes, to let from the 1 st of July, the owner having purchased a house.* That person there too who is lying in the freedman's place' is well pleased with himself. I do not blame him. He had his million in his hands, but he has had a bad shaking. I believe he cannot call

' Incubo was a g^obPn who guarded hid treasure. If one stole his cap, he was compelled to reveal the treasure.

'On setting a slave free the master gave him a slap as a symbol of his former power over him.

' Apparently a recognized place at table was assigned to a freedman invited to dine >*ith free men. Its position is not known.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

capillos liberos habere, nee mehereules sua culpa; ipso enim homo meHor non est; sed Hberti scelerati, qui omnia ad se fecerunt. Scito autem: sociorum olla male fervet, et ubi semel res inclinata est, amici de medio. Et quam honestam negotiationem exercuit, quod ilium sic vides. Libitinarius fuit. Solebat sic cenare, quomodo rex : apros gausapatos, opera pistoria, avis, cocos, pistores. Plus vini sub mensa effunde- batur, quam aliquis in cella habet. Phantasia, non homo. Inclinatis quoque rebus suis, cum timeret ne creditores ilium conturbare existimarent, hoc titulo auctionem proscripsit : C. lulius Proculus auctionem faciet rerum supervacuarum." 39 Interpellavit tam dulces fabulas Trimalchio ; nam iam sublatum erat ferculum, hilaresque convivae vino sermonibusque publicatis operam coeperant dare. Is ergo reclinatus in cubitum Hoc vinum " inquit vos oportet suave faciatis. Pisces natare oportet. Rogo, me putatis ilia cena esse contentum, quam in theca repositorii videratis ? Sic notus Vlixes ? ' quid ergo est ? Oportet etiam inter cenandum philologiam nosse. Patrono meo ossa bene quiescant, qui me hominem inter homines voluit esse. Nam mihi nihil novi potest afferri, sicut ille fericulus iam^ habuit praxim. Caelus hie, in quo duodecim dii habitant, in totidem se figuras convertit, et modo fit aries. Itaque quisquis nascitur illo signo, multa pecora habet, multum lanae, caput ^ fericulus iam Buecheler : fericulusta mel.

SATYRICON

his hair his own. No fault of his I am sure ; there is no better fellow alive ; but it is the damned freed- men who have pocketed everything. You know how it is: the company's pot goes off the boil, and the moment business takes a bad turn your friends desert you. You see him in this state : and what a fine trade he drove ! He was an undertaker. He used to dine like a prince : boars cooked in a cloth, 'wonderful sweet things, game, chefs and confectioners! There used to be more wine spilt under the table than many a man has in his cellars. He was a fairy prince, not a mortal. When his business was failing, and he was afraid his creditors might guess that he was going bankrupt, he advertised a sale in this fashion : Caius Julius Proculus will offer for sale some articles for which he has no further use."

Trimalchio interrupted these delightful tales ; the 39 meat had now been removed, and the cheerful company began to turn their attention to the wine, and to general conversation. He lay back on his couch and said : Now you must make this wine go down pleasantly. A fish must have something to swim in. But I say, did you suppose I would put up with the dinner you saw on the top part of that round dish — Is this the old Ulysses whom ye knew ? " ^ — well, well, one must not forget one's culture even at dinner. God rest the bones of my patron; he wanted me to be a man among men. No one can bring me anything new, as that last dish proved. The firmament where the twelve gods inhabit turns into as many figures, and at one time becomes a ram. So anyone who is born under that sign has plenty of flocks and wool,

• See Virgil, ^neid, n, 44.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

praeterea durum, frontem expudoratam, cornum acu- tum. Plurimi hoc signo scholastic! nascuntur et arie- tilli."^ Laudamus urbanitatem mathematici ; itaque adiecit : deinde totus caelus taurulus fit. Itaque tunc calcitrosi nascuntur et bubulci et qui se ipsi pascunt. «In geminis autem nascuntur bigae et boves et colei et qui utrosque parietes linunt. In cancro ego natus sum. Ideo multis pedibus sto, et in mari et in terra multa possideo ; nam cancer et hoc et illoc quadrat. Et ideo iam dudum nihil super ilium posui, ne genesim meam premerem. In leone cataphagae nascuntur et imperiosi ; in virgine mulieres et fugitivi et compediti ; in libra laniones et unguentarii et qui- cunque aliquid expediunt ; in scorpione venenarii et percussores ; in sagittario strabones, quiholeraspectant, lardum tollunt ; in capricomo aerumnosi, quibus prae mala sua cornua nascuntur ; in aquario copones et cu- curbitae; in piscibus obsonatores et rhetores. Sic orbis vertitur tanquam mola, et semper aliquid mali facit, ut homines aut nascantur aut pereant. Quod autem in medio caespitem videtis et supra caespitem favum, nihil sine ratione facio. terra mater est in medio quasi ovum corrotundata, et omnia bona in se habet tanquam favus." 40 "Sophos" universi clamamus et sublatis manibus ad cameram iuramus Hipparchum Aratumque com-

arietilli Heinsius : arieti illi.

SATYRICON

a hard head and a brazen forehead and sharp horns. Very many pedants and young rams are born under this sign." We applauded the elegance of his astrology, and so he went on : "'Then the whole sky changes into a young bull. So men who are free with their heels are bom now, and oxherds and people who have to find their own food. Under the Twins tandems are bom, and oxen, and debauchees, and those who sit on both sides of the fence. ^ I was born under the Crab. So I have many legs to stand on, and many possessions by sea and land ; for either one or the other suits j'our crab. And that was why just now I put nothing on top of the Crab, for fear of weighing down the house of my birth. Under the Lion gluttons and masterful men are bom; under \'irgo women, and runaway slaves, and chained gangs; under Libra butchers, and perfumers, and generally people who put things to rights ; poisoners and assassins under Scorpio ; under Sagittarius cross-eyed men, who take the bacon while they look at the vegetables ; under Capricomus the poor folk whose troubles make horns sprout on them ; under Aquarius inn- keepers and men with water on the brain ; under Pisces chefs and rhetoricians. So the world turns like a mill, and always brings some evil to pass, causing the birth of men or their death. You saw the green turf in the middle of the dish, and the honej'comb on the turf; I do nothing without a reason. Mother Earth lies in the world's midst rounded like an egg, and in her all blessings are contained as in a honey- comb."

Bravo I" we all cried, swearing with our hands 40 lifted to the ceiling that Hipparchus and Aratus

Literally "those who bedaub walls on both sides," i.e.

those who " hedge " in fight or friendship.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

parandos illi homines non fuisse^ donee advenerunt ministri ac toralia praeposuerunt toris^ in quibus retia erant picta subsessoresque cum venabulis at totus venationis apparatus. Necdum sciebamus, quo mittere- mus suspiciones nostras, cum extra triclinium clamor sublatus est ingens, et ecce canes Laconici etiam circa mensam discurrere coeperunt. Secutum est hos re- positorium, in quo positus erat primae magnitudinis aper, et quidem pilleatus, e cuius dentibus sportellae dependebant duae palmulis textae, altera caryotis altera thebaicis repleta. Circa autem minores porcelli ex coptoplacentis facti, quasi uberibus imminerent, scrofam esse positam significabant. Et hi quidem apophoreti fuerunt. Ceterum ad scindendum aprum non ille Carpus accessit, qui altilia laceraverat, sed barbatus ingens, fasciis cruralibus alligatus et alicula subornatus polymita, strictoque venatorio cultro latus apri vehementer percussit, ex cuius plaga turdi evo- laverunt. Parati aucupes cum harundinibus fuerunt et eos circa triclinium volitantes momento exceperunt. Inde cum suum cuique iussisset referri Trimalchio, adiecit : Etiam videte, quam porcus ille silvaticus lotam^ comederit glandem." Statim pueri ad sportellas accesserunt, quae pendebant e dentibus, thebaicasque et caryotas ad numerum divisere cenantibus. 4-1 Interim ego, qui privatum habebam secessum, in multas cogitationes deductus sum, quare aper pilleatus intrasset. Postquam itaque omnis bacalusias consumpsi,

' lotam Muncker : totam. 64

SATYRICON

were not to be compared with him, until the servants came and spread over the couches coverlets painted with nets, and men lying in wait with hunting spears, and all the instruments of the chase. We were still wondering where to turn our expectations, when a great shout was raised outside the dining-room, and in came some Spartan hounds too, and began run- ning round the table. A tray was brought in after them with a wild boar of the largest size upon it, wearing a cap of freedom, with two little baskets woven of palm-twigs hanging from his tusks, one full of dry dates and the other of fresh. Round it lay sucking- pigs made of simnel cake with their mouths to the teats, thereby showing that we had a sow before us. These suckJng-pigs were for the guests to take away. Carver, who had mangled the fowls, did not come to divide the boar, but a big bearded man with bands wound round his legs, and a spangled hunting-coat of damasked silk, who drew a hunting-knife and plunged it hard into the boar's side. A number of thrushes flew out at the blow. As they fluttered round the dining-room there were fowlers ready A\'ith limed twigs who caught fliem in a moment. Trimalchio ordered everj'body to be given his own portion, and added : Now you see what fine acorns the woodland boar has been eating." Then boys came and took the baskets which hung from her jaws and distributed fresh and dry dates to the guests.

Meantime I had got a quiet comer to myself, and had 41 gone off on a long train of speculation, — why the pig had come in with a cap of freedom on. After turning the problem over every way^ I ventured to put the

^ Bacalusias may be derived from baceolus (Gk ^ktjXoj) a blockhead, and ludcre, hence meaning perhaps " every kind of foolish explanation of the riddle."

F 65

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

duravi interrogare ilium interpretem meum, quod ^ me torqueret. At ille : Plane etiam hoc servus tuus indi- care potest; non enim aenigma est, sed res aperta. Hie aper,cuinheri summacenaeum^ vindicasset, a convivis dimissus est ; itaque hodie tanquam libertus in convi- vium revertitur," Damnavi ego stuporem meum et nihil amplius interrogavi, ne viderer nunquam inter honestos cenasse.

Dum haec loquimur, puer speciosus, vitibus hederis- que redimitus, modo Bromium, interdum Lyaeum Euhiumque confessus, calathisco uvas circumtulit et poemata domini sui acutissima voce traduxit. Ad quem sonum conversus Trimalchio Dionyse " inquit liber esto." Puer detraxit pUleum apro capitique suo imposuit. Turn Trimalchio rursus adiecit : Non negabitis me" inquit habere Liberum patrem." Laudavimus dictum Trimalchionis et circumeuntem puerum sane perbasiamus.

Ab hoc ferculo Trimalchio ad lasanum surrexit. Nos libertatem sine tyranno nacti coepimus invitare convivarum sermones. Dama ^ itaque primus cum pata- racina poposcisset, Diei " inquit nihil est. Dum versas te, nox fit. Itaque nihil est melius, quam de cubiculo recta in triclinium ire. Et mundum frigus habuimus. Vix me balneus calfecit. Tamen calda potio vestiarius est. Staminatas duxi, et plane matus sum. Vinus mihi in cerebrum abiit."

'quod Buecheler: quid, 'cena eum Buecheler : cenara. ' Danias Heinsius: clamat,

SATYRICON

question which was troubling me to my old informant. Your humble servant can explain that too ; " he said, " there is no riddle, the thing is quite plain. Yesterday when this animal appeared as piece de resistance at dinner, the guests dismissed him ; and so to-day he comes back to dinner as a freedman." I cursed my dullness and asked no more questions, for fear of showing that I had never dined among decent people.

As we were speaking, a beautiful boy with vine- leaves and ivy in his hair brought round grapes in a little basket, impersonating Bacchus in ecstasy, Bacchus full of wine, Bacchus dreaming, and rendering his master's verses in a most shrill voice. Trimalchio turned round at the noise and said, Dionysus, rise and be free." The boy took the cap of fi*eedom off the boar, and put it on his head. Then Trimalchio went on :

I am sure you will agree that the god of liberation \s my father."^ We applauded Trimalchio's phrase, and kissed the boy heartily as he went round.

After this dish Trimalchio got up and retired. With the tyrant away we had our freedom, and we began to draw the conversation of our neighbours. Dama began after calling for bumpers : * Day is nothing. Night is on you before you can turn round. Then there is no better plan than going straight out of bed to dinner. It is precious cold. I could scarcely get warm in a bath. But a hot drink is as good as an overcoat. I have taken some deep drinks' and I am quite soaked. The wine has gone to my head."

^ The name of the god Liber was fancifully derived from the fact that wine frees men from cares. Trimalchio, who confers freedom upon slaves, therefore takes him as his patron or father.

' Staminatas means a draught of unmixed wine. The word is variously derived f'-om the Greek ffrdfivoi or the Latin stamen.

f2 67

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

42 . Excepit Seleucus fabulae partem et Ego " inquit

non cotidie lavor ; baliscus enim fuUo est, aqua dentes habetj et cor nostrum cotidie liquescit. Sed cum mulsi pultarium obduxi, frigori laecasin dice. Nee sane lavare potui ; fui enim hodie in funus. Homo bell us, tarn bonus Chrysanthus animam ebuUiit. Modo, modo me appellavit. Videor mihi cum illo loqui. Heu, eheu. Utres inflati ambulamus. Mino- ris quam muscae sumus, muscae tamen aliquam vir- tutem habent, nos non pluris sumus quam bullae. Et quid si non abstinax fuisset. Quinque dies aquam in OS suum non coniecit, non micam panis. Tamen abiit ad plures. Medici ilium perdiderunt, immo magis malus fatus ; medicus enim nihil aliud est quam animi consolatio. Tamen bene elatus est, vitali lecto, stragulis bonis. Planctus est optime — manu misit aliquot — etiam si maligne ilium ploravit uxor. Quid si non illam optime accepisset. Sed mulier quae mulier milvinum genus. Neminem nihil boni facere oportet ; aeque est enim ac si in puteum conicias. Sed antiquus amor cancer est."

43 Molestus fuit, Philerosque proclamavit : Vivorum meminerimus. lUe habet, quod sibi debebatur : honeste vixit, honeste obiit. Quid habet quod que- ratur ? Ab asse crevit et paratus fuit quadrantem de stercore mordicus tollere. Itaque crevit, quicquid crevit, tanquam favus. Puto mehercules ilium reliquisse

SATYRICON

Seleucus took up the tale and said : I do not wash 42 every day ; the bathman pulls you to pieces like a fuller, the water bites, and the heart of man melts away daily. But when I have put down some draughts of mead I let the cold go to the devil. ^ Besides, I could not wash ; I was at a funeral to-day. A fine fellow, the excellent Chrysanthus, has breathed his last. It was but the other day he greeted me. I feel as if I were speaking with him now. Dear, dear, how we bladders of wind strut about. We are meaner than flies ; flies have their virtues, we are nothing but bubbles. And what Avould have happened if he had not tried the fasting cure ? No water touched his lips for five days, not a morsel of bread. Yet he went over to the majority. The doctors killed him — no, it was his unhappy destiny ; a doctor is nothing but a sop to conscience. Still, he was carried out in fine style on a bier covered with a good pall. The mourning was very good too — he had freed a number of slaves — even though his own wife was very grudging over her tears. I daresay he did not treat her particularly kindlj'. But women one and all are a set of vultures. It is no use doing anyone a kindness; it is all the same as if you put your kindness in a well. But an old love pinches like a crab."

He was a bore, and Phileros shouted out : Oh, let 43 us remember the living. He has got his deserts ; he lived decently and died decently. WTiat has he got to grumble at? He started with twopence, and he was always ready to pick a halfpenny out of the dirt wth his teeth. So he grew and grew like a honey- comb. Upon my word, I believe he left a clear hundred

Laecasin is from the Greek Xetx<if"i', ha-tin/el/are, sensu

obsceno.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

aolida centum, et omnia in nummis habuit. De re tamen ego verum dicam, qui linguam caninam comedi : durae buccae fuit, linguosus, discordia, non homo. Frater eius fortis fuit, amicus amico, manu plena, uncta mensa. Et inter initia malam parram pilavit, sed recorrexit costas illius prima vindemia: vendidit enim vinum, quanti^ ipse voluit. Et quod illius mentum sustulit, hereditatem accepit, ex qua plus involavit, quam illi relictum est. Et ille stips, dum fratri suo irascitur, nescio cui terrae filio patrimonium elegavit. Longe fugit, quisquis suos fugit. Habuit autem oricula-

fZL' rios ^ servos, qui ilium pessum dederunt. | Nunquam

L autem recte faciet, qui cito credit, | utique homo

negotians. Tamen verum quod frunitus est, quam diu

vixit, * cui datum est, non cui destinatum.

Plane Fortunae filius, in manu illius plumbum aurum fiebat. Facile est autem, ubi omnia quadrata currunt. Et quot putas ilium annos secum tulisse ? Septuaginta et supra. Sed corneolus fuit, aetatem bene ferebat, niger tanquam corvus. Noveram hominem olim olio- rum et adhuc salax erat. Non mehercules ilium puto in domo canem reliquisse. Immo etiam pullarius ^ erat, omnis minervae homo. Nee improbo, hoc solum enim secum tulit."

44 Haec Phileros dixit, ilia Ganymedes: 'narratis

quod nee ad caelum nee ad terram pertinet, cum

interim nemo curat, quid annona mordet. Non me-

' plena uncta Heinsius : uncta plena.

^quanti Scheffer: quantum.

^ oricularios Reinesius : oracularios.

Some words suck as bene vixit have clearly dropped out.

' pullarius Burmann : peullarius

SATYRICON

thousand, and all in hard cash. Still, I have eaten the dog's tongue, I must speak the truth. He had a rough mouth, and talked continually, and was more of a discord than a man. His brother was a fine fellow, stood by his friends, open-handed and kept a good table. To begin with, he caught a Tartar:^ but his first vintage set him on his feet :• he used to get any price he asked for his \\ine. And what made him hold up his head was that he came into an estate out of which he got more than had been left to him. And that blockhead, in a fit of passion with his brother, left the family property away to some nobody or other. He that flies from his own family has far to travel. But he had some eaves-dropping slaves who did for him. A man who is always ready to believe what is told him will never do well, especially a business man. Still no doubt he enjoyed himself every day of his life. Blessed is he who gets the gift, not he for whom it is meant. He was a real Fortune's darling, lead turned gold in his hands. Yes, it is easy when everything goes fair and square. And how many years do you think he had on his shoulders? Seventy and more. But he was a tough old thing, carried his age well, as black as a crow. I had known him world without end, and he was still merry. I really do not think he spared a single creature in his house. No, he was still a gay one, ready for anj-thing. Well, I do not blame him : it is only his past pleasures he can take with him."

So said Phileros, but GanjTnede broke in : " You go 44 talking about things which are neither in heaven nor earth, and none of you care all the time how the price of food pinches. I swear I cannot get hold

' Literally " he plucked a bad mag^pie." The magpie was considered a bird of ill omen : Horace, Odes iti, 27.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

hercules hodie buccam panis invenire potui. Et quo-

modo siccitas perseverat. lam annum esuritio fuit.

Aediles male eveniat, qui cum pistoribus colludunt

Serva me, servabo te. ' Itaque populus minutus

laborat; nam isti maiores maxillae semper Saturnalia

agunt. O si haberemus illos leones, quos ego hie inveni,

cum primum ex Asia veni. Illud erat vivere. Simila

si siligine inferior esset/ laruas sic istos percolopa-

bant, ut illis lupiter iratus esset. [Sed] memini Safi-

nium : tunc habitabat ad arcum veterem, me puero,

piper, non homo. Is quacunque ibat, terram adurebat

Sed rectus, sed certus, amicus amico, cum quo auda-

cter posses intenebris micare. In curia autem quomodo

singulos [vel] pilabat [tractabat], nee schemas loque-

batur sed derectum.^ Cum ageret porro in foro, sic illius

vox crescebat tanquam tuba. Nee sudavit unquam

nee expuit, puto eum^ nescio quid Asiadis habuisse.

Et quam benignus resalutare, nomina omnium reddere,

tanquam unus de nobis. Itaque illo tempore anno-

na pro luto erat. Asse panem quem emisses, non

potuisses cum altera devorare. Nunc oculum bublum

vidi maiorem. Heu heu, quotidie peius. Haec colonia

retroversus crescit tanquam coda vituli. Sed quare nos *

habemus aedilem trium cauniarum, qui sibi mavult

assem quam vitam nostram? Itaque domi gaudet, plus

in die nummorum accipit, quam alter patrimonium

' Simila si siligine inferior esset Buecheler : similia sicilia interiores et.

- derectum A'^/s^^ .• dilectum. ^eura Tilebomenns : enim.

nos Tilebomenus : non.

SATYRICON

of ? mouthful of bread to-day. And how the drought goes on. There has been a famine for a whole year now. Damn the magistrates, who play Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours,' in league with the bakers. So the little people come off badly; for the jaws of the upper classes are always keeping carnival. I do wish we had the bucks I found here when I first came out of Asia. That was hfe. If the flour was any but the finest, they beat those vampires into a jelly, until they put the fear of God into them. I remember Safinius : he used to live then by the old arch when I was a boy. He was more of a mustard-pot than a man : used to scorch the ground wherever he trod. Still he was straight; you could trust him, a true friend: j'ou would not be afraid to play at morra^ with him in the dark. How he used to dress them down in the senate- house, every one of them, never using roundabout phrases, making a straightforward attack. And when he was pleading in the courts, his voice used to swell like a trumpet. Never anj' sweating or spitting : I imagine he had a touch of the Asiatic style. And how kindly he returned one's greeting, calling every one by name quite like one of ourselves. So at that time food was dirt-cheap. You could buy a larger loaf for twopence than you and your better half together could get through. One sees a bun bigger now. Lord, things are worse everyday. This town goes downhill liketlie calf s tail. But why do we put up with a magistrate not worth three pepper-corns, who cares more about putting two- pence in his purse than keeping us alive? He sits grinning at home, and pockets more money a day than

' In the game Morra one party held up a number of fing^ers and the other had to guess what the number was. A man who could play it in the dark would be a miracle.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

habet. lam scio, unde acceperit denarios mille aureos. Sed si nos coleos haberemus, non tan turn sibi placeret. Nunc populus est domi leones, foras vulpes. Quod ad me attinet, iam pannos meos comedij et si perseverat haee annona, casulas meas vendam. Quid enim fu- turum est, si nee dii nee homines huius coloniae miserentur? Ita meos fruniscarj ut ego puto omnia

HL ilia a diibus fieri. | Nemo enim caelum caelum putat, nemo ieiunium servat, nemo lovem pili facit, sed H omnes opertis oculis bona sua computant. | Antea stolatae ibant nudis pedibus in clivum, passis capillis, mentibus puris, et lovem aquam exorabant. Itaque statim urceatim plovebat : aut tunc ant nunquam : et omnes redibant udi " tanquam mures. Itaque dii pedey lanatos habent, quia nos religiosi non sumus. Agri iacent" —

45 Orote"inquitEchion centonarius melius loquere.

Modo sic, modo sic ' inquit rusticus ; varium porcum

HL perdiderat. | Quod hodie non est, eras erit: sic vita

H tvuditur. I Non mehercules patria melior dici potest,

si homines haberet. Sed laborat hoc tempore, nee

haec sola. Non debemus delicati esse, ubique medius

caelus est. Tu si aliubi fueris, dices hie porcos coctos

ambulare. Et ecce habituri sumus munus excellente

in triduo die festa; familia non lanisticia, sed plurimi

liberti. Et Titus noster magnum animum habet et est

caldicerebrius : aut hoc aut illud erit, quid^ utique.

'a diibus Buecheler: aedilibus.

^ redL\ha.ni Jacobs : ridebant \xd\ Triller: ut dii.

' quid Heinsius : quod.

SATYRICON

other people have for a fortune. I happen to know where he came by a thousand in gold. If we had any spunk in us he would not be so pleased with himself. Nowadays people are lions in their own houses, and foxes out of doors. I have already eaten my rags, and if these prices keep up, I shall have to sell my cot- tages. Whatever is to happen if neither the gods nor man will take pity on this town ? As I hope to have joy of my children, I believe all these things come from Heaven. For no one now believes that the gods are gods. There is no fasting done, no one cares a button for religion : they all shut their eyes and count their own goods. In old days the mothers in their best robes used to climb the hill with bare feet and loose hair, pure in spirit, and pray Jupiter to send rain. Then it used promptly to rain by the bucket : it was now or never : and they all came home, wet as drowned rats. As it is, the gods are gouty in the feet because we are sceptics. So our fields lie baking — "

Oh, don't be so gloomy," said Echion, the old 45 clothes dealer. There's ups and there's downs,' as the country bumpkin said when he lost his spotted pig. What is not to-day, will be to-morrow: so we trudge through life. I engage you could not name a better country to call one's own, if only the men in it had sense. It has its troubles now like others. We must not be too particular when there is a sky above us all. If you were anywhere else, you would say that roast pork walked in the streets here. Just think, we are soon to be given a superb spectacle lasting three days ; not simply a troupe of professional gladiators, but a large number of them freedmen. And our good Titus has a big imagination and is hot-blooded: it will be one thing or another, something real anyway. I know him

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Nam illi domesticus sum, non est miscix. Ferrum optimum daturus est, sine fuga, carnarium in medio, ut amphitheater videat. Et habet unde : relictum est illi sestertium tricenties, decessit illius pater male. Ut quadringenta impendat, non sentiet patrimonium illius, et sempiterno nominabitur. lam Manios aliquot habet et mulierera essedariam et dispensatorem Gly- conis, qui deprehensus est, cum dominam suam dele- ctaretur. Videbis populi rixam inter zelotypos et amasiunculos. Glyco autem, sestertiarius homo, dis- pensatorem ad bestias dedit. Hoc est se ipsum tra- ducere. Quid servus peccavit, qui coactus est facere ? Magis ilia matella digna fuit quam taurus iactaret. Sed qui asinum non potest, stratum caedit. Quid autem Glyco putabat Hermogenis filicem unquam bonum exitum facturam? Ille milvo volanti poterat ungues resecare ; colubra restem non parit. Glyco, Glyco dedit suas ; itaque quamdiu vixerit, habebit sti- gmam, nee illam nisi Orcus delebit. Sed sibi quisque peccat. Sed subolfacio, quod nobis epulum daturus est Mammaea, binos denai'ios mihi et meis. Quod si hoc fecerit, eripiat Norbano totum favorem. Scias oportet plenis velis hunc vinciturum. Et revera, quid ille nobis boni fecit? Dedit gladiatores sestertiarios iam decrepitos, quos si sufflasses, cecidissent; iam meliores bestiarios vidi. Occidit de lucerna equites, 76

SATi'RICON

very well, and he is all against half-measures. He will give you the finest blades, no running away, but- chery done in the middle, where the whole audience can see it. And he has the wherewithal; he came into thirtj' million when his father came to grief. If he spends four hundred thousand, his estate ^^•^ll never feel it, and his name will live for ever. He has already collected some cIo^^tis, and a woman to fight from a chariot, and Glyco's steward, who was caught amusing Glyco's wife. You will see the crowd quarrel, jealous husbands against gallants. A twopenny half- penny fellow like Glj'co goes throwing his steward to the beasts. He only gives himself awaj'. It is not the slave's fault; he had to do as he was told. That filthy wife of his rather deserved to be tossed by the bull. But a man who cannot beat his donkey, beats the saddle. How did Glyco suppose that a sprig of Hermogenes's sowing would ever come to a good end ? He was one for paring the claws of a kite on the wing, and you do not gather figs from thistles.^ Glj'co? why, Glyco has given away his own flesh and blood. He will be branded as long as he lives, and nothing but death will -vripe it out. But a man must have his faults. My nose prophesies a good meal from Mammaea, twopence each for me and mine. If he does, he will put Norbanus" quite in the shade. You know he will beat him hands down. After all, •what has Norbanus ever done for us? He produced some decayed twopenny-halfpenny gladiators, who would have fallen flat if you breathed on them ; I have seen better ruffians turned in to fight the wild beasts. He shed the blood of some mounted infantry that might

Literally " a viper does not bring forth a rope."

'A prosperous lawyer; see c. 46.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

putares eos gallos gallinaceos; alter burdubasta, alter loripeSj tertiarius mortuus pro mortuo, qui habebat nervia praecisa. Unus alicuius flaturae fuit Thraex, qui et ipse ad dictata pugnavit. Ad summam, omnes postea secti sunt; adeo de magna turba adhibete' acceperant, plane fugae merae. Munus tamen ' inquit tibi dedi': et ego tibi plodo. Oomputa, et tibi plus do quam accepi. Manus manum lavat. Videris mihi, i6 Agamemnon, dicere : ' Quid iste argutat molestus ? ' quia tu, qui potes loquere, non loquis.^ Non es nostrae fasciae, et ideo pauperorum verba derides. Scimus te prae litteras fatuum esse. Quid ergo est? aliqua die te persuadeam, ut ad villam venias et videas casulas nostras ? Inveniemus quod manducemus, pullum, ova : belle erit, etiam si omnia hoc anno tempestas dispare pallavit : inveniemus ergo unde saturi fiamus. Et iam tibi discipulus crescit cicaro meus. Iam quattuor partis dicit; si vixerit, habebis ad latus servulum. Nam quicquid illi vacat, caput de tabula non tollit. Ingeni- osus est et bono filo, etiam si in aves morbosus est. Ego illi iam tres cardeles occidi, et dixi quod mustella comedit. Invenit tamen alias nenias, et libentissime pingit. Ceterum iam Graeculis calcem impingit et Latinas coepit non male appetere, etiam si magister eius sibi placens fit^ nee uno loco consistit, sed venit,

' habebat Buecheler: habet. " loquis jff ?<rwann .• loqui.

fit Buecheler : sit.

SATYRICON

have come off a lamp ; dunghill cocks you woula have called them : one a sp)avined mule, the other bandy- legged, and the holder of the bye, just one corpse instead of another, and hamstrung. One man, a Thracian, had some stuffing, but he too fought accord- ing to the rule of the schools. In short, they were all flogged afterwards. How the great crowd roared at them. Lay it on ' I They were mere runaways, to be sure, 'still,' says Norbanus, I did give you a treat.' Yes, and I clap my hands at you. Reckon it up, and I give you more than I got. One good turn de- serves another. Now, Agamemnon, you look as if you 46 were sajring. What is this bore chattering for ? ' Only because you have the gift of tongues and do not speak. You do not come off our shelf, and so j'ou make fun of the way we poor men talk. We know you are mad with much learning. But I tell you what ; can I per- suade you to come down to my place some day and see my Uttle property ? We shall find something to eat, a chicken and eggs : it will be delightful, even though the weather this year has made everything grow at the wrong time : we shall find something to fill our- selves up with. My little boy is growing into a follower of yours already. He can do simple division now; if he lives, you will have a little serv^ant at your heels. Whenever he has any spare time, he never hfts his nose from the slate. He is clever, and comes of a good stock, even though he is too fond of birds. I killed three of his goldfinches just lately, and said a weasel had eaten them. But he has found some other hobby, and has taken to painting with great pleasure. He has made a hole in his Greek now, and begins to rehsh Latin finely, even though his master is conceited and will not stick to one thing at a time. The boy comes

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

dem litteras, sed non vult laborare. Est et alter non quidem doctus, sed curiosus, qui plus docet quam scit. Itaque feriatis diebus solet domum venire, et quicquid dederis, contentus est. Emi ergo nunc puero aliquot libra rubricata, quia volo ilium ad domusionem aliquid de iure gustare. Habet haec res panem. Nam litteris satis inquinatus est. Quod si resilient, destinavi ilium artificii docere, aut tonstreinum^ aut praeconem aut certe eausidicum, quod illi auferre non possit nisi Orcus. Ideo illi cotidie clamo: Primigeni, crede mihi, quicquid discis, tibi discis. Vides Phileronem eausidicum : si non didicisset, hodie famem a labris non abigeret. Modo,modo collo suo circumferebat onera ve- nalia, nunc etiam adversus Norbanum se extendit. Lit- terae thesaurum est, et artificium nunquam moritur.' " 47 Eiusmodi fabulae vibrabant, cum Trimalchio intra- vit et detersa fronte unguento manus lavit spatioque minimo interposito Ignoscite mihi" inquit amici, multis iam diebus venter mihi non respondit. Nee medici se inveniunt. Profuit mihi tamen malicorium ^ et taeda ex aceto. Spero tamen, iam veterem^ pudo- rem sibi imponet. Alioquin circa stomachum mihi sonat, putes taurum. Itaque si quis vestrum voluerit sua re [causa]* facere, non est quod ilium pudeatur. Nemo nostrum solide natus est. Ego nullum puto tam magnum tormentum esse quam continere. Hoc so-

^tonstrinum Scheffer: constreinum. ' malicorium Scheffer: maleicorum.

veterem Heinsius : ventrem,

^ causa bracketed by Scheffer.

SATYRICON

asking me to give him some ■WTit±ng to do, though he does not want to work. I have another boy who is no scholar, but very inquiring, and can teach you more than he knows himself. So on holidays he generally comes home, and is quite pleased whatever you give him. I bought the child some books 'svith red-letter headings in them a httle time ago. I want him to have a smack of law in order to manage the property. Law has bread and butter in it. He has dipped quite deep enough into literature. If he is restless, I mean to have him learn a trade, a barber or an auctioneer, or at least a barrister, something that he can carry to the grave with him. So I drum it into him every day : Mark my words, Primigeniiis, whatever you learn, you learn for your own good. Look at Phileros, the barrister : if he had not worked, he would not be keeping the wolf from the door to- day. It is not so long since he used to carry things roimd on his back and sell them, and now he makes a brave show even against Norbanus. Yes, education is a treasure, and culture never dies.' "

Gossip of this kind was in the air, when Trimalchio 47 came in mopping his brow, and washed his hands in scent. After a short pause, he said. You will excuse me, gentlemen? My bowels have not been working for several days. All the doctors are puzzled. Still, I found pomegranate rind useful, and pinewood boiled in vinegar. I hope now my stomach will learn to ob- serve its old decencies. Besides, I have such rumblings inside me you would think there was a bull there. So il any of you gentlemen wishes to retire there is no need to be shy about it. We were none of us bom quite sohd. I cannot imagine any torture like holding one- self in. Tiie one thing Jupiter himself cannot forbid o 81

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

lum vetare ne lovis potest. Rides, Fortunata, quae soles me nocte desomnem facere? Nee tamen in tri- clinio ullum vetuo' facere quod se iuvet, et medici vetant continere. Vel si quid plus venit, omnia foras parata sunt : aqua, lasani et cetera minutalia. Credite mihi, anathymiasis in cerebrum it et in toto corpore fluctum facit. Multos scio sic periisse, dum nolunt sibi verum dieere." Gratias agimus liberalitati indul- gentiaeque eius, et subinde castigamus crebris poti- unculis risum. Nee adhuc sciebamus nos in medio lautitiarum, quod^ aiunt, clivo laborare. Nam cum mundatis ad symphoniam mensis tres albi sues in tri- clinium adducti sunt capistris et tintinnabulis culti, quorum unum bimum nomenculator esse dicebat, alte Tum trimum, tertium vero iam sexennem/ ego putabam petauristarios intrasse et porcos, sicut in circulis mos est, portenta aliqua facturos ; sed Trimalcliio expecta- tione discussa Quem" inquit ex eis vultis in ce- nam statim fieri? gallum enim gallinaceum^ penthi- acum et eiusmodi nenias rustici faciunt: mei coci etiam vitulos aeno coctos solent facere." Continuoque cocum vocari iussit, et non expectata electione nostra maximum natu iussit occidi, et clara voce : Ex quota decuria es?" Cum ille se ex quadragesima respondis- set, ' Empticius an" inquit domi natus?" Neu- trum " inquit cocus sed testamento Pansae tibi relictus sum." ' Vide ergo " ait ut diligenter ponas;

' vetuo Buecheler: vetiii. 'quod Heinsius : quo. 'sexennem Wehl: senem.

SATYRICON

is that we should have relief. Why do you laugh, Fortunata; it is you who are always keeping me awake all night. Of course, as far as I am concerned, anyone may relieve himself in the dining-room. The doctors forbid retention. But if the matter is serious, everything is ready outside : water, towels, and all the other little comforts. Take my word for it, vapours go to the brain and make a disturbance throughout the body. I know many people have died this way, by refusing to admit the truth to themselves." We thanked him for his generosity and kindness, and then tried to suppress our laughter by drinking hard and fast. We did not yet realize that we had only got halfway through the delicacies, and still had an uphill task before us, as they say. The tables were cleared to the sound of music, and three white pigs, adorned with muzzles and bells, were led into the dining-room. One was two years old, the keeper said, the second three, and the other as much as six. I thought some ropewalkers had come in, and that the pigs would perform some wonderful tricks, as they do for crowds in the streets. Trimalchio ended our sus- pense by saying. Now, which of them would you like turned into a dinner this minute ? Any country hand can turn out a fowl or a Pentheus^ hash, or trifles of that kind. My cooks are quite used to ser\ing whole calves done in a cauldron." Then he told them to fetch a cook at once, and without waiting for our opinion ordered the eldest pig to be killed, and said in a loud voice.

Which division of the household do you belong to ? " The man said he came from the fortieth. Were you purchased or born on the estate?" ' Neither; I was left to you under Pansa's will." Well then," said

^Pentheus, king of Thebes, was torn in pieces by the Bacchae. g2 83

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

si non, te iubebo in decuriam viatorum conici." Et 48 cocum quidem potentiae admonitum in culinam obso- nium duxit, Trimalchio autem mihi ad nos v^ultu respexit et Vinum " inquit si non placet, mutabo ; vos illud oportet bonum faciatis. Deorum bene- ficio non emo, sed nunc quicquid ad salivam facit, in suburbano nascitur eo, quod ego adhuc non novi. Dicitur confine esse Tarraciniensibus et Tarentinis. Nunc coniungere agellis Siciliam volo, ut cum Africam libuerit ire, per meos fines navigem. Sed naiTa tu mihi, Agamemnon, quam controversiam hodie declamasti? Ego etiam si causas non ago, in domusionem tamen litteras didici. Et ne me putes studia fastiditum, II ^ bybliothecas habeo, unam Graecam, alteram Lati- nam. Die ergo, si me amas, peristasim declamationis tuae." Cum dixisset Agamemnon: Pauper et dives inimici erant," ait Trimalchio Quid est pauper?"

Urbane " inquit Agamemnon et nescio quam con- troversiam exposuit. Statim Trimalchio Hoc " inquit

si factum est, controversia non est; si factum non est, nihil est." Haec aliaque cum efFusissimis prose- queremur laudationibus, Rogo " inquit Agamemnon mihi carissime, numquid duodecim aerumnas Herculis tenes, aut de Vlixe fabulam, quemadmodum illi Cy- clops pollicem forcipe* extorsit? Solebam haec ego puer apud Homerum legere. Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere,

'etiam Wehl: autem.

domusionem Wehl: divisione.

^11 Tilebomentis : tres.

forcipe Buecheler : poricino.

SATYRICON

Trimalchio, " mind you serve this carefully, or I will have you degraded to the messengers' di\ision." So the cook was reminded of his master's power, and the 48 dish that was to be carried him off to the kitchen. Tri- malchio turned to us with a mild expression and said, " I will change the wine if you do not like it. You will have to give it its virtues. Under God's providence, I do not have to buy it. Anything here which makes your mouths water is grown on a country estate of mine which I know nothing about as yet. I believe it is on the boundary of Terracina and Tarentum. Just now I want to join up all Sicily with properties of mine, so that if I take a fancy to go to Africa I shall travel through my own land. But do tell me, Agamemnon, what declamation^ did you deliver in school to-day? Of course, I do not practise in court mj'self, but I learned literature for domestic purposes. And do not imagine that I despise learn- ing. I have got two libraries, one Greek and one Latin. So give me an outline of your speech, if you love me." Then Agamemnon said : A poor man and a rich man were once at enmity." But what is a poor man?" Trimalchio replied. Very clever," said Agamemnon, and went on expounding some problem or other. Trimalchio at once retorted : If the thing really happened, there is no problem ; if it never hap- pened, it is all nonsense." We followed up this and other sallies with the most extravagant admiration. Tell me, dear Agamemnon," said Trimalchio, do you know anjthing of the twelve labours of Hercules, or the storj' of Ulysses and how the Cyclops twisted his thumb witli the tongs ? I used to read these things in Homer when I was a boy. Yes, and I myself with my own ^ Controversia is a declamation on a controversial theme.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

et cum illi pueri dicerent: 2t'/3iiAAa, rt ^«Aets; re- spondebat ilia; aTro^ai'civ 6(Xo}." If) Nondum efflaverat omnia, cum repositorium cum sue ingenti mensam occupavit. Mirari nos celeritatem coepimus et iurare, ne gallum quidem gallinaceum tarn cito percoqui potuisse, tanto quidem magis, quod longe maior nobis porcus videbatur esse, quam paulo ante aper fuerat. Deinde magis magisque Trimalchio intuens eum Quid? quid?" inquit porcus hie non est exinteratus? Non mehercules est. Voca, voca cocum in medio." Cum constitisset ad mensam cocus tristis et diceret se oblitum esse exinterare, quid? oblitus?" Trimalchio exclamat 'Putes ilium piper et cuminum non coniecisse. Despolia." Non fit mora, despoliatur cocus atque inter duos tortores maestus consistit. Deprecari tamen omnes coepenmt et dicere : Solet fieri ; rogamus, mittas ; postea si fecerit, nemo nostrum pro illo rogabit." Ego, crude- lissimae severitatis, non potui me tenere, sed inclina- tus ad aurem Agamemnonis plane" inquam hie debet servus esse nequissimus; aliquis oblivisceretur porcum exinterare ? Non mehercules illi ignoscerem, si piscem praeterisset." At non Trimalchio, qui re- laxato in hilaritatem vultu Ergo" inquit quia tam malae memoriae es, palam nobis ilium exintera." Recepta cocus tunica cultrum arripuit porcique ven- trem hinc atque illinc timida manu secuit. Nee mora, f<6

SATYRICON

eyes saw the Sibyl hanging in a cage; and when the boys cried at her: Sibyl, Sibyl, vrhat do you want?' I would that I were dead/ she used to answer."^

He had still more talk to pufF out, when the table 49 was filled by a dish holding an enormous pig. We began to express astonishment at such speed, and took our oath that not even a fowl could have been properly cooked in the time, especially as the pig seemed to us to be much bigger than the boar had been a little while earlier. Trimalchio looked at it more and more closely and then said. What, what, has not this pig been gutted? I swear it has not. The cook, send the cook up here to us." The poor cook came and stood by the table and said that he had forgotten to gut it. What ? Forgotten ? " shouted Trimalchio. You would think the fellow had only forgotten to season it with pepper and cummin. Off with his shirt!" In a moment the cook was stripped and stood dolefully between two executioners. Then we all began to beg him off and say: These things will happen ; do let him go ; if he does it again none of us will say a word for htm." I was as stiff and stern as could be ; I could not restrain mvself, but leaned over and said in Agamemnon's ear: This must be a most wretched servant ; how could anyone forget to gut a pig? On my oath I would not forgive him if he had let a fish go like that." But Trimalchio's face softened into smiles. Well," he said, if your memory is so bad, clean him here in front of us." The cook put on his shirt, seized a knife, and carved the pig's belly in various places with a shaking hand. At once the

^ Sibyls were said to live to a great age ; their mummies continued to be exhibited after their death. A confusion with ♦he myth of Tiihonus, who was turned into a grasshopper.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

ex plagis ponderis inclinatione crescentibus tomacu.a. cum botulis efFusa sunt.

50 Plausum post hoc automatum familia dedit et "^Gaio feliciter" conclamavit. Nee non cocus potione hono- ratus est et argentea corona, poculumque in lance accepit Corinthia. Quam cum Agamemnon propius consideraret, ait Trimalchio : Solus sum qui vera Co- rinlhea habeam." Expectabam, ut pro reliqua inso- lentia diceret sibi vasa Corintho afFerri. Sed ille melius :

Et forsitan" inquit quaeris, quare solus Corinthea vera possideam: quia scilicet aerarius, a quo emo, Corinthus vocatur. Quid est autem Corintheum, nisi quis Corinthum habet? Et ne me putetis nesapium esse, valde bene scio, unde primum Corinthea nata sint. Cum Ilium captum est, Hannibalj homo vafer et magnus stelio,^ omnes statuas aeneas et aureas et argenteas in unum rogum congessit et eas incendit; factae sunt in unum aera miscellanea. Ita ex hac massa fabri sustulerunt et fecerunt catilla et paropsides et statuncula. Sic Corinthea nata sunt, ex omnibus in unum, nee hoc nee illud. Ignoscetis mihi, quod dixero : ego malo mihi vitrea, certe non olunt.^ Quod

5 1 si non frangerentur, mallem mihi quam aurum ; nunc

autem vilia sunt. Fuit tamen faber qui fecit pliialara

vitream, quae non frangebatur. Admissus ergo Cae-

sarem est cum suo munere, deinde fecit reporrigere

Caesarem^ et illam in pavimentum proiecit. Caesar non

pote valdius quam expavit. At ille sustulit phialam

^ stelio Heinsius : scelio. ^noii o\unt Bticcheler: nolunt. ' Caesarem Scheffer : Gaesari.

SATYR I CON

slits widened under the pressure from within, and sausages and black puddings tumbled out.

At this the slaves burst into spontaneous applause 50 and shouted, God bless Gaius!" The cook too was rewarded with a drink and a silver cro^NTi, and was handed the cup on a Corinthian dish. Agamemnon began to peer at the dish rather closely, and Trimal- chio said, I am the sole owner of genuine Corinthian plate." I thought he would declare with his usual effrontery that he had cups imported direct from Corinth. But he went one better : You may perhaps inquire," said he, how I come to be alone in having genuine Corinthian stuff: the obvious reason is that the name of the dealer I buy it from is Corinthus. But what is real Corinthian, imless a man has Corinthus at his back ? Do not imagine that I am an ignoramus. I know perfectly well how Corinthian plate was first brought into the world. At the fall of Ilium, Hannibal, a trickster and a great knave, collected all the sculptures, bronze, gold, and silver, into a single pile, and set light to them. They all melted into one amalgam of bronze. The workmen took bits out of this lump and made plates and entree dishes and statuettes. That is how Corinthian metal was born, from all sorts lumped together, neither one kind nor the other. You will forgive me if I say that personally I prefer glass; glass at least does not smell. If it were not so breakable I should prefer it to gold ; as it is, it is so cheap. But there was once a workman who 5 1 made a glass cup that was unbreakable. So he was gfiven an audience of the Emperor with his invention ; he made Caesar give it back to him and then threw it on the floor. Caesar was as frightened as could be. [But the man picked up his cup from the ground : it

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

de terra; collisa erat tanquam vasum aeneum; deinde martiolum de sinu protulit et phialam otio belle cor- rexit. Hoc facto putabat se solium^ lovis tenere, utique postquam Caesar^ illi dixit : Numquid alius scit hanc condituram vitreorum?' vide modo. Postquam negavit, iussit ilium Caesar decollari: quia enim, si scitura essetj aurum pro luto haberemus. In argento 52 plane studiosus sum. Habeo scyphos urnales plus minus C : quemadmodum Cassandra occidit filios suos, et pueri mortui iacent sic ut vivere putes. Habeo capides^ M, quas reliquit patrono meo Mummius,^ ubi Daedalus Niobam in equum Troianum includit. Nam Hermerotis pugnas et Petraitis in poculis habeo, omnia ponderosa ; meum enim intelligere nulla pecunia vendo."

Haec dum refert, puer calicem proiecit. Ad quern respiciens Trimalchio Cito" inquit te ipsum caede, quia nugax es." Statim puer demisso labro orare. At ille Quid me" inquit rogas? Tanquam ego tibi molestus sim. Suadeo, a te impetres, ne sis nugax." Tandem ergo exoratus a nobis missionem dedit puero. Ille dimissus circa mensam percucurrit . . .

et Aquam foras, vinum intro" clamavit . . . excipimus urbanitatem iocantis, et ante omnes Aga- memnon, qui sciebat, quibus meritis revocaretur ad

'solium Heinsius : coleum.

^ Caesar added by Buechelet.

^sic ut vivere Hehtsius : sicuti vere.

^capides M Buecheler : capidem.

'patrono meo '^wTamwxs Buecheler : patronorura meus.

SATi^RICON

was dinted like a bronze bowl ; then he took a little hammer out of his pocket and made the cup quite sound again without any trouble. After doing this he thought he had himself seated on the throne of Jupiter, especially when Caesar said to him : Does anyone else know how to blow glass like this?' Just see what happened. He said not, and then Caesar had him beheaded. Why ? Because if his invention were generally' known we should treat gold like dirt. Myself I have a great i)assion for silver. I own about 52 a hundred four-gallon cups engraved with Cassandra killing her children, and they lying there dead in the most lifelike way. I have a thousand jugs which Mum- mius^ left to mj' patron, and on them you see Dae- dalus shutting Niobe into the Trojan horse. And I have got the fights between Hermeros and Petraites' on my cups, and every cup is a heavy one ; for I do not sell my connoisseurship for any money."

As he was speaking, a boj' dropped a cup. Trimal- chio looked at liim and said. Quick, off ^vith your o-wn head, since you are so stupid." The boy's lip fell and he began to petition. \Miy do you ask me ? " said Trimalchio, as if I should be hard on you ! I advise you to prevail upon yourself not to be stupid." In the end we induced him to let the boy off. As soon as lie was forgiven the boy ran round the table. . . .

Then Trimalchio shouted, 'Out with water I In with wine ! " . . . We took up the joke, especially Aga- memnon, who knew how to earn a second invitation

The name is suggested by the previous references to

Corinth. L. Mummius Acbaicus captured and sacked Corinth in 146 B.C.

Celebrated gladiators of the period. Trimalchio in c. 71

orders the fights of Petraites to be depicted on his tomb.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

cenam. Ceterum laudatus Trimalchio hilarius bibit

et iam ebrio proximus "Nemo" inquit "vestrum rogat

Fortunatam meam, ut saltet? Credite mihi : cordacem

nemo melius ducit."

Atque ipse erectis supra frontem manibus Syrum

histrionem exhibebat concinente tota familia: /idSeia

Trepi/AoSeta. Et prodisset in medium, nisi Fortunata

ad aurem accessisset; [et] credo, dixerit non decere

gravitatem eius tam humiles ineptias. Nihil autem

tam inaequale erat ; nam modo Fortunatam verebatur,

modo ad naturam suam revertebatur.'^

53 Et plane interpellavit saltationis libidinem actua-

rius, qui tanquam urbis acta recitavit : VII. kalendas

sextiles: in praedio Cumano, quod est Trimalcliionis,

nati sunt pueri xxx, puellae xl; sublata in horreum

ex area tritici millia modium quingenta ; boves domiti

quingenti. Eodem die : Mitliridates servus in crucem

actus est, quia Gai nostri genio male dixerat. Eodem

die : in arcam relatum est, quod collocari non potuit,

sestertium centies. Eodem die: incendium factum

est in hortis Pompeianis, ortum ex aedibus Nastae

vilici." , Quid?" inquit Trimalchio quando mihi

Pompeiani horti empti sunt?" Anno priore" inquit

actuarius et ideo in rationem nondum venerunt."

Excanduit Trimalchio et Quicunque" inquit mihi

fundi empti fuerint, nisi intra sextum mensem sciero,

^fortunatam suam revertebatur modo ad naturam MSS., corrected by Heinsiits and Buecheler,

SATYRICON

to dinner. Trimalchio warmed to his drinking under our flattery, and was almost drimk when he said: None of you ask dear Fortunata to dance. I tell you no one can dance the cancan better." He then lifted his hands above his head and gave us the actor Syrus, while all the slaves sang in chorus :

Madeia ! Perimadeia!*

And Trimalchio would have come out into the middle of the room if Fortunata had not whispered in his ear. I suppose she told him that such low fooling was beneath his dignity. But never was anything so variable; at one moment he was afraid of Fortunata, and then he would return to his natural self.

But a clerk quite interrupted his passion for the 53 dance by reading as though from the gazette: "July the 26th. Thirty boys and forty girls were bom on Trimalchio's estate at Cumae. Five hundred thou- sand pecks of wheat were taken up from the thresh- ing-floor into the bam. Five hundred oxen were broken in. On the same date: the slave Mith- ridates was led to crucifixion for having damned the soul of our lord Gaius. On the same date : ten million sesterces which could not be invested were returned to the reserve. On the same day: there was a fire in our gardens at Pompeii, which broke out in the house of Nasta the bailiff." "Stop," said Tri- malchio, When did I buy any gardens at Pompeii?" Last j^ear," said the clerk, "so that they are not entered in your accounts yet." Trimalchio glowed with passion, and said, I will not have any property which is bought in my name entered in my accounts

The meaning of these words is uncertain.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

in ration es meas inferri vetuo." lam etiam edicta

aedilium recitabantur et saltuariorum testamenta, qui-

bus Trimalchio cum elogio exheredabatur ; iam nomina

vilicorum et repudiata a circitore liberta in babieatoris

contubernio deprehensa et atriensis Baias relegatus;

iam reus factus dispensator et iudicium inter cubicu-

larios actum.

Petauristarii autem tandem venerunt, Baro insul-

sissimus cum scabs constitit puerumque iussit per

gradus et in summa parte odaria saltare, circulos

deinde ardentes transibre* et dentibus amphoram sus-

tinere. Mirabatur haec solus Trimalchio dicebatque

ingratum artificium esse. Ceterum duo esse in rebus

humanis, quae libentissime spectaret, petauristarios et

cornicines;^ reliqua [animalia]"^ acroamata tricas me-

ras esse. Nam et comoedos" inquit emeram, sed

malui illos Atellaniam'* facere^ et choraulen meum

iussi Latine can tare."

54 Cum maxime haec dicente Gaio puer^ .... Tri-

malchionis delapsus est. Conclamavit familia, nee

minus convivae, non propter hominem tam putidum,

cuius et cervices fractas libenter vidissent, sed propter

malum exitum cenae, ne necesse haberent alienum

mortuum plorare. Ipse Trimalchio cum graviter in-

gemuisset superque brachium tanquam laesum incu-

buissetj concurrere medici, et inter primes Fortunata

crinibus passis cum scyphoj miseramque se atque infe-

' transilire Heinstus : transire. '^cornicines Heinstus : cornices.

animalia bracketed by Buecheler.
Atellaniam Buecheler: atellam.

Some words such as in brachium have clearly fallen out.

SATYRICON

unless I hear of it within six months." We now had a further recitation of police notices, and some forest- ers' wills, in which Trimalchio was cut out in a codicil ; then the names of bailiffs, and of a freed-woman who had been caught vrith a bathman and divorced by her husband, a night watchman ; the name of a porter who had been banished to Baiae ; the name of a steward who was being prosecuted, and details of an action between some valets.

But at last the acrobats came in. A very dull fool stood there with a ladder and made a boy dance from rung to rung and on the very top to the music of popu- lar airs, and then made him hop through burning hoops, and pick up a wine jar with his teeth. No one was excited by this but Trimalchio, who kept sajing that it was a thankless profession. There were only two things in the world that he could watch with real pleasure, acrobats and trumpeters; all other shows were silly nonsense. Why," said he, "^ I once bought a Greek comedy company, but I preferred them to do Atellane plays,^ and I told my flute-player to have Latin songs."

Just as Trimalchio was speaking the boy slipped 54 and fell [against his arm]. The slaves raised a cry, and so did the guests, not over a disgusting creature whose neck they would have been glad to see broken, but because it would have been a gloomy finish to the dinner to have to shed tears over the death of a per- fect stranger. Trimalchio groaned aloud, and nursed his arm as if it was hurt. Doctors rushed up, and among the first Fortunata, with her hair down, and a cup in her hand, calling out what a poor unhappy

^ Native Latin comedy as opposed to comoedia palliata, which was translated or adapted from the Greek.

THUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

licem proclamavit. Nam puer quidem, qui ceciderat, circumibat iam dudum pedes nostros et missionem rogabat. Pessime mihi erat^ ne his precibus per ridi- culum^ aliquid catastropha quaereretur. Nee enim adhuc exciderat cocus ille, qui oblitus fuerat porcum exintei'are. Itaque totum circumspicere triclinium coepi, ne per parietem automatum aliquod exiret, utique postquam servus verberari coepit^ qui brachiiim domini contusum alba potius quam conchyliata invol- verat lana. Nee longe aberravit suspicio mea; in vicem enim poenae^ venit decretum Trimalchionis, quo puerum iussit liberum esse, ne quis posset dicere, tantum virum esse a servo vulneratum.^ 55 HLO/H I Comprobamus nos factum | et quam in praecipiti HLO res humanae essent, | vario semione garrimus. |

H Ita" in quit Trimalchio non oportet hunc casum sine inscriptione transire" statimque codicillos popo- scit et non diu cogitatione distorta haec recitavit : HL I Quod non expectes, ex transverso fit ... .* — et supra nos Fortuna negotia curat.

H I quare da nobis vina Falerna, puer."

HLO ab hoc epigrammate | coepit poetarum esse mentio diuque summa carminis penes Mopsum Thracem me- morata est donee Trimalchio Rogo " inquit magister, quid putas inter Ciceronem et Publilium interesse? Ego alterum puto disertiorem fuisse, alterum honesti-

orem. Quid enim his melius dici potest?

^ per ridiculum Buecheler : periculo.

'^poenae Hadrianides : cenae.

^ vulneratuni Scheffer : liberatum.

Heinsius would supply ubique, nostra, to fill the. gap be*

tween fit and et.

SATYRICON

woman she was. The creature who had fallen down was crawling round at our feet by this time, and begging for mercy. I was ver}' much afraid that his petition was leading up to some comic surprise. The cook who had forgotten to gut the pig had not yet faded from my recollection. So I began looking all round the dining-room, in case any clockwork toy should jump out of the wall, especially after they had begun to beat a servant for dressing the bruise on his master's arm with white wool instead of purple. And my suspicions were not far out. Instead of punish- ment there came Trimalchio's decree that he should be made a free man, for fear anyone might be able to say that our hero had been wounded by a slave.

We applauded his action, and made small talk in 55 different phrases about the uncertainty of man's affairs. Ah," said Trimalchio, then we should not let this occasion slip without a record." And he called at once for paper, and after very brief reflection de- claimed these halting verses :

What men do not look for turns about and comes to pass. And high over us Fortune directs our aflFairs. Wherefore, slave, hand us Falemian wine."

A discussion of poetry arose out of this epigram, and for a long time it was maintained that Mopsus of Thrace held the crown of song in his hand, until Tri- malchio said. Now, I ask 5'ou as a scholar, how would you compare Cicero and Publilius ? ^ In my opinion the first has more eloquence, the second more beauty. For what could be better written than these lines?

Publilius is Publilius Syrus, a famous writer of farce. It

is not certain whether the verses which follow are actually by him or not.

H 97

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

(I c ■

Luxuriae rictu Martis marcent moenia. Tuo palato clausus pavo pascitur^ plumato amictus aureo Babylonico, gallina tibi Numidica, tibi gallus spado; ciconia etianij grata peregrina hospita pietaticultrix gracilipes crotalistria, avis exul hiemis, titulus tepidi temporis, nequitiae nidum in caccabo fecit modo. ^ Quo margarita cava tibi, bacam Indicam?^ An ut matrona ornata phaleris pelagiis tollat pedes indomita in strato extraneo? Zmaragdum ad quam rem viridem, pretio-

sum vitrum? Quo Carchedonios optas ignes lapideos, nisi ut scintillet probitas e carbunculis?* Aequum est induere nuptam ventum textilem, palam prostare nudam in nebula linea ? ' 56 H I 'Quodautem"inquit putamus secundum litteras difficillimum esse artificium? Ego puto medicum et nummularium: medicus, qui scit quid homunciones intra praecordia sua habeant et quando febris veniat, etiam si illos odi pessime, quod mihi iubent saepe anatinam parari; nummularius, qui per argentum aes videt. Nam mutae bestiae laboriosissimae boves et oves: boves, quorum beneficio panem mandueamus; oves, quod lana illae nos gloriosos faciunt. Et facinus indignum, aliquis ovillam est et tunicam habet. Apes enim ego divinas bestias puto, quae mel vomunt, etiam HL si dicuntur illud a love afferre ; | ideo autem pungunt, quia ubicunque dulce est, ibi et acidum invenies."

^ psisc'itiir Scaliger : nascitur. ^ modo yiacoi^ ; meo.

tibi, bacam Indicam, Heinsitis : tribaca Indica
e cod. Bernetisis : est other MSS. carbunculis Buecheler:

carbunculus — os or— as.

SATYRICON

The high walls of Mars crumble beneath the gap- ing jaws of luxury. To please thy palate the peacock in his Babylonian vesture of gilded feathers is prisoned and fed, for thee the guinea-fowl, and for thee the capon. Even our beloved foreign guest the stork, type of parental love, with thin legs and sounding rattle, the bird exiled by ■winter, the harbinger of the warm weather, has now built a nest in thine abhorred cooking-pot. What are pearls of price, the fruits of India, to thee? For thy wife to be adorned with sea- spoils when she lies unchecked on a strange man's bed? For what end dost thou require the green emerald, the precious crystal, or the fire that lies in the jewels of Carthage, save that honesty should shine forth from amid the carbuncles? Thy bride might as well clothe herself with a garment of the wind as stand forth publicly naked under her clouds of muslin.'

And now," said he, what do we think is the 56 hardest profession after writing? I think a doctor's era money-changer's. The doctor's, because he knows what poor men have in their insides, and when a fever will come — though I detest them specially, because they so often order me to live on duck. The money- changer's, because he sees the copper under the silver. Just so among the dumb animals, oxen and sheep are the hardest workers : the oxen, because thanks to the oxen we have bread to eat ; the sheep, because their wool clothes us in splendour. It is a gross outrage when people eat lamb and wear shirts. Yes, and I hold the bees to be the most divine insects. They vomit honey, although people do say they bring it from Jupiter : and they have stings, because wherever you have a sweet thing there you will find something bitter too."

h2 99

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER H I lam etiam philosophos de negotio deiciebat, cum pittacia in scypho circumferri coeperuntj puerque su- per hoc positus officium apophoreta recitavit. Argen- tum sceleratum": allata est perna, super quam acetabula erant posita. Cervical": ofHa collaris allata est. Serisapia et contumelia " : xerophagi ex sapa^ datae sunt et contus cum malo. Porri et persica": flagellum et cultrum accepit; passeres et muscarium": uvam passam et mel Atticum. Cena- toria et forensia " : offlam et tabulas accepit. Canale et pedale": lepus et solea est allata. Muraena et littera": murem cum rana alligata fascemque betae accepit.'^ Diu risimus: sexcenta huiusmodi fuerunt, quae iam exciderunt memoriae meae. 57 Ceterum Ascyltos, intemperantis licentiae, cum omnia sublatis manibus eluderet et usque ad lacrimas rideret, unus ex conlibertis Trimalchionis excanduit^ is ipse qui supra me discumbebat^ et Quid rides " inquit " vervex ? An tibi non placent lautitiae domini mei? Tu enim beatior es et convivare melius soles. Ita tutelam huius loci habeam propitiam, ut ego si secundum ilium discumberem, iam illi balatum duxis-

xerophagi ex sapa Friedlaender : aecrophagie saele.

• accepit added by Buecheler.

100

SATYRICON

He was just throwing the philosophers out of work, when tickets were carried round in a cup, and a boy who was entrusted -with this duty read aloud the names of the presents for the guests.^ Tainted metal " ; a ham was brought in with a vinegar bottle on top of it. ' Something soft for the neck" ; a scrap of neck-end was put on. Repenting at leisure and obstinate badness" ; we were given biscuits made -with must, and a thick stick with an apple. Leeks and peaches"; he took a scourge and a dagger. "Spar- rows and fly-paper" ; he picked up some dried grapes and a honey-pot. Evening-dress and outdoor clothes"; he handled a piece of meat and some note-books. Canal and foot-measure " ; a hare and a slipper were introduced. The muraena and a letter " ; he took a mouse and a frog tied together, and a bun- dle of beetroot. We laughed loud and long : there were any number of these jokes, which have now escaped my memory.

Ascyltos let himself go completely, threw up his 57 hands and made fun of everything, and laughed till he cried. This annoj'ed one of Trimalchio's fellow- freedmen, the man who was sitting next above me.

What are you laughing at, sheep's head?" he said.

Are our host's good things not good enough for you ? I suppose you are richer and used to better living? As I hope to have the spirits of this place on my side, if I had been sitting next him I should have put a stopper on his bleating by now. A nice young

^ Apophorela are presents for gfuests to carry away. It was customary to hand tickets to them on which riddles con- cealing the names of the presents were written. Trimalchio's jokes depend upon allusions to likenesses between the words in the riddle and the nanje of the present, and are therefore impossible to render in English.

\01

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

sem. Bellum pomum, qui rideatur alios; larifuga nescio quis, nocturnus, qui non valet lotium suum. Ad summam, si circumminxero ilium, nesciet qua fu- giat. Non mehercules soleo cito fervere, sed in moUe carne vermes nascuntur. Ridet. Quid habet quod rideat? Numquid pater fetum emit lamna? Eques Romanus es: et ego regis filius. Quare ergo servi- visti?' Quia ipse me dedi in servitutem et malui civis Romanus esse quam tributarius. Et nunc spero me sic vivere, ut nemini iocus sim. Homo inter homi- nes sum, capite aperto ambulo; assem aerarium nemini debeo; constitutum habui nunquam; nemo mihi in foro dixit redde quod debes.' Glebulas emi, lamellulas paravi ; viginti ventres pasco et canem ; contubernalem meam redemi, ne quis in sinu illius manus tergeret; mille denarios pro capite solvi; sevir gratis factus sum ; spero, sic moriar, ut mortuus non erubescam. Tu autem tam laboriosus es, ut post te non respicias? In alio peduclum vides, in te ricinum non vides. Tibi soli ridiclei videmur; ecce magister tuus, homo maior natus : placemus illi. Tu lacticulo- sus, nee mu nee ma argutas, vasus fictilis, immo lorus in aqua, lentior, non melior. Tu beatior es: bis prande, bis cena. Ego fidem meam malo quam the- sauros. Ad summam, quisquam me bis poposcit? Annis quadraginta servivi ; nemo tamen sciit, utrum servus essem an liber. Et puer capillatus in hanc coloniam veni ; adhuc basilica non erat facta. Dedi 102

SATYRICON

shaver to laugh at other people ! Some vagabond fl> by-night not worth his salt. In fact, when I've done with him he won't know where to take refuge. Upon my word, I am not easily annoyed as a rule, but in rotten flesh worms will breed. He laughs. WTiat has he got to laugh about ? Did his father pay solid gold for him when he was a baby ? A Roman knight, are you? Well, I am a king's son. ' Then why have you been a slave?' Because I went into service to please myself, and preferred being a Roman citizen to going on paying taxes as a provincial. And now I hope I live such a life that no one can jeer at me. I am a man among men; I walk about bare-headed; I OAve nobody a brass fai-thing; I have never been in the Courts ; no one has ever said to me in public. Pay me what you owe me.' I have bought a few acres and collected a little capital ; I have to feed twenty bellies and a dog : I ransomed my fellow slave to preserve her from indignities ; I paid a thousand silver pennies for my own freedom ; I was made a priest of Augustus and ex- cused the fees ; I hope to die so that I need not blush in my grave. But are you so full of business that you have no time to look behind you? You can see the lice on others, but not the bugs on yourself. No one finds us comic but you : there is your schoolmaster, older and wiser than you : he likes us. You are a child just weaned, you cannot squeak out mu or ma, you are a clay-pot, a wash-leather in water, softer, not superior. If you are richer, then have two breakfasts and two dimiers a day. I prefer my reputation to any riches. One word more. Who ever had to speak to me twice ? I was a slave for forty years, and nobody knew whether I was a slave or free. I was a boy with long curls when I came to this place ; they had not built the to"Ti-hall then.

103

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER tamen operam, ut domino satis facerem, homini mai- iesto^ et dignitossOj cuius pluris erat unguis^ quam tu totus es. Et habebam in domo, qui mihi pedem op- ponerent hac iliac; tamen — genio illius gratias — enatavi. Haec sunt vera athla; nam [in] ingenuum nasci tam facile est quam accede istoc' Quid nunc stupes tanquam hircus in ervilia?" 58 Post hoc dictum Giton, qui ad pedes stabat^ risum iam diu compressum etiam indecenter efFudit. Quod cum animadvertisset adversarius Ascylti, flexit convi- cium in puerum et Tu autem" inquit "etiam tu rides, caepa cirrata?"^ lo Saturnalia, rogo, mensis decemberest? Quandovicesimam numerasti? Nescit^ quid fiiciat, crucis offla, corvorum cibaria. Curabo, iam tibi lovis iratus sit, et isti qui tibi non imperat. Ita satur pane fiam, ut ego istud conliberto meo dono ; alioquin iam tibi depraesentiarum reddidissem. Bene nos habemus, at isti nugae/ qui tibi non imperant. Plane qualis dominus, talis et servus. Vix me teneo, nee ^ sum natura caldicerebrius, sed^ cum coepi, matrem meam dupundii non facio. Recte, videbo te in publi- cum, mus, immo terrae tuber : nee sursum nee deorsum non cresco, nisi dominum tuum in rutae folium non conieei, nee tibi parsero, licet mehercules lovem

' maiiesto Buecheler folloiving Muncker: mali isto.

^ cirrata Reinesius : pirrata.

^ nescit supplied by Buecheler.

nugae Buecheler : g-eiige.

^ nee yah?i: et.

^caldicerebiiusyaA».- caldus cicer eius : sed added

by Buecheler, 104.

SATYRICON

But I tried to please my master, a fine dignified gentleman whose little finger was worth more than your whole body. And there were people in the house who put out a foot to trip me up here and there. But still — God bless my master ! — I struggled through. These are real victories : being born free is as easy as saying. Come here.' But why do yor stare at me now like a goat in a field of vetch?"

At this remark Giton, who was standing by my 58 feetj burst out with an unseemly laugh, which he had now been holding in for a long Avhile. Ascyltos's enemy noticed him, and turned his abuse on to the boy. \Vhat," he said, are you laughing too, you curly-headed onion ? A merry Saturnalia indeed : what, have we December here ? When did you pay five per cent on your freedom ? He doesn't know what to do, the gallows-bird, the crows'-meat. I will call down the wrath of Jupiter at once on you and the fellow who cannot keep j'ou in order. As sure as I get my bellyfuU, I would have given you what you deserve now on the spot, but for my respect for my fellow-freedman. We are getting on splendidlj', but those fellows are fools, who don't keep you in hand. Yes, like master, like man. I can scarcely hold my- self in, and I am not naturally hot-tempered, but when I once begin I do not care twopence for my own mother. Depend upon it, I shall meet you somewhere in public, you rat, you puff-ball. I will not grow an inch up or down until I have put your master's head in a nettle-bed,^ and I shall have no mercy on you, I can tell you, however much you may call upon Jupiter ^ Cf. note, p. 57.

105

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Olympium clames. Curabo, longe tibi sit comula ista besalis et dominus dupunduarius. Recte, venies sub dentem : aut ego non me novi, aut non deridebis, licet barbam auream habeas. Athana tibi irata sit, curabo, et qui te primus deurode ^ fecit.

Non didici geometrias, critica et alogias nenias, sed lapidarias litteras scio, partes centum dico ad aes, ad pondus, ad nummum. Ad summam, si quid vis, ego et tu sponsiunculam : exi, defero lamnam.^ lam scies patrem tuum mercedes perdidisse, quamvis et rhetoricam scis.^ Ecce

Qui de nobis ^ longe venio, late venio? solve me.' Dicam tibi, qui de nobis currit et de loco non move- tur ; qui de nobis crescit et minor fit. Curris, stupes, satagis, tanquam mus in matella. Ergo aut tace aut meliorem noli molestare, qui te natum non putat; nisi si me iudicas anulos buxeos curare, quos amicae tuae involasti. Occuponem propitium. Eamus in forum et pecunias mutuemur: iam scies hoc ferrum

' devpo St) Buecheler: deurode.

lamnam Heinsius: lana.

' scis Reiske : scio.

qui de nobis Buecheler: quidem vobis.

106

SATYRICON

in Olympus. Those pretty eight-inch curls and that twopenny master of yours will be no use to you. De- pend upon it^ you will come under the harrow; if I know my own name you will not laugh any more, though you may have a gold beard like a god. I will bring dovm the wrath of Athena on you and the man who first made a minion of you.^

" Noj I never learned geometry, and criticism, and suchlike nonsense.^ But I know my tall letters, and I can do any siun into pounds, shillings, and pence. In fact, if you like, you and I will have a little bet. Come on, I put down the metal. Now I will show you that your father wasted the fees, even though you are a scholar in rhetoric. Look here :

'What part of us am I? I come far, I come wide.

Now find me.'

I can tell you what part of us runs and does not

move from its place ; what grows out of us and grows

smaller.^ Ah! you run about and look scared and

hustled, like a mouse in a pot. So keep your mouth

shut, or do not worry your betters who are unaware of

your existence ; unless you think I have any respect

for the boxwood rings you stole from your young

woman. May the God of grab be on my side ! * Let

us go on 'Change and borrow money: then you will

see that my iron ring commands credit. My word, a

' Detirode is a transliteration of the Greek Sivpo 5i} " come hither," used of a person trained to be obsequious.

Lit. folly and nursery rhymes.

' The answer to these riddles according to Buecheler is " the foot, the eye, and the hair."

Occnpo is a goblin who helps people in business, like the

Lares mentioned in c. 60.

107

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER fidem habere. Vah, bella res est volpis uda. Ita lucrum faciam et ita bene moriar aut populus per exitum meum iuret, nisi te ubique toga perversa fuero persecutus. Bella res et iste, qui te haee docet, mu- frius, non magister. Nos^ didicimus, dicebat enim magister: Sunt vestra salva? recta domum; cave, circumspicias ; cave, maiorem maledicas. Aut nu- mera mapalia: nemo dupondii evadit.' Ego, quod me sic vides, propter artificium meum diis gratias ago." 59 Coeperat Ascyltos respondere convicio, sed Trimal- chio delectatus coUiberti eloquentia Agite" inquit

scordalias de medio. Suaviter sit potius, et tu, Hermeros, parce adulescentulo. Sanguen illi fervet, HL tu melior esto. | Semper in hac re qui vincitur, vin- H cit. I Et tu cum esses capo, cocococo, atque cor non habebas. Simus ergo, quod melius est, a primitiis hilares et Homeristas spectemus." Intravit factio statim hastisque scuta concrepuit. Ipse Trimalchio in pulvino consedit, et cum Homeristae Graecis ver- sibus colloquerentur, ut insolenter solent, ille canora voce Latine legebat librum. Mox silentio facto

scitis" inquit quam fabulam agant? Diomedes ei^ Ganymedes duo fratres fuerunt. Horum soror erat Helena. Agamemnon illam rapuit et Dianae cervam subiecit. Ita nunc Homeros dicit, quemadmodum

^ nos added by Jacobs, who read nos magis- 108

SATYRICON

draggled fox is a fine creature 1 I hope I may never get rich and make a good end^ and have the people swear- ing by my death, if I do not put on the black cap^ and hunt you down everywhere. It was a fine fellow who taught you to behave like this, too ; a chattering ape, not a master. We had some real schooling, for the master used to say. Are all your belongings safe ? Go straight home, and don't stop to look round you ; and mind you do not abuse your elders. Coimt up all the wastrels, if you like ; not one of them is worth twopence in the end.' Yes, I thank God for education; it made me what I am."

Ascyltos was preparing a retort to his abuse, but 59 Trimalchio was delighted ^vith his fellow-freedman's readiness, and said. Come now, stop all this wrang- ling. It is nicer to go on pleasantly, please do not be hard on the young man, Hermeros. Young blood is hot in him; you must be indulgent. A man who admits defeat in this kind of quarrel is always the winner. And you, too, when you were a young cockerel cried Cock-a-doodle-doo I and hadn't any sense Ln your head. So let us do better, and start the fun over again, and have a look at these reciters of Homer." A troop came in at once and clashed spear on shield. Trimalchio sat up on his cushion, and when the reciters talked to each other in Greek verse, as their conceited way is, he intoned Latin from a book. Soon there was silence, and then he said, " You know the story they are doing ? Diomede and Gany- mede were two brothers. Helen was their sister. Aga- memnon carried her off and took in Diana by sacrific- ing a deer to her instead. So Homer is now telling

' Toga perversa : a magistrate wore his toga reversed when he had to pronounce a capital sentence.

109

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

inter se pugnent Troiani et Parentini. Vicit scilicet et Iphigeniam, filiam suam, Achilli dedit uxorem. Ob earn rem Aiax insanit et statim argumentum ex- plicabit." Haec ut dixit Trimalchio, clamorem Homeristae sustulerunt, interque familiam discur- rentem vitulus in lance donaria^ elixus allatus est^ et quidem galeatus. Secutus est Aiax strictoque gladio, tanquam insaniret, concidit, ac modo versa modo supina gesticulatus mucrone frusta collegit mirantibusque vitulum partitus est. 60 Nee diu mirari licuit tarn elegantes strophas; nam repente lacunaria sonare coeperunt totumque tricli- nium intremuit. Consternatus ego exsurrexi et timui, ne per tectum petauristarius aliquis descenderet. Nee minus reliqui convivae mirantes erexere vultus^ expe- ctantes quid novi de caelo nuntiaretur. Ecce autem diductis lacunaribus subito circulus ingens, de cupa videlicet grandi excussus, demittitur^ cuius per totum orbem coronae aureae cum alabastris unguenti pende- bant. Dum haec apophoreta iubemur sumere, respi- ciens ad mensam . . ,

iam illic repositorium cum placentis aliquot erat posi- tum^ quod medium Priapus a pistore factus tenebat, gremioque satis amplo omnis generis poma et uvas sustinebat more vulgato. Avidius ad pompam manus porreximuSj et repente nova ludorum remissio hilari- tatem hie refecit. Omnes enim placentae onmiaque poma etiam minima vexatione contacta coeperunt efFundere crocum^ et usque ad os' molestus umor ac-

^ donaria Buecheler: dunaria.

os Buecheler: nos.

110

SATYRICON

the tale of the war betM'een Troy and Parentium. ^ Of course he won and married his daughter Iphigenia to Achilles. That drove Ajax mad, and he ^vill show you the story in a minute." As he spoke the heroes raised a shout, and the slaves stood back to let a boiled calf on a presentation dish be brought in. There was a helmet on its head. Ajax followed and attacked it with his sword drawn as if he were mad; and after making passes with the edge and the flat he collected slices on the point, and divided the calf among the astonished company.

We were not given long to admire these elegant 60 tours de force ; suddenlj- there came a noise from the ceiling, and the whole dining-room trembled. I rose from my place in a panic : I Avas afraid some acrobat would come dowTi through the roof. All the other guests too looked up astonished, wondering what the new portent from heaven was announced. The whole ceil- ing parted asunder, and an enormous hoop, apparently knocked out of a giant cask, was let down. All round it were hung golden crowns and alabaster boxes of perfumes. We were asked to take these presents for ourselves, when I looked back at the table. . . . A dish \Nith some cakes on it had now been put there, a Priapus made by the confectioner standing in the middle, holding up every kind of fruit and grapes in his wide apron in the conventional style. We reached greedily after his treasures, and a sudden fresh turn of humour renewed our merriment. All the cakes and all the fruits, however lightly they were touched, began to spurt out saffron, and the nasty juice flew

^Parentium is a town in Istria; Trimalchio has no reason but ignorance for selecting it as the enemy of Troy.

Ill

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

cidere. Rati ergo sacrum esse fericulum tam religioso apparatu perfusum, consurreximus altius et Augusto, patri patriae, feliciter" diximus. Quibusdam tamen etiam post hanc venerationem poma rapientibus et ipsi^ mappas implevimus, ego praecipue, qui'nullo sa- tis amplo munere putabam me onerare Gitonis sinum.

Inter haec tres pueri Candidas succincti tunicas in- traverunt, quorum duo Lares bullatos super mensam posuerunt, unus pateram vini circumferens dii pro- pi tii" clamabat.

Aiebat autem unum Cerdonem, alterum Felicionem, tertium Lucrionem^ vocari. Nos etiam veram imagi- nem ipsius Trimalchionis, cum iam omnes basiarent, erubuimus praeterire. 61 Postquam ergo omnes bonam mentem bonamque valitudinem sibi optarunt, Trimalchio ad Nicerotem respexit et solebas" inquit suavius esse in convictu ; nescio quid nunc taces nee muttis. Oro te, sic felicem me videas, narra illud quod tibi usu venit." Niceros delectatus affabilitate amici omne me " inquit lucrum transeat, nisi iam dudum gaudimonio dissilio, quod te talem video. Itaque hilaria mera sint, etsi timeo istos scholasticoSj ne me rideant. Viderint : narrabo tamen : quid enim mihi aufert^ qui ridet? Satius est rideri quam derideri." 'Haec ubi dicta dedit/' talem fabu- 1am exorsus est:

" Cum adhuc servirem, habitabamus in vico angusto ; nunc Gavillae domus est. Ibi^ quomodo dii volunt, amare coepi uxorem Terentii coponis: noveratis Me-

^ ipsi Heinsius : ipsas.

^ Lucrionem Seinesius: lucronem.

112

SATYRICON

even into our mouths. We thought it must be a sacred dish that was anointed with such holy appoint- ments, and we all stood straight up and cried. The gods bless Augustus, the father of his country." But as some people even after this solemnity snatched at the fruit, we filled our napkins too, myself especially, for I thought that I could never fill Giton's lap ■with a large enough present. Meanwhile three boys came in with their white tunics well tucked up, and two of them put images of the Lares with lockets round their necks on the table, while one carried round a bowl ot wine and cried, God be gracious unto us."

Trimalchio said that one of the images was called Gain, another Luck, and the third Profit. And as everybody else kissed Trimalchio's true portrait we were ashamed to pass it by.

So after they had all wished themselves good sense 6l and good health, Trimalchio looked at Niceros and said. You used to be better company at a dinner; I do not know why you are dumb now, and do not utter a sound. Do please, to make me happy, tell us of your adventure." Niceros was dehghted by his friend's amiability and said. May I never turn another penny if I am not ready to burst with joy at seeing you in such a good humour. Well, it shall be pure fun then, though I am afraid your clever friends will laugh at me. Still, let them ; I will tell my story ; what harm does a man's laugh do me? Being laughed at is more satisfactorj- than being sneered at." So spake the hero,^ and began the following story;

While I was still a slave, we were living in a narrow street; the house now belongs to Ga\illa. There it was God's will that I should fall in love with ^ See Virgil, ^neid ii, 790-

113

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER lissam Tarentinam, pulcherrimum bacciballum, Sed ego non mehercules corporaliter illam^ aut propter res venerias curavi, sed magis quod benemoria^ fuit. Si quid ab ilia petii, nunquam mihi negatum; fecit assenij semissem habui ; quicquid habui, in illius sinum demandavi, nee unquam fefellitus sum. Huius con- tubernalis ad villam supremum diem obiit. Itaque per scutum per ocream egi aginavi, quemadmodum ad illam pervenirem: scitis autem, in angustiis amici 62 apparent. Forte dominus Capuam exierat ad scruta scita expedienda. Nactus ego occasionem persuadeo hospitem nostrum, ut mecum ad quintum miliarium veniat. Erat autem miles, fortis tanquam Orcus. Apoculamus nos circa gallicinia, luna lucebat tanquam meridie. Venimus intra monimenta: homo meus coepit ad stelas facere, sedeo^ ego cantabundus et stelas numero. Deinde ut respexi ad comitem, ille exuit se et omnia vestimenta secundum viam posuit. Mihi anima* in naso esse, stabam tanquam mortuus. At ille circumminxit vestimenta sua, et subito lupus factus est. Nolite me iocari putare; ut mentiar, nullius patrimonium tanti facio. Sed, quod coeperam dicere, postquam lupus factus est, ululare coepit et in silvas fugit. Ego primitus nesciebam ubi essem, deinde accessi, ut vestimenta eius tollerem : ilia autem lapidea facta sunt. Qui mori timore nisi ego ? Gladium tamen strinxi et in tota via^ umbras cecidi, donee ad

' illam Buecheler: autem.

'^benemoria Orelli: bene moriar.

sedeo Schemer; sed.

anima Muncker: in animo.

' in tota via Scheffer: matavita tau.

114

SATi^ EICON

the wife of Terentius the inn-keeper ; you remember her, Melissa of Tarentum, a pretty round thing. But I swear it was no base passion ; I did not care about her in that way, but rather because she had a beauti- ful nature. If I asked her for anj-thing it was never refused me ; if she made twopence I had a penny ; whatever I had I put into her pocket, and I was never taken in. Now one day her husband died on the estate.^ So I buckled on my shield and greaves, and schemed how to come at her: and as you know, one's friends turn up in tight places. My master happened to have gone to Capua to look after some silly business^ or other. I seized my opportunity, and 62 persuaded a guest in our house to come with me as far as the fifth milestone. He was a soldier, and as brave as Hell. So we trotted off about cock- crow ; the moon shone like high noon. We got among the tombstones^: my man went aside to look a\ the epitaphs, I sat down with my heart full of song and began to count the graves. Then when I looked round at my friend, he stripped himself and put all his clothes by the roadside. My heart was in my mouth, but I stood like a dead man. He made a ring of water round his clothes and suddenly turned into a wolf. Please do not think I am joking; I would not lie about this for any fortune in the world. But as I was sajring, after he had turned into a wolf, he began to howl, and ran off into the woods. At first I hardly knew where I was, then I went up to take his clothes ; but they had all turned into stone. No one could be nearer dead ^Wth terror than I was. But I drew my sword and went slaying shadows all the way till I

'Terentius was a slave managing- the tavern for his master.

Lit., elegant trash. ' They would be by the roadside.

i2 115

/ITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

villam amicae meae pervenirem. Ut larua^ intravi, paene animam ebullivi, sudor mihi per bifurcum vola- bat, oculi mortuij vix unquam refectus sum. Melissa mea mirari coepitj quod tam sero ambularem, et Si ante ' inquit venisses, saltern nobis adiutasses ; lupus enim villam intravit et omnia pecora perculit, tanquam lanius sanguinem illis misit. Nee tamen density etiam si fugit; servus enim noster lancea collum eius traie- cit.' Haec ut audivi, operire oculos amplius non potui, sed luce clara Gai nostri domum fugi tanquam copo compilatus, et postquam veni in ilium locum, in quo lapidea vestimenta erant facta, nihil inveni nisi sanguinem. Ut vero domum veni, iacebat miles meus in lecto tanquam bovis, et collum illius medicus cura- bat. Intellexi ilium versipellem esse, nee postea cum illo panem gustare potui, non si me occidisses. Viderint alii quid de hoc exopinissent ; ego si mentior, genios vestros iratos habeam." 63 Attonitis admiratione universis Salvo" inquit tuo sermone" Trimalchio ' si qua fides est, ut mihi pili inhorruerunt, quia scio Niceronem nihil nugarum nar- rare : immo certus est et minime linguosus. Nam et ipse vobis rem horribilem narrabo: asinus in tegulis. Cum adhuc capillatus essem, nam a puero vitam Chiam gessi, ipsimi nostri^ delicatus decessit, mehercules margaritum, zacritus^ et omnium numerum. Cum ergo ilium mater misella plangeret et nos tum plures in tristimonio essemus, subito strigae stridere* coepe-

^ ut larua Buecheler: in larvam. '■' ipsimi nostri Buecheler; ipim mostri.

^zacritus Roensch; caccitus. A Latin rendering of the Greek Si&Kpno's, excellent. Cf. notes on c. 37.

stridere added by Jacobs.

116

SATYRICON

came to my love's house. I went in like a corpse, and nearly gave up the ghost, the sweat ran down my legs, my eyes were dull, I could hardly be revived. My dear Melissa was surprised at my being out so late, and said. If you had come earlier you might at least have helped us ; a wolf got into the house and worried all our sheep, and let their blood like a butcher. But he did not make fools of us, even though he got off; for our slave made a hole in his neck with a spear.' When I heard this, I could not keep my eyes shut any longer, but at break of day I rushed back to my master Gaius's house like a defrauded publican, and when I came to the place where the clothes were turned into stone, I found nothing but a pool of blood. But when I reached home, my soldier was lying in bed like an ox, with a doctor looking after his neck. I realized that he was a werewolf, and I never could sit down to a meal with him after^vards, not if you had killed me first. Other people may think what they Hke about this ; but may all jour guardian angels punish me if I am lying."

We were all dumb with astonishment, but Trimal- 63 chio said, I pick no holes in your story; by the soul of truth, how my hair stood on end ! For I know that Niceros never talks nonsense : he is very dependable, and not at all a chatterbox. Now I want to tell you a tale of horror myself: but I'm a donkey on the tiles compared with him. While I still had hair down my back, for I lived delicately^ from my youth up, my master's favourite died. Oh! he was a pearl, one in a thousand, and a mirror of perfection ! So while his poor mother was bewailing him, and several of us were

'Literally "a Chian life, i.e. luxurious and vicious. Thucydides calls the Cbians shameless.

117

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

runt; putares canem leporem persequi. Plabelimus tunc hominem Cappadocem, longum, valde audaculum et qui valebat : poterat bovem ^ iratum toUere. Hie au- dacter stricto gladio extra ostium procucurrit, involuta sinistra manu curiose, et niulierem tanquam hoc loco — salvum sitj quod tango — mediam traiecit. Audimus gemitum, et — plane non mentiar — ipsas non vidimus. Baro autem noster introversus se proiecit in lectum, et corpus totum lividum habebat quasi flagellis caesus, quia scilicet ilium tetigerat mala manus. Nos cluso ostio redimus iterum ad officium, sed dum mater am- plexaret corpus filii sui, tangit et videt manuciolum de stramentis factum. Non cor liabebat, non intestina, non quicquam: scilicet iam puerum strigae involave- rant et supposuerant stramenticium vavatonem. Rogo vos, oportet credatis, sunt mulieres plussciae^ sunt nocturnae, et quod sursum est, deorsum faciunt. Ceterum baro ille longus post hoc factum nunquam coloris sui fuit, immo post paucos dies phreneticus periit." 64 Miramur nos et pariter credimus, osculatique men- sem rogamus nocturnas, ut suis se teneant, dum redimus a cena.

Et sane iam lucernae mihi plures videbantur ardere totumque triclinium esse mutatum, cum Trimalchio "tibi dico" inquit Plocame, nihil narras? Nihil nos delectaris? Et solebas suavius esse, canturire belle deverbia, adicere melicam. Heu heu, abistis dulcis caricae." Iam" inquit ille quadrigae meae decu- ' bovem Reiske : Jovera. 118

SATYRICON

sharing her sorrow, suddenly the witches began to screech ; you would have thought there was a dog pur- suing a hare. We had a Cappadocian in the house at the time, a tall fellow, mighty brave and a man of muscle ; he could lift an angry bull off the ground. He rushed boldly out of doors with a naked sword, having carefully wrapped up his left hand, and ran the woman through the middle, just about here — ma}' the spot my finger is on be safe I We heard a groan, but to tell the honest truth we did not see the -witches themselves. But our big fellow came back and threw himself on a bed : and his whole body was blue as if he had been flogged, of course because the witch's hand had touched him. We shut the door and returned to our observances, but when the mother put her arms round the body of her son, she felt it and saw that it was a little bundle of straw. It had no heart, no inside or anjthing: of course the witches had carried off the boy and put a straw changeling in his place. Ah ! yes, I would beg you to believe there are wise women, and night-riders, who can turn the whole world upside down. Well, the tall slave never came back to his proper colour after this affair, and died raving mad in a few days."

We were full of wonder and faith, and we kissed 64 the table and prayed the Night-riders to stay at home as we returned from dinner.

By this time, I own, the lamps were multipljing before my eyes, and the whole dining-room was alter- ing; then Trimalchio said. Come you, Plocamus, have you got no story? Will you not entertain us? You used to be more pleasant company, and recite blank verse very prettily, and put in songs too. Dear, dear, all the sweet green figs are fallen!" Ah, yes," the man repUed, my galloping days are over since I

119

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

currerunt, ex quo podagi'icus factus sum. Alioquin cum essem adulescentulus, cantando paene tisicus fa- ctus sum. Quid saltare ? Quid deverbia ? Quid ton- strinum ? Quando parem habui nisi unum Apelletem?" Appositaque ad os manu nescio quid taetrum exsibila- vit, quod postea Graecum esse affirmabat.

Nee non Trimalchio ipse cum tubicines esset imita- tus, ad delicias suas respexit, quem Croesum appellabat. Puer autem lippus, sordidissimis dentibus, catellam nigram atque indecenter pinguem prasina involvebat fascia panemque semissem ponebat super torum atque [hac] nausea recusantem saginabat. Quo admonitus officii Trimalchio Scylacem iussit adduci praesidium domus familiaeque." Nee mora, ingentis formae ad- ductus est canis catena vinctus, admonitusque ostiarii calce, ut cubaret, ante mensam se posuit. Tum Tri- malchio iactans candidum panem nemo" inquit in domo mea me plus amat." Indignatus puer, quod Scylacem tam effuse laudaret, catellam in terram de- posuit hortatusque est, ut ad rixam properaret. Scy- lax, canino scilicet usus ingenio, taeterrimo latratu triclinium implevit Margaritamque Croesi paene lace- ravit. Nee intra rixam tumultus constitit, sed candela- brum etiam super mensam eversum et vasa omnia crystallina comminuit et oleo ferventi aliquot convivas respersit. Trimalchio ne videretur iactura motus, ba- siavit puerum ac iussit super dorsum ascendere suum. Non moratus ille usus est equo manuque plena scapu- las eius subinde verberavit, interque risum proclamavit: 120

SATYRICON

was taken \i-ith the gout. In the days when I was a young fellow I nearly got consumption with singing. How I could dance and recite and imitate the talk in a barber's shop! Was there ever my equal, except the one and only Apelles ?" And he put his hand to his mouth and whistled out some offensive stuff I did not catch : he declared afterwards it was Greek.

Then TrimalchiOj after imitating a man with a trum- pet, looked round for his favourite, whom he called Croesus. The creature had blear eyes and very bad teeth, and was tying up an unnaturally obese black puppy in a green handkerchief, and then putting a broken piece of bread on a chair, and cramming it down the throat of the dog, who did not want it and was sick. This reminded Trimalchio of his duties, and he ordered them to bring in Scylax, ' the guardian of the house and the slaves." An enormous dog on a chain was at once led in, and on receiving a kick from the porter as a hint to lie down, he curled up in front of the table. Then Tri- malchio threw him a bit of white bread and said. No one in the house loves me better than Scylax." The favourite took offence at his lavish praise of the dog, and put down the puppy, and encouraged him to attack Scj'lax. Scylax, after the manner of dogs, filled the dining-room with a most hideous barking, and nearly tore Croesus's httle Pearl to pieces. And the uproar did not end with a dog-fight, for a lamp upset over the table, and broke all the glass to pieces, and sprinkled some of the guests ■\\'ith hot oil. Trimalchio did not want to seem hurt at his loss, so he kissed his favourite, and told him to jump on his back. He mounted his horse at once and went on smacking Trimalchio's shoulders with his open

JO»

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Bucca, bucca, quot sunt hie?" repressus ergo ali- quamdiu Trimalchio camellam grandem iussit misceri . . . potiones dividi omnibus servis, qui ad pedes sede- bant, adiecta exceptione: Si quis" inquit noluerit accipere, caput illi perfunde. Interdiu severa, nunc hilaria." 65 Hanc humanitatem insecutae sunt matteae, quarum etiam recordatio me, si qua est dicenti fides, ofFendit. Singulae enim gallinae altiles pro turdis circumlatae sunt et ova anserina pilleata, quae ut comessemus, ambitiosissime a nobis Trimalchio petiit dicens exossa- tas esse gallinas. Inter haec triclinii valvas liclor percussit, amictusque veste alba cum ingenti frequen- tia comissator intravit. Ego maiestate conterritus praetorem putabam venisse. Itaque temptavi assur- gere et nudos pedes in terram deferre. Risit hanc trepidation em Agamemnon et Con tine te" inquit homo stultissime. Habinnas sevir est idemque lapi- darius, qui videtur^ monumenta optime facere."

Recreatus hoc sermone reposui cubitum, Habin- namque intrantem cumadmiratione ingenti spectabam. I lie autem iam ebrius uxoris suae umeris imposuerat manus, oneratusque aliquot coronis et unguento per frontem in oculos fluente praetorio loco se posuit con-

' videtur Scheffer: videretur. 122

SATiRlCON

hand, saying, " How many are we, blind man's cheek? "^ After some time Trimalchio calmed himself, and or- dered a great bowl of wine to be mixed, and drinks to be served round to all the slaves, who were sitting at our feet, adding this provision : If anyone refuses to take it, pour it over his head ; business in the day- time and pleasure at night."

After this display of kindness, some savouries were brought in, the memory of which, as sure as I tell you this story, still makes me shudder. For instead of a tlirush a fat chicken was brought round to each of us, and goose-eggs in caps, which Trimalchio kept asking us to eat with the utmost insistence, saying that they were chickens without the bones. Mean- while a priest's attendant" knocked at the dining- room door, and a man dressed in white for some festivity came in with a number of others. I was frightened by his solemn looks, and thought the mayor had arrived. So I tried to get up and plant my bare feet on the ground. Agamemnon laughed at my anxiety and said, Control yourself, you silly fool ! It is Habinnas of the priests' college, a monu- mental mason with a reputation for making first-class tombstones." I was relieved by this news, and lay down in my place again, and watched Habinnas' entrance with great astonishment. He was quite drunk, and had put his hands on his wife's shoulders; he had several wreaths on, and ointment was running down his forehead into his eyes. He sat down in the

^ Bucca was a child's game (Hoodman Blind in English) where one child was blindfolded and the others touched him on the cheek, and asked him bow many fingers, or bow many children, bad touched him.

^ The attendant on a Sevir Augusti. See note, p. 43.

123

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

tinuoque vinum et caldam poposcit. Delectatus hac Trimalchio hilaritate et ipse capaciorem poposcit scyphum quaesivitque, quomodo acceptus asset. Omnia" inquit habuimus praeter te; oculi enim mei hie erant. Et mehercules bene fuit. Scissa lau- tum novendiale servo sue misello faciebat, quem mortuum manii miserat. Et puto^ cum vicensimariis magnam mantissam habet ; quinquaginta enim milli- bus aestimant mortuum. Sed tamen suaviter fuit, 66 etiam si coacti sumus dimidias potiones super ossucula eius efFundere." Tamen" inquit Trimalchio quid habuistis in cena ? " Dicam" inquit si potuero ; nam tam bonae memoriae sum, ut frequenter nomen meum obhviscar. Habuimus tamen in primo porcum poculo coronatum et circa saviunculum^ et gizeria optime facta et certe betam et panem autopyrum de suo sibi, quem ego malo quam candidum ; et vires facit, et cum mea re [causa] ^ facio, non ploro. Sequens ferculum fuit scribHta frigida et super mel caldum infusum ex- cellente Hispanum. Itaque de scriblita quidem non minimum edi, de melle me usque tetigi. Circa cicer et lupinum, calvae arbitratu et mala singula. Ego tamen duo sustuli et ecce in mappa alligata habeo; nam si aliquid muneris meo vernulae non tulero, ha- bebo convicium. Bene me admonet domina mea. In prospectu habuimus ursinae frustum, de quo cum im- prudens Scintilla gustasset, paene intestina sua vomu-

' saviunculum Hildehrand : saucunculum. "^ causa bracketed by Buecheler.

124

SATYRICON

chief magistrate's place,^ and at once called for wine and hot water. Trimalchio was delighted at his good humour, and demanded a larger cup for himself, and asked him how he had been received. We had everj'thing there except you," was the reply, for my eyes were here with you. Yes, it was really splendid. Scissa was ha\ing a funeral feast on the ninth day for her poor dear slave, whom she set free on his death- bed. And I believe she vriW have an enormous sum to pay the tax-collector, for they reckon that the dead man was worth fifty thousand.'^ But anyhow it was a pleasant affair, even if we did have to pour half our drinks over his lamented bones." Ah," 66 said Trimalchio, but what did you have for dinner?" I will tell you if I can," he said, but my memory is in such a fine way that I often forget my own name. Well, first we had a pig crowned with a A^ne-cup, gar- nished with honey cakes, and liver very well done, and beetroot of course, and pure wholemeal bread, which I prefer to white myself; it puts strength into 3'ou, and is good for the bowels. The next dish was a cold tart, with excellent Spanish wine poured over warm honey. Indeed I ate a lot of the tart, and gave myself such a soaking of honey. Pease and lupines were handed, a choice of nuts and an apple each. I took two myself, and I have got them here tied up in my napkin: for if I do not bring some present back for my pet slave-boy there will be trouble. Oh ! yes, my wife reminds me. There was a piece of bear on a side dish. Scintilla was rash

' The lowest seat on the middle couch, usually called the consul's seat, but here the highest official present took it.

She would pay a tax of 5 per cent, i.e. 2,500 sesterces, on

his value.

125

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITEk it ; ego contra plus libram comedi, nam ipsum aprum sapiebat. Et si, inquam, ursus homuncionem comest quanto magis homuncio debet ursum comesse? In summo habuimus caseum moll em ex sapa et coeleas singulas et cordae frusta et hepatia in catillis et ova pilleata et rapam et senape et catillum concacatum, pax Palamedes. Etiam in alveo circumlata sunt oxy- comina, unde quidam etiam improbe ternos pugnos ^ sustulerunt. Nam pernae missionem dedimus. Sed 67 narra mihi, Gai, rogo, Fortunata quare non recumbit ?"

Quomodo nosti" inquit illam" Trimalchio nisi

argentum composuerit, nisi reliquias pueris diviserit, aquam in os suum non coniciet." Atqui" respondit Habinnas nisi ilia discumbit, ego me apoculo" et coeperat surgere, nisi signo dato Fortunata quater amplius a tota familia esset vocata. Venit ergo galbino succincta eingillo, ita ut infra cerasina appareret tu- nica et periscelides tortae phaecasiaeque inauratae. Tunc sudario manus tergens, quod in collo habebat, applicat se illi toro, in quo Scintilla Habinnae dis- cumbebat uxor, osculataque plaudentem est te" inquit videre?"

Eo deinde perventura est, ut Fortunata armillas suas crassissimis detraheret lacertis Scintillaeque miranti ostenderet. Ultimo etiam periscelides resolvit

■ improbiter nos pugno corrected by Buecheler. 126

SATYRICON

enough to taste it^ and nearly brought up her own inside. I ate over a pound myself, for it tasted like proper wild boar. What I say is this, since bears eat up us poor men, how much better right has a poor man to eat up a bear ? To finish up with we had cheese mellowed in new wine, and snails all round, and pieces of tripe, and liver in little dishes, and eggs in caps, and turnip, and mustard, and a dish of forcemeat. But hold hard, Palamedes.^ Pickled olives were brought round in a dish too, and some greedy creatxu-es took three handfuls. For we had let the ham go. But 67 tell me, Gaius, why is Fortunata not at dinner?"

Do you not know her better?" said Trimalchio.

Until she has collected the silver, and divided the remains among the slaves, she will not let a drop ol water pass her lips." Oh," replied Habinnas, but unless she is here I shall take myself off," and he was just getting up, when at a given signal all the slaves called Fortunata" four times and more. So she came in with a high yellow waist-band on, which al- lowed a cherry-red bodice to appear under it, and twisted anklets, and white shoes embroidered with gold. She wiped her hands on a cloth which she had round her neck, took her place on the sofa, where Scintilla, Habinnas' s wife, was lying, kissed her as she was clapping her hands, and said, ' Is it really you, dear?"

Fortunata then went so far as to take the bracelets off her fat arms to exhibit them to Scintilla's admir- ing gaze. At last she even took off her anklets

' Pax is an exclamation unconnected with the noun paxy "peace." The meaning of its conjunction with the word Palamedes is unknown : it may be merely due to the charm of alliteration.

127

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

et reticulum aureum, quern ex obrussa esse dicebat. Notavit haec Trimalchio iussitque afferri omnia et

Videtis" inquit mulieris compedes: sicnos barcalae despoliamur. Sex pondo et selibram debet habere. Et ipse nihilo minus habeo decem pondo armillam ex millesimis Mercurii factam." Ultimo etiam, ne mentiri videretur, stateram iussit afFerri et circumlatum ap- probari pondus. Nee melior Scintilla, quae de cervice sua capsellam detraxit aureolam, quam Felicionem appellabat. Inde duo crotalia protulit et Fortunatae in vicem consideranda dedit et Domini" inquit mei beneficio nemo habet meliora." Quid?" inquit Ha- binnas excatarissasti me, ut tibi emerem fabam vi- tream. Plane si filiam haberem, auriculas illi praeci- derem. Mulieres si non essent, omnia pro luto habe- remus; nunc hoe est caldum meiere et frigidum potare."

Interim mulieres sauciae inter se risenint ebriaeque iunxerunt oscula, dum altera diligentiam matris familiae iactat, altera delicias et indiligentiam viri. Dumque sic cohaerent, Habinnas furtim consurrexit pedesque Fortunatae correptos super lectum immisit.

Au au" ilia proclamavit aberrante tunica super genua. Composita ergo in gremio Scintillae incensissi- mam^ rubore faciem sudario abscondit. 68 Interposito deinde spatio cum secundas mensas Trimalchio iussisset afFerri, sustulerunt servi omnes mensas et alias attulerunt, scobemque croco et minio tinctam sparserunt et, quod nunquam ante videram,

' incensissimam Reinesius; indecens imam. 128

SATYRICON

and her hair-net, which she said was eighteen carat. Trimalchio saw her, and ordered the whole lot to be brought to him. There," he said, are a woman's fetters ; that is how we poor fools^ are plundered. She must have six pounds and a half of gold on her. I have got a bracelet myself, made out of the per- centage which I owe to Mercury, that weighs not an ounce under ten pounds." At last, for fear we should think he was lying, he ordered the scales to be brought, and had the weight carried round and tested. Scintilla was just as bad. She took off a little gold box from her neck, which she called her lucky box. Then she brought out two earrings, and gave them to Fortunata to look at in her turn, and said. Thanks to my hus- band's kindness, nobody has finer ones." WTiat?" said Habinnas, you bullied me to buy you a glass bean. I declare if I had a daughter I would cut oft her ears. If there were no women^ we should never trouble about anything: as it is, we sweat for them and get cold thanks."

Meanwhile the tipsy wives laughed together, and gave each other drunken kisses, one prating of her prudence as a housewife, the other of the favourites of her husband and his inattention to her. \Miile they were hobnobbing, Habinnas got up quietly, took For- tunata by the legs, and threw her over on the sofa. She shouted out. Oh I goodness ! " and her dress flew up over her knees. She took refuge in Scintilla's arms, and buried her burning red face in a napkin.

After an interval, Trimalchio ordered fresh relays 68

of food to be brought in. The slaves took away all the

tables, brought in others, and sprinkled about sawdust

coloured with saffron and vermilion, and, what I had

^Barcala is akin to bardus and barOy meaning' ' ' a blockhead."

K 129

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

ex lapide speculari pulverem tritum. Statim Trimal- chio poteram quidem" inquit "hoc fericulo esse contentus; secundas enim mensas habetis. Sed si quid belli habes, affer."

Interim puer Alexandrinus, qui caldam ministrabat,

luscinias coepit imitari clamante Trimalchione subinde :

Muta." Ecce alius ludus. Servus qui ad pedes Ha-

binnae sedebat, iussus, credo, a domino suo proclama-

vit subito canora voce :

Interea medium Aeneas iam classe tenebat." Nullus sonus unquam acidior percussit aures meas; nam praeter errantis barbariae aut adiectum aut de- minutum clamorem miscebat Atellanicos versus, ut tunc primum me etiam Vergilius ofFenderit. Plausum ^ tamen, cum aliquando desisset/ adiecit Habinnas et nunquam"^ inquit didicit, sed ego ad circulatores eum mittendo erudibam.* Itaque parem non habet, sive muliones volet sive circulatores imitari. Despe- ratum^ valde ingeniosus est: idem sutor est, idem cocus idem pistor, omnis musae mancipium. Duo tamen vitia habet, quae si non haberet, esset omnium numerum : recutitus est et stertit. Nam quod stra- bonus est, non euro : sicut Venus spectat. Ideo nihil 69 tacet, vix oculo mortuo unquam. Ilium emi trecentis denariis." Interpellavit loquentem Scintilla et plane " inquit non omnia artificia servi nequam narras. Agaga est; at curabo, stigmam habeat." Risit Tri- malchio et adcognosco" inquit Cappadocem: nihil

' plausum Buecheler: lassus.

desisset Scheffer: dedisset.

'nunquam inquit Buecheler: nunquid.

erudibamyhAM/ audibant.

' desperatum Buecheler; desperatus.

ISO

SATYRICON

never seen before, powdered tale. Trimalchio at once said, I might really be satisfied with this course ; for you have got j'our fresh relays. But if there is any- thing nice, put it on."

Meanwhile a boy from Alexandria, who was handing hot water, began to imitate a nightingale, and made Trimalchio shout, ' Oh ! change the tune." Then there was another joke. A slave, who was sitting at the feet of Habinnas, began, by his master's orders I suppose, suddenly to crj' in a loud voice :

Now A\ith his fleet Aeneas held the main."* No sharper sound ever pierced my ears ; for besides his making barbarous mistakes in raising or lowering his voice, he mixed up Atellane verses^ with it, so that Virgil jarred on me for the first time in my life. All the same, Habinnas supplied applause when he had at last left off, and said. He never went to school, but I educated him by sending him round the hawkers in the market. So he has no equal when he wants to imitate mule-drivers or hawkers. He is terribly clever; he is a cobbler too, a cook, a confectioner, a slave of all the talents. He has only two faults, and if he were rid of them he would be simply perfect. He is a Jew and he snores. For I do not mind his being cross-eyed ; he has a look like Venus. So that is why he cannot keep silent, and scarcely ever shuts his eyes. I bought him for three hundred denarii." Scintilla interrupted his story by saying, To be sure 69 you have forgotten some of the tricks of the vile slave. He is a Don Juan; but I will see to it that he is branded." Trimalchio laughed and said, "Oh! I perceive he is a Cappadocian ; he does not deny himself, ' See Virgil, ^neid V, i, 'Comic verse; probably improper. See note, p. 95.

k2 131

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

sibi defraudit, et mehercules laudo ilium; hoc enim nemo parentat. Tu autem, Scintilla, noli zelotypa esse. Crede mihi, et vos novimus. Sic me salvum habeatis, ut ego sic solebam ipsumam meam debat- tuere, ut etiam dominus suspicaretur ; et ideo me in vilicationem relegavit. Sed tace, lingua, dabo panem." Tanquam laudatus esset nequissimus servus, lucernam de sinu fictilem protulit et amplius semihora tubicines imitatus est succinente Habinna et inferius labrum manu deprimente. Ultimo etiam in medium processit et modo harundinibus quassis choraulas imitatus est, modo lacernatus cum flagello mulionum fata egit, donee vocatum ad se Habinnas basiavit, potionemque illi porrexit et Tan to melior" in quit Massa, dona tibi caligas."

Nee ullus tot malorum finis fuisset, nisi epidipnis esset allata, turdi siliginei uvis passis nucibusque farsi. Insecuta sunt Cydonia etiam mala spinis confixa, ut echinos efficerent. Et haec quidem tolerabilia erant, si non fericulum longe monstrosius efFecisset, ut vel fame perire mallemus. Nam cum positus esset, ut nos putabamus, anser altilis circaque pisces et omnia genera avium, 'Amici"^ inquit Trimalchio quicquid videtis hie positum, de uno corpore est factum." Ego, scilicet homo prudentissimus, statim intellexi quid esset, et respiciens Agamemnonem "mirabor" inquam nisi omnia ista de fimo facta sunt aut certe de luto. Vidi Romae Saturnalibus eiusmodi 70 cenarumimaginem fieri." Necdum finieram sermon em, cum Trimalchio ait: Ita crescam patrimonio, non

^ amici added by Buecheler. ' fimo added by Buecheler,

1S2

SATYRICON

and, upon my word, I admire him ; for no one can send a dead man any fun. And please do not be jealous. Scintilla. Take my word for it, we know you women too. By my hope of salvation, I used to amuse my own mistress, until even the master became suspicious ; and so he banished me to a country stewardship. But peace, my tongue, and you shall have some bread." The worthless slave took a clay lamp out of his dress, as if he had been comphmented, and imitated trumpe- ters for more than half an hour, Habinnas singing with him and pulling his lower lip down. Finallj', he came right into the middle of the room, and shook a pipe of reeds in imitation of flute-players, or gave us the mule-driver's life, with a cloak and a whip, till Habinnas called him and gave him a kiss, and offered him a drink, saying, Better than ever, Massa. I will give you a pair of boots."

There would have been no end to our troubles if a last course had not been brought Ln, thrushes made of fine meal and stuffed with raisins and nuts. There followed also quinces, stuck all over with thorns to look like sea-urchins. We could have borne this, if a far more fantastic dish had not driven us even to prefer death by starvation. What we took to be a fat goose, MTith fish and all kinds of birds round it, was put on, and then Trimalchio said, " My friends, what- ever you see here on the table is made out of one body." With my usual intelligence, I knew at once what it was; I looked at Agamemnon and said, "l shall be surprised if the whole thing is not made out of filth, or at any rate clay. I have seen sham dinners of this kind ser\'ed in Rome at the Saturnalia." I had not finished speaking when Trimalchio said, "As 70 I hope to grow in gains and not in girth, my cook

1?S

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

corpore, ut ista cocus meus de porco fecit. Non potest esse pretiosior homo. Volueris, de vulva faciet piscem, de lardo palumbum, de perna turturem, de colaepio gallinam. Et ideo ingenio meo impositum est illi no- men bellissimum; nam Daedalus vocatur. Et quia bonam mentem habet, attuli illi Roma munus cultros Norico ferro." Quos statim iussit afFerri inspeetosque miratus est. Etiam nobis potestatem fecit, ut mucro- nem ad buccam probaremus.

Subito intraverunt duo servi, tanquam qui rixam ad lacum fecissent; certe in collo^ adhuc amphoras habebant. Cum ergo Trimalehio ius inter litigantes diceret, neuter sententiam tulit decernentis, sed alte- rius amphoram fuste percussit. Consternati nos inso- lentia ebriorum intentavimus oculos in proeliantes notavimusque ostrea pectinesque e gastris labentia, quae collecta puer lance circumtulit. Has lautitias aequavit ingeniosus cocus ; in craticula enim argentea cochleas attulit et tremula taeterrimaque voce cantavit.

Pudet referre, quae secuntur: inaudito enim more pueri capillati attulerunt unguentum in argentea pelve pedesque recumbentium unxerunt, cum ante crura talosque corollis vinxissent. Hinc ex eodem unguento in vinarium atque lucernam aliquantum ^ est infusum.

lam coeperat Fortunata velle saltare, iam Scintilla frequentius plaudebat quam loquebatur, cum Trimal- ehio "Permitto" inquit Philargyre et Carlo, etsi

^collo Heinsius: loco, ^aliquantum Heinsius; liquatum.

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SATYRICON

made the whole thing out of a pig. There could not be a more valuable fellow. If you want it, he will make you a fish out of a sow's belly, a woodpigeon out of bacon, a turtledove out of a ham, and a chicken out of a knuckle of pork. That gave me the idea of putting a very pretty name on him; he is called Daedalus.^ And because he is so intelligent, I brought him back from Rome some knives, made of steel of Noricum, as a present." He had these knives brought in at once, and contemplated them with admiration. He even allowed us to trj' the edge on our cheeks.

Suddenly two slaves came in who had apparently been fighting at a water-tank ; at least they still had waterpots on their necks. Trimalchio sat in judgment on the dispute, but neither of them accepted his decision, and they smashed each other's waterpots with sticks. We were amazed at their drunken folly, and stared at them fighting, and then we saw oysters and cockles fall out of the pots, and a boy picked them up and brought them round on a dish. The clever cook was a match for this exhibition ; he offered us snails on a silver gridiron, and sang in an extremely ugly quavering voice.

I am ashamed to tell j'ou what followed : in defiance of all convention, some long-haired boys brought oint- ment in a silver basin, and anointed our feet as we lay, after -H-inding little garlands round our feet and ankles. A quantity of the same ointment was then poured into the mixing-bowl and the lamp.

Fortunata had now grown anxious to dance ; Scin- tilla clapped her hands more often than she spoke, when Trimalchio said, " Philargyrus, you and Cario,

' A commoo nickname for a Jack of all trades.

135

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

prasinianus es famosus, die et Menophilae, contuber-

nali tuae, discumbat." Quid multa? paene de lectis

deiecti sumus, adeo totum triclinium familia occupa-

verat. Certe ego notavi super me positum coeum,

qui de porco anserem fecerat, muria condimentisque

fetentem. Nee contentus fuit recumbere, sed continuo

Ephesum tragoedum coepit imitari et subinde domi-

i< . . . .

num suum sponsione provocare si prasmus proximis

circensibus primam palmam."

71 Diffusus hac contentione Trimalchio amici" inquit

et servi homines sunt et aeque unum lactem bibe-

runt, etiam si illos malus fatus oppressit.^ Tamen me

salvo cito aquam liberam gustabunt. Ad summam,

omnes illos in testamento meo manu mitto. Philargyro

etiam fundum lego et contubernalem suam, Carioni

quoque insulam et vicesimam et lectum stratum. Nam

Fortunatam meam heredem facio, et commendo illam

omnibus amicis meis. Et haee ideo omnia publico, ut

familia mea iam nunc sic me amet tanquam mortuum."

Gratias agere omnes indulgentiae coeperant domini,

cum ille oblitus nugarum exemplar testament! iussit

afFerri et totum a primo ad ultimum ingemescente

familia recitavit. Respiciens deinde Habinnam quid

dicis" inquit amice cai'issime? Aedificas monumen-

tum meum, quemadmodum te iussi ? Valde te rogo,

ut secundum pedes statuae meae catellam ponas^ et

coronas et unguenta et Petraitis omnes pugnas, ut

'oppressit Btiecheler: oppresserit. ^ ponas Buecheler: pingas.

136

SATYRICON

though you are a damned wearer of the green/ may sit down and tell your good woman, Menophila, to do the same." I need hardly say that we were nearly pushed off the sofas with the slaves crowding into every seat. Anyhow, I noticed that the cook, who had made a goose out of the pig, sat stinking of pickle and sauces just above me. Not satisfied with ha\-ing a seat, he at once began to imitate the tragedian Ephesus, and then invited his own master to make a bet on the green being first in the next games.

Trimalchio cheered up at this dispute and said, 71

Ah, my friends, a sla\e is a man and drank his mother's milk Like ourselves, even if cruel fate has trodden him down. Yes, and if I live they shall soon taste the water of freedom. In fact I am setting them all free in my will. I am leaving a property and his good woman to Philargyrus as well, and to Cario a block of buildings, and his manumission fees, and a bed and bedding. I am making Fortunata my heir, and I recommend her to all my friends. I am making all this known so that my slaves may love me now as it I were dead." They all began to thank their master for his kindness, when he turned serious, and had a copy of the will brought in, which he read aloud from beginning to end, while the slaves moaned and groaned. Then he looked at Habinnas and said, " Now tell me, my dear friend : you wiU erect a monument as I have directed? I beg you earnestly to put up round the feet of my statue my little dog, and some wreaths, and bottles of perfume, and all the fights of Petraites,^

1 These persons were two of Trimalchio's slaves. Trimal- chio addresses one of them, Philargyrus, as a supporter of the green colours in competitions in the circus. Competitors wore four colours, blue, green, white, and red.

'See note, p. 91.

137

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER mihi contingat tuo beneficio post mortem vivere; praeterea ut sint in fronte pedes centum^ in agrum pedes ducenti. Omne genus enim poma volo sint circa cineres meos, et vinearum largiter. Valde enim falsum est vivo quidem domos cultas esse, non curari eas, ubi diutius nobis habitandum est. Et ideo ante omnia adici volo: hoc monumentum heredem non sequitur.'^ Ceterum erit mill icurae, ut testamento caveam, ne mortuus iniuriam accipiam. Praeponam enim unum ex libertis sepulcro meo custodiae causa, ne in monumentum meum populus cacatum currat.

Te rogo, ut naves etiam monumenti mei

facias plenis velis euntes, et me in tribunali sedentem praetextatum cum aimlis aureis quinque et nummos in publico de sacculo efFundentem; scis enim, quod epu- lum dedi binos denarios. Faciatur, si tibi videtur, et triclinia. Facias et totum populum sibi suaviter faci- entem. Ad dexteram meam ponas statuam Fortunatae meae columbam tenentem : et catellam cingulo alliga- tam ducat : et cicaronem meum, et amphoras copiosas gypsatas, ne effluant vinum. Et urnam licet fractam sculpas, et super eam puerum plorantem. Horologium in medio, ut quisquis horas inspiciet, velit nolit, nomen

^ sequitur Buecheler : sequatur. The phrase, like in fronte and in agfrum above, is written with Horace Satires i, 8, 12-13, in mind. H.M.H.N.S. is a common inscription on tombs,

138

SATYRICON

so that your kindness may bring me a life afte^ ^eath ; and I want the monument to have a frontage of one hundred feet and to be two hundred feet in depth. For I should hke to have all kinds of fruit growing round my ashes, and plenty of vines. It is quite Avrong for a man to decorate his house while he is alive, and not to trouble about the house where he must make a longer stay. So above all things I want added to the inscription. This monument is not to descend to my heir.' I shall certainly take care to provide in my will against any injury being done to me when I am dead. I am appointing one of the freedmen to be caretaker of the tomb and prevent the common peo- ple from running up and defiling it. I beg you to put ships in full sail on the monument, and me sitting in official robes on my official seat, wearing five gold rings and distributing coin publicly out of a bag ; ^ /ou remember that I gave a free dinner worth two denarii a head. I should like a dining-room table put in too, if you can arrange it. And let me have the whole people there enjoying themselves. On my right hand put a statue of dear Fortunata holding a dove, and let her be leading a httle dog >\ith a waistband on ; and my dear little boy, and big jars sealed with gyp- sum, so that the wine may not run out. And have a broken urn canned with a boy weeping over it. And a sundial in the middle, so that an}one who looks at the time will read my name whether he likes it or

^ Members of the college of Augustus were allowed on im- portant public occasions to sit on a throne and to wear a toga praetexta. Trimalchio may have earned the right to wear gold rings by giving a public dinner: after his term of office as a Sevir Augusti (see note, p. 43) expired, he would not be entitled to wear them. See c. 32, where he wears a ring made to look like gold at a distance

139

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER meum legat. Inscriptio quoque vide diligenter si haec satis idonea tibi videtur: "C. Pompeius Trimal- chio Maecenatianus hie requiescit. Huic seviratus absenti decretus est. Cum posset in omnibus decuriis Romae esse, tamen noluit. Pius, fortis, fidelis, ex parvo crevit, sestertium reliquit trecenties, nee un- quam philosophum audivit. Vale : et tu.' " 72 Haec ut dixit Trimalchio, flere coepit ubertim. Flebat et Fortunata, flebat et Habinnas, tota denique familia^ tanquam in funus rogata, lamentatione tricli- nium implevit. Immo iam coeperam etiam ego plo- rare, cum Trimalchio Ergo " inquit cum sciamus nos morituros esse, quare non vivamus? Sic vos feli- ces videam, coniciamus nos in balneum, meo periculo, non paenitebit. Sic calet tanquam fiirnus." Vero, vero," inquit Habinnas de una die duas facere, nihil malo" nudisque consurrexit pedibus et Trimalchionem plaudentem^ subsequi coepit.

Ego respiciens ad Aseylton "Quid cogitas?" inquam "ego enim si videro balneum, statim expirabo." "Assentemur" ait ille "et dum illi balneum petunt,

1 plaudentem Jacobs : gaudentem. 140

SATYRICON

not. And again, please think carefully whether this in scription seems to you quite appropriate : Here Heth Caius Pompeius Trimalchio, freedman of Maecenas.^ The degree of Priest of Augustus was conferred upon him in his absence. He might have been attendant on any magistrate in Rome, but refused it.^ God-fearing, gallant, constant, he started with very little and left thirty millions. He never listened to a philosopher. Fare thee well, Trimalchio: and thou too, passer-by.' "

After saying this, Trimalchio began to weep floods 72 of tears. Fortunata wept, Habinnas wept, and then all the slaves began as if they had been invited to his funeral, and filled the dining-room -svith lamentation. I had even begun to lift up my voice myself, when Trimalchio said. Well, well, if we know we must die, why should we not live ? As I hope for your happi- ness, let us jump into a bath. My Hfe on it, you will never regret it. It is as hot as a furnace." Very true, very true," said Habinnas, making two days out of one is my chief delight." And he got up with bare feet and began'to follow Trimalchio, who was clapping his hands.

I looked at Ascyltos and said, WTiat do you think ? I shall die on the spot at the very sight of a bath."

Oh! let us say yes," he replied, ' and we will shp

^Trimalchio was allowed to have this name because he had been in the service of a master named Maecenas before he became a slave in the family of the Pompeii. Slaves were allowed to retain their old master's name on transfer in order to prevent confusion arising from similarities in their names where they were very numerous.

^ Trimalchio boasts that if he had chosen to go to Rome as a freedman he could have become a member of the decuries, the orders or gfuilds which supplied the lower branches of the public service, e.g. lictors, scribes, criers, and street oflScers.

141

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

nos in turba exeamus." Cum haec placuissent, du- cente per porticum Gitone ad ianuam venimus, ubi canis catenarius tanto nos tumultu excepit, ut Ascyltos etiam in piscinam ceciderit. Nee non ego quoque ebriuSj qui etiam pictum timueram canem^ dum na- tanti opem fero, in eundem gurgitem tractus sum. Servavit nos tamen atriensis, qui interventu suo et canem placavit et nos trementes extraxit in siccum. Et Giton quidem iam dudum se ratione acutissima re- demerat a cane ; quicquid enim a nobis acceperat de cena, latranti sparserat, [at] ille avocatus cibo furorem suppresserat. Ceterum cum algentes utique petis- semus ab atriense, ut nos extra ianuam emitteret, Erras " inquit si putas te exire hac posse, qua ve- nisti. Nemo unquam convi varum per eandem ianuam emissus est; alia intrant, alia exeunt." Quid faciamus 73 homines miserrimi et novi generis labyrintho inclusi, quibus lavari iam coeperat votum esse? Ultro ergo rogavimus, ut nos ad balneum duceret, proiectisque vestimentis, quae Giton in aditu siccare coepit, balne- um intravimus, angustum scilicet et cisternae frigida- riae simile, in quo Trimalchio rectus stabat. Ac ne sic quidem putidissimam eius iactationem^ licuit eifu- gere ; nam nihil melius esse dicebat quam sine turba lavari, et eo ipso loco aliquando pistrinum fuisse. Deinde ut lassatus consedit, invitatus balnei sono diduxit usque ad cameram os ebrium et coepit Mene- cratis cantica lacerare, sicut illi dicebant, qui linguam

eius lactationem Heinsius : ei actionem.

142

SATY EICON

away in the crowd while they are looking for the bath." This was agreed, and Giton led us through the gallery to the door, where the dog on the chain welcomed us with such a noise that Ascjltos fell straight into the fish-pond. As I, who had been terrified even of a painted dog, was drunk too, I fell into the same abyss while I was helping him in his struggles to swim. But the porter saved us by intervening to pacify the dog, and pulled us shivering on to drj' land. Giton had ransomed him- self from the dog some time before by a very cunning plan; when it barked he threw it all the pieces we had given him at dinner, anfl food distracted the beast from his anger. But when, chilled to the bone, we asked the porter at least to let us out of the door, he replied, ' You are wrong if you suppose you can go out at the door you came in by. None of the guests are ever let out by the same door ; they come in at one and go out by another." There was nothing to be 73 done, we were victims enwound in a new labjTinth, and the idea of washing had begun to grow pleasant, so we asked him instead to show us the bath, and after throwing off our clothes, which Giton began to dry in the front hall, we went in. It was a tiny place like a cold-water cistern, and Trimalchio was standing upright in it. We were not allowed to escape his filthy bragging even there; he declared that there was nothing nicer than washing out of a crowd, and told us that there had once been a bakery on that very spot. He then became tired and sat down, and the echoes of the bathroom encouraged him to open his tipsy jaws to the ceiling and begin to murder Mene- crates's songs,' as I was told by those who could under-

' Menecrates was specially honoured by Nero (Suetonius, Neto, c. 3d).

143

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

eius intcilegebant. Ceteri convivae circa labrum maiiibus nexis currebant et gingilipho ingenti clamore exsonabant. Alii autem [aut] restrictis manibus anu- los de pavimento conabantur tollere aut posito genu cervices post terga flectere et pedum extremes polli- ces tangere. Nos, dum alii sibi ludos faciunt, in solium, quod Trimalchioni vaporabatur/ descendimus.

Ergo ebrietate discussa in aliud triclinium deducti sumus, ubi Fortunata disposuerat lautitias [suas] ^ Ita ut supra lucernas . . . aeneolosque piscatores notaverim et mensas totas argenteas calicesque circa fictiles inauratos et vinum in conspectu sacco defluens. Tum Trimalchio Amici" inquit hodie servus meus barbatoriam fecit, homo praefiscini frugi et micarius. 74 Itaque tangomenas facianius et usque in lucem cene- mus." Haec dicente eo gallus gallinaceus cantavit. Qua voce confusus Trimalchio vinum sub mensa iussit efFundi lucernamque etiam mero spargi. Immo anu- lum traiecit in dexteram manum et non sine causa" inquit hie bucinus signum dedit ; nam aut incendium oportet fiat, aut aliquis in vicinia animam abiciet. Longe a nobis. Itaque quisquis hunc indicem attulerit, eorollarium accipiet." Dicto citius de vicinia gallus allatus est, quem Trimalchio occidi ^ iussit, ut aeno co- ctus fieret. Laceratus igitur ab illo doctissimo coco, qui paulo ante de porco aves piscesque fecerat, in caeca- bum est coniectus. Dumque Daedalus potionem fer-

Waporabatur Buecheler: pervapatur (»'« marg. paraba- tur).

^ suas marked for deletion in MS.

occidi added by Buecheler.

144

SATY EICON

stand what he said. Other guests joined hands and ran round the edge of the bath, roaring with obstreperous laughter at the top of their voices. Some again had their hands tied behind their backs and tried to pick up rings from the floor, or knelt do^^Ti and bent their heads backwards and tried to touch the tips of their toes. While the others were amusing them- selves, we went down into a deep bath which was being heated for Trimalchio.

Then, ha\-ing got rid of the effects of our liquor, we were led into another dining-room, where Fortunata had laid out her treasures, so that over the lamps I saw .... little bronze fishermen, and tables of solid silver, and china cups with gold settings, and wine being strained through a cloth before our eyes. Then Tri- malchio said, " Gentlemen, a slave of mine is cele- brating his first shave to-day : an honest, cheese- paring fellow, in a good hour be it spoken. So let us drink deep^ and keep up dinner till dawn."

Just as he was speaking, a cock crew. The noise 74 upset Trimalchio, and he had wine poured under the table, and even the lamp sprinkled with pure wine. Further, he changed a ring on to his right hand, and said. That trumpeter does not give his signal >nthout a reason. Either there must be a fire, or some one close by is just going to give up the ghost. Lord, save us I So anyone who catches the informer shall have a reward." He had scarcely spoken, when the cock was brought in from somewhere near. Trimalchio ordered him to be killed and cooked in a saucepan. So he was cut up by the learned cook who had made birds and fishes out of a pig a little while before, and thrown into a cooking-pot. And while Daedalus took a long ' See note, p. 51. L 145

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

ventissimam haurit, Fortunata mola buxea piper trivit. Sumptis igitur matteis respiciens ad familiam Tri- inalchio Quid vos" inquit adhuc non cenastis? Abite, ut alii veniant ad officium." Subiit igitur alia classis, et illi quidem exclamavere : "Vale Gai/' hi autem: Ave Gai." Hinc primum hilaritas nostra turbata est; nam cum puer non inspeciosus inter novos intrasset ministros, invasit eum Trimalehio et osculari diutius coepit. Itaque Fortunata, ut ex aequo ius firmum approbaret, male dicere Ti'imalchioni coepit et purgamentum dedeeusque praedicare, qui non contineret libidinem suam. Ultimo etiam adiecit : canis." Trimalehio contra offensus convicio calicem in faciem Fortunatae immisit. Ilia tanquam oculum perdidissetj exclamavit manusque trementes ad faciem suam admovit. Consternata est etiam Scintilla trepi- dantemque sinu suo texit. Immo puer quoque officio- sus urceolum frigidum ad malam eius admovit, super quem incumbens Fortunata gemere ac flere coepit. Contra Trimalehio Quid enim?" inquit ambubaia non meminit,^ sed de ^ machina ^ illam sustuli, hominem inter homines feci. At inflat se tanquam rana, et in sinum suum non spuit/ codex, non mulier. Sed hie, qui in pergula natus est, aedes non somniatur. Ita genium meum propitium habeam, curabo, domata sit Cassandra caligaria. Et ego, homo dipundiarius, ses- tertium centies accipere potui. Scis tu me non men- tiri. Agatho, unguentarius herae proximae, seduxit me et ' Suadeo ' inquit non patiaris genus tuum inter- ire.' At ego dum bonatus ago et nolo videri levis,

' meminit Heinsius: me misit. '^sed de Buecheler: sede. ^machina Reiske: machillam.

non spuit Reiske: conspuit.

146

SATYRICON

drink very hot, Fortunata ground up pepper in a box- wood mill.

After the good things were done, Trimalchio looked at the slaves and said. Why have you not had dinner yet? Be off, and let some others come and wait." So another brigade appeared, and the old lot shouted, Gaius, good-bye," and the new ones, 'Hail! Gaius." After this, our jollity received its first shock ; a rather comely boy came in among the fresh waiters, and Trimalchio took him and began to kiss him warmly. So Fortunata, to assert her rights at law, began to abuse Trimalchio, and called him a dirty disgrace for not behaving himself. At last she even added, " You hound." Her cursing annoyed Trimalchio, and he let fly a cup in her face. She shrieked as if her eye had been put out, and lifted her trembling hands to her face. Scintilla was frightened too, and shielded her quivering friend ^\ith her arms. WTiile an officious slave held a cool little jar to her cheek, Fortunata leaned over it and began to groan and cry. But Tri- malchio said, WTiat is it all about? This chorus-girl has no memory, yet I took her off the sale-platform and made her one of ourselves. But she puffs herself up Uke a frog, and will not spit for luck ; a log she is, not a woman. But if you were born in a slum you cannot sleep in a palace. Damn my soul if I do not properly tame this shameless Cassandra.^ And I might have married ten million, wretched fool that I was'. You know I am speaking the truth. Agatho, the perfumer of the rich woman next door, took me aside and said, I entreat you not to let your family die out.' But I, being a good chap, didn't wish to

^ Cassandra is a type of passion, and a Cassandra in top- boots (^caligarta) is a brutal, strong- woman.

l2 147

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER ipse mihi asciam in crus impegi. Recte, curabo, me unguibus quaeras. Et ut depraesentiarum intelligas, quid tibi feceris : Habinna, nolo, statuam eius in monu- mento meo ponas, ne mortuus quidem lites habeam. Immo, ut sciat me posse malum dare, nolo, me mor- tuum basiet." 75 Post hoc fulmen Habinnas rogare coepit> ut iam HLdesineret irasci et | "Nemo" inquit 'nostrum non H peccat. Homines sumus, non dei." | Idem et Scintilla flens dixit ac per genium eius Gaium appellando rogare coepit, ut se frangeret.^ Non tenuit ultra lacri- mas Trimalchio et Rogo" inquit Habinna, sic pecu- lium tuum fruniscaris : si quid perperam feci, in faciem meam inspue. Puerum basiavi frugalissimum, non propter formam, sed quia frugi est: decem partes dicit, librum ab oculo legit, thraecium sibi de diariis fecit, arcisellium de suo paravit et duas trullas. Non est dignus quem in oculis feram ? sed Fortunata vetat. Ita tibi videtur, fulcipedia? suadeo, bonum tuum con- coquas, milva, et me non facias ringentem, amasiun- cula: alioquin ex perieris cerebrum meum. Nostime: quod semel destinavi, clavo tabular! fixum est. Sed vivorum meminerimus. Vos rogo, amici, ut vobis sua- viter sit. Nam ego quoque tam fui quam vos estis, sed virtute mea ad hoc perveni. Corcillum est quod ho- mines facit, cetera quisquilia omnia. Bene emo, bene vendo ' ; alius alia vobis dicet. Felicitate dissilio.

• se frangeret Heinsius; effrangeret, 148

SATY EICON

seem fickle, and so I have stuck the axe into my own leg. Very well, I will make you want to dig me up with your finger-nails. But you shall understand what you have done for yourself straight away. Habinnas, do not put any statue of her on my tomb, or I shall have nagging even when I am dead. And to show that I can do her a bad turn, I will not have her kiss me even when I am laid out."

After this flash of lightning Habinnas began to im- 75 plore him to moderate his wrath. We all have our faults," he said, we are men, not angels." Scintilla cried and said the same, called him Gaius and besought him by his guardian angel to unbend. Trimalchio no longer restrained his tears, and said, Habinnas, please, as you hope to enjoy your money, spit in my face if I have done anything wrong. I kissed that excellent boy not because he is beautiful, but because he is excellent: he can do division and read books at sight, he has bought a suit of Thracian armour out of his day's wages, purchased a round-backed chair with his own money, and two ladles. Does he not deserve to be treated well by me ? But Fortunata will not have it. Is that your feeling, my high-heeled hussy? I adWse you to chew what you have bitten off, you \Tilture, and not make me show my teeth, my little dear: otherwise you shall know what my anger is. . Mark my woi'ds : when once my mind is made up, the thing is fixed with a ten-inch nail. But we will thuik of the living. Please make yourselves comfortable, gentlemen. I was once just what you are, but by my own merits I have come to this. A bit of sound sense is what makes men; the rest is all rubbish. I buy well and sell well ' : some people will tell you differently. I am bursting with happiness.

149

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Tu autem^ sterteia^ etiamnum ploras? iam curabo, fatum tuum plores. Sed, ut coeperam dicere, ad hanc me fortunam frugalitas mea perduxit. Tarn ma- gnus ex Asia veni, quam hie candelabrus est. Ad summam, quotidie me solebam ad ilium metiri, et ut celerius rostrum barbatum haberem, labra de lucerna ungebam. Tamen ad delicias [femina]^ ipsimi [domini] annos quattuordecim fui. Nee turpe est, quod dominus iubet. Ego tamen et ipsimae [dominae] satis faciebam. ScitiSj quid dicam : taceo, quia non sum de gloriosis. 76 Ceterum, quemadmodnm di volunt, dominus in domo factus sum, et ecce cepi ip<5imi cerebellum. Quid multa? coheredem me Caesari fecit, et accepi patri- monium laticlavium. Nemini tamen nihil satis est. Concupivi negotiari. Ne multis vos morer, quinque naves aedifieuvi, oneravi vinum — et tunc erat contra aurum — misi Romam. Putares me hoc iussisse : omnes naves naufraganint, factum, non fabula. Uno die Neptunus trecenties sestertium devoravit. Putatis me defecisse? Non mehercules mi haec iactura gusti fuit, tanquam nihil facti. Alteras feci maiores et me- liores et feliciores, ut nemo non me virum fortem diceret. Scitis, magna navis magnam fortitudinem habet. Oneravi rursus vinum, lardum, fabam, sepla- sium, mancipia. Hoc loco Fortunata rem piam fecit; omne enim aurum suum, omnia vestimenta vendidit et mi centum aureos in manu posuit. Hoc fuit peculii mei fermentum. Cito fit, quod di volunt.

' femina, domini, dominae bracketed by Buecheler. 150

SATYRICOX

What, you snorer in bed, are you still whining ? I will take care that you have something to whine over. Well, as I was just sajing, self-denial has brought tne into this fortune. When I came from Asia I was about as tall as this candle-stick. In fact I used to measure myself by it every daj-, and grease mj' lips from the lamp to grow a moustache the quicker. Still, I was my master's favourite for fourteen years. No disgrace in obeying your master's orders. Well, I used to amuse my mistress too. You know what I mean; I say no more, I am not a conceited man. Then, as the Gods willed, I became the real master 76 of the house, and simply had his brains in my pocket. I need only add that I was joint residuary legatee with Caesar,^ and came into an estate fit for a senator. But no one is satisfied with nothing. I conceived a passion for business. I will not keep you a moment — I built five ships, got a cargo of wine — which was worth its weight in gold at the time — and sent them to Rome. You may think it was a put-up job; every one was wrecked, truth and no fairy-tales. Neptune gulped down thirty million in one day. Do you think I lost heart? Lord! no, I no more tasted my loss than if nothing had happened. I built some more, bigger, better and more expensive, so that no one could say I was not a brave man. You know, a huge ship has a certain security about her. I got another cargo of wine, bacon, beans, perfumes, and slaves. For- tunata did a noble thing at that time ; she sold all her jewellery and all her clothes, and put a hundred gold pieces into my hand. They were the leaven of my fortime. What God wishes soon happens. I made

' It was not uncommon, and often prudent, for a rich man under the early Empire to mention the Emperor in his wilL

151

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Uno cursu centies sestertium corrotundavi. Statim redemi fundos omnes, qui patroni mei fuerant. Aedi- fico domum, venalicia coemo iumenta; quicquid tan- gebam, crescebat tanquam favus. Postquam coepi plus habere, quam tota patria mea habet, manum de tabula : sustuli me de negotiatione et coepi libertos faenerare. Et sane nolentem me negotium meum agere exhorta- vit mathematicus, qui venerat forte in coloniam iio- stram, Graeculio, Serapa nomine, consiliator deorum. Hie mihi dixit etiam ea, quae oblitus eram; ab acia et acu mi omnia exposuit; intestinas meas noverat; tantum quod mihi non dixerat, quid pridie cenaveram. 77 Putasses ilium semper mecum habitasse. Rogo, Ha- binna — puto, interfuisti — : Tu dominam tuam de rebus illis fecisti. Tu parum felix in amicos es. Nemo unquam tibi parem gratiam refert. Tu latifundia pos- sides. Tu viperam sub ala nutricas ' et, quod vobis non dixerim, et nunc mi restare vitae annos triginta et menses quattuor et dies duos. Praeterea cito accipiam hereditatem. Hoc mihi dicit fatus meus. Quod si contigerit fundos Apuliae iungere, satis vivus perve- nero. Interim dum Mercurius vigilat, aedificavi hanc domum. Ut scitis, casula^ erat; nunc templum est. Habet quattuor cenationes, cubicula viginti, porticus marmoratos duos, susum cenationem,^ cubiculum in quo ipse dormio, viperae huius sessorium, ostiarii cel-

' casula Heinsius: cusuc. 'cenationem Scheffer: cellationem. 152

SATYRICON

a clear ten million on one voyage. I at once bought up all the estates which had belonged to my patron. I buiH a house, and bought slaves and cattle ; what- ever I touched grew like a honey-comb. \Mien I came to have more than the whole revenues of my own coimtry, I threw up the game : I retired from active work and began to finance freedmen. I was quite luiAvilling to go on with my work when I was encouraged by an astrologer who happened to come to our town, a little Greek called Serapa, who knew the secrets of the Gods. He told me things that I had forgotten myself; explained everything from needle and thread upwards; knew mj' own inside, and only fell short of telling me what I had had for dinner the day before. You would 77 have thought he had always lived with me. You remember, Habinnas? — I believe you were there? — You fetched your vdfe from you know where. You are not lucky in your friends. No one is ever as grate- ful to you as you deserve. You are a man of property. You are nourishing a viper in your bosom,' and, though I must not tell you this, that even now I had thirty years four months and tvvo days left to live. More- over I shall soon come into an estate. My oracle tells me so. If I could only extend my boundaries to Apulia I should have gone far enough for my lifetime. Meanwhile I built this house while Mercury watched over me.^ As you know, it was a tiny place; now it is a palace. It has four dining-rooms, twenty bed- rooms, two marble colonnades, an upstairs dining- room, a bedroom where I sleep myself, this viper's boudoir, an excellent room for the pK)rter; there is

' Mercury was Trimalchio's patron. See note, p. 43. Also be was the g^od of g^ain and g'ood luck.

153

TJTUS PETRONIUS ARBITER lam perbonam ; hospitium hospites capit. Ad summam, Scaurus cum hue venit, nusquam mavoluit hospitari, et habet ad mare paternum hospitium. Et multa aha sunt, quae statim vobis ostendam. Credite mihi: assem habeas, assem valeas; habes, habeberis. Sic amicus vester, qui fuit rana, nunc est rex. Interim. Stiche, profer vitaha, in quibus volo me efferri. Prefer et unguentum t ex ilia amphora gustum, ex qua iubeo lavari ossa mea."

Non est moratus Stichus, sed et stragulam albam

et praetextam in triclinium attulit

iussitque nos temptare, an bonis lanis essent confecta. Tum subridens Vide tu" inquit Stiche, ne ista mures tangant aut tineae? alioquin te vivum combu- ram. Ego gloriosus volo efferri, ut totus mihi populus bene imprecetur." Statim ampullam nardi aperuit onmesque nos unxit et Spero" inquit futurum ut aeque me mortuum iuvet tanquam vivum." Nam vinum quidem in vinarium iussit infundi et Putate vos" ait ad parentalia mea invitatos esse."

Ibat res ad summam nauseam, cum Trimalchio ebrietate turpissima gravis novum acroama, cornicines, in triclinium iussit adduci, fultusque cervicalibus multis extendit se super torum extremum et Fingite me " inquit mortuum esse. Dicite aliquid belli." Consonuere cornicines funebri strepitu. Unus praeci- pue servus libitinarii illius, qui inter hos honestissimus erat, tarn valde intonuit, ut totam concitaret viciniam, 1.54

SATYRICON

plenty of spare room for guests. In fact when Scaurus came he preferred staying here to anywhere else, and he has a family place by the sea. There are plenty of other things which I •vriW show you in a minute. Take my word for it: if you have a permy, that is uhat you are worth ; by what a man hath shall he be reckoned. So your friend who was once a worm is now a king. Meanwhile, Stichus, bring me the grave- clothes in which I mean to be carried out. And some ointment, and a mouthful out of that jar which has to be poured over my bones."

In a moment Stichus had fetched a white ■winding- 78 sheet and dress into the dining-room and . . . [Trimal- chio] asked us to feel whether they were made of good wool. Then he gave a little laugh and said, "Mind neither mouse nor moth corrupts them, Stichus; otherM'ise I will bum you alive. I want to be carried out in splendour, so that the whole crowd calls down blessings on me." He immediately opened a flask and anointed us all and said, " I hope I shall Uke this as well in the grave as I do on earth." Besides this he ordered wine to be poured into a bowl, and said. Now you must imagine you have been asked to my fxineral."

The thing was becoming perfectly sickening, when Trimalchio, now deep in the most vile drunkenness, had a new set of performers, some trumpeters, brought into the dining-room, propped himself on a heap of cusliions, and stretched himself on his death-bed, sajing, " Imagine that I am dead. Play something pretty." The trumpeters broke into a loud funeral march. One man especially, a slave of the undertaker who was the most decent man in the party, blew such a mighty blast that the whole neighbourhood was

155

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Itaque vigiles, qui custodiebant vicinam regionem, rati ardere Trimalchionis domum, effregerunt ianuam subito et cum aqua securibusque tumultuari suo iure coeperunt. Nos occasionem opportunissimam nacti Agamemnoni verba dedimus raptimque tarn plane quam ex ineendio fugimus. 79 L I Neque fax uUa in praesidio erat, quae iter aperiret errantibuSj nee silentium noetis iam mediae promitte- bat occurrentium lumen. Accedebat hue ebrietas et imprudentia locorum etiam interdiu obfutura.^ Itaque cum bora paene tota per omnes scrupos gastrarumque eminentium fragmenta traxissemus cruentos pedes, tandem expliciti acumine Gitonis sumus. Prudens enim [pridie], cum luce etiam clara timeret errorem, omnes pilas columnasque notaverat creta, quae' lineamenta evicerunt spississimam noctem et notabili candore ostenderunt errantibus viam. Quamvis non minus sudoris habuLmus etiam postquam ad stabulum pervenimus. Anus enim ipsa inter deversitores diutius ingurgitata ne ignem quidem admotum sensisset. Et forsitan pernoctassemus in limine, ni tabellarius Trimalchionis intervenisset X vehiculis dives. Non diu ergo tumultuatus stabuli ianuam efFregit et nos per eandem intro^ admisit ...

Qualis nox fuit ilia, di deaeque, quam mollis torus. Haesimus calentes et transfudimus hinc et hinc labellis errantes animas. Valete, curae mortalis. Ego sic perire coepi.

^ obfutura Buecheler: obscura. 'creta, quae Puteanus: certaque. ^ intro Bourdeloi: terram.

,56

SATYRICON

roused. The watch/ who were patrolling the streets close by, thought Trimalchio's house was alight, and suddenly burst in the door and began with water and axes to do their duty in creating a disturbance. My friends and I seized this most welcome opportunity, outwitted Agamemnon, and took to our heels as quickly as if there were a real fire.

There was no guiding torch to show us the way as 79 we wandered ; it was now midnight, and the silence gave us no prospect of meeting anyone with a light. Moreover we were drunk, and our ignorance of the quarter would have puzzled us even in the daytime. So after dragging our bleeding feet nearly a whole hour over the flints and broken pots which layout in the road, we were at last put straight by Git on' s cleverness. The careful child had been afraid of losing his way even in broad daj'light, and had marked all the p)Osts and columns with chalk ; these lines shone through the blackest night, and their brilhant whiteness directed our lost footsteps. But even when we reached our lodgings our agitation was not relieved. For our friend the old woman had had a long night swilling with her lodgers, and would not have noticed if you had set a light to her. We might have had to sleep on the doorstep if Trimalchio's courier had not come up in state with ten carts. After making a noise for a little while he broke down the house-door and let us in byit . .

Ah ! gods and goddesses, what a night that was, how soft was the bed. We lay in a warm embrace and Avith kisses everywhere made exchange of our wander- ing spirits. Farewell, all earthlj' troubles. So began my destruction.

' Either a municipal or a private brigade of firemen or watchmen.

»57

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

sine causa gratulor mihi. Nam cum solutus mero remi- sissem^ ebrias manuS;, Ascyltos, omnis iniuriae inven- tor, subduxit mihi nocte puerum et in leetum transtulit suum, volutatusque liberius cum fratre non suo, sive non sentiente iniuriam sive dissimulante, indormivit alienis amplexibus oblitus iuris humani. Itaque ego ut experrectus pertreetavigaudio despoliatum torum. . . Si qua est amantibus fides, ego dubitavi, an utrumque traicerem gladio somnumque morti iungerem. Tutius dein secutus consilium Gitona quidem verberibus ex citavi, Ascylton autem truci intuens vultu quoniam " inquam fidem scelere violasti et communem amici- tiam, res tuas ocius tolle et alium locum, quem poUuas, quaere."

Non repugnavit ille, sed postquam optima fide 80 partiti manubias sumus, age" inquit nunc et puerum dividamus." locari putabam discedentem. At ille gladium parricidali manu strinxit et non frueris " inquit hac praeda, super quam solus incum- bis. partem meam necesse est vel hoc gladio con- temptus abscidam."^ Idem ego ex altera parte feci et intorto circa brachium pallio composui ad proeliandum gradum. Inter hanc miserorum dementiam infelicissi- mus puer tangebat utriusque genua cum fletu petebatque suppliciter, ne Thebanum par humilis taberna spectaret, neve sanguine mutuo pollueremus familiaritatis clarissimae sacra. Quod si utique " proclamabat " facinore opus est, nudo ecce iugulum, convertite hue manus, imprimite mucrones. Ego mori debeo, qui amicitiae sacramentum delevi. " Inhibuimus ferrum post has preces, et prior Ascyltos ego " inquit finem discordiae imponam. Puer ipse, quem vult,

' reinlsissem /acobs : amisissem. ^contemptus Burmann: contentus.

158

SATYRICON

I blessed my luck too soon. I was overcome with drink and let my shaking hands fall, and then Ascyltos, that fountain of all wickedness, took my little friend away et in lectuni transtulit suum, volutatusque libe- rius cum fratre non suo, sive non sentiente iniuriam sive dissimulante, indormivit alienis amplexibus oblitus iuris humani. Itaque ego ut experrectus pertrectavi gaudio despoliatum torum ... Si qua est amantibus fides, ego dubitavi, an utrumque traicerem gladio som- numque morti iungerem, Tutius dein secutus consi- lium Gitona quidem verberibus excitavi, I looked angrily at Ascyltos and said, As you have Anckedly broken our agreement and the friendship between us, collect your things at once, and find some other place to corrupt."

He did not resist, but after we had divided our 80 spoils with scrupulous honesty he said, And now we must divide the boy too." I thought this was a parting joke. But he drew his sword murderously, and said,

" You shall not enjoy this treasure that you brood over

all alone. I am rejected, but I must carve off my share too, even with this sword."

So I did the same on my side; wrapped my cloak round my arm and put myself in j)osition for a fight. As we raved in folly, the poor boy touched our knees, and humbly besought us with tears not to let that quiet lodging-house be the scene of a Theban duel, or stain the sanctity of a beautiful friendship with each other's blood. But if you must commit your crime," he cried, look here, here is my throat. Turn your hands this way and imbrue your blades. I deserve to die for breaking the oath of friendship." We put up our swords at his prayers, and Ascjltos spoke first, I ■will put an end to this quarrel. Let the boy follow

159

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

sequatur, ut sit illi saltern in eligendo fratre [salva[ liber tas." Ego qui vetustissimam consuetudinem putabam in sanguinis pignus transisse, nihil timui, immo condicionem praecipiti festinatione rapui com- misique iudici litem, qui ne deliberavit quidem, ut videretur cunctatus, verum statim ab extrema parte verbi consurrexit et fratrem Ascylton elegit. Fulmi- natus hac pronuntiatione, sic ut eram, sine gladio in lectulum decidi, et attulissem mihi damnatus manus, si non inimici victoriae invidissem. Egreditur superbus cum praemio Ascyltos et paulo ante carissimum sibi commilitonem fortunaeque etiam similitudine parem in loco peregrino destituit abiectum. LO I Nomen amicitiae sic, quatenus expedit, haeret;

calculus in tabula mobile ducit opus. Cum fortuna manet, vultum servatis, amici ; cum cecidit, turpi vertitis ora fuga.

Grex agit in scaena mimum : pater ille vocatur,

filius hie, nomen divitis ille tenet. Mox ubi ridendas inclusit pagina partes, vera redit facies, dum simulata^ perit. . . . 81 Nee diu tamen lacrimis indulsi, sed veritus, ne Menelaus etiam antescholanus inter cetera mala solum me in deversorio inveniret, collegi sarcinulas locumque secretum et proximum litori maestus conduxi. Ibi triduo inclusus redeimte in animum solitudine atque contemptu verberabam aegrum L planctibus pectus | et inter tot altissimos gemitus

' dum simulata Buecheler : dissimulata. 160

SATYRICON

the one he prefers, so that he at any rate may have a tree choice of brothers."

I had no fears, imagining that long-standing famili- arity had passed into a tie of blood, and I accepted the arrangement in hot haste, and referred the dispute to the judge. He did not even pretend to take time to consider, but got up at once as I finished speaking, and chose Ascyltos for his brother. I was thunder- struck at his choice, and fell down on the bed just as I was, without my sword ; I should have committed suicide at the sentence if I had not grudged my enemy this triumph. Ascyltos went stalking out with his wirmings, and left his comrade, whom he had loved a little while before, and whose fortunes had been so like his own, in despair in a strange place.

The name of friendship endures so long as there is profit in it : the counter on the board plays a change- able game. \Miile my luck holds you give me your smiles, my friends ; when it is out, you turn your faces away in shameful flight.

A company acts a farce on the stage : one is called the father, one the son, and one is labelled the Rich Man. Soon the comic parts are shut in a book, the men's real faces come back, and the make-up disap- pears.

But still I did not spend much time in weeping. I 8 1 was afraid that Menelaus the tutor^ might increase my troubles by finding me alone in the lodgings, so I got together my bundles and took a room in a remote place right on the beach. I shut myself up there for three days ; I was haunted by the thought that I was deserted and despised ; I beat my breast, already worn with blows, groaned deeply and even cried aloud many ' See p. 37 note.

M idl

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

frequenter etiam proclamabam : ergo me non ruina terra potuit haurire? Non iratum etiam innocenti- bus mare? Effugi iudicium, harenae imposui, hospi- tem occidi, ut inter tot audaciae nomiiia mendicus, exul, in deversorio Graecae urbis iacerem desertus? Et quis hanc mihi solitudinem imposuit ? Aduleseens omni libidine impurus et sua quoque confessione di- gnus exilic, stupro liber, stupro ingenuus, cuius anni ad tesseram venierunt, quem tanquam puellam conduxit etiam qui virum putavit. Quid ille alter ? Qui [tan- ^quam] die togae virilis stolam sumpsit, qui ne vir esset, a matre persuasus est, qui opus muliebre in ergastulo fecit, qui postquam conturbavit et libidinis suae solum vertit, reliquit veteris amicitiae nomen et, pro pudor, tanquam mulier secutuleia unius noctis tactu omnia vendidit. lacent nunc amatores obligati noctibus totis, et forsitan mutuis libidinibus attriti derident solitudinem meam. Sed non impune. Nam aut vir ego liberque non sum, aut noxio sanguine parentabo iniuriae meae." 82 Haec locutus gladio latus cingo, et ne infirmitas militiam perderet, largioribus cibis excito vires. Mox in publicum prosilio furentisque more omnes circum- eo porticus. Sed dum attonito vultu efFeratoque nihil aliud quam caedem et sanguinem cogito fre- quentiusque manum ad capulum, quem devoveram, refero, notavit me miles, sive ille planus fuit sive nocturnus grassator, et Quid tu" in quit commilito, ex qua legione es aut cuius centuria?" Cum con- stantissime et centurionem et legionem essem ementi- tus. Age ergo " inquit ille in exercitu vestro

' alter die qui tanquam togae MSS,

162

SATYRICON

times, Could not the earth have opened and swal- lowed me, or the sea that shows her anger even against the innocent? I fled from justice, I cheated the ring, I killed my host, and with all these badges of courage I am left forsaken in lodgings in a Greek town, a beggar and an exile. And who condemned me to loneliness? A young man tainted by excess of every kind, deserving banishment even by his own admission, a free, yes, a free-born debauchee ; his youth was wasted in gambling, and even those who supposed him to be a man treated him like a girl. And his friend? A boy who went into skirts instead of trousers, whose mother persuaded him never to grow up, who was the common sport of the slaves' quarters, who after going bankrupt, and changing the tune of his vices, has broken the ties of an old friendship, and shamelessly sold everything in a single night's work like a common woman. Now the lovers lie all night long in each other's arms, and very likely laugh at my loneliness when they are tired out. But they shall suffer for it. I am no man, and no free citizen, if I do not avenge my wrongs with their hateful blood."

With these words I put on my sword, and recruited 82 my strength with a square meal to prevent my losing the battle through weakness. I rushed out of doors at once, and went round all the arcades like a madman. My face was as of one dumbfoundered with fury, I thought of nothing but blood and slaughter, and kept putting my hand to the sword-hilt which I had conse- crated to the work. Then a soldier, who may have been a swindler or a footpad, noticed me, and said.

Hullo, comrade, what regiment and company do you belong to?" I lied stoutly about my captain and my regiment, and he said, Well, do soldiers in your m2 163

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER phaecasiati milites ambulant?" Cum deinde vultu atque ipsa trepidatione mendacium prodidissem^ po- nere me iussit arma et malo cavere. Despoliatus ergOjimmo praecisa ultione retro ad deversorium tendo paulatimque temeritate laxata coepi grassatoris auda- ciae gratias agere . . .

Non bibet inter aquas poma aut pendentia carpit

Tantalus infelix, quem sua vota premunt. Divitis haec magni facies erit, omnia cernens

qui timet et sicco concoquit ore famem. . . . Non multum oportet consilio credere, quia suam habet fortuna rationem . . . 83 In pinacothecam perveni vario genere tabularum mirabilem. Nam et Zeuxidos manus vidi nondum vetustatis iniuria victas, et Protogenis rudimenta cum ipsius naturae veritate certantia non sine quodam horrore tractavi. lam vero Apellis quam Graeci liovo Kvr]fiov appellant, etiam adoravi. Tanta enim subtilitate extremitates imaginum erant ad similitudi- nem praecisae, ut crederes etiam animorum esse picturam. Hinc aquila ferebat caelo sublimis Idaeum/ illinc candidus Hylas repellebat improbam Naida. Damnabat Apollo noxias manus lyramque resolutam mode nato flore honorabat. Inter quos etiam picto- rum amantium vultus tanquam in solitudine exclamavi •

' Idaeum Wehl: deum. 164

SATYRICON

force walk about in white shoes?" My expression and my trembling showed that I had lied, and he ordered me to hand over my arms and look out foi myself. So I was not only robbed, but my revenge was nipped in the bud. I went back to the inn, and by degrees my courage cooled, and I began to bless the footpad's effrontery. . . .

Poor Tantalus stands in water and never drinks, nor plucks the fruit above his head : his own desires torment him. So must a rich great man look when, with everything before his eyes, he fears starvation, and digests hunger dry-mouthed. . . .

It is not much use depending upon calculation when Fate has methods of her own. . . .

I came into a gallery hung with a wonderful collec- 83 tion of various pictures. I saw the works of Zeuxis not yet overcome by the defacement of time, and I studied with a certain terrified wonder the rough drawings of Protogenes, which rivalled the truth of Nature herself. But when I came to the work of Apelles the Greek which is called the One-legged, I positively worshipped it. For the outlines of his figures were de- fined with such subtle accuracy, that you would have declared that he had painted their souls as well. In one the eagle was carrying the Shepherd of Ida^ on high to heaven, and in another fair Hj'las resisted a torment- ing Naiad. Apollo^ passed judgement on his accursed hands, and adorned his unstrung lyre with the new- bom flower. I cried out as if 1 were in a desert, among these faces of mere painted lovers. So even

' Ganymede, who became the cupbearer of Jupiter,

' Apollo killed Hyacinthus, a Spartan boy whom he loved,

by a mis-throw of the discus. The hyacinth flower sprang up

from the boy's blood.

165

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Ergo amor etiam decs tangit. luppiter in caelo suo non invenit quod diligeret/ sed peccaturus in terris nemini tamen iniuriam fecit. Hylan Nympha prae- data temperasset^ amori suo, si venturum ad interdi- ctum Herculem credidisset. Apollo pueri umbram revocavit in florem, et omnes fabulae quoque sine aemulo habuerunt complexus. At ego in societatem recepi hospitem Lycurgo crudeliorem."

Ecce autem, ego dum cum ventis litigo, intravit pinacothecam senex canus, exercitati vultus et qui videretur nescio quid magnum promittere, sed cultu non proinde speciosus, ut facile appareret eum ex hac nota litteratum esse, quos odisse divites solent. Is ergo ad latus constitit meum . . .

Ego" inquit poeta sum et ut spero, non humil- limi spiritus, si' modo coronis aliquid credendum est, quas etiam ad immeritos^ deferre gratia solet. ' Quare ergo ' inquis tam male vestitus es ? ' Propter hoc ipsum. Amor ingenii neminem unquana divitem fecit. LO I Qui pelago credit, magno se faenore tollit;

qui pugnas et castra petit, praecingitur aurc ; vilis adulator picto iacet ebrius ostro, et qui sollicitat nuptas, ad praemia peccat: sola pruinosis horret facundia pannis atque inopi lingua desertas invocat artes. 84 Non dubie ita est : si quis vitiorum omnium inimicus rectum iter vitae coepit insistere,^ primum propter morum differentiam odium habet; quis enim potest probare diversa ? Deinde qui solas extruere divitias

' diligferet sed Jacobs : eligferet et.

^ temperasset Buecheler : imperasset.

immeritos Buecheler : imperitos.

insistere cod. Messantensis : inspicere other MSS,

166

SATYRICON

the gods feel love. Jupiter in his heavenly home could find no object for his passion, and came do^^-n on earth to sin, yet did no one any harm. The Nj-mph who ravished Hylas would have restrained her passion had she believed that Hercules would come to dispute her claim. Apollo recalled the ghost of a boy into a flower, and all the stories tell of love's embraces with- out a rival. But I have taken for my comrade a friend more cruel than Lj'curgus himself."

Suddenly, as I strove thus with the empty air, a white-haired old man^ came into the gallery. His face was troubled, but there seemed to be the promise of some great thing about him ; though he was shabby in appearance, so that it was quite plain by this charac- teristic that he was a man of letters, of the kind that rich men hate. He came and stood by my side. . . .

I am a poet," he said, and one, I hope, of no mean imagination, ifone can reckon at all by cro^v^ls of honour, which gratitude can set even on unworthy heads. ' WTiy are j'ou so badly dressed, then ? ' you ask. For that very reason. The worship of genius never made a man rich.

The man who trusts the sea consoles himself with high profits ; the man who follows war and the camp is girded with gold; the base flatterer lies drunk on a couch of purple dye ; the man who tempts young ^vives gets money for his sin ; eloquence alone shivers in rags and cold, and calls upon a neglected art with improfitable tongue.

Yes, that is certainly true : if a man dislikes all 84 vices, and begins to tread a straight path in life, he is hated first of all because his character is superior ; for who is able to like what differs from himself? Fur- ther, those who only trouble about heaping up riches, ' Eumolpus.

167

THUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

curant, nihil volunt inter homines melius credi, quam quod ipsi tenent. Insectantur^ itaque, quacunque ratione possunt, litterarum amatores, ut videantur illi quoque infra pecuniam positi" . . . L I ' Nescio quo modo bonae mentis soror est pauper- tas" . . .

Vellem, tam innocens esset frugalitatis meae hostiSj ut deliniri posset. Nunc veteranus est latro et ipsis lenonibus doctior" . . , 85 In Asiam cum a quaestore essem stipendio eductus,

hospitium Pergami accepi. Ubi cum libenter habi- tarem non solum propter cultum aedicularum, sed etiam propter hospitis formosissimum filium, excogitavi rationem, qua non essem patri familiae suspectus amator. Quotiescunque enim in convivio de usu formosorum mentio facta est, tam vehementer ex- candui, tam sevei-a tristitia violari aures meas obsceno sermone nolui, ut me mater praecipue tanquam unum ex philosophis intueretur. lam ego coeperam ephebum in gymnasium deducere, ego studia eius ordinare, ego docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator corporis ad- mitteretur in domum . . .

Forte cum in triclinio iaceremus, quia dies sollemnis ludum artaverat pigritiamque recedendi imposuerat hilaritas longior, fere circa mediam noctem intellexi puerum vigilare. Itaque timidissimo murmure votum feci et 'domina' inquam Venus, si ego hunc puerum basiavero, ita ut ille non sentiat, eras illi par colum- barum donabo.' Audito voluptatis pretio puer ster- tere coepit. Itaque aggressus simulantem aliquot basiolis invasi. Contentus hoc principio bene mane surrexi electumque par columbarum attuli expectanti ■ insectantur Buecheler : iactantur. 168

»ATYRICON

do not want anjrthing to be considered better than what is in their own hands. So they persecute men with a passion for learning in every possible yray, to make them also look an inferior article to money. . . .

Somehow or other poverty is own sister to good sense. . . .

I wish he that hates me for my virtue were so guilt- less that he might be mollified. As it is he is a past master of robbery, and more clever than any pimp."

In Asiam cum a quaestore essem stipendio eductus, 85 hospitium Pergami accepi. Ubi cum libenter habi- tarem non solum propter cultum aedicularum, sed etiam propter hospitis formosissimum filium, excogitavi rationem, qua non essem patri familiae suspectus amator. Quotiescunque enim in convivio de usu formosorum mentio facta est, tam vehementer ex- candui, tam severa tristitia violari aures meas obsceno sermone nolui, ut me mater praecipue tanquam unum ex philosophis intueretur. lam ego coeperam ephebum in gynmasium deducere, ego studia eius ordinare, ego docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator corporis ad- mitteretur in domum . . .

Forte cum in triclinio iaceremus, quia dies soUemnis ludum artaverat pigritiamque recedendi imposuerat hilaritas longior, fere circa mediam noctem intellexi puerum vigilare. Itaque timidissimo murmure votum feci et domina' inquam Venus, si ego hunc puerum basiavero, ita ut ille non sentiat, eras illi par colum- barum donabo.' Audito voluptatis pretio puer ster- tere coepit. Itaque aggresjus simulantem aliquot basiolis invasi. Contentus hoc principio bene mane surrexi electumque par columbarum attuli expectanti

169

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

86 ac me voto exsolvi. Proxima nocte cum idem liceret, mutavi optionem et si hunc' inquam tractavero im- proba manu, et ille non senserit, gallos gallinaceos pugnacissimos duos donabo patienti.' Ad hoc votum ephebus ultro se admovit et, puto, vereri coepit, ne ego obdoiTniscerem. Indulsi ergo sollicito, totoque corpore citra summam voluptatem me ingurgitavi. Deinde ut dies venit, attuli gaudenti quicquid promise- ram. Ut tertia nox licentiam dedit, consurrexi . . . ad aurem male dormientis dii' inquam immortales, si ego huic dormienti abstulero coitum plenum et optabilem, pro liac felicitate eras puero asturconem Macedonicum optimum donabo, cum hac tamen ex- ceptione, si ille non senserit.' Nunquam altiore somno ephebus obdormivit. Itaque primum implevi lactentibus papillis manus, mox basio inhaesi, deinde in unum omnia vota coniunxi. Mane sedere in cubiculo coepit atque expectare consuetudinem meam. Scis quanto facilius sit, columbas gallosque gallinaceos emere quam asturconem, et praeter hoc etiam timebam, ne tam grande munus suspectam faceret humanitatem meam. Ego aliquot horis spatiatus in hospitium reverti nihilque aliud quam puerum basiavi. At ille circum- spiciens ut cervicem meam iunxit amplexu, rogo' inquit domine, ubi est asturco?" . . .

87 Cum ob hanc ofFensam praeclusissem mihi aditum, quern feceram, iterum ad licentiam redii. Interpositis enim paucis diebus, cum similis casus nos in eandem fortunam rettulisset, ut intellexi stertere patrem, rogare coepi ephebum, ut reverteretur in gratiam mecum, id est ut pateretur satis fieri sibi, et cetera quae libido distenta dictat. At ille plane iratus nihil aliud dicebat nisi hoc: "aut dormi, aut ego iam dicam patri." Nihil est tam arduum, quod non improbitas

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ac me voto exsolvi. Proxima nocte cum idem liceret, 86

mutavi optionem et si hunc ' inquam tractavero im- proba manu, et ille non senserit, gallos gallinaceos pugnacissimos duos donabo patienti.' Ad hoc votum ephebus ultro se admovit et, puto, vereri coepit, ne ego obdormiscerem. Indulsi ergo sollicito, totoque corpore citra sumniam voluptatem me ingurgitavi. Deinde ut dies venit, attuli gaudenti quicquid promise- ram. Ut tertia nox licentiam dedit, consurrexi . . . ad aurem male dormientis dii ' inquam immortales, si ego huic dormienti abstulero coitum plenum et optabilemj pro hac felicitate eras puero asturconem Macedonicum optimum donabo, cum hac tamen ex- ceptione, si ille non senserit.' Nunquam altiore somno ephebus obdormivit. Itaque primum implevi lactentibus papillis manus, mox basio inhaesi, deinde in unum omnia vota coniunxi. Mane sedere in cubiculo coepit atque expectare consuetudinem meam. Scis quanto facilius sit, columbas gallosque gallinaceos emerequam asturconem, et praeter hoc etiam timebam, ne tam grande munus suspectam faceret humanitatem meam. Ego aliquot horis spatiatus in hospitium reverti nihilque aliud quam puerum basiaxi. At ille circum- spiciens ut cervicem meam iunxit amplexu, rogo * inquit domine, ubi est asturco?" . . .

Cum ob hanc ofFensam praeclusissem mihi aditum, 87 quem feceram, iterum ad licentiam redii. Interpositis enim paucis diebus, cum similis casus nos in eandem fortunam rettulisset, ut intellexi stertere patrem, rogare coepi ephebum, ut reverteretur in gratiam mecum, id est ut pateretur satis fieri sibi, et cetera quae libido distenta dictat. At ille plane iratus nihil aliud dicebat nisi hoc : aut dormi, aut ego iam dicam patri." Nihil est tam arduum, quod non improbitas

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extorqueat. Dum dicit: patrem excitabo/' irrepsi tamen et male repugnant! gaudium extorsi. At ille non indelectatus nequitia mea, postquam diu questus est deceptum se et derisum traductumque inter con- discipuloSj quibus iactasset censum meum, videris tamen" inquit non ero tui similis. Si quid viSj fac iterum." Ego vero deposita omni offensa cum puero in gratiam redii ususque beneficio eius in somnum delapsus sum. Sed non fuit contentus iteratione ephe- bus plenae maturitatis et annis ad patiendum gesti- entibus. Itaque excitavit me sopitum et numquid vis?" inquit. Et non plane iam molestum erat munus. Uteunque igitur inter anhelitus sudoresque tritus, quod volueratj accepit, rursusque in somnum deeidi gaudio lassus. Interposita minus hora pungere me raanu coepit et dicere: quare non facimus?" turn ego totiens excitatus plane vehementer excandui et reddidi illi voces suas: aut dormi, aut ego iam patri dicam ' " . . .

S 8 Erectus his sermonibus consul ere prudentiorem coepi aetates tabularum et quaedam argumenta mihi obscu- ra simulque causam desidiae praesentis excutere, cum pulcherrimae artes perissent, inter quas pictura ne minimum quidem sui vestigium reliquisset. Turn ille "pecuniae" inquit ' cupiditas haec tropica insti-

LO tuit. I Priscis enim temporibus, cum adliuc nuda virtus placeret, vigebant artes ingenuae summumque certa- men inter homines erat, ne quid profuturum saeculis diu lateret. Itaque herbarum omnium sucos Demo- critus expressit, et ne lapidum virgultorumque vis lateret, aetatem inter experimenta consumpsit Eu- doxos [quidem] in cacumine excelsissimi moiitis con-

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extorqueat. Dum dicit: patrem excitabo," irrepsi tamen et male repugnant! gaudium extorsi. At ille non indelectatus nequitia mea, postquam diu questus est deceptum se et derisum traductumque inter con- discipulos, quibus iactasset censum meum, videris tamen" inquit non ero tui similis. Si quid vis, fac iterum." Ego vero deposita omni offensa cum puero in gratiam redii ususque beneficio eius in somnum delapsus sum. Sed non fuit contentus iteratione ephe- bus plenae maturitatis et annis ad patiendum gesti- entibus. Itaque excita\-it me sopitum et ' numquid vis?" inquit. Etnon plane iam molestum erat munus. Utcunque igitur inter anhelitus sudoresque tritus, quod voluerat, accepit^ rursusque in somnum decidi gaudio lassus. Interposita minus hora pungere me manu coepit et dicere : quare non facimus?" turn ego totiens excitatus plane vehementer excandui et reddidi lUi voces suas : aut dormi, aut ego iam patri dicam' "...

Encouraged by his conversation, I began to draw on 88 his knowledge about the age of the pictures, and about some of the stories Avhich puzzled me, and at the same time to discuss the decadence of the age, since the fine arts had died, and painting, for instance, had left no trace of its existence behind. Love of money began this revolution," he replied. In former ages virtue was still loved for her own sake, the noble arts flourished, and there were the keenest struggles among mankind to prevent anything being long un- discovered which might benefit posterity. So Demo- critus extracted the juice of every plant on earth, and spent his whole Ufe in experiments to discover the virtues of stones and twigs. Eudoxos grew old on the top of a high moimtain in order to trace the move-

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senuit, ut astrorum caelique motus deprehenderet, et ChrysippuSj ut ad inveiitionem sufficeret, ter elleboro animum detersit. Verum ut ad plastas convertar, Lysippum statuae unius lineamentis inhaerentem in- opia extinxit, et Myron, qui paene animas hominum ferarumque aere comprehenderat, non invenit here- dem. At nos vino scortisque demersi ne paratas quidem artes audemus cognoscere, sed accusatores antiquitatis vitia tantum docemus et discimus. Ubi est dialectica? Ubi astronomia? Ubi sapientiae cul- tissima via ? Quis unquam venit in templum et votum fecitj si ad eloquentiam pervenisset? Quis, si philo- sophiae fontem attigisset? Ac ne bonam quidem mentem aut bonam valitudinem petunt, sed statim ftntequam limen Capitolii tangant, alius donum pro- mittit, si propinquum divitem extulerit, alius, si the- saurum efFoderit, alius, si ad trecenties sestertium salvus pervenerit. Ipse senatus, recti bonique prae- ceptor, mille pondo auri Capitolio promittere solet, et ne quis dubitet pecuniam concupiscere, lovem quoque peculio exornat. Noli ergo mirari, si pictura defecit, cum omnibus diis hominibusque formosior videatur massa auri, quam quicquid Apelles Phidiasque, Grae- 89 culi delirantes, fecerunt. Sed video te totum in ilia haerere tabula, quae Troiae halosin ostendit. Itaque conabor opus versibus pandere:

lam decima maestos inter ancipites metus Phrygas obsidebat messis et vatis fides Calchantis atro dubia pendebat metu, cum Delio profante caesi vertices Idae trahuntur scissaque in molem cadunt

cultissima cod. Paris. 68^2 D : consultissima other MSS,

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ments of the stars arxd the sky, and Chrysippus three times cleared his wits with hellebore to improve his powers of invention. If j'ou turn to sculptors, Lysip- pus died of starvation as he brooded over the lines of a single statue, and MjTon, who almost caught the very soul of men and beasts in bronze, left no heir behind him. But we are besotted with wine and women, and cannot rise to understand even the arts that are developed ; we slander the past, and learn and teach nothing but vices. WTiere is dialectic now, or astronomy? Where is the exquisite way of wisdom? WTio has ever been to a temple and made an offering in order to attain to eloquence, or to drink of the waters of philosophy ? They do not even ask for good sense or good health, but before they even touch the thres- hold of the Capitol, one promises an offering if he may bury his rich neighbour, another if he may dig up a hid treasure, another if he may make thirty millions in safetj'. Even the Senate, the teachers of what is right and good, often promise a thousand pounds in gold to the Capitol, and decorate even Jupiter with pelf, that no one need be ashamed of prajing for money. So there is nothing surprising in the decadence of painting, when all the gods and men think an ingot of gold more beautiful than anything those poor crazy Greeks, Apelles and Phidias, ever did.

But I see your whole attention is riveted on that 89 picture, which represents the fall of Troy. Well, I will try and explain the situation in verse :

It was now the tenth harvest of the siege of the Trojans, who were worn with anxious fear, and the honour of Calchas the prophet stood wavering in dark dread, when at Apollo's bidding the wooded peaks of Ida were felled and dragged down, and the sawn

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robora, minacem quae figurarent^ equum. Aperitur ingens antrum et obducti specus, qui castra caperent. Hue decenni proelio irata virtus abditur, stipaut graves Danai recessus, in suo voto latent. O patria^ pulsas mille credidimus rates solumque bello liberum : hoc titulus fero incisus, hoe ad furta^ compositus Sinon firmabat et mens semper^ in damnum potens.

lam turba portis libera ac bello carens in vota properat. Fletibus manant genae mentisque pavidae gaudium laerimas habet, quas metus abegit. Namque Neptuno sacer crinem solutus omne Laocoon replet clamore vulgus. Mox reducta cuspide uterum notavit, fata sed tardant manus, ictusque resilit et dolis addit fidem. Iterum tamen eonfirmat invalidam manum altaque bipenni latera pertemptat. Fremit captiva pubes intus et, dum murmurat, roborea moles spirat alieno metu. Ibat iuventus capta, dum Troiam eapit, bellumque totum fraude ducebat nova.

Ecce alia monstra : eelsa qua Tenedos mare dorso replevit, tumida eonsurgunt freta undaque resultat scissa tranquillo minor, qualis sileuti nocte remorum sonus longe refertur, cum premunt classes mare pulsumque marmor abiete imposita gemit. Respicimus : angues orbibus geminis ferunt ad saxa fluctus, tumida quorum pectora

' figurarent Pithoeus, Tomaesius : figurabat.

' furta Buecheler : fata.

mens semper cod. Autissiodurensis : mendatium semper

cod, Paris. 6842 D : mendacium other MSS,

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planks fitted to a shape that resembled a war-horse. Within it a great hollow was opened, and a hidden cave that could shelter a host. In this the warriors who chafed at a war ten years long were packed away; the baleful Greeks fill every comer, and lie waiting in their own votive oifering. Ah I my country! we thought the thousand ships were beaten off, and the land released from strife. The inscription carved on the horse, and Sinon's crafty bearing, and his mind ever powerful for evil, all strengthened our hope.

Now a crowd hurries from the gate to worship, care- less and free of the war. Their cheeks are wet with tears, and the joy of their trembling souls brings to their eyes tears that terror had banished. Laocoon, priest of Neptune, with hair unbound, stirs the whole assembly to cry aloud. He drew back his spear and gashed the belly of the horse, but fate stayed his hand, the spear leaped back, and won us to trust the fraud. But he nerved his feeble hand a second time, and sounded the deep sides of the horse with an axe. The young soldiers shut within breathed loud, and while the sound lasted the wooden mass gasped \vith a terror that was not its own. The prisoned warriors went forward to make Troy prisoner, and waged all the war by a new subtlety.

There followed further portents ; where the steep ridge of Tenedos breaks the sea, the billows rise and swell, and the shattered wave leaps back hollowing the calm, sounding like the noise of oars borne far through the silent night, when ships bear down the ocean, and the calm is stirred and splashes under the burden of the keel. We look back : the tide carries two coiling snakes towards the rocks, their swollen breasts

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rates ut altae lateribus spumas agunt. Dat Cauda sonitum^ liberae ponto^ iubae consentiunt luminibus^ fulmineum iubar incendit aequor sibilisque undae fremunt. Stupuere mentes. Infulis stabant sacri Phrygioque cultu gemina nati pignora Lauconte. Quos repente tergoribus ligant angues corosci. Parvulas illi manus ad ora referunt, neuter auxilio sibi, uterque fratri: transtulit pietas vices morsque ipsa miseros mutuo perdit metu. Accumulat ecce liberum funus parens, infirmus auxiliator. Invadunt virum lam morte pasti membraque ad terram trahunt. lacet sacerdos inter aras victima terramque plangit. Sic profanatis sacris peritura Troia perdidit primum deos.

lam plena Phoebe candidum extulerat iubar minora ducens astra radianti face, cum inter sepultos Priamidas nocte et mere Danai relaxant claustra et efFundunt viros. Temptant in armis se duces, ecu ubi solet nodo remissus Thessali quadrupes iugi cervicem et altas quatere ad excursum iubas. Gladios retractant, commovent orbes manu bellumque sumunt. Hie graves alius mere obtruncat et continuat in mortem ultimam somnos, ab aris alius accendit faces contraque Troas invocat Troiae sacra." . . .

90 L I Ex is, qui in porticibus spatiabantur, lapides in Eumolpum recitantem miserunt. At ille, qui plau- sum ingenii sui noverat, operuit caput extraque tem-

ponto Sambucus, Tomaesius : pontem L : pontum O.

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like tall ships thro^ving the foam from their sides. Their tails crash through the sea, their crests move free over the open water, fierce as their eyes; a brilliant beam kindles the waves, and the waters resound with their hissing. Our heartbeats stopped. The priests stood wreathed for sacrifice with the two sons of Laocoon in Phrygian raiment. Suddenly the gleaming snakes twine their bodies round them. Tlie boys throw up their little hands to their faces, neither helping himself, but each his brother: such was the exchange of love, and death himself slew both poor children by their unselfish fear. Then before our eyes the father, a feeble helper, laid his own body down upon his children's. The snakes, now gorged with death, attacked the man and dragged his limbs to the ground. The priest Ues a victim before his altars and beats the earth. Thus the doomed city of Troy first lost her gods by profaning their worship.

Now Phoebe at the full lifted up her white beam, and led forth the smaller stars with her glowiag torch, and the Greeks unbarred the horse, and p>oured out their warriors among Priam's sons dro\vned in darkness and wine. The leaders try their strength in arms, as a steed untied from the Thessalian yoke mil toss his head and lofty mane as he rushes forth. They draw their swords, brandish their shields, and begin the fight. One slays Trojans heavy with drink, and prolongs their sleep to death that endeth all, another lights torches from the altars, and calls on the holy places of Troy to fight against the Trojans.' "...

Some of the people who were walking in the gal- 90 leries threw stones at Emnolpus as he recited. He recognized this tribute to his genius, covered his head, and fled out of the temple. I was afraid that he

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plum profugit. Timui ego, ne me poetam voearet. Itaque subsecutus fugientem ad litus perveni, et ut primum extra tali coniectum licuit consistere, Rogo" inquam quid tibi vis cum isto morbo? Minus quam duabus horis mecum moraris, et saepius poetice quam humane locutus es. Itaque non miror, si te populus lapidibus persequitur. Ego quoque sinum meum saxis onerabo, ut quotiescunque coeperis a te exire, sangui- nem tibi a capite mittam." Movit ille vultum et O mi " inquit adulescens, non hodie primus auspicatus sum. Immo quoties theatrum, ut recitarem aliquid, intravi, hac me adventicia excipere frequentia solet Ceterum ne [et] tecum quoque habeam rixandum, toto die me ab hoc cibo abstinebo." Immo" inquam ego si eiuras hodiernam bilem, una cenabimus "... Mando aedicularum custodi cenulae officium . . . 91 Video Gitona cum linteis et strigilibus parieti appli- citum tristem confusumque. Scires, non libenter servire. Itaque ut experimentum oculorum caperem convertit ille solutum gaudio vultum et Miserere " inquit fi*ater. Ubi arma non sunt, libere loquor. Eripe me latroni cruento et qualibet saevitia paeni- tentiam iudicis tui puni. Satis magnum erit misero solflciiun, tua voluntate cecidisse." Supprimere ego querellam iubeo, ne quis consilia deprehenderet, re- lictoque Eumolpo — nam in balneo carmen recitabat — per tenebrosum et sordidum egressum extraho Gitona raptimque in hospitium meum pervolo Praeclusis 180

S AT Y EICON

would call me a poet. So I followed him in his flight, and came to the beach, and as soon as we were out of range and could stop, I said, Tell me, cannot you get rid of your disease ? You have been in my com- pany less than two hours, and you have talked more often like a poet than like a man. I am not surprised that the crowd pursue you with stones. I shall load my pockets with stones too, and whenever you begin to forget yourself I shall let blood from your head." His expression altered, and he said, ' My dear young friend, I have been blessed like this before to-day. Whenever I go into the theatre to recite anything, the people's way is to welcome me with this kind ot present. But I do not want to have an3rthing to quar- rel Avith you about, so I will keep off this food for a whole day." Well," said I, if you forswear your madness for to-day, we will dine together." . . .

I gave the house-porter orders about our supper. . . .

I saw Giton, with some towels and scrapers, hug- 91 ging the wall in sad embarrassment. You could see he was not a willing slave. So to enable me to catch his eye he turned roimd, his face softened with pleasure, and he said. Forgive me, brother. As there are no deadly weapons here, I speak freely. Take me away from this bloody robber and punish me as cruelly as you like, your penitent judge. ^ It will be quite enough consolation for my misery to die because you wish it." I told him to stop his lamentation, for fear anyone should overhear our plans. We left Eumolpus behind — he was reciting a poem in the bathroom — and I took Giton out by a dark, dirty exit, and flew with all speed to my lodgings. Then

' The words refer to the phrase in c. 80 commisi iudici (sc Gitoni) litem, where Encolpius left Giton to choose between himself and Ascyltos. joj

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

deinde foribus invado pectus amplexibus et perfusum OS lacrimis vultu meo contero. Diu vocem neuter in- venit; nam puer etiam singultibus crebris amabile pectus quassaverat. O facinus " inquam indignum, quod amo te quamvis relictus, et in hoc pectore^ cum vulnus ingens fuerit^ cicatrix non est. Quid dicis, peregrini amoris concessio? Dignus hac iniuria fui?" Postquam se amari sensit^ supercilium altius sustulit . . .

Nee amoris arbitrium ad alium iudicem detuli.^ Sed nihil iam queror, nihil iam memini^ si bona fide paeni- tentiam emendas." Haec cum inter gemitus lacri- masque fudissem^ detersit ille pallio vultum et Quaeso " inquit Encolpi, fidem memoriae tuae appello : ego te reliqui, an tu me prodidisti? Equidem fateor et prae me fero : cum duos armatos viderem, ad fortiorem confugi." Exosculatus pectus sapientia plenum inieci cervicibus manus, et ut facile intellegeret redisse me in gratiam et optima fide reviviscentem amicitiam^ toto pectore adstrinxi. 92 Et iam plena nox erat mulierque cenae mandata curaverat, cum Eumolpus ostium pulsat. Interrogo ego: quot estis?" obiterque per rimam foris specu- lari diligentissime coepi, num Ascyltos una venisset. Deinde ut solum hospitem vidi, momento recepi. Ille ut se in grabatum reiecit viditque Gitona in conspectu ministrantem, movit caput et Laudo" inquit Gany- medem. Oportet hodie bene sit." Non delectavit me tarn curiosum principium timuique, ne in contu- ' detuli Buecheler : tuli and tuliU 182

SATYRICON

I shut the door and warmly embraced him, and rub- bed my face against his cheek, which was wet "with tears. For a time neither of us could utter a sound ; the boy's fair bodj- shook with continuous sobs. ' It is a shame and a wonder!" I cried. You left me, and yet I love you, and no scar is left over my heart, where the wound was so deep. Have you any excuse for yielding your love to a stranger? Did I deserve this blow?" As soon as he felt that I loved him, he began to hold his head up. . . .

I laid our love's cause before no other judge. But I make no complaint, I will forget all, if you will prove your penitence by keeping your word." I poured out my words with groans and tears, but Giton wiped his face on his cloak, and said. Now, Encol- pius, I ask you, I appeal to your honest memory ; did I leave j'ou, or did you betray me ? I admit, I confess it openly, that when I saw two armed men before me, I hurried to the side of the stronger." I pressed my Ups to his dear wise heart, and put my arms round his neck, and hugged him close to me, to make it quite plain that I was in amity with him again, and that our fiiendship lived afresh in perfect confidence.

It was now quite dark, and the woman had seen 92 to our orders for supper, when Eumolpus knocked at the door. I asked. How many of you are there?" and began as I spoke to look carefully through a chink in the door to see whether Ascyltos had come with him. When I saw that he was the only visitor, I let him in at once. He threw himself on a bed, and when he saw Giton before his eyes waiting at table, he wagged his head and said, I like your Ganymede. To-day should be a fine time for us." I was not pleased

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bernium recepissem Ascylti parem. Instat Eumolpus, et cum puer illi potionem dedisset, ' Malo te " inquit quam balneum totum " siccatoque avide poculo ne- gat sibi unquam acidius fuisse. Nam et dum lavor" ait paene vapulavi^ quia conatus sum circa solium sedentibus carmen recitare^ et postquam de balneo tanquam de theatre eiectus sum, circuire omnes angu- los coepi et clara voce Encolpion clamitare. Ex altera parte iuvenis nudus, qui vestimenta perdiderat, non minore clamoris indignatione Gitona flagitabat. Et me quidem pueri tanquam insanum imitatione petu- lantissima deriserunt, ilium autem frequentia ingeny circumvenit cum plausu et admiratione tiniidissima. Habebat enim inguinum pondus tam grande, ut ipsum hominem laciniam fascini crederes. O iuvenem labo- riosum: puto ilium pridie incipere, postero die finire. Itaque statim invenit auxilium; nescio quis enim, eques Romanus ut aiebant infamis, sua veste errantem circumdedit ac domum abduxit, credo, ut tam magna fortuna solus uteretur. At ego ne mea quidem vesti- menta ab officioso custode recepissem, nisi notorem dedissem. Tanto magis expedit inguina quam ingenia fricare." Haec Eumolpo dicente mutabam ego fre- quentissime vultum, iniuriis scilicet inimici mei hilaris, commodis tristis. Utcunque tamen, tanquam non agno- scerem fabulam, tacui et cenae ordinem explicui . . . 93 " Vile est, quod licet, et animus errori intentus^ iniurias diligit.

' errori intentus Buecheler: errore lentus. 184

SATYRICON

at this inquisitive opening; I was afraid I had let Ascyltos's double into the lodgings. Eumolpus per- sisted, and, when the boy brought him a drink, said, " I like you better than the whole bathful." He greedily drank the cup dry, and said he had never taken anji;hing with a sharper tang in it. ' WTiy, I was nearly flogged while I was washing," he cried, " because I tried to go round the bath and recite poetry to the people sitting in it, and when I was thro-wTi out of the bathroom as if it were a theatre, I began to look round all the comers, and shouted for Encolpius in a loud voice. In another part of the place a naked young man who had lost his clothes kept clamouring for Giton with equally noisy indigna- tion. The boys laughed at me with saucy mimicry as if I were crazy, but a large crowd surrounded him, clapping their hands and humbly admiring. Habebat enim inguinum pondus tarn grande, ut ipsum hominem laciniam fascini crederes. O iuvenem laboriosum: puto ilium pridie incipere, postero die finire. So he found an ally at once: some Roman knight or other, a low fellow, they said, put his own clothes on him as he strayed round, and took him off home, I suppose, ut tam magna fortuna solus uteretur. I should never have got my o's\ti clothes back from the troublesome attendant if I had not produced a voucher. Tanto magis expedit inguina quam ingenia fricare." . As Eumolpus told me all this, my expression kept changing, for of course I laughed at my enemy's straits and frowned on his fortune. But anyhow I kept quiet as if I did not know what the story was about, and set forth our bill of fare. . . .

WTiat we may have we do not care about; our 93 minds are bent on folly and love what is troublesome.

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Ales Phasiacis petita Colchis atque Afrae volucres placent palato, quod non sunt faciles : at albus anser et pictis anas enovata^ pennis plebeium sapit. Ultimis ab oris attractus scarus atque arata Syrtis, si quid naufragio dedit, probatui* : mullus iam gravis est. Arnica vincit uxorem. Rosa ciimamum veretur. Quicquid quaeritur, optimum videtur." Hoc est " inquam quod promiseras, ne quem hodie versum faceres ? per fidem, saltem nobis parce, qui te nunquam lapidavimus. Nam si aliquis ex is, qui in eodem synoecio potant, nomen poetae olfecerit, totam concitabit viciniam et nos omnes sub eadem causa obruet. Miserere et aut pinacothecam aut bal- neum cogita." Sic me loquentem obiurgavit Giton, mitissimus puer, et negavit recte facere, quod seniori conviciarer simulque oblitus officii mensam, quam humanitate posuissem^ contumelia tollerem, multaque alia moderationis verecundiaeque verba, quae formam eius egregie decebant. . . . 94 LO I " O felicem " inquit matrem tuam, quae te talem peperit : macte virtute esto. Raram fecit mixturam cum sapientia forma. Itaque ne putes te tot verba perdidisse, amatorem invenisti. Ego laudes tuas car- minibus implebo. Ego paedagogus et custos etiam quo non iusseris, sequar. Nee iniuriam Encolpius accipit, alium amat." Profuit etiam Eumolpo miles ille, qui mihi abstulit gladium ; alioquin quem animum adversus Ascylton sumpseram, eum in Eumolpi san- guinem exercuissem. Nee fefellit hoc Gitona. Ita- que extra cellam processit, tanquam aquam peteret, ^ enovata Pithoeus: renovata.

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The bird won from Q)lchis where Phasis flows, and fowls from Africa, are sweet to taste because they are not easy to win ; but the white goose and the duck with bright new feathers have a common savour. The wrasse drawn from far-off shores, and the yield of wrinkled Syrtis is praised if first it wrecks a boat : the mullet by now is a weariness. The mistress eclipses the wife, the rose bows down to the cinnamon. WTiat men must seek after seems ever best."

" What about your promise, that you would not make a single verse to-day?" I said. On your honour, spare us at least : we have never stoned you. If a single one of the people who are drinking in the same tenement A^ith us scents the name of a poet, he will rouse the whole neighboiu-hood and ruin us all for the same reason. Spare us then, and remember the picture-gallery or the baths." Giton, the gentle boy, reproved me when I spoke thus, and said that I was wrong to rebuke my elders, and forget my duty so far as to spoil with my insults the dinner I had ordered out of kindness, with much more tolerant and modest ad\ice which well became his beautiful self. . . .

Happy was the mother who bore such a son as you," 94 he said, be good and prosper. Beauty and wisdom make a rare conjunction. And do not think that all j'our words have been wasted. In me you have fotmd a lover. I will do justice to your worth in verse. I will teach and protect you, and follow you even where you do not bid me. I do Encolpius no wrong; he loves another."

That soldier who took away my sword did Eumolpus a good turn too ; otherwise I would have appeased the \^Tath raised in me against Ascyltos with the blood of Eumolpus. Giton was not blind to this. So he went out of the room on a pretence of fetching water, and

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iramque meam prudenti absentia extinxit. Paululura ergo intepescente saevitia Eumolpe " inquam iam malo vel carminibus loquaris, quam eiusmodi tibi vota proponas. Et ego iracundus sum^ et tu libidinosus : vide, quam non conveniat his moribus. Puta igitur me furiosum esse, cede insaniae, id est ocius foras exi." H Confusus hac denuntiatione Eumolpus non quaesiit iracundiae causam, sed continue limen egressus ad- duxit repente ostium celiac meque nihil tale expe- etantem inclusit, exemitque raptim clavem et ad Gitona investigandum cucurrit.

Inclusus ego suspendio vitam finire constitui. Et iam semicinctio lectii}- stantis ad parietem spondam vinxeram cervicesque nodo condebam, cum reseratis foribus intrat Eumolpus cum Gitone meque a fatali iam meta revocat ad lucem. Giton praecipue ex do- lore in rabiem efferatus toUit clamorem, me utraque manu impulsum praecipitat super lectum, erras " inquit Encolpi, si putas contingere posse, ut ante moriaris. Prior coepi ; in Ascylti hospitio gladium quaesivi. Ego si te non invenissem, periturus per praecipitia fui. Et ut scias non longe esse quaeren- tibus mortem, specta invicem, quod me spectare vo- luisti. ' ' Haec locutus mercennario Eumolpi novaculam rapit et semel iterumque cervice percussa ante pedes collabitur nostros. Exclamo ego attonitus, secutusque • labentem eodem ferramento ad mortem viam quaero. Sed neque Giton ulla erat suspicione vulneris laesus, neque ego ullum sentiebam dolorem. Rudis enim ' lecti added by Buecheler. 188

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quenched my wrath by his tactful departure. Then, as my fury cooled a little, I said, I would prefer even that you should talk poetry now, Eumolpus, rather than harbour such hopes. I am choleric, and you are lecherous: you understand that these dispositions do not suit each other. Well, regard me as a maniac, yield to my infirmity, in short, get out quick." Eumolpus was staggered by this attack, and never asked why I was angry, but went out of the room at once and suddenly banged the door, taking me com- pletely by surprise and shutting me in. He pulled out the key in a moment and ran off to look for Giton.

I was locked in. I made up my mind to hang my- self and die. I had just tied a belt to the frame of a bed which stood by the Mall, and was pushing my neck into the noose, when the door was unlocked, Eumolpus came in with Giton, and called me back to light from the very bomne of death. Nay, Giton passed from grief to raving madness, and raised a shout, pushed me with both hands and threw me on the bed, and cried, Encolpius, you are MTong if you suppose you could possibly die before me. I thought of suicide first ; I looked for a sword in Ascyltos's lodgings. If I had not found you I would have hurled mjself to death over a precipice. I will show you that death stands close by those who seek him : behold in your turn the scene you wished me to behold."

With these words he snatched a razor from Eumol- pus' s ser\'ant, drew it once, tv^ice across his throat, and tumbled down at our feet. I gave a cry of horror, rushed to him as he fell, and sought the road of death with the same steel. But Giton was not marked with any trace of a wound, and I did not feel the least pain. The razor was untempered, and specially blunted

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novacula et in hoc retusa, ut pueris discentibus auda- ciam tonsoris daret, instruxerat thecam. Ideoque nee mercennarius ad raptum ferramentum expaverat, nee Eumolpus interpellaverat mimicam mortem. 95 LO I Dum haec fabula inter amantes luditur, dever- sitor cum parte cenulae intervenit, contemplatusque foedissimam volutationem iacentium rogo" inquit ebrii estis, an fugitivi, an utrumque? Quis autem grabatum ilium erexit^ aut quid sibi vult tam furtiva molitio? Vos mehercules ne mercedem celiac daretis, fugere nocte in publicum voluistis. Sed non impune. lam enim faxo sciatis non viduae hanc insulam esse sed M. Mannicii." Exclamat Eumolpus etianr minaris?" simulque os hominis palma excussissima pulsat. Ille tot hospitum potionibus liberum urceo- lum fictilem in Eumolpi caput iaculatus est solvitque clamantis frontem et de cella se proripuit. Eumolpus contumeliae impatiens rapit ligneum candelabrum sequiturque abeuntem et creberrimis ictibus super- cilium suum vindicat. Fit concursus familiae liospi- tumque ebriorum frequentia. Ego autem nactus occasionem vindictae Eumolpum excludo, redditaque scordalo vice sine aemulo scilicet et cella utor et nocte.

Interim coctores insulariique mulcant exelusum et alius veru extis stridentibus plenum in oculos eius intentat, alius furca de carnario rapta statum proelian- tis componit. Anus praecipue lippa, sordidissimo praecincta linteo^ soleis ligneis imparibus imposita, 190

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in order to give boy pupils the courage of a barber : and so it had gro^^■n a sheath. So the servant had not been alarmed when the steel was snatched from him, and Eumolpus did not interrupt our death-scene.

WTiile this lover's play was being performed, an 95 inmate of the house came in with part of our little dinner, and after looking at us rolling in disarray on the ground he said. Are you drunk, please, or run- away slaves, or both ? Who turned the bed up there, and M'hat do all these sneaking contrivances mean? I declare you meant to run off in the dark into the public street rather than pay for your room. But you shall pay for it. I will teach you that these lodgings do not belong to a poor widow, but to Marcus Mannicius." "what?" shouted Eumolpus, " j'ou dare threaten us.* And as he sp)oke he struck the man in the face with all the force of his outstretched hand. The man hurled a little earthenware p>ot, which was empty, all the guests having dnmk from it, at Eumolpus' s head, broke the skin of his forehead in the midst of his clamour, and rushed out of the room. Eumolpus would not brook an insult ; he seized a wooden candlestick and followed the lodger out, and avenged his bloody forehead with a rain of blows. All the household ran up, and a crowd of drunken lodgers. I had a chance of punishing Eumolpus, and I shut him out, and so got even with the bully, and of course had tlie room and my sleep to myself without a rival.

Meanwhile cooks and lodgers belaboured him now that he was locked out, and one thrust a spit fiill of hissing meat into his eyes, another took a fork from a dresser and struck a fighting attitude. Above all, a blear-eyed old woman with a verj' dirty linen A^-rap round her. balancing herself on an imeven pair of

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canem ingentis magnitudinis catena trahit instigatque in Eumolpon. Sed ille candelabro se ab omni peri- culo vindicabat. Videbamus nos omnia per foramen

96 valvae, quod paulo ante ansa ostioli rupta laxaverat, favebamque ego vapulanti. Giton autem non oblitus misericordiae suae reserandum esse ostium succurren- dumque periclitanti censebat. Ego durante adhuc iracundia non continui manum, sed caput miserantis stricto acutoque articulo percussi. Et ille quidem flens consedit in lecto. Ego autem alternos oppone-

L bam foramini oculos iniuriaque Eumolpi | velut quo- LO dam cibo me replebam i advocationemque commen- dabam, cum procurator insulae Bargates a cena excitatus a duobus lecticariis in mediam rixam per- fertur; nam erat etiam pedibus aeger, is ut rabiosa barbaraque voce in ebrios fugitivosque diu peroravit, respiciens ad Eumolpon o poetarum" inquit diser- tissime, tu eras? Et non discedunt ocius nequissimi servi manusque continent a rixa?" . . . L j Contubernalis mea mihi fastum facit. Ita si, me amas, maledic illam versibus, ut habeat pudorem " . .

97 Dum Eumolpus cum Bargate in secreto loquitur, intrat stabulum praeco cum servo publico aliaque sane modica frequentia, facemque fumosam magis quara lucidam quassans haec proclamavit: puer in balneo paulo ante aberravit, annorum circa xvi, crispus, mollis, formosus, nomine Giton. Si quis eum reddere aut commonstrare voluerit, accipiet nummos mille"

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clogs^ took the lead, brought up a dog of enormous size on a chain, and set him on to Eumolpus. But the candlestick was enough to protect him from all danger.

We saw everj-thing through a hole in the folding 96 doors, which had been made by the handle of the door being broken a short time before; and I was delighted to see him thrashed. But Giton clung to compassion, and said we ought to open the door and go and rescue him from peril. My indignation was still awake; I did not hold my hand, I rapped his compassionate head with mj' sharp clenched knuckles. He cried and sat down on the bed. I put my eyes to the chink by turns, and gorged myself on the miseries of Eumolpus Uke a dainty dish, and approved their prolongation. Then Bargates, the man in charge of the lodging-house, was disturbed at his dinner, and two chairmen carried him right into the brawl ; for he had gouty feet. In a furious \-ulgar voice he made a long oration against drunkards and escaped slaves, and then he looked at Eumolpus and said, WTiat, most learned bard, was it you ? Get away quick, you damned slaves, and keep your hands from quarrelling." . .

My mistress despises me. So curse her for me in rhyme, if you love me, and put shame into her." . .

While Eumolpus was talking privately to Bargates, 97 a crier came into the house vrith a municipal slave and quite a small crowd of other people, shook a torch which gave out more smoke than light, and made this proclamation : Lost recently in the public baths, a boy aged about sixteen, hair curly, low habits, of attractive appearance, answers to the name of Giton. A reward of a thousand pieces will be paid to any person wilhng to bring him back or indicate his where- o 193

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER Nee longe a praecone Ascyltos stabat amictus dis- coloria veste atque in lance argentea indicium et fidem praeferebat. Imperavi Gitoni, ut raptim gra- batum subiret anneeteretque pedes et manus institis, quibus sponda culcitam ferebat, ac sic ut olim Vlixes Cyclopis arieti' adhaesisset, extentus infra grabatum scrutantium eluderet manus. Non est moratus Giton imperium momentoque temporis inseruit vinculo manus et Vlixem astu simillimo vicit. Ego ne suspicioni re- linquerem locum, lectulum vestimentis implevi uni- usque hominis vestigium ad corporis mei mensuram figuravi.

Interim Ascyltos ut pererravit omnes cum viatore cellas, venit ad meam, et hoc quidem pleniorem spem concepit, quo diligentius oppessulatas invenit fores. Publicus vero servus insertans commissuris secures claustrorum firmitatem laxavit. Ego ad genua Ascylti procubui et per memoriam amicitiae perque societa- tem miseriarum petii, ut saltem ostenderet fratrem. Immo ut fidem haberent fictae preces, scio te " inquam Ascylte, ad occidendum me venisse. Quo enim secures attulisti ? Itaque satia iracundiam tuam : praebeo ecce cervicem, funde sanguinem, quem sub praetextu quaestionis petisti." Amolitur Ascyltos in- vidiam et se vero nihil aliud quam fugitivum suum dixit quaerere, mortem nee hominis concupisse nee sup- plicis, utique eius quem post fatalem rixam habuisset

' Cyclopis arieti Buecheler : pro ariete. 2 habuisset Buecheler : habuit.

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abouts." Ascyltos stood close by the crier in clothes of many colours, holding out the reward on a silver dish to prove his honesty. I told Giton to get under the bed at once, and hook his feet and hands into the webbing which held up the mattress on the frame, so that he might evade the grasp of searchers by stay- ing stretched out under the bed, just as Ulysses of old clung on to the ram of the Cyclops.^ Giton obeyed orders at once, and in a second had slipped his hands into the webbing, and surpassed even Ulj'sses at his own tricks. I did not want to leave any room for suspicion, so I stuffed the bed with clothes, and arranged them in the shape of a man about my own height sleeping bj' himself.

Meanwhile Ascjltos went round all the rooms with a constable, and when he came to mine, his hopes swelled within him at finding the door bolted with especial care. The municipal slave put an axe into the joints, and loosened the bolts from their place. I fell at Ascyltos's feet, and besought him, by the memory of our friendship and the miseries we had shared, at least to show me my brother. Further to win behef in my sham prayers, I said, I know you have come to kill me, Ascyltos. Else why have you brought an axe with you ? Well, satisfy your rage. Here is my neck, shed my blood, the real object of your pre- tended legal search." Ascyltos threw off his resent- ment, and declared that he wanted nothing but his own runaway slave, that he did not desire the death of any man or any suppliant, much less of one whom he loved very dearly now that their deadly dispute was o\-er.

' See Homer's Odyssey, Book ix. Ulysses escaped from the den of the Cyclops Polyphemus by clinging to the belly of a ram, when Polyphemus sent out his Socks to graze.

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98 cafissimum. At non servus publicus tam languide agit, sed raptam cauponi harundinem subter lectum mittit omniaque etiam foramina parietum scrutatur. Subducebat Giton ab ictu corpus et reducto timidis- sime spiritu ipsos sciniphes ore tangebat . . .

Eumolpus autem, quia efFractum ostium celiac ne- minem poterat excludere, irrumpit perturbatus et mille" inquit nummos inveni ; iam enim persequar abeuntem praeconem et in potestate tua esse Gitonem meritissima proditione' monstrabo." Genua ego per- severantis amplector, ne morientes vellet occidere, et "merito" inquam ' excandesceres^ si posses perditum^ ostendere. Nunc inter turbam puer fugit, nee quo abierit, suspicari possum. Per fidem, Eumolpe, reduc puerum et vel Ascylto redde." Dum haec ego iam credenti persuadeo, Giton collectione spiritus plenus ter continuo ita sternutavit, ut grabatum concuteret. Ad quern motum Eumolpus conversus salvere Gitona iubet. Remota etiam culcita videt Vlixem, cui vel esuriens Cyclops potuisset parcere. Mox conversus ad me "quid est" inquit "latro? ne deprehensus quidem ausus es mihi verum dicere. Immo ni deus quidam humanarum rerum arbiter pendenti puero excussisset indicium, elusus circa popinas errarem" . , . Giton longe blandior quam ego, primum araneis oleo madentibus vulnus, quod in supercilio factum erat, coartavit. Mox palliolo suo laceratam mutavit

' proditone Richard : propositione. "^ perditumyacoi^ ; proditum.

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But the constable was not so deficient in energy. 98 He took a cane from the inn-keeper, and pushed it under the bed, and poked into everything, even the cracks in the walls. Giton twisted away from the stick, drew in his breath very gently, and pressed his lips close against the bugs in the bedding. . . The broken door of the room could not keep anyone out, and Eumolpus rushed in in a fury, and cried, ' I have found a thousand pieces ; for I mean to follow the crier as he goes awaj^, and betray you as you richly deserve, and tell him that Giton is in your hands." He per- sisted, I fell at his feet, besought him not to kill a dying man, and said. You might well be excited if you could show him the lost one. As it is, the boy has run awa5' in the crowd, and I have not the least idea where he has gone. As j'ou love me, Eumolpus, get the boy back, and give him to Ascjltos if you like." I was just inducing him to believe me, when Giton burst with holding his breath, and all at once sneezed three times so that he shook the bed. Eumolpus turned round at the noise, and said Good day, Giton." He pulled off the mattress, and saw an Ulysses whom even a hungry Cyclops might have spared. Then he turned on me. Now, you thief; you did not dare to tell me the truth even when j-ou were caught. In fact, unless the God who controls man's destiny had wrung a sign from this boy as he hung there, I should now be wandering round the pot-houses like a fool." . . .

Giton was far more at ease than I. He first stanched a cut which had been made on Eumolpus's forehead with spider's webs soaked in oil. He then took off his torn clothes, and in exchange gave him a short cloak of his own, then put his arms round him, for

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vestem, amplexusque iam mitigatum osculis tanquam fomentis aggressus est et 'in tua" inquit "pater earissime, in tua sumus custodia. Si Gitona tuum amas, incipe velle servare. Utinam me solum inimicus ignis hauriret vel hibernum invaderet mare. Ego enim omnium scelerum materia, ego causa sum. Si perirem, conveniret inimicis" . . . 99 ego sic semper et ubique vixi, ut ultimam quam-

que lucem tanquam non redituram consumerem "... profusis ego lacrimis rogo quaesoque, ut mecum quo- que redeat in gratiam : neque enim in amantium esse potestate furiosam aemulationem. Daturum tamen operam, ne aut dieam aut faciam amplius, quo possit ofFendi. Tantum omnem scabitudinem animo tan- quam bonarum artium magister deleret sine cicatrice. Incultis asperisque regionibus diutius nives haerent, ast ubi aratro domefacta tellus nitet, dum loqueris, levis pruina dilabitur. Similiter in pectoribus ira con- sidit: feras quidem mentes obsidet, eruditas praelabi- tur." Ut scias " inquit Eumolpus verum esse, quod dicis, ecce etiam osculo iram finio. Itaque, quod bene eveniat, expedite sarcinulas et vel sequimini me vel, si mavultis, ducite." Adhuc loquebatur, cum crepuit ostium impulsum, stetitque in limine barbis horrentibus nauta et moraris " inquit Eumolpe, tanquam propudium ignores." Haud mora, omnes consurgimus, et Eumolpus quidem mercennarium su- um iam olim dormientem exire cum sarcinis iubet. Ego cum Gitone quicquid erat, in iter^ compono et adoratis sideribus intro navigium . . . ' iter Buecheler : alter. 198

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he was now softening, poulticed him with kisses, and said, ' Dearest father, we are in your hands, yours entirely. If you love your Giton, make up your mind to save him. I wish the cruel fire might engulf me alone, or the wintry sea assail me. I am the object of all his transgressions, I am the cause. If I were gone, you two might patch up your quarrel." . .

At all times and in all places I have lived such a 99 life that I spent each passing day as though that light would never return." . .

I burst into tears, and begged and prayed him to be friends again with me too : a true lover was incapa- ble of mad jealousy. At the same time I would take care to do nothing more in word or deed by which he could possibly be hurt. Only he must remove aU irritation from his mind like a man of true culture^ and leave no scar. On the ■wild rough uplands the snow lies late, but when the earth is beautiful under the mastery of the plough, the light frost passes while you speak. Tlius anger dwells in our hearts ; it takes root in the savage, and glides over the man of learn- ing." There," said Eumolpus, you see what you say is true. Behold, I banish my anger with a kiss. So good luck go with us. Get ready your luggage and follow me, or lead the way if you hke." He was still talking, when a knock sounded on the door, and a sailor -with a straggly beard stood at the entrance and said. You hang about, Eumolpus, as if you did not know a Blue Peter by sight." We all got up in a hurry, and Eumolpus ordered his slave, who had now been asleep for some time, to come out with his baggage. Giton and I put together all we had for a journey; I asked a blessing of the stars, and went aboard.

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100 molestum est quod puer hospiti placet. Quid

autem? Non commune est, quod natura optimum fecit? Sol omnibus lucet. Luna innumerabilibus comitata sideribus etiam feras ducit ad pabulum. Quid aquis dici formosius potest? In publico tamen manant. Solus ergo amor furtum potius quam prae- mium erit ? Immo vero nolo habere bona, nisi quibus populus inviderit. Unus, et senex, non erit gravis; etiam cum voluerit aliquid sumere, opus anhelitu pro- det." Haec ut infra fiduciam posui fraudavique animum dissidentem, coepi somnum obruto tunieula capite mentiri.

Sed repente quasi destruente fortuna constantiam meam eiusmodi vox super constratum puppis conge- muit: ergo me derisit?" Et haec quidem virilis et paene auribus meis familiaris animum palpitantem percussit. Ceterum eadem indignatione mulier lace- rata ulterius excanduit et Si quis deus manibus meis " inquit Gitona imponeret, quam bene exulem exciperem."^ Uterque nostrum tam inexpectato ictus sono amiserat sanguinem. Ego praeeipue quasi som- nio quodam turbulento circumactus diu vocem collegi tremebundisque manibus Eumolpi iam in soporem labentis laciniam duxi et ' Perfidem" inquam pater, cuius haec navis est, aut quos vehat, dicere potes?" Inquietatus ille moleste tulit et "Hoc erat" inquit " quod placuerat tibi, ut supra constratum navis occu- paremus secretissimum locum, ne nos patereris requi- escere ? Quid porro ad rem pertinet, si dixero Licham

^ exciperem marg-in ed. of Tornaesius : exciperet.

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I am annoyed because the boy takes a stranger's 100 fancy. But are not all the finest works of nature common property? The sun shines upon all men. The moon with countless troops of stars in her train leads even the beasts to their food. Can we imagine anj-thing more lovely than water? yet it flows for all the world. Then shall love alone be stolen rather than enjoj-ed ? The truth is that I do not care for possessions unless the common herd are jealous ot them. One rival, and he too an old man, will not be troublesome ; even if he wants to gain an advantage, his shortness of breath will give him away." \Mien I had made these points without any confidence, de- ceiving my protesting spirit, I covered my head in my cloak and pretended to be asleep.

But suddenly, as though fate were in arms against my resolution, a voice on the ship's deck said with a groan, Uke this: So he deceived me, then?" These manly tones were somehow familiar to my ear, and my heart beat fast as they struck me. But then a woman torn by the same indignation broke out yet more vehemently: "Ah, if the gods would deliver Giton into my hands, what a fine welcome I would give the runaway." The shock of these unexpected sounds drove all the blood out of botli of us. I felt as if I were being hunted round in some troubled dream ; I was a long while finding my voice, and then pulled Eumolpus's clothes with a shaking hand, just as he was falling into a deep sleep, and said, "Tell me the truth, father ; can you say who owns this ship, or who is on board?" He was annoyed at being dis- turbed, and replied. Was this why j^ou chose a quiet comer on deck, on purpose to prevent us from getting any rest? What on earth is the use of my telling you

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Tarentinum esse dominum huiusce navigii, qui Try- 101 phaenam exulem Tarentum ferat?" Intremui post hoc fulmen attonitus, iuguloque detecto aliquando " inquam Totum me, Fortuna, vicisti." Nam Giton quidem super pectus meum positus diu animam egit. Deinde ut effusus sudor utriusque spiritum revocavit, comprehendi Eumolpi genua et Miserere " inquam morientium et pro consortio studiorum commoda manum ; mors venit, quae nisi per te non licet, potest esse pro munere." Inundatus hac Eumolpus invidia iurat per deos deasque se neque scire quid accident, nee ullum dolum malum consilio adhibuisse, sed mente simplicissima et vera fide in navigium comites in- duxisse, quo ipse iam pridem fuerit usurus. Quae autem hie insidiae sunt " inquit aut quis nobiscum Hannibal navigat? Lichas Tarentinus, homo vere- cundissimus et non tantum huius navigii dominus, quod regit, sed fundorum etiam aliquot et familiae negotiantis, onus deferendum ad mercatum conducit. Hie est Cyclops ille et archipirata, cui vecturam de- bemus ; et praeter hunc Tryphaena, omnium femina- rum formosissima, quae voluptatis causa hue atque illuc vectatur." " Hi sunt " inquit Giton quosfugimus" simulque raptim causas odiorum et instans periculum trepidanti Eumolpo exponit. Confusus ille et consilii egens iubet quemque suam sententiam promere et " Fingite " inquit nos antrum Cyclopis intrasse. Quaerendum est aliquod effugium. nisi naufragium 20^

SATYRICON

that Lichas of Tarentum is the master of this boat, and is carrjing Tryphaena to Tarentum under a sen- tence of banishment ? " I was thunderstruck at this 101 blow. I bared my throat, and cried, Ah, Fate, at last you have smitten me hip and thigli." For Giton, who was sprawling over me, had already fainted. Then the sweat broke out on us and called us both back to life. I took Eumolpus by the knees, and cried, Mercy on us ! We are dead men. Help us, I implore you by our fellowship in learning; death is upon us, and we may come to welcome death, unless you prevent us from doing so."

Eumolpus was overwhelmed by this attack, and ffwore by gods and goddesses that he did not under- stand what had happened, and had no sinister inten- tions in his mind, but had taken us to share the voyage with him in perfect honesty and absolute good faith ; he had been meaning to sail himself some time be- fore. * Is there any trap here?" he said, and who is the Hannibal we have on board ? Lichas of Taren- tmn is a respectable person. He is not only owner and captain of this ship, but has several estates and some slaves in business. He is carrying a cargo consigned to a market. This is the ogre and pirate king to whom we owe our passage ; and besides, there is Try- phaena, loveliest of women, who sails from one place to another in search of pleasure." But it is these two we are running away from," said Giton, and poured out the story of our feud, and explained our inmiinent danger, till Eumolpus shook. He became muddled and helpless, and asked us each to put for- ward our \iews. * I would have you imagine that we have entered the ogre's den," he said. We must find some way out, unless we run the ship aground and

203

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

poniinus et omni nos periculo liberamus." "immo" inquit Giton persuade gubernatori, ut in aliquem portum navem deducat, non sine praemio scilicet, et affirma ei impatientem maris fratrem tuum in ultimis esse. Poteris hanc simulationem et vultus confusione et lacrimis obumbrare, ut misericordia permotus guber- nator indulgeat tibi." Negavit hoc Eumolpus fieri posse, quia magna" inquit navigia portubus se curvatis insinuant, nee tam cito fratrem defecisse veri simile erit. Accedit his, quod forsitan Lichas officii causa visere languentem desiderabit. Vides, quam valde nobis expediat, ultro dominum ad fugientes accersere.^ Sed finge navem ab ingenti posse cursu deflecti et Licham non utique circumiturum aegrorum cubilia: quomodo possumus egredi nave, ut non con- spiciamur a cunctis? Opertis capitibus, an nudis? Opertis, et quis non dare manum languentibus volet? 102 Nudis, et quid erit aliud quam se ipsos proscribere ? " Quin potius" inquam ego ad temeritatem confugi- mus et per funem lapsi descendimus in scapham prae- cisoque vinculo reliqua fortunae committimus ? Nee ego in hoc periculum Eumolpon arcesso. Quid enim attinet innocentem alieno periculo imponere ? G)n- tentus sum, si nos descendentes adiuverit casus." Non imprudens " inquit consilium " Eumolpos si aditum haberet. Quis enim non euntes notabit? Utique gubernator, qui pervigil nocte siderum quoque motus custodit. Et utcunque imponi nihil^ dormienti posset, si per aliam partem navis fuga quaereretur: nunc per puppim, per ipsa gubernacula delabendum est, a quorum regione funis descendit, qui scaphae

' accersere Buecheler : accedere. ' nihil Buecheler : vel.

W4,

SATYRICON

fi^e ourselves from all danger." No/' said Giton, persuade the helmsman to run the boat into some harbour. Pay him well, of course, and tell him your brother cannot stand the sea, and is at his last gasp. You A*-ill be able to hide your deception by the con- fused look and the tears on your face. You will touch the helmsman's heart, and he will do you a favour." Eumolpus declared that this was imp)Ossible : ' These large boats only steer into landlocked harbours, and it is incredible that our brother should collapse so soon. Besides, Lichas may perhaps ask to see the sick man as a matter of kindness. You realize what a fine turn we should do ourselves by leading the master up to his runaways with our own hands. But supposing the ship could be turned aside from her long passage, and Lichas did not after all go round the patient's beds ; how could we leave the ship A^ithout being seen by every one? Cover our heads, or bare them? Cover them, and every one will want to lend his arm to the poor sick man I Bare them, that is nothing more or less than proscribing ourselves." "No," I said, "l 102 should prefer to take refuge in boldness, slip down a rope into the boat, cut the painter, and leave the rest to luck. I do not invite Eumolpus to share the risk. It is not fair to load an innocent person with another's troubles. I am satisfied if chance will help us to get down." It is a clever plan," said Eumolpus, 'if there were any way of starting it. But every one will see you going : especially the helmsman, who watches all night long, and keeps guard even over the motions of the stars. Of course you might elude his unsleep- ing watchfulness, if you wanted to escape off another part of the ship ; but as it is, you want to slip off the stem close to the helm itself, where the rope which

205

TITUS FETRONIUS ARBITER custodiam tenet. Praeterea illud miror, Encolpi, tibi non succurrisse, unum nautam stationis perpetuae in- terdiu noctuque iacere in scapha, nee posse inde custodem nisi aut caede expelli aut praecipitari viribus. Quod an fieri possit^ interrogate audaciam vestram. Nam quod ad meum quidem comitatum attinet, nul- lum recuso periculum, quod salutis spem ostendit. Nam sine causa [quidem] spiritum tanquam rem vaeuam impendere ne vos quidem existimo velle. Videte, numquid hoc placeat: ego vos in duas iam pelles coniciam vinctosque loris inter vestimenta pro sarcinis habebo, apertis scilicet aliquatenus labris, qui- bus et spiritum recipere possitis et cibum. Conclamabo deinde nocte servos poenam graviorem timentes prae- cipitasse se in mare. Deinde cum ventum fuerit in portum, sine ulla suspicione pro sarcinis vos efFeram." Ita vero " inquam ego tanquam solidos alligaturus, quibus non sol eat venter iniuriam facere? An tan- quam eos qui sternutare non soleamus nee stertere? An quia hoc genus furti semel [mea] feliciter cessit? Sed finge una die vinctos posse durare : quid ergo, si diutius aut tranquillitas nos tenuerit aut adversa tem- pestas? Quid facturi sumus? Vestes quoque diutius vinctas ruga consumit, et chartae alligatae mutant figuram. luvenes adhuc laboris expertes statuarum ritu patiemur pannos et vincla?" . . . " Adhuc aliquod iter salutis quaerendum est. Inspi- cite, quod ego inveni. Eumolpus tanquam litterarum 206

SATYRICON

holds the boat safe hangs just by. Again, I am sur- prised that it did not occur to you, Encolpius, that one sailor is always on duty night and day Ijing in the boat, and you cannot turn this sentry out except by killing him, or throw him out except by force. You must ask j'our own bold heart whether that can be done. As far as my coming with you goes, I do not shirk anj' danger which offers a chance of safetj'. But I suppose that even you do not wish to squander your lives like a vain trifle without any reason. Now see whether you approve of this. I will roll you in two bales, tie you up, and put you among my clothes as luggage, of course lea\'ing the ends a bit open, so that you can get your breath and your food. Then I A^ill raise the cry that my slaves have jumped overboard in the dark, being afraid of some hea^ie^ punishment. Then after we have arrived in harbour, I will carry vou out like baggage without arousing any suspicion." " What," I cried, ' tie us up like wholly solid i)eople whose stomachs never make them unhappy? Like people who never sneeze nor snore? Just because this kind of trick on one occasion turned out a success^? But even supposing we could endure one day tied up : what if we were detained longer by a calm or by rough weather? What should we do? Even clothes that are tied up too long get creased and spoilt, and papers in bundles lose their shape. Are we young fellows who never worked in our lives to put up with bondage in dirty cloths as if we were statues ? . . . No, we still have to find some way of salvation. Look at what I thought of. Eimiolpus, as a man of learning,

Cleopatra had herself conveyed to Julius Caesar at

Alexandria wrapped up in a carpet. Plutarch : Life oj Caesar, c. 49. Shaw : Caesar and Cleopatra, Act iii.

207

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

studiosus utique atramentum habet. Hoc ergo remedio mutemus colores a capillis usque ad ungues. Ita tan- quam servi Aethiopes at praesto tibi erimus sine tormentorum iniuria hilares, et permutato colore im- ponemus inimicis." Quidni?" inquit Giton etiam circumcide nos, ut ludaei videamur, et pertunde aures, ut imitemur Arabes, et increta facies, ut suos Gallia cives putet: tanquam hie solus color figuram possit pervertere et non multa una oporteat consentiant [et non] ratione, wi^ niendacium constet. Puta infectam medicamine faciem diutius durare posse; finge nee aquae asperginem imposituram aliquam corpori macu- 1am, nee vestem atramento adhaesuram, quod fre- quenter etiam non accersito ferrumine infigitur: age, numquid et labra possumus tumore taeterrimo implere ':! Numquid et crines calamistro convertere ? Numquid et frontes cicatricibus scindere? Numquid et crura in orbem pandere ? Numquid et talos ad terram de- ducere? Numquid et barbam peregrina ratione figurare ? Color arte compositus inquinat corpus, non mutat. Audite, quid amenti^ succurrerit : praeligemus vestibus capita et nos in profundum mergamus." 103 Ne istud dii hominesque patiantur" Eumolpus ex- clamat " ut vos tam turpi exitu vitam finiatis. Immo potius facite, quod iubeo. Mercennarius meus, ut ex novacula comperistis, tonsor est: hie continue radat

' et non bracketed, ut added by Buechelet. ^ amenti Buecheler : timenti. 208

SATYRICON is sure to have some ink. We will use this medicine to dye ourselves^ hair, nails, everj-thing. Then we will stand by you with pleas\u"e like Aethiopian slaves, without undergoing any tortures, and our change of colour yrill take in our enemies." Oh I yes," said Giton, and please circumcise us too, so that we look like Jews, and bore our ears to imitate Arabians, and chalk our faces till Gaul takes us for her own sons ; as if this colour alone could alter our shapes, when it takes a number of points in unison to make a good lie. Suppose the stain of dye on the face could last for some time ; imagine that never a drop of water could make any mark on our skins, nor our clothes stick to the ink, which often clings to us without the use of any cement : but, tell me, can we make our lips swell to a hideous thickness? Or transform our hair with curling-tongs ? Or plough up our fore- heads with scars? Or walk bow-legged? Or bend our ankles over to the ground? Or trim our beards in a foreign cut? Artificial colours dirty one's body without altering it. Listen, I have thought of this in desperation. Let us tie our heads in our clothes, and plunge into the deep."

God and man forbid," cried Eumolpus, that you 103

should make such a vUe conclusion of your lives. No,

better take my advice. My slave, as you learned by

his razor, is a barber. Let him shave the head of

p 209

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITJ1.R

utriusque non solum capita, sed etiam supercilia. Sequar ego frontes notans inscriptione sollerti, ut videamini stigmate esse puniti. Ita eaedem litterae et suspicionem declinabunt quaerentium et vultus umbra supplicii tegent."

Non est dilata fallacia, sed ad latus navigii furtim processimus capit^que cum superciliis denudanda tonsori praebuimus. Implevit Eumolpus frontes utriusque ingentibus litteris et notum fugitivorum epigramma per totam faciem liberali manu duxit. Unus forte ex vectoribus, qui acclinatus lateri navis exonerabat stomachum nausea gravem, notavit sibi ad lunam tonsorem intempestivo inhaerentem ministerio, execratusque omen, quod imitaretur naufragorum ultimum votum, in cubile reiectus est. Nos dissimu- lata nauseantis devotione ad ordinem tristitiae redi- mus, silentioque compositi reliquas noctis boras male soj)orati consumpsimus . . . 1 04 Videbatur mihi secundum quietem Priapus dicere :

Encolpion quod quaeris, scito a me in navem tuam esse perductum.'" Exhorruit Tryphaena et Putes" inquit una nos dormiisse ; nam et mihi simulacrum Neptuni, quod Baiis in tetrastylo^ notaveram, videbatur dicere: 'in nave Lichae Gitona invenies.'" Hinc scies" inquit Eumolpus Epicurum esse hominem divinum, qui eiusmodi ludibria facetissima ratione con- demnat" . . .

ceterum Lichas ut Tryphaenae somnium expiavit, " quis ' ' inquit prohibet navigium scnitari, ne videamur divinae mentis opera damnare ? "

• Baiis in tetrastylo Buecheler : Baistor asylo. 210

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each ot you this minute, and your eyebrows as well. Then I will come and mark your foreheads with some neat uiscription, so that you look like slaves punished by branding. These letters will divert inquisitive people's suspicions, and at the same time conceal your faces with the shadow of punishment." We tried the trick at once, and walked cautiously to the side of the ship, and yielded up our heads and eyebrows to the barber to be shorn. Eumolpus covered both our fore- heads with enormous letters, and scrawled the usual mark of runaway slaves all over our faces with a generous hand. But one of the passengers, who was extremely seasick, happened to be leaning over the side of the ship to relieve his stomach, and observed the barber in the moonlight busy with his ill-timed work. The man cursed this for an omen, because it looked like the last offering of a doomed crew, and then threw himself back into his bunk. We pretended not to hear his puking curses, and went on with the gloomy business, and then lay do^wTi in silence and jjassed the remaining hours of the night in uneasy sleep. . .

I thought I heard Priapus say in my dream: 'l 104 tell you, Encolpius whom you seek has been led by me on board your ship.' " Tryphaena gave a scream and said, You would think we had slept together; I dreamed that a picture of Neptune, which I noticed in a gallery at Baiae, said to me : You "will find Giton on board Lichas's ship.' " This shows you," said Eumol- pus, that Epicurus was a superhuman creature; he condemns jokes of this kind in a very witty fashion." . . However, Lichas first prayed that Tryphaena's dream might mean no harm, and then said, "There is no objection to searching the ship to show that we do not despise the workings of Providence." Tlien the p2 211

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Is qui nocte miserorum furtum deprehenderat, Hesus nomine^ subito proclamat : Ergo illi qui sunt, qui nocte ad lunam radebantur pessimo medius fidius exemplo ? Audio enim non licere cuiquam mortalium in nave neque ungues neque capillos deponere, nisi 105 cum pelago ventus irascitur." Excanduit Lichas hoc sermone turbatus et 'Itane" inquit capillos aliquis in nave praecidit, et hoc nocte intempesta? Attrahite ocius nocentes in medium, ut sciam, quorum capitibus debeat navigium lustrari." Ego" inquit Eumolpus hoc iussi. Nee in^ eodem futurus navigio auspicium mihi feci, sed quia nocentes horridos longosque habe- bant capillos, ne viderer de nave carcerem facere, iussi squalorem damnatis auferri ; simul ut notae quo- que litterarum non adumbratae comarum praesidio totae ad oculos legentium acciderent. Inter cetera apud communem amicam consumpserunt pecuniam meam, a qua illos proxima nocte extraxi mero un- guentisque perfusos. Ad summam, adhuc patrimonii mei reliquias olent" . . .

itaque ut tutela navis expiaretur, placuit quadragenas utrique plagas imponi. Nulla ergo fit mora ; aggredi- untur nos furentes nautae cum funibus temptantque vilissimo sanguine tutelam placare. Et ego quidem tres plagas Spartana nobilitate concoxi. Ceterum Giton semel ictus tam valde exclamavit, ut Tryphaenae aures notissima voce repleret. Non solum era* turbata est, sed ancillae etiam omnes familiai'i sono inductae ad vapulantem decurrunt. lam Giton mirabili forma

' nee in Buecheler : nee non. ' era Buecheler : ergo.

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man who had caught us at our wretched tricks the night before, whose name was Hesus, suddenly shouted. Then who are those fellows who were being shaved in the dark by moonlight ? A mighty bad precedent, I swear. I am told that no man alive ought to shed a nail or a hair on board ship, unless winds and waves are raging." x\t this speech Lichas fired up in alarm, 105 and said, "What, has anj'one cut his hair on board my ship, and at dead of night too ? Quick, bring the villains out here. I want to know who is to be pun- ished to give us a clear voyage." Oh," said Eumol- pus, I gave those orders. I was not doing anything unlucky, considering that I had to share the voyage myself. It was because these ruffians had long, dirty hair. I did not want to turn the ship into a prison, so I ordered the filth to be cleared off the brutes. Besides, I did not want the marks of branding to be screened and covered by their hair. They ought to show at full length for every one to read. Further- more, they squandered my money on a certain lady friend of ours ; I pulled them away from her the night before, reeking with wine and scent. In fact, they still stink of the shreds of my inheritance." . .

So it was decided that forty stripes should be in- flicted on each of us to appease the guardian angel of the ship. Not a moment was lost ; the angry sailors ad- vanced upon us with ropes-ends, and tried to soften their guardian angel's heart with our miserable blood. For my part I bore three full blows with Spartan pride. But Giton cried out so lustily the moment he was touched, that his familiar voice filled Trj^phaena's ears. Not only was the ladj' in a flutter, but all her maids were drawn by the well-known tones, and came running to the victim. Giton's loveliness had already

213

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER exannaverat nautas coeperatque etiam sine voce saevi- entes rogare, cum ancillae pariter proclamant : Giton est, Giton, inhibete crudelissimas manus; Giton est, domina, succurre." Deflectit aures Tryphaena iam sua sponte credentes raptimque ad puerum devolat. Lichas, qui me optime noverat, tanquam et ipse vocem audisset, accurrit et nee manus nee faciem meam con- sideravit, sed continuo ad inguina mea luminibus deflexis movit officiosam manum et Salve" inquit

Encolpi." Miretur nunc aliquis Vlixis nutricem post vicesimum annum cicatricem invenisse originis indicem, cum homo prudentissimus confusis omnibus corporis orisque lineam§ntis ad unicura fugitivi argu- mentum tarn docte pervenerit. Tryphaena lacrimas effudit decepta supplicio — vera enim stigmata credebat captivoi'um frontibus impressa — sciscitarique submis- sius coepit, quod ergastulum intercepisset errantes, aut cuius tam crudeles manus in hoc supplicium durassent. Meruisse quidem contumeliam aliquam fugitivos, quibus in odium bona sua venissent . . . 106 concitatus iracundia prosiliit Lichas et O te" inquit

feminam simplicem, tanquam vulnera ferro praepa- rata litteras biberint. Utinam quidem hac se inscrip- tione frontis maculassent: haberemus nos extremum solacium. Nunc mimicis artibus petiti sumus et adumbrata inscriptione derisi."

Volebat Trj'phaena misereri, quia non totam volu- ptatem perdiderat, sed Lichas memor adhuc uxoris

' orisque Buecheler : indiciorumque. 814

SATYRICON

disarmed the sailors ; even without speaking he ap- pealed to his tormentors. Then all the maids screamed out together: It is Giton, it is; stop beating him, you monsters. Help, ma'am, Giton is here." Try- phaena had already convinced herself, and inclined her ear to them, and flew on wings to the boy. Lichas, who knew me intimately, ran up as though he had heard my voice too, and did not glance at my hands or face, sed continuo ad inguina mea luminibus deflexis movit ofSciosam manmn, and said, How are you, Encolpius?" No one need be surprised that Ulysses's nurse discovered the scar^ which revealed his identity after twenty years, when a clever man hit upon the one test of a runaway so bril- liantly, though every feature of his face and body was disguised. Tryphaena, thinking that the marks on our foreheads were real prisoners' brands, cried bitterly over our supposed punishment, and began to inquire more gently what prison had stayed us in our wanderings, and what hand had been so ruthless as to inflict such marks upon us. But, of course," she said, runaway slaves who come to hate their own happiness, do deserve some chastisement." . .

Lichas leaped forward in a transport of rage and 106 cried. You sUly woman, as if these letters were made by the scars of the branding-iron. I only wish they had defiled their foreheads with this inscription: we should have some consolation left. As it is, we are being assailed by an actor's tricks, and befooled by a sham inscription."

Tryphaena besought him to have pity, because she had not lost all her desire for Giton, but the seduction

• See Homer's Odyssey, Book xix. She recognized Ulysses by an old scar on his leg^.

215

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

corruptae contumeliarumquej quas in Herculis porticu acceperat, turbato vehementiusvultu proclamat: "Deos immortales rerum humanarum agere curam, puto, iutellexisti, o Tryphaena. Nam imprudentes iioxios in nostrum induxere navigium, et quid fecissent, ad- monuerunt pari somniorum consensu. Ita vide, ut possit illis ignosci, quos ad poenam ipse deus deduxit. Quod ad me attinet, non sum crudelis, sed vereor, ne quod remisero, patiar." Tam superstitiosa oratione Tryphaena mutata negat se interpellare supplicium, immo accedere etiam iustissimae ultioni. Nee se minus grandi vexatam iniuria quam Licham, cuius pudoris dignitas in contione proscripta sit . . . 107 Me, ut puto, hominem non ignotum, elegerunt ad

hoc officium [legatum] petieruntque, ut se recon- ciUarem ahquando amicissimis. Nisi forte putatis iuvenes casu in has plagas incidisse, cum omnis vector nihil prius quaerat, quam cuius se diligentiae credat. Flectite ergo mentes satisfactione lenitas, et patimini liberos homines ire sine iniuria, quo destinant. Saevi quoque implacabilesque domini crudelitatem suam im- pediunt, si quando paenitentia fugitivos reduxit, et dediticiis hostibus parcimus. Quid ultra petitis aut quid vultis? In conspectu vestro supplices iacent iuvenes ingenui, honesti, et quod utroque potentius est, familiaritate vobis aliquando coniuncti. Si mehercules intervertissent pecuniam vestram, si fidem proditione 216

SATYRICON

of his wife and the insults offered to him in the Porch of Hercules were still in Lichas's mind, and he cried out with a look of still more profound agitation, Try- phaena, I believe you admit that the Gods in Heaven take some trouble about men's affairs. They brought these sinners on board my boat without their know- ledge, and told us what they had done by a coinci- dence in dreams. Then do consider; how can we possibly pardon people whom a God himself has handed over to us for punishment? I am not a bloodthirsty man, but personally I am afraid that if I let them off anything it will fall on me." Tryphaena veered round at this appeal to superstition, declined to interfere with the punishment, and declared that she approved of this most proper vengeance. She had been just as gravely wronged as Lichas, considering that her reputation for chastity had been publicly impugned. . .

I believe I am a man of some reputation, and they 1 07 have chosen me for this duty, and begged me to make it up between them and their old friends. I suppose you do not imagine that these young men have fallen into the snare by chance, when the first care of every one who goes a voyage is to find a trustworthy person to depend on. So unbend the sternness which has been softened by revenge, and let the men go free mthout hindrance to their destination. Even a harsh and unforgiving master reins in his cruelty if his run- aways are at last led back by penitence, and we all spare an enemy who surrenders. What do you want or wish for more ? These free and respectable joung men lie prostrate before your eyes, and what is more important, they were once bound to you by close friend- ship I take my oath that if they had embezzled your money, or hurt you by betraying your confidence, you

217

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER laesissent, satiari tamen potuissetis hac poena, quam videtis. Servitia ecce in frontibus cernitis et vultus ingenues voluntaria poenarum lege proscriptos." In- terpellavit deprecationem supplicii^ Lichas et * Noli " inquit causam confundere, sed impone singulis modum. Ac primum omnium, si ultro venerunt, cur nudavere crinibus capita ? Vultum enim qui permutat, fraudem parat, non satisfactionem. Deinde, si gratiam a legato moliebantur, quid ita omnia fecisti, ut quos tuebaris, absconderes ? Ex quo apparet casu incidisse noxios in plagas et te artem quaesisse, qua nostrae animad- versionis impetum eluderes. Nam quod invidiam facis nobis ingenuos honestosque clamando, vide, ne deteri- orem facias confidentia causam. Quid debent laesi facere, ubi rei ad poenam confugiunt ? At enim amici fuerunt nostri: eo maiora meruerunt supplicia; nam qui ignotos laedit, latro appellatur, qui amicos, paulo minus quam parricida." Resolvit Eumolpos tam ini- quam declamationem et Intellego " inquit nihil magis obesse iuvenibus miseris, quam quod nocte de- posuerunt capillos : hoc argumento incidisse videntur in navem, non venisse. Quod velim tam candide ad aures vestras perveniat, quam simpliciter gestum est. Voluerunt enim antequam conscenderent, exonerare capita molesto et supervacuo pondere, sed celerior ventus distulit curationis propositum. Nee tamen putaverunt ad rem pertinere, ubi inciperent, quod placuerat ut fieret, quia nee omen nee legem navigan-

' supplicii Buecheler : supplicis. 218

SATYRICON

might still be satisfied with the punishment you have seen inflicted. Look, you see slavery on their fore- heads, and their free faces branded imder a self- imposed sentence of punishment. ' ' Lichas interrupted this plea for mercy, saying. Do not go confusing the issue, but let each single point have its place. And first of all, if they came of their own accord, why have they stripped all the hair off their heads ? A man who disguises himself wants to play a trick, not to make amends. Again, if they were contriving some act of grace through a mediator, why did you do everything in your power to hide your proteges away ? All this makes it clear that the ruffians fell into the net by accident, and that you hunted for some device to avoid the force of our displeasure. When you try to pre- judice us by calling them free and respectable, mind you do not spoil your case by impudence. WTiat should an injured party do, when the guilty run Into punishment ? Oh! you say, they were once our friends! Then they deserve the harsher treatment. A person who injures a stranger is called a robber, but a man who hurts his friends is practically a parricide." Eumolpus put an end to this unfair harangue by saying, I know that nothing is more against the poor young men than their cutting their hair at night. This looks like a proof that they came by chance upon the ship and did not come on purpose. Now I want the plain truth to come to your ears just as simply as it happened. They wanted to relieve their heads of the troublesome and useless weight before they came aboard, but the wind got up and postponed their scheme of treatment. They never thought that it made any difference where they began what they had decided to do ; they were quite ignorant of sailors' omens and sea-law." "But

219

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

tium noverant." " Quid " inquit Lichas " attinuit supplices radere? Nisi forte miserabiliores calvi solent esse. Quamquam quid attinet veritatem per inter- pretem quaerere? quid dicis tu, latro? quae salamandra supercilia tua exussit? cui deo 'crinem vovisti? phar- mace, responde." 108 Obstupueram ego supplicii metu pavidus^ nee quid in re manifestissima dicerem, inveniebam turbatus . . . et deformis praeter spoliati capitis dedecus super- ciliorum etiam aequalis cum fronte calvlties, ut nihil nee facere deceret nee dicere. Ut vero spongia uda facies plorantis detersa est et liquefactum per totum OS atramentum omnia scilicet lineamenta fuliginea nube confudit^ in odium se ira convertit. Negat Eumolpus passurum se, ut quisquam ingenuos contra fas legemque contaminet, interpellatque saevientium minas non solum voce sed etiam manibus. Aderat interpellanti mercennarius comes et unus alterque in- firmissimus vector, solacia magis litis quam virium auxilia. Nee quicquam pro me deprecabar, sed inten- tans in oculos Tryphaenae manus usurum me viribus meis clara liberaque voce clamavi, ni abstineret a Gitone iniuriam mulier damnata et in toto navigio sola verberanda. Accenditur audacia mea iratior LichaSj indignaturque quod ego relicta mea causa tantum pro alio clamo. Nee minus Tryphaena con- tumelia saevit accensa totiusque navigii turbam diducit in partes. Hinc mercennarius tonsor ferramenta sua nobis et ipse armatus distribuit, iUinc Tryphaenae 220

SATYRICON

why should they shave themselves to excite pity?" said Lichas, Unless of course bald people are naturally more pitiable. But what is the use of trying to dis- cover the truth through a third person ? Now speak up, you ruffian ! Who was the salamander that singed off your eyebrows ? What God had the promise of your hair ? Answer me, gallows-bird ! "

I was dumb with terror of being punished, and too 108 upset to find a word to say, for the case was only too clear. . . .We were in no position to speak, or do any thing, for to say nothing of the disgrace of our shaven heads, our eyebrows were as bald as our pates. But when a wet sponge was mped down my doleful countenance, and the ink ran over all my face and of course blotted out every feature in a cloud of smut, anger passed into loathing. Eumolpus cried out that he would not allow anyone to disfigure free young men without right or reason, and cut short the angry sailors' threats not only by argument but b}- force. His slave stood by him in his protest, and one or two of the most feeble passengers, who rather consoled him for ha\'ing to fight than increased his strength. For my part I shirked nothing. I shook my fist in Tryphaena's face, and declared in a loud jopen voice that I would use violence to her if she did not leave off hurting Giton, for she was a wicked woman and the only person on the ship who deserved flogging. Lichas's WTath blazed hotter at my daring, and he taunted me \Wth throwing up my own case and only shouting for somebody else. Trj-phaena was equally hot and angry and abusive, and divided the whole ship's company into factions. On our side, the slave barber handed out his blades to us, and kept one for himself, on the other side Trj'phaena's slaves were ready with bare

221

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

familia nudas expedit manus, ac ne ancillarum quidem clamor aciem destituit, uno tantum gubernatore reli- cturum se navis ministerium denuntiante, si non desinat rabies libidine perditorum collecta. Nihilo minus tamen perseverat dimicantiuin furor, illis pro ultione, nobis pro vita pugnantibus. Multi ergo utrinque sine morte labuntur, plures cruenti vulneribus referunt veluti ex proelio pedem, nee tamen cuiusquam ira laxatur. Tunc fortissimus Giton ad virilia sua admovit novaculam infestam, minatus se abscisurum tot mise- riarum causam, inhibuitque Tryphaena tam grande facinus non dissimulata missione. Saepius ego cultrum tonsorium super iugulum meum posui, non magis me occisurus, quam Giton, quod minabatur, facturus. Audacius tamen ille tragoediam implebat, quia sciebat se illam habere novaculam, qua iam sibi cervicem LO praeciderat. \ Stante ergo utraque acie, cum appareret futurum non tralaticium bellum, aegre expugnavit gubernator, ut caduceatoris more Tryphaena indutias faceret. Data ergo acceptaque ex more patrio fide praetendit ramum oleae a tutela navigii raptum, atque in colloquium venire ausa

"Quis furor" exclamat pacem convertit in arma? Quid nostrae meruere manus? Non Troius heros hac in classe vehit decepti pignus Atridae, nee Medea furens fraterno sanguine pugnat. Sed contemptus amor vires habet. Ei mihi, fata hos inter fluctus quis raptis evocat armis? 222

SATYRICON

fists, and even the cries of women were not unheard on the field. The helmsman alone swore that he would give up minding the ship if this madness, which had been stirred up to suit a pack of scoundrels, did not stop. None the less, the fury of the combatants persisted, the enemy fighting for revenge and we for dear life. Many fell on both sides -without fatal results, still more got bloody wounds and retired in the style of a real battle, and still we all raged implacably. Then the gallant Giton turned a razor on himself and threatened to put an end to our troubles by self-mutilation, and Trj'phaena averted the horrible disaster by a fair promise of free- dom. I lifted a barber's knife to my throat several times, no more meaning to kill myself than Giton meant to do what he threatened. Still he filled the tragic part more recklessly, because he knew that he was holding the very razor with which he had already made a cut on his throat. Both sides were drawn up in battle array, and it was plain that the fight would be no ordinary affair, when the helmsman with difficulty induced Tryphaena to con- clude a treaty like a true diplomat. So the usual formal undertakings were exchanged, and she waved an olive- branch which she took from the ship's figure-head, and ventured to come up and talk to us : What madness," she cried, is turning peace into war ? What have our hands done to deserve it ? No Trojan hero^ carries the bride of the cuckold son of Atreus in this fleet, nor does frenzied Medea^ fight her foe by slaying her brother. But love despised is p>owerful. Ah ! who courts destruction among these waves by drawing

'Paris.

' Absyrtus, Medea's brother, and son of Aietes, king of Colchis, plotted against Jason, who had come seeking the Golden Fleece. Medea killed him and fled with Jason.

223

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Cui non est mors una satis? Ne vincite pontum

gurgitibusque feris alios imponite fluctus."

109 Haec ut turbato clamore mulier efFudit, haesit

paulisper acies, revocataeque ad pacem manus inter-

misere bellum. Utitur paenitentiae occasione dux

Eumolpos et castigato ante vehementissime Licha

tabulas foederis signatj quis haec formula erat: Ex

tui animi sententia, ut tu, Tryphaena, neque iniuriam

tibi factam a Gitone quereris, neque si quid ante hunc

diem factum est^ obicies vindicabisve aut ullo alio

genera persequendum curabis; ut tu nihil imperabis

puero repugnanti, non amplexum, non osculum, non

coitum venere constrictum, nisi pro qua re praesentes

numeraveris denarios centum. Item, Licha, ex tui

animi sententia, ut tu Encolpion nee verbo contume-

lioso insequeris nee vultu, neque quaeres ubi nocte

dormiat, aut si quaesieris, pro singulis iniuriis numera-

bis praesentes denarios ducenos." In haec verba

L foederibus compositis arma deponimus, | et ne residua

in animis etiam post iusiurandum ira remaneret, prae-

terita aboleri osculis placet. Exhortantibus universis

odia detumescunt, epulaeque ad certamen prolatae

LO conciliant hilaritate concordiam.^ | Exsonat ergo can-

tibus totum navigium, et quia repentina tranquillitas

intermiserat cursum, alius exultantes quaerebat fuscina

pisces, alius hamis blandientibus convellebat praedam

repugnantem. Ecce etiam per antemnam pelagiae

consederant volucres, quas textis harundinibus peritus

'concordiam Buecheler : concilium.

22*

SATYRICON

the sword ? Who does not find a single death enough ? Do not strive to outdo the sea and heap fresh waves upon its savage floods."

The woman poured out these words in a loud excited 1 09 voice, the fighting died away for a little while, our hands were recalled to the way of peace, and dropped the war. Our leader Eumolpus seized the occasion of their relenting, and after making a warm attack on Lichas, signed the treaty, which ran as follows: " Agreed on your part, Tryphaena, that you will not complain of any wrong done to you by Giton, and if any has been done to you before this date will not bring it up against him or punish him or take steps to follow it up in any other way whatsoever; that you will give the boy no orders which he dislikes, for a hug, a kiss, or a lover's close embrace, without paying a hundred pieces for it cash down. Further- more, it is agreed on your part, Lichas, that you will not pursue Encolpius with insulting words or grimaces, nor inquire where he sleeps at night, or if you do in- quire will pay two hundred pieces cash do^^•n for every injurious act done to him." Peace was made on these terms, and we laid down our arms, and for fear any vestige of anger should be left in our minds, even after taking the oath, we decided to wipe out the past with a kiss. There Avas applause all round, our hatred died down, and a feast which had been brought for the fight cemented our agreement with joviality. Then the whole ship rang with songs ; and a sudden calm ha\ing stayed us in our course, one man pursued the leaping fish with a spear, another pulled in his struggling prey on alluring hooks. Besides all this, some sea-birds settled on one of the yards, and a clever sportsman took them in with Jointed rod of Q 225

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

artifex tetigit; illae viscatis illigatae viminibus defe- rebantur ad manus. Tollebat plumas aura volitantes, pinnasque per maria inanis spuma torquebat.

lam Lichas redire mecum in gratiam coeperat, iam Tryphaena Gitona extrema parte potionis spargebat, cum Eumolpus et ipse vino solutus dicta voluit in calvos stigmososque iaculari, donee consumpta frigidis- sima urbanitate rediit ad carmina sua coepitque capil- lorum elegidarion dicere:

Quod solum formae decus est, cecidere capilli,

vernantesque comas tristis abegit hiemps. Nunc umbra nudata sua iam tempora maerent,

areaque attritis ridet adulta^ pilis. O fallax natura deum : quae prima dedisti aetati nostrae gaudia, prima rapis." Infelix, modo crinibus nitebas Phoebo pulchrior et sorore Phoebi. At nunc levior acre vel rotundo horti tubere, quod creavit unda, ridentes fugis et times puellas. Ut mortem citius venire credas, scito iam capitis perisse partem." 1 1 Plura volebat proferre, credo, et ineptiora praeteri- tis, cum ancilla Tryphaenae Gitona in partem navis inferiorem ducit corymbioque dominae pueri adornat caput. Immo supercilia etiam profert de pyxide scite- que iacturae lineamenta secuta totam illi formam suam reddidit. Agnovit Tryphaena verum Gitona, lacrimisque turbata tunc primum bona fide puero ^ adulta Buecheler : adusta. 226

SATYRICON

rushes ; they were snared by these limed twigs and brought down into our hands. The breeze caught their feathers as they flew, and the hght foam lashed their wings as they skimmed the sea.

Lichas was just beginning to be friendly with me again, Tr\-phaena was just pouring the dregs of a drink over Giton, Avhen Eumolpus, who was unsteady with drink himself, tried to aim some satire at bald persons and branded criminals, and after exhausting his chilly wit, went back to his poetry and began to declaim a little dirge on Hair:

The hair that is the whole glory of the body is fallen, dull winter has carried away the bright locks of spring. Now the temples are bare of their shade and are downcast, and the wide naked space on my old head shines where the hair is worn away. Ye Gods that love to cheat us; ye rob us first of the first joys ye gave to our youth.

Poor wretch, a moment ago thy hair shone bright and more beautiful than Phoebus and the sister of Phoebus. Now thou art smoother than bronze or the round garden mushroom that is bom in rain, and tumest in dread from a girl's mockery. To teach thee how quickly death shall come, know that a part of thine head hath died already."

He wanted to produce some more hnes even more 110 silly than the last, I believe, when Trj-phaena's majd took Giton below decks, and ornamented the boy's head with some of her mistress's artificial curls. Further, she also took some eyebrows out of a box, and by cun- ningly following the lines where he was defaced she restored his proper beauty complete. Tryphaena re- cognized the true Giton, there was a storm of tears, and she then for the first time gave the boy a kiss q2 227

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

L basium dedit. | Ego etiam si repositum in pristinurn decorem puerum gaudebam^ abscondebam tamen fre- quentius vultum intellegebamque me non tralaticia deformitate esse insignitum, quern alloquio dignum ne Lichas quidem erederet. Sed huic tristitiae eadem ilia succurrit ancilla, sevocatumque me non minus de- coro exornavit capillamento ; immo commendatior vultus enituitj quia flavum^ corymbion erat . . . LO I Ceterum Eumolpos, et periclitantium advocatus et praesentis concordiae auctor, ne sileret sine fabulis hilaritas, multa in muliebrem levitatem coepit iactare : quam facile adamarent, quam cito etiam filiorum obli- viscerentur, nullamque esse feminam tam pudicam, quae non peregrina libidine usque ad furorem averte- retur. Nee se tragoedias veteres curare aut nomina saeculis nota, sed rem sua memoria factam, quam expositurum se esse, si vellemus audire. Conversis igitur omnium in se vultibus auribusque sic orsus est; 111 Matrona quaedam Ephesi tam notae erat pudici-

tiae, ut vicinarum quoque gentium feminas ad specta- culum sui evocaret. Haec ergo cum virum extulisset, non contenta vulgari more funus passis prosequi crini- bus aut nudatum pectus in conspectu frequentiae plangere, in conditorium etiam prosecuta est defun- ctum, positumque in hypogaeo Graeco more corpus custodire ac flere totis noctibus diebusque coepit. Sic afflictantem se ac mortem inedia persequentem non parentes potuerunt abducere, non propinqui; magi- stratus ultimo repulsi abierunt, complorataque singularis ' flavum margin ed. of Tornaesius : flaucorura, 228

SATYRICON

with real affection. Of coursCj I was glad to see him clothed again in his former loveliness, but still I kept hiding my own face continually, for I realized that I was marked with no common ugliness, since not even Lichas considered me fit to speak to. But the same maid came and rescued me from gloom, called me aside, and decked me with equally becoming curls. Indeed, my face shone with a greater glorj'. My curls were golden ! . . .

Then Eumolpus, our spokesman in peril and the begetter of our present peace, to save our jollity from falling dumb for want of good stories, began to hurl many taunts at the fickleness of women; how easily they fell in love, how quickly they forgot even their own sons, how no woman was so chaste that she could not be led away into utter madness by a passion for a stranger. He was not thinking of old tragedies or names notorious in history, but of an affair which happened in his lifetime. He would tell it us if we liked to listen. So all eyes and ears were turned upon him, and he began as follows :

There was a married woman in Ephesus of such 111 famous virtue that she drew women even from the neighbouring states to gaze upon her. So when she had buried her husband, the common fashion of follow- ing the procession with loose hair, and beating the naked breast in front of the crowd, did not satisfy her. She followed the dead man even to his resting-place, and began to watch and weep night and day over the body, which was laid in an underground vault in the Greek fashion. Neither her parents nor her relations could divert her from thus torturing herself, and courting death by starvation ; the officials were at last rebuffed and left her; every one mourned for her as a woman of unique character, and she was now

229

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBl'lEK

exempli femina ab omnibus quintum iam diem sine alimento trahebat. Assidebat aegrae fidissima ancilla, simulque et lacrimas commodabat lugenti, et quotiens- cunque defecerat positum in monumento lumen renovabat. Una igitur in tota civitate fabula erat, solum illud affulsisse verum pudicitiae amorisque ex- emplum omnis ordinis homines confitebantur, cum interim imperator provinciae latrones iussit crucibus affigi secundum illam casulam, in qua recens cadaver matrona deflebat. Proxima ergo nocte, cum miles, qui cruces asservabat, ne quis ad sepulturam corpus detraheret, notasset sibi [et] lumen inter monumenta clarius fulgens et gemitum lugentis audisset, vitio gentis humanae concupiit scire, quis aut quid faceret. Descendit igitur in conditorium, visaque pulcherrima muliere primo quasi quodam monstro infernisque imaginibus turbatus substitit. Deinde ut et corpus iacentis conspexit et lacrimas consideravit faciemque unguibus sectam, ratus scilicet id quod erat, deside- rium extincti non posse feminam pati, attulit in monumentum cenulam suam coepitque hortari lugen- tem, ne perseveraret in dolore supervacuo ac nihil profuturo gemitu pectus diduceret: omnium eundem esse exitum [sed] et idem domicilium, et cetera quibus exulceratae mentes ad sanitatem revocantur. At ilia ignota consolatione percussa laceravit vehementius pectus ruptosque crines super corpus^ iacentis imposuit. Non recessit tamen miles, sed eadem exhortatione temptavit dare mulierculae cibum, donee ancilla vini

' «orpus Nodot : pectus. «SO

SATYRICON

passing her fifth day without food. A devoted maid sat by the failing woman, shed tears in sjTnpathy with her woes, and at the same time filled up the lamp, which was placed in the tomb, whenever it sank. There was but one opinion throughout the city, every class of person admitting this was the one true and brilliant example of chastity and love. At this moment the governor of the province gave orders that some robbers should be crucified near the small building where the lady was bewailing her recent loss. So on the next night, when the soldier who was watching the crosses, to prevent anyone taking down a body for burial, observed a light shining plainly among the tombs, and heard a mourner's groans, a very human weakness made him curious to know who it was and what he was doing. So he went down into the vault, and on seeing a very beautiful woman, at first halted in con- fusion, as if he had seen a portent or some ghost from the world beneath. But afterwards noticing the dead man lying there, and watching the woman's tears and the marks of her nails on her face, he came to the correct conclusion, that she found her regret for the lost one unendurable. He therefore brought his supper into the tomb, and began to urge the mourner not to persist in useless griefj and break her heart with unprofitable sobs: for all men made the same end and found the same resting-place, and so on with the other platitudes which restore wounded spirits to health. But she took no notice of his sympathy, struck and tore her breast more violently than ever, pulled out her hair, and laid it on the dead body. Still the soldier did not retire, but tried to give the poor woman food ■with similar encouragements, until the maid, who was no doubt seduced by the smell of his

231

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER certe ab eo odore corrupta primum ipsa porrexit ad humanitatem invitantis victam manum, deinde refecta potione et cibo expugnare dominae pertinaciam coepit et Quid proderit' inquit hoc tibi, si soluta inedia fueris, si te vivam sepelieris^ si antequam fata poscant, indemnatum spiritum effuderis?

Id cinerem aut manes credis sentire sepultos? Vis tu reviviscere ? Vis discusso muliebri errore, quam diu licuerit, lucis commodis frui? Ipsum te iacentis corpus admonere debet, ut vivas.' Nemo invitus audit, cum cogitur aut cibum sumere aut vivere. Itaque mulier aliquot dierum abstinentia sicca passa est frangi pertinaciam suam, nee minus avide replevit se cibo 112 quam ancilla, quae prior victa est. Ceterum scitis, quid plerumque soleat temptare humanam satietatem. Quibus blanditiis impetraverat miles, ut matrona vel- let vivere, isdem etiam pudicitiam eius aggressus est. Nee defomiis aut infacundus iuvenis castae videbatur, conciliante gratiam ancilla ac subinde dicente : Placitone etiam pugnabis amori?

Necvenit in mentem, quorum consederis arvis?' quid diutius moror? ne banc quidem partem corporis mulier abstinuit, victorque miles utrumque persuasit. lacuerunt ergo una non tantum ilia nocte, qua nuptias fecerunt, sed postero etiam ac tertio die, praeclusis videlicet conditorii foribus, ut quisquis ex notis igno- tisque ad monumentum venisset, putaret expirasse super corpus viri pudicissimam uxorem. Ceterum

232

SATi'RICON

wine, first gave in herself, and put out her hand at his kindly invitation, and then, refreshed v.ith food and drink, began to assail her mistress's obstinacy, and say. What will you gain by all this, if you faint away -with hunger, if you bury yourself alive, if you breathe out your undoomed soul before Fate calls for it ? ' Believest thou that the ashes or the spirit of the buried dead can feel thy woe?^ Will you not begin life afresh? Will you not shake off this womanish failing, and enjoy the blessings of the light so long as you are allowed? Your poor dead husband's body here ought to persuade you to keep alive.' People are always readj' to listen when they are urged to take a meal or to keep alive. So the lad}', being thirsty after several days' abstinence, allowed her resolution to be broken dow^l, and filled herself with food as greedily as the maid, who had been the first to yield.

Well, you know which temptation generally assails 112 a man on a full stomach. The soldier used the same insinuating phrases which had persuaded the lady to consent to live, to conduct an assault upon her virtue. Her modest eye saw in him a young man, handsome and eloquent. The maid begged her to be gracious, and then said. Wilt thou fight love even when love pleases thee ? Or dost thou never remember in whose lands thou art resting ? ' - I need hide the fact no longer. The lady ceased to hold out, and the con- quering hero won her over entire. So they passed not only their wedding night together, but the next and a third, of course shutting the door of the vault, so that any friend or stranger who came to the tomb would imagine that this most ^•irtuous lady had breathed her last over her husband's body. Well, the

See Virgil, Mneid iv, 34. * See Virgil, ^netd iv, 38.

233

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER delectatus miles et forma mulieris et secreto^ quicquid boni per facultates poterat, coemebat et prima statim nocte in monumentum ferebat. Itaque unius cruciarii parentes ut viderunt laxatam custodiam, detraxere nocte pendentem supremoque mandaverunt officio. At miles cii'cumscriptus dum desidet, ut postero die vidit unam sine cadavere crucem, veritus supplicium, muUeri quid accidisset exponit : nee se exspectaturum iudicis sententiam, sed gladio ius dicturum ignaviae suae. Commodaret ergo ilia perituro locum et fatale conditorium familiari ac viro faceret. Mulier non minus misericors quam pudica ne istud' inquit dii sinant, ut eodem tempore duorum mihi carissimorum hominum duo funera spectem. Malo mortuum im- pendere quam vivum occidere.' Secundum hanc orationem iubet ex area corpus mariti sui tolli atque illi, quae vacabat, cruci affigi. Usus est miles ingenio prudentissimae feminae, posteroque die populus mi- ratus est, qua rati one mortuus isset in crucem." 113 Risu excepere fabulam nautae, [et] erubescente non mediocriter Tryphaena vultumque suum super cervi- cem Gitonis amabiliter ponente. At non Lichas risit, sed iratum commovens caput Si iustus" inquit im- perator fuisset, debuit patris familiae corpus in monu- mentum referre, mulierem affigere cruci."

Non dubie redierat in animum Hedyle expilatum- que libidinosa migratione navigium. Sed nee foederis 234

SATi: EICON

soldier was delighted with the woman's beauty, and his stolen pleasure; he bought up all the fine things his means permitted, and carried them to the tomb the moment darkness fell. So the parents of one of the crucified, seeing that the watch was ill- kept, took their man down in the dark and adminis- tered the last rite to him. The soldier was eluded while he was off duty, and next daj', seeing one of the crosses without its corpse, he was in terror of punishment, and explained to the lady what had happened. He declared that he would not wait for a court-martial, but would punish his o\\Ta neglect with a thrust of his sword. So she had better get ready a place for a dying man, and let the gloomy vault enclose both her husband and her lover. The lady's heart was tender as well as pure. Heaven forbid,' she replied, that 1 should look at the same moment on the dead bodies of two men whom I love. No, I would rather make a dead man useful, than send a Uve man to death.' After this speech she ordered her husband's body to be taken out of the coflSn and fixed up on the empty cross. The soldier availed himself of this far-seeing woman's device, and the people wondered the next day by what means the r^ead man had ascended the cross."

The sailors received this tale with a roar ; Try- 113 phaena blushed deeply, and laid her face caressingly on Giton's neck. But there was no laugh from Lichas ; he shook his head angrily and said : If the governor of the province had been a just man, he should have put the dead husband back in the tomb, and hung the woman on the cross."

No doubt he was thinking once more of Hedyle and how his ship had been pillaged on her passionate

235

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

verba permittebant meminisse, nee hilaritas, quae occupaverat mentes^ dabat iracundiae locum. Ceterum Tryphaena in gremio Gitonis posita modo implebat osculis pectus, interdum concinnabat spoliatum crini- bus vultum. I Ego maestus et impatiens foederis novi non cibum, non potionem capiebam, sed obliquis truci- busque oculis utrumque spectabam. Omnia me oscula vubierabant, omnes blanditiae, quascunque mulier libidinosa fingebat. Nee tamen adhuc sciebam, utrum magis puero irascerer, quod amicam mihi auferret, an amicae, quod puerum corrumperet: utraque inimi- cissima oculis meis et captivitate praeterita tristiora. Accedebat hue, quod neque Tryphaena me alloque- batur tanquam familiarem et aliquando gratum sibi amatorem, nee Giton me aut tralaticia propinatione dignum iudicabat, aut quod minimum est, sermone communi vocabat, credo, veritus ne inter initia coeuntis gratiae recentem cicatricem rescinderet. Inundavere pectus lacrimae dolore paratae, gemitusque suspirio tectus animam paene submovit . . .

In partem voluptatis temptabat admitti, nee domini supercilium induebat, sed amici quaerebat obse- quium . . .

"Si quid ingenui sanguinis habes, non pluris illani facies, quam scortum. Si vir fueris, non ibis ad spin- triam"^ . . .

Me nihil magis pungebat,^ quam ne Eumolpus sen- sisset, quicquid illud fuerat, et homo dicacissimus carminibus vindicaret . . .

lurat Eumolpus verbis conceptissimis . . .

^ spintriam margin ed. of Tornaesius : spuicam or spuitam. ' pung^ebat Buecheler : pudebat, 236

SATYRICON

elopement. But the tenns of our treaty forbade us to bear grudges, and the joy which had filled our souls left no room for wTath. Trj'phaena was now lying in Giton's lap, covering him with kisses one moment, and sometimes patting his shaven head. I was gloomy and uneasy about our new terms, and did not touch food or drmk, but kept shooting angry looks askance at them both. Everj' kiss was a wound to me, every pleasing wile that the wanton woman con- jured up. I was not yet sure whether I was more angry with the boy for taking away my mistress, or with my mistress for leading the boy astray : both of them were hateful to my sight and more depressing than the bondage I had escaped. And besides all this, Tryphaena did not address me like a friend whom she was once pleased to have for a lover, and Giton did not think fit to drink mj* health in the ordinary way, and would not even so much as include me in general conversation. I suppose he was afraid of re- opening a tender scar just as friendly feeling began to draw it together. My unhappiness moved me till tears overflowed my heart, and the groan I hid with a sigh almost stole my life away. . .

He tried to gain admission to share their joys, not wearing the proud look of a master, but begging him to yield as a friend. . .

If j-ou have a drop of honest blood in you you >vill think no more of her than of a common woman. Si vir fueris, non ibis ad spintriam" . . .

Nothing troubled me more than the fear that Eumolpus might have got some idea of what was going on, and might employ his powers of speech in attack- ing me in verse. . .

Eumolpus swore an oath in most formal language. . ,

237

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 114 Dum haec taliaque iactamus, inhorruit mare nu- besque undique adductae obruere tenebris diem. Dis- currunt nautae ad officia trepidantes velaque tempe- statisubducunt. Sed nee certosfluctus ventusimpulerat, nee quo destinaret cursum, gubernator sciebat. Sieiliam modo ventus dabat, saepissime [in oram] Italici litoris aquilo possessor convertebat hue illuc obnoxiam ratem, et quod omnibus procellis periculosius erat, tam spissae repente tenebrae lucem suppresserant, ut ne proram quidem totam gubernator videret. Itaque hereules postquam maris ira infesta^ convaluit, Lichas trepidans ad me supinas porrigit manus et tu " inquit Encolpi, succurre perielitantibus et vestem illam divinam si- strumque redde navigio. Per fidem, miserere, quem- admodum quidem soles."

Et ilium quidem vociferantem in mare ventus ex- cussit, repetitumque infesto gurgite procella circumegit atque hausit. Tryphaenam autem prope iam fide- lissimi rapuerunt servi, scaphaeque impositam cum maxima sarcinarum parte abduxere certissimae morti . . .

Applicitus cum clamore flevi et Hoc" inquam a diis meruimus, ut nos sola morte coniungerent ? Sed non crudelis fortuna concedit. Ecce iam ratem fluctus evertet, ecce iam amplexus amantium iratum dividet mare. Igitur, si vere Encolpion dilexisti, da oscula, dum licet, et ultimum hoc gaudium fatis properantibus rape." Haec ut ego dixi, Giton vestem deposuit

' ratem Goldast: partem.

'maris era infesta Buechehr : manifesta.

SATYRICON

While we talked over this matter and others, the 114 sea rose, clouds gathered from every quarter, and overwhelmed the day in darkness. The sailors ran to their p>osts in terror, and furled the sails before the storm. But the Avind did not drive the waves in any one direction, and the helmsman was at a loss which way to steer. One moment the ■x^ind set towards Sicily, very often the north wind blew off the Italian coast, mastered the ship and twisted her in every direction ; and what was more dangerous than any squall, such thick darkness had suddenly blotted out the light that the steersman could not even see the whole prow. Then for a wonder, as the hostile fury of the storm gathered, Lichas trembled and stretched out his hands to me imploringlj-, and said, " Help us in our peril, Encolpius ; let the ship have the goddess's robe again and her holy rattle.^ Be merciful, I implore you, as your way is."

But even as he shouted the vrind blew him into the water, a squall whirled him round and round repeatedly in a fierce whirlpool, and sucked him down. Tryphaena's faithful slaves carried her off almost by force, put her in a boat with most of her luggage, and so rescued her from certain death. . ,

I embraced Giton, and wept and cried aloud : "' Did we deserve this from the gods, that they should unite us only when they slay .* But cruel Fate does not grant us even this. Look I even now the waves will upset the boat ; even now the angry sea will sunder a lover's embrace. So if you ever really loved Encolpius, kiss him while you may, and snatch this last joy as Fate swoops down upon you." As I spoke Giton took

' Sacred emblems of Isis which Encolpius had probably stolen.

S39

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

meaque tunica contectus exeruit ad osculum caput. Et ne sic cohaerentes malignior fluctus distraheret, utrumque zona circumvenienti praecinxit et SI nihil aliudj certe diutius" inquit iunctos nos mare^ feret^ vel si voluerit misericors ad idem litus expellere^ aut praeteriens aliquis tralaticia humanitate lapidabit, aut quod ultimum est iratis etiam fluctibus, imprudens harena componet." Patior ego vinculum extremum, et veluti lecto funebri aptatus exspecto mortem iam non molestam. Peragit interim tempestas mandata fatorum omnesque reliquias navis expugnat, Non arbor erat relicta, non gubernacula, non funis aut remuSj sed quasi rudis atque infecta materies ibat cum fluctibus . . .

Procurrere piscatores parvulis expediti navigiis ad praedam rapiendam. Deinde ut aliquos viderunt, qui suas opes defenderent, mutaverunt crudelitatem in auxilium . . . 115 Audimus murmur insolitum et sub diaeta magistri quasi cupientis exire beluae gemitum. Persecuti igitur sonum invenimus Eumolpum sedentem membranaeque ingenti versus ingerentem. Mirati ergo, quod illi vacaret in vicinia mortis poema facere, extrahimus clamantem iubemusque bonam habere mentem. At ille interpellatus excanduit et 'Sinite me" inquit "sententiam explere; laborat carmen in fine." Inicio ego phrenitico manum iubeoque Gitona accedere et in terram trahere poetam mugientem ...

Hoc opere tandem elaborate casam piscatoriam subimus maerentes, cibisque naufragio corruptis ' iunctos nos mare Faber : iuncta nos mors. 240

SATYRICON

off his clothes, and I covered him with my shirt as he put up his head to be kissed. And that no envious wave should pull us apart as we clung to each other, he put his belt round us both and tied it tight, sajing. Whatever happens to us, at least we shall be locked together a long while as the sea oarries us, and if the sea has pity and will cast us up on the same shore, some one may come by and put stones over us out of ordinary human kindness, or the last work of the waves even in their wrath will be to cover us with the unconscious sand." I let him bind me for the last time, and then waited, like a man dressed for his death-bed, for an end that had lost its bitterness. Meanwhile by Fate's decree the storm rose to its height, and took by violence all that was left of the ship. No mast, no helm, no rope or oar remained on her. She drifted on the waves like a rough and unshapen lump of wood. . . .

Some fishermen in handy little boats put out to seize their prey. \Vlien they saw some men alive and ready to fight for their belongings, they altered their savage plans and came to the rescue. . .

We heard a strange noise, and a groaning like a 115 wild beast, coming from under the master's cabin. So we followed the noise, and found Eumolpus sitting there inscribing verses on a great parchment. We were surprised at his having time to write poetry with death close at hand, and we pulled him out, though he p.rotested, and implored him to be sensible. But he was farious at our interruption, and cried: "Let me complete my design; the poem halts at the close." I laid hanxds on the maniac, and told Giton to help me to drag the bellowing bard ashore. . .

When this business was at last completed, we came sadly to a fisherman's cottage, refreshed our- R 241

riTUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

utcunque curati tristissimam exegimus noctem. Po- stero die, cum poneremus consilium, cui nos regioni crederemuSj repente video corpus humanum circum- actum levi vertice ad litus deferri. Substiti ergo tristis coepique umentibus^ oculis maris fidem inspicere et Hunc forsitan" proclamo in aliqua parte terrarum secura exspectat uxor, forsitan ignarus tempestatis filius aut pater ;^ utique reliquit aliquem, cui pro- ficiscens osculum dedit. Haec sunt consilia mortalium, haec vota magnarum cogitationum. En homo quem- admodum natat." Adhuc tanquam ignotum defle- bam, cum inviolatum os fluctus convertit in terram, agnovique terribilem paulo ante et implacab.lem Li- cham pedibus meis paene subiectum. IS on tenui igitur diutius lacrimas, immo percussi semel iterumque manibus pectus et "Ubi nunc est" inquam iracundia tua, ubi impotentia tua? nempe piscibus beluisque expositus es, et qui paulo ante iactabas vires imperii tui, de tam magna nave ne tabulam quidem naufragus habes. Ite nunc mortales, et magnis cogitationibus pectora implete. Ite cauti, et opes fraudibus captas per mille annos disponite. Nempe hie proxima luce patrimonii sui rationes inspexit, nempe diem etiam, quo venturus esset in patriam, animo suo fixit.^ Dii deaeque, quam longe a destinatione sua iacet. Sed non sola rcortalibus maria hanc fidem praestant. Ilium bellantem arma decipiunt, ilium diis vota reddentem penatium suorum ruina sepelit. Ille vehiculo lapsus properantem spirituni excussit, cibus avidum strangu-

'umentibus margin ed. o/Tornaesius: viventibus. ' pater Buecheler : patrem.

fixit Oeveringius : finxit.

242

SATYRICON

selves more or less with food spoilt by sea-water, and passed a very miserable night. Next morning, as we were trying to decide into what part of the country we should venture, I suddenly saw a man's body caught in a gentle eddy and carried ashore. I stopped gloom- ily, and, with moist eyes, began to reflect upon the treachery of the sea. Maybe," I cried, there is a wife waiting cheerfully at home for this man in a far-off land, or a son or a father, maybe, who know nothing of this storm ; he is sure to have left some one behind whom he kissed before he went. So much for mortal men's plans, and the prayers of high ambition. Look how the man floats." I was still crying over him as a per- fect stranger, when a wave turned his face towards the shore ^v•ithout a mark upon it, and I recognized Lichas, but a while ago so fierce and so relentless, now thrown almost under my feet. Then I could restrain my tears no longer ; I beat my breast again and again, and cried. Where is your temper and j'our hot head now? Behold! you are a prey for fish and savage beasts. An hour ago you boasted the strength of your command, and you have not one plank of your great ship to save you. Now let mortal men fill their hearts with proud imaginations if thej' will. Let misers lay out the gains they win by fraud for a thousand years. Lo ! this man but yesterday looked into the accounts of his family property, and even settled in his ovm mind the verj' day when he would come home again. Lord, Lord, how far he lies from his consumma- tion ! But it is not the waves of the sea alone that thus keep faith \\'ith mortal meri. The warrior's weapons fail him ; another pays his vows to Heaven, and his own house falls and buries him in the act. Another slips from his coach and dashes out his eager soul : the glutton «2 24.3

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER lavft, abstinentem frugalitas. Si bene calculum ponas, ubique naufragium est. At enim fluctibus obruto non contingit sepultura. Tanquam intersit, periturum corpus quae ratio consumat, ignis an fluetus an mora. Quicquid feceris^ omnia haec eodem ventura sunt. Ferae tamen corpus lacerabunt. Tanquam melius ignis accipiat; immo banc poenam gravissimam credimus, ubi servis irascimur. Quae ergo dementia est, omnia facere, ne quid de nobis relinquat sepultura?" . . .

Et Licham quidem rogus inimicis collatus manibus adolebat. Eumolpus autem dum epigrauima mortuo facit, oculos ad arcessendos sensus longius mittit . . . 116 Hoc peracto libenter officio destinatum carpimus iter ac momento temporis in montem sudantes con scendimus, ex quo baud procul impositum arce sub- limi oppidum cernimus. Nee quod esset, sciebamus errantes, donee a vilico quodam Crotona esse cognovi- mus,urbem antiquissimam et aliquando Italiae primam. Cum deinde diligentius exploraremus, qui homines inhabitarent nobile solum, quodve genus negotiationis praecipue probarent post attritas bellis frequentibus opes, "O mi" inquit ' hospites, si negotiatores estis, mutate propositum aliudque vitae praesidium quaerite. Sin autem urbanioris notae homines sustinetis semper mentiri, recta ad lucrum curritis. In iiac enim urbe non litterarum studia celebrantur, non eloquentia locum habet, non frugalitas sanctlque mores laudibus ad fVuctum perveniunt, sed quoscunque homines in 244

SATYRICON

chokes at dinner, the sparing man dies of want. Make a fair reckoning, and you find shipwreck evervvvhere. You tell me that for those the waters whelm there is no burial. As if it mattered how our perishable flesh comes to its end, by fire or water or the lapse of time I What- ever you may do, all these things achieve the same goal. But beasts ^^^ll tear the body, you say, as though fire would give it a more kindly welcome 1 WTien we are angry vdih our slaves, we consider burning their heaviest punishment. Then what madness to take such trouble to prevent the grave from leaving aught of us behind I" . . .

So Lichas was burned on a pyre built by his enemy's hands. Emnolpus proceeded to compose an epitaph on the dead man, and looked about in search of some far-fetched ideas. . .

We gladly performed this last office, and then took 1 1 6 up our proposed way, and in a short while came sweating to a mountain top, from which we saw, not far off, a town set on a high peak. We had lost ourselves, and did not know what it was, until we learned from a farm-bailiff that it was Croton, a town of great age, and once the first city in Italy. Wlien we went on to inquire particularly what men lived on such honoured soil, and what kind of business pleased them best, now that their wealth had been brought low by so many wars, the man replied. My friends, if you are business men, change j'our plans and look for some other safe way of life. But if you profess to be men of a superior stamp and thorough-paced liars, you are on the direct road to wealth. In this city the pursuit of learning is not esteemed, elo- quence has no place, economy and a pure life do not win their reward in honour : know that the whole of

245

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

hac urbe videritis, scitote in duas partes esse divisos. Nam aut captantur aut captant. In hac urbe nemo liberos tollit, quia quisquis suos heredes habet, non ad cenas/ non ad speetacula admittitur, sed omnibus pro- hibetur commodis, inter ignominiosos latitat. Qui vero nee uxores unquam duxerunt nee proximas necessitu- dines habent, ad summos honores perveniunt, id est soli militares, soli fortissimi atque etiam innocentes habentur. Adibitis" inquit oppidum tanquam in pestilentia campos, in quibus nihil aliud est nisi cada- vera^ quae lacerantur^ aut corvi, qui lacerant" . . . 1 1 7 prudentior Eumolpus convertit ad novitatem rei mentem genusque divinationis sibi non displicere con- fessus est. locari ego senem poetica levitate credebam, cum ille ' Utinam quidem sufficeret largior scaena, id est vestis humanior, instrumentum lautius, quod prae- beret mendacio fidem : non mehercules penam istam differrem, sed continue vos ad magnas opes ducerem. Atquin promitto, quicquid exigeret, dummodo placeret vestis, rapinae comes, et quicquid Lycurgi villa gras- santibus praebuisset. Nam nummos in praesentem usum deum matrem pro fide sua reddituram" . . .

"Quid ergo" inquit Eumolpus cessamus mimum componere? Facite ergo me dominum, si negotiatio placet." Nemo ausus est artem damnare nihil aufe- rentem. Itaq \e ut duraret inter omnes tutum men- dacium, in verba Eumolpi sacramentum iuravimus: uri, vinciri, verberari ferroque necari, et quicquid aliud Eumolpus iussisset. Tanquam legitimi gladia- ' cenas Bongarsius : scenas. 246

SATYRICON

the men you see in this city are divided into two classes. They are either the prey of legacy-hunting or legacy-hunters themselves. In this city no one brings up children, because anj'one who has heirs of his own stock is never inWted to dinner or the theatre ; he is deprived of all advantages, and lies in obscurity among the base-bom. But those who have never married, and have no near relations, reach the highest positions; they alone, that is, are considered soldierly, gallant, or even good. Yes," he went on, you will go into a town that is like a plague-stricken plain, where there is nothing but carcasses to be devoured, and crows to devour them." . . .

Eumolpus was more cautious, and directed his 1 1 7 attention to the novelty of the case, declaring that this kind of prophecy did not make hun uneasy. I thought the old man was joking -with the light heart of a poet, but then he said, I only wish I had a more ample background, I mean a more gentlemanly dress, and finer ornaments, to lend colour to my strange tale ; I declare I would not put off the business, I would bring you into great wealth in a moment. Anyhow, I promise to do whatever my fellow-robber demands, so long as my clothes are satisfactory-, and whatever we may find in Lycurgus's house when we break in. I am sure that our mother goddess for her honour's sake will pay up some coin to us for present needs." . . . "Well then," said Eumolpus, "Why shouldn't we make up a farce ? Now appoint me your master, if you like the business." No one dared to grumble at this harmless device. So to keep the lie safe among us all, we took an oath to obey Eumolpus; to endure burning, bondage, flogging, death by the sword, or anything else that Eumolpus ordered. We

247

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER tores domino corpora animasque religiosissime addici- mus. Post peractum sacramentum serviliter ficti dominum consalutamus, elatumque ab Eumolpo filium pariter condiscimus, iuvenem ingentis eloquentiae et spei, ideoque de civitate sua miserrimum senem exisse, lie aut clientes sodalesque filii sui aut sepulcrum quotidie causam lacrimarum cerneret. Accessisse huic tristitiae proximum naufragium, quo amplius vicies sestertium amiserit; nee ilium iactura moveri, sed destitutum ministerio non agnoscere dignitatem suam. Praeterea habere in Africa trecenties sester- tium fundis nominibusque depositum; nam familiam quidem tam magnam per agros Numidiae esse sparsam, ut possit vel Cartliaginem capere. Secundum hanc formulam imperamus Eumolpo, ut plurimum tussiat, ut sit modo solutions stomachi cibosque omnes palam damnet; loquatur aurum et argentum fundosque mendaces et perpetuam terrarum sterilitatem ; sedeat praeterea quotidie ad rationes tabulasque testamenti onmibus mensihus renovet. Et ne quid scaenae deesset, quotiescunque aliquem nostrum vocare temptasset, alium pro alio vocaret^ ut facile appareret dominum etiam eorum meminisse, qui praesentes non essent.

His ita ordinatis, "quod bene feliciterque eveniret" precati deos viam ingredimur. Sed neque Giton sub insolito fasce durabat, et mercennarius Corax, detrecta- tor ministerii, posita frequentius sarcina male dicebat properantibus affirmabatque se aut proiecturum sarcinas aut cum onere fugiturum. ' Quid vos" inquit iumen- 248

SATYRICON

pledged our bodies and souls to our master most solenmly, like regular gladiators. When the oath was over, we posed like slaves and saluted our master, and learned all together that Eumolpus had lost a son, a young man of great eloquence and promise, and that the poor old man had left his o-wti country for this reason, to escape seeing his son's dependants and friends, or the tomb which was the source of his daily tears. His grief had been increased by a recent shipwreck, in which he lost over two million sesterces: it was not the loss that troubled him, but with no servant to wait upon him he could not re- cognize his o-v^Ti importance. Besides, he had thirty millions invested in Africa in estates and bonds; such a horde of his slaves was scattered over the fields of Numidia that he could positively have sacked Carthage. Under this scheme we ordered Eumolpus to cough frequently, sometimes to be bihous, and to find fault openly with all his food ; he must talk of gold and silver and his disappointing farms and the obstinate barrenness of the sod ; further, he must sit over his accounts daily, and revise the sheets of his will every month. To make the setting quite complete, he was to use the wTong names whenever he tried to call one of us, so that it would clearly look as though our master had also in his mind some servants who were not present. This was all arranged; we offered a prayer to Heaven for a prosperous and happy issue, and started on our journey. But Giton was not used to a burden and could not bear it, and the slave Corax, a shirker of work, kept putting down his bundle and cursing our hurry, and df^claring that he would either throw the baggage away or run off with his load. ' You seem to think I am a beast of burden or

249

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

turn me putatis esse aut lapidariam ;navem? Ho-

minis operas locavi, non caballi. Nee minus liber sum

quam vos, etiam si pauperem pater me reliquit."

Nee contentus maledictis tollebat subinde altius

pedem et strepitu obsceno simul atque odore viam

implebat. Ridebat contumaciam Giton et singulos

crepitus eius pari clamore prosequebatur . . .

I18L0| Multos [inquit Eumolpos, o] iuvenes carmen

decepit. Nam ut quisque versum pedibus instruxit

sensumque teneriorem verborum ambitu intexuit,

putavit se continuo in Heliconem venisse. Sic forensi-

bus ministeriis exercitati frequenter ad carminis tran-

quiUitatem tanquam ad portum feliciorem ^ refugerunt,

credentes facilius poema exstrui posse, quam contro-

versiam sententiolis abrantibus pictam. Ceterum

neque generosior spiritus vanitatem^ amat, neque con-

cipere^ aut edere partum mens potest nisi ingenti

flumine litterarum inundata. Refugiendum est ab omni

verborum, ut ita dicam, vilitate et sumendae voces a

plebe semotae/ ut fiat odi profanum valgus et arceo.'

Praeterea curandum est, ne sententiae emineant extra

corpus orationis expressae, sed intexto vestibus colore

niteant. Homerus testis et lyrici Romanusque Ver-

gilius et Horatii curiosa felicitas. Ceteri enim aut

non viderunt viam, qua iretur ad carmen, aut visam

timuerunt calcare. Ecce belli civilis ingens opus

^ feliciorem cod. Messaniensis : faciliorem other MSS. ^vanitatem cod. Messaniensis: sanitatem other MSS.

concipere cod. Bernensis : conspicere L: conspici O.
semotae Buecheler : summotae.
visam i^ai^r; versum.

350

SATYRICON

a ship for carrying stones," he cried. You paid for the services of a man, not a horse. I am just as free as j'ou are, although m}" father did leave me a |)oor man." Not satisfied with curses, he kept lifting his leg up and filling the whole road with a disgusting noise and smell. Giton laughed at his impudence and matched every noise he made. . . .

Yes, my young friends," said Eumolpus, poetry 118 has led many astray. As soon as a man has shaped his verse in feet and woven into it a more delicate meaning -with an ingenious circumlocution, he thinks that forthwith he has scaled Helicon. In this fashion people who are tired out "with forensic oratory often take refuge in the calm of poetry as in some happier haven, supposing that a poem is easier to construct than a declamation adorned with quivering epigrams. But nobler souls do not love such coxcombry, and the mind cannot conceive or bring forth its fruit unless it is steeped in the vast flood of literature. One must flee away from all diction that is, so to speak, cheap, and choose words divorced from popular use, putting into practice, I hate the common herd and hold it afar." ^ Besides, one must take care that the epigrams do not stand out from the body of the speech : they must shine with a brilliancy that is woven into the material. Homer proves this, and the lyric poets, and Roman Virgil, and the studied felicity of Horace. The others either did not see the path that leads to poetry, or saw it and were afraid to walk in it For instance, anyone who attemps the vast theme of the Civil War ^ will sink under the burden

' Horace, Odes iii, i.

' The theme of the Pharsalia of Lucan, against whom Eumolpus's criticisms seem to be directed.

251

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

quisquis attigerit, nisi plenus litteris, sub onere labetur. Non enim res gestae versibus comprehen- dendae sunt, quod longe melius historici faeiunt, sed per ambages deorumque ministeria et fabulosum sententiarum tormentum praecipitandus est liber spiritus, ut potius furentis animi vaticinatio appareat quam religiosae orationis sub testibus fides : tanquam si placet hie impetus, etiam si nondum recepit ultimam manum" . . . 119 Orbem iam totum victor Romanus habebat,

qua mare, qua terrae, qua sidus currit utrumque. Nee satiatus erat. Gravidis freta pulsa carinis iam peragebaiitur ; si quis sinus abditus ultra, si qua foret tellus, quae fulvum mitteret aurum, hostis erat, fatisque in tristia bella paratis quaerebantur opes. Non vulgo nota placebant gaudia, non usu plebeio trita voluptas. Aes Ephyreiacum^ laudabat miles in unda; quaesitus tellure nitor certaverat ostro; 10

hinc Numidae accusant,^ illinc nova vellera Seres, atque Arabum populus sua despoliaverat arva. Ecce aliae clades et laesae vulnera pacis. Quaeritur in silvis auro fera, et ultimus Hammon Afrorum excutitur, ne desit belua dente ad mortes pretiosa ; fames premit advena classes, tigris et aurata gradiens vectatur in aula, ut bibat humanum populo plaudente cruorem. Heu, pudet effari perituraque prodere fata, Persarum ritu male pubescentibus annis 20

Aes Ephyreiacum Heinsius: aes epyrecum and the like

most MSS.: spolia Turn (cum Dr) Senius codd. Monacensis et Dresdensis.

'•'accusant L: accusatius O.

252

SATYRICON

unless he is full of literature. It is not a question of recording real events in verse; historians can do that far better. The free spirit of genius must plunge headlong into allusions and divine interpositions, and rack itself for epigrams coloured by mythology, so that what results seems rather the prophecies of an inspired seer than the exactitude of a statement made on oath before witnesses: the following effusion will show what I mean, if it take your fancy, though it has not yet received my final touches. . . .

The conquering Roman now held the whole world, 119 sea and land and the course of sun and moon. But he was not satisfied. Now the waters were stirred and troubled by his loaded ships; if there were any hidden bay beyond, or any land that promised a yield of yellow gold, that place was Rome's enemy, fate stood ready for the sorrows of war, and the quest for wealth went on. There was no happiness in familiar joys, or in pleasures dulled by the common man's use. The soldier out at sea would praise the bronze of Corinth ; bright colours dug from earth rivalled the purple ; here the African curses Rome, here the Chinaman plunders his marvellous silks, and the Arabian hordes have stripped their own fields bare.

' Yet again more destruction, and peace hurt and bleeding. The wild beast is searched out in the woods at a great price, and men trouble Hammon deep in Africa to supply the beast whose teeth make him precious for slaying men ; strange ravening crea- tures freight the fleets, and the padding tiger is wheeled in a gilded palace to drink the blood of men while the crowd applauds.

I shrink from speaking plain and betraying our destiny of ruin ; boys whose childhood is hardly begun

253

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER «urripuere viros exsectaque viscera ferro in venerem fregere, atque ut fuga nobilis aevi circumscripta mora properantes difFerat annos, quaerit se natura nee invenit. Omnibus ergo scorta placent fractique enervi corpora gressus et laxi crines et tot nova nomina vestis, quaeque virum quaerunt. Ecce Afris eruta terris citrea mensa greges servorum ostrumque renidens, ponitur ac maculis imitatur vilius aurum quae sensum trahat. Hoc sterile ac male nobile lignum turba sepulta mero circum venitj omniaque orbis 31 praemia corruptis^ miles vagus esurit armis. Ingeniosa gula est. Siculo scarus aequore mersus ad mensam vivus perducitur, atque Lucrinis eruta litoribus vendunt conchylia cenas, ut renovent per damna famem. lam Phasidos unda orbata est avibus, mutoque in litore tantum solae desertis adspirant frondibus aurae. Nee minor in campo furor est^ emptique Quirites ad praedam strepitumque lucri suffragia vertunt. 40 Venalis populus, venalis curia patrum, est favor in pretio. Senibus quoque libera ^'irtus exciderat, sparsisque opibus conversa potestas ipsaque maiestas auro corrupta iacebat. Pellitur a populo victus Cato ; tristior ille est,

'vilius Gronotius : vilibus. For imitatur some MSS. grive mutatur.

^ corrupiis Buechekr : correptis.

254

SATYRICON

are kidnapped in the Persian way, and the powers the knife has shorn are forced to the service of lust, and in order that the passing of man's finest age may be hedged round with delay and hold back the hurrying years, Nature seeks for herself, and finds herself not. So all take their pleasure in harlotry, and the halting steps of a feeble body, and in flo^v-ing hair and num- berless clothes of new names, everything that ensnares mankind.

"Tables of citron- wood are dug out of the soil of Africa and set up, the spots on them resembling gold which is cheaper than they, their polish reflecting hordes of slaves and purple clothes, to lure the senses. Round this barren and low-born wood there gathers a crowd drowned in drink, and the soldier of fortune gorges the whole spoils of the world while his weapons rust.

' Gluttony is a fine art. The wrasse is brought alive

to table in sea-water from Sicily, and the oysters torn from the banks of the Lucrine lake make a dinner famous, in order to renew men's hunger by their extravagance. All the birds are now gone from the waters of Phasis ; the shore is quiet ; only the empty air breathes on the lonely boughs.

The same madness is in pubUc life, the true-bom Roman is bought, and changes his vote for plunder and the crj' of gain. The people are corrupt, the house of senators is corrupt, their support hangs on a price. The freedom and virtue of the old men had decayed, their power was swaj'ed by largesse, even their dignity was stained by money and trodden in the dust. Cato is beaten and driven out by the mob; his conqueror is more imhappy than he, and is ashamed to have torn the rods of office from Cato. For the

255

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER qui vicit, fascesque pudet rapuisse Catoni. Namque — hoc dedecoris populo morumque niina — non homo pulsus erat^ sed in uno victa potestas Romanumque decus. Quare tam perdita Roma ipsa sui merces erat et sine vindice praeda. 50

Praeterea gemino deprensam gurgite plebem faenoris illuvies ususque exederat aeris. Nulla est certa domus^ nullum sine pignore corpus, sed veluti tabes tacitis concepta medullis intra membra furens curis latrantibus errat. Anna placent miseris, detritaque comimoda luxu vulneribus reparantur. Inops audacia tuta est. Hoc mersam caeno Romam somnoque iacentem quae poterant artes saiia ratione movere, ni furor et bellum ferroque excita^ libido? 60

120 Tres tulerat Fortuna duces, quos obruit omnes armorum strue diversa feralis Enyo. Crassum Parthus habet, Libyco iacet aequore Magnus, lulius ingratam perfudit sanguine Romam, et quasi non posset tot tellus ferre sepulcra, divisit cineres. Hos gloria reddit honores. Est locus exciso penitus demersus hiatu Parthenopen inter magnaeque Dicarchidos arva, Cocyti perfusus aqua ; nam spiritus, extra qui furit effusus, funesto spargitur aestu. 70

Non haec autumno tellus viret aut alit herbas

' plebem Crusius : praedatn.

excitarc»J. Messaniensis : excisa.

256

SATY EICON

shame of the nation and the fall of their character lay in this, that here was not only one man's defeat. In his person the power and glory of Rome was humbled. So Rome in her deep disgrace was herself both price and prize, and despoiled herself without an avenger. Moreover filthy usurj- and the handling of money had caught the common people in a double whirlpool, and destroyed them. Not a house is safe, not a man but is mortgaged; the madness spreads through their limbs, and trouble bays and hounds them down like some disease so^vn in the dumb flesh. In despair they turn to violence, and bloodshed restores the good things lost by luxury. A beggar can risk everything in safety. Could the spell of healthful reason stir Rome from the filth where she rolled in heavy sleep, or only madness and war and the lust wakened by the sword ?

Fortune brought forth three generals, and the god- 120 dess of War and Death buried them all, each beneath a pile of arms. The Parthian has Crassus in keeping,* Pompey the Great lies by the Libyan water,^ Julius stained ungrateful Rome wth his blood ; and as though the earth could not endure the burden of so many graves, she has separated their ashes. These are the wages paid by fame.

Between Parthenope and the fields of the great town of Dicarchis there lies a spot^ plunged deep in a cloven chasm, wet with the water of Cocytus: for the air that rushes furiously outward is laden with

' M. Licinius Crassus was defeated and killed by the Parthians at Carrhae, 53 B.C.

' C. Pompeius Magnus was killed on the shore at Pclusium in Egfypt after his defeat at Pharsalus, 48 B.C.

' The Phlegfraean Plain, between Naples and Puteoli, The latter town is here called Dicarchis after its founder Dicae- archus.

8 t57

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER caespite laetus ager, non vemo persona cantu mollia discordi strepitu virgulta locuntur, sed chaos et nigro squalentia pumice saxa gaudent ferali circum tumulata cupressu. Has inter sedes Ditis pater extulit ora bustorum flammis et cana sparsa fa\illa, ac tali volucrem Fortunam voce lacessit: Rerum humanarum divinarumque potestas, Fors, cui nulla placet nimium secura potestas, 80

quae nova semper amas et mox possessa relinquis, ecquid Romano sentis te pondere victam, nee posse ulterius perituram extollere molem? Ipsa suas vires odit Romana iuventus et quas struxit opes, male sustinet. Aspice late luxuriam spoliorum et censum in damna furentem. Aedificant auro sedesque ad sidera mittunt, expelluntur aquae saxis, mare nascitur arvis, et permutata rerum statione rebellant. En etiam mea regna petunt. Perfossa dehiscit 90 molibus insanis tellus, iam montibus haustis antra gemunt, et dum vanos^ lapis invenit usus, infemi manes caelum sperare fatentur. Quare age, Fors, muta pacatum in proelia vultum Romanosque cie ac nostris da funera regnis. Iam pridem nullo perfundimus ora cruore, nee mea Tisiphone sitientis perluit artus,

^ vanos Delbenius: vanus O: varies Z. 358

SATYRICON

that baleful spray. The ground here is never green in autumn, the field does not prosper or nurture her- bage on its turf, the soft thickets never ring nor are loud in springtime with the songs of rival birds, but chaos is there, and gloomj- rocks of black pumice-stone lie happy in the gloom of the cypresses that moimd them about. From this place the father of Dis lifted his head, lit -with funeral flames and flecked with white ashes, and provoked -winged Fortune with these words :

Disposer of life in earth and heaven. Chance, al- ways angry against power too firmly seated, everlasting lover of change and quick forsaker of thy conquests, dost not thou feel thy spirit crushed under the weight of Rome, and that thou canst not further raise up the mass that is doomed to fall ? The youth of Rome contemns its own strength, and groans under the wealth its o\vn hands have heaped up. See, every- where they squander their spoils, and the mad use of wealth brings their destruction. They have buildings of gold and thrones raised to the stars, they drive out the waters with their piers, the sea springs forth amid the fields: rebellious man turns creation's order upside do^^'n. Aye, they grasp even at my kingdom. The earth is hewn through for their madmen's foundations and gapes wide, now the mountains are hollowed out until the caves groan, and while men turn precious stones to their empty purposes, the ghosts of hell declare their hopes of winning heaven. Arise, then. Chance, change thy looks of peace to war, harry the Roman, and let my kingdom have the dead. It is long now since my lips were wet with blood, and never has my loved Tisiphone bathed her thirsty limbs since the sword

s2 259

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER ex quo SuUanus bibit ensis et horrida tellus extulit in lucem nutritas sanguine fruges.' 121 Haec ubi dicta dedit, dextrae coniungere dextram conatus rupto tellurem solvit hiatu. 101

Tunc Fortuna levi defudit pectore voces : O genitor, cui Cocyti penetralia parent, si modo vera mihi fas est impune profari, vota tibi cedent; nee enim minor ira rebellat pectore in hoc leviorque exurit flamma medullas. Omnia, quae tribui Romanis arcibus, odi muneribusque meis irascor. Destruet istas idem, qui posuit, moles deus. Et mihi cordi quippe cremare viros et sanguine pascere luxum. 110 Cerno equidem gemina iam stratos morte Philippos Thessaliaeque rogos et funera gentis Hiberae. Iam fragor armorum trepidantes personat aures. Et Libyae cerno tua, Nile, gementia claustra Actiacosque sinus et Apollinis arma timentes. Pande, age, terrarum sitientia regna tuanim atque animas accerse novas. Vix navita Porthmeus sufficiet simulacra virum traducere cumba; 260

SATYRICON

of Sulla ' drank deep, and the earth stood thick with eom fattened on blood and thrust up to the sun.'

He spoke and ended, and strained to take her hand 1 2 1 in his, till he broke and clove the earth asunder. Then Fortime ix)ured forth words from her fickle heart: Father, whom the inmost places of Cocytus obey, thy prayer shall prosper, if at least I may foretell the truth -without fear; for the anger that rises in my heart is stem as thine, and the flame that bums deep in my bones as fierce. I hate all the gifts I have made to towering Rome, and am angry at my own blessings. The god that raised up those high palaces shall destroy them too. It will be my delight also to burn the men and feed my lust with blood. Lo, already I see Philippi's field strewn ^vith the dead of two battles,' and the blazing pyres of Thessaly ^ and the burial of the people of Iberia.* Already the crash of arms rings in my trembling ears. And in Libya I see the barriers of the Nile ^ groan, and the people in terror at the gulf of Actium and the army loved by Apollo.^ Open, then, the thirsty realms of thy dominion, and summon fresh souls. The old sailor, the Ferryman, will scarcely have strength to carry over the ghosts of the men in his

^ The massacre of the supporters of Marius in 82 B.C., Sulla being Dictator.

In the battles of Pharsalus, 48 B.C., the final defeat of

Pompey, and Philippi, 42 B.C., the defeat of the Republican army under Brutus and Cassius.

'Again referring to Pharsalus, which is in Thessaly.

Killed in Caesar's Spanish campaigns against the Pom-

peians, 49 and 45 B.C.

' The reference is to Caesar's Egyptian campaigns.

The Emperor Augustus ascribed his victory over Antonj

and Cleopatra at Actium in 31 B.C. to the favour of Apollo.

26]

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

classe opus est. Tuque ingenti satiare ruina, pallida Tisiphone, concisaque vulnera mande : 1 20 ad Stygios manes laceratus ducitur orbis.' 122 Vixdum finierat, cum fulgure rupta corusco intremuit nubes elisosque abscidit ignes. Subsedit pater umbrarum, gremioque reducto telluris pavitans fratemos palluit ictus. Continuo elades hominum venturaque damna auspiciis patuere deum. Namque ore cruento deformis Titan ^ vultum caligine texit : civiles acies iam turn spectare^ putares. Parte alia plenos exstinxit Cj'nthia vultus 130

et lucem sceleri subduxit. Rupta tonabant verticibus lapsis mentis iuga, nee vaga passim flumina per notas ibant morientia ripas. Armorum strepitu caelum furit et tuba Martem sideribus tremefacta ciet, iamque Aetna voratur ignibus insolitis et in aethera fulmina mittit. Ecce inter tumulos atque ossa carentia bustis umbrarum facies diro stridore minantur. Fax stellis comitata novis incendia ducit, sanguineoque recens descendit luppiter imbre. 1 40 Haec ostenta brevi solvit deus. Exuit omnes quippe moras Caesar, vindictaeque actus amore Gallica proiecit, civilia sustulit arma.

Alpibus aeriis, ubi Graio numine^ pulsae descendunt rupes et se patiuntur adiri,

^ Titan Delbenius : titubaiis.

spectare Crusius: spirare (spitare Bernensis).

' numine Reiske : nomine.

«62

SATYRICON

boat; a whole fleet is needed. And thou, pale Tisi- phone, take thy fill of wide destruction, and tear the bleeding wounds; the whole world is rent in pieces and drawn down to the Stygian shades.'

She had scarcely ceased to speak when a cloud 122 shook and was riven by a gleam of lightning, and flashed forth a moment's burst of flame. The father of dark- ness sank down, closed the chasm in earth's bosom, and grew white with terror at the stroke of his brother. Straightway the slaughter of men and the destruction to come were made plain by omens from on high. For Titan was disfigured and dabbled in blood, and veiled his face in darkness: thou hadst thought that even then he gazed on civil strife. In another quarter Cynthia darkened her full face, and denied her light to the crime. The mountain-tops slid down and the peaks broke in thunder, the wandering streams were dying, and no more ranged abroad between their famiUar banks. The sky is loud with the clash of arms, the trumpet shakes to the stars and rouses the War God, and at once Aetna is the prey of unac- customed fires, and casts her lightnings high into the air. The faces of the dead are seen \isible among the tombs and the unburied bones, gibbering in dreadful menace. A blazing light girt with unknown stars leads the way for the flames of cities, and the sky rains down fresh showers of blood. In a little while God made these portents plain. For now Caesar shook off all his lingering, and, spurred by the passion of revenge, threw down his arms against Gaul and took them up against Rome.

In the high Alps, where the rocks trodden by a Greek god^ slope downward and allow men to ap-

Hercules was said to have been the first to cross the Alps.

263

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

est locus Herculeis aris sacer : hunc nive dura claudit hiemps canoque ad sidera vertice tollit. caelum illinc cecidisse putes : non solis adulti^ mansuescit radiis, non verni temporis aura, sed glacie concreta rigent hiemisque pruinis: 150

totum ferre potest umeris minitantibus orbem. Haec ubi calcavit Caesar iuga milite laeto optavitque^ locum, summo de vertice montis Hesperiae campos late prospexit et ambas intentans cum voce manus ad sidera dixit :

luppiter omnipotens, et te,^ Saturnia tellus,

armis laeta meis olimque onerata triumphis, tester, ad has acies invitum accersere Martem, LO invitas me ferre manus. Sed vulnere cogor,

pulsus ab urbe mea, dum Rhenum sanguine tinguo,

dum Gallos iterum Capitolia nostra petentes l6l

Alpibus excludo, vincendo certior exsul.

Sanguine Germano sexagintaque triumphis

esse nocens coepi. Quanquam quos gloria terret,

aut qui sunt qui bella vident? Mercedibus emptae

ac viles operae, quorum est mea Roma noverca.

At* reor, haud impune, nee hanc sine vindice dextram

vinciet ignavus. Victores ite furentes,

ite mei comites, et causam dicite ferro.

Namque omnes unum crimen vocat, omnibus una 1 70

impendet clades. Reddenda est gratia vobis,

non solus vici. Quare, quia poena tropaeis

imminet et sordes meruit victoria nostra,

adulti cod. Messaniensis : adusti other MSS.

^optavit margin of L: oravit.

te Buecheler: tii L: eu O.

at Heinsius : ut.

S64

SATYRICON

proach them, there is a place sacred to the altars of Hercules : the \\'inter seals it with frozen snow, and heaves it up on its white top to the sky. It seems as though the sky had fallen awa}- from there : the beams of the full sun do not soften the place, nor the breezes of the springtime, but the soil stands stiff with ice and winter's frost: its frowning shoulders could support the whole globe. When Caesar ^^^th his exultant army trod these heights and chose a place, he looked far over the fields of Hesperia from the high mountain- top, and hfted his voice and both hands to the stars and said : Jupiter, Lord of all, and thou land ot Saturn, once proud of my \ictories and loaded with my triumphs, I call you to Aptness that I do not willingly summon the War God to these hosts, and that my hand is not raised willingly to strike. But I am driven on by wounds, by banishment from my own city, while I dye the Rhine with blood and cut off the Gauls from the Alps on their second march to our Capitol.^ Victory makes my exile doubly sure. My rout of the Germans and my sixty triumphs were the beginning of my offences. Yet who is it that fears my fame, who are the men that watch me fight? Base hirelings bought at a price, to whom my native Rome is a stepmother. But I think that no coward shall bind my strong arm unhurt ^nthout a blow in return. Come, men, to victory while anger is hot, come, my comrades, and plead our cause with the sword. For we are all summoned under one charge, and the same doom hangs over us all. My thanks are your due, my victory is not mine alone. Wherefore, since punish- ment threatens our trophies, and disgrace is the meed

^ The traditional date for the sack of Rome by the Gauls is 390 B.C.

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

iudice Fortuna cadat alea. Sumite bellum

et temptate manus. Certe mea causa peracta est :

inter tot fortes armatus nescio vinci.'

Haec ubi personuit, de caelo Delphicus ales omina laeta dedit pepulitque meatibus auras. Nee non horrendi nemoris de parte sinistra insolitae voces flamma sonuere sequenti. 180

Ipse nitor Phoebi vulgato laetior orbe crevit et aurato praecinxit fulgure vultus. 123 Fortior ominibus movit Mavortia signa

Caesar et insolitos gressu prior occupat ausus. Prima quidera glacies et cana vincta pruina non pugnavit humus mitique horrore quievit. Sed postquam turmae nimbos fregere ligatos et pavidus quadrupes undarum vincula rupit, incaluere nives. Mox flumina montibus altis undabant mode nata, sed haec quoque — iussa

putares — 190

stabant, et vincta fluctus stupuere ruina/ et paulo ante lues iam concidenda iacebat. Turn vero male fida prius vestigia lusit decepitque pedes ; pariter turmaeque virique armaque congesta strue deplorata iacebant. Ecce etiam rigido concussae flamine nubes exonerabantur, nee rupti turbine venti derant aut tumida confractum grandine caelum. XjO Ipsae iam nubes ruptae super arma cadebant,

et concreta gelu ponti velut unda ruebat. 200

Victa erat ingenti tellus nive victaque caeli sidera, victa suis haerentia flumina ripis; nondum Caesar erat, sed magnam nixus in hastam

ruina Reisie : pruina.

266

SATYRICON

of conquest, let Chance decide how our lot shall falL Raise the standard and prove your stren^h. My plead- ing at least is accomplished; armed amid so many war- riors I cannot know defeat.' As he spoke these words aloud, the Delphic bird ^ in the sky gave a happy omen, and beat the air as it flew. And from the left quarter ofa gloomy grove strange voices sounded and fire flashed thereafter. Even Phoebus glowed -with orb brighter than his wont, and set a burning halo of gold about his face.

"Heartened by these omens, Caesar advanced the 123 standards of war, and marched first to open this strange tale of daring. At first indeed the ice and the groimd fettered with white frost did not fight against them, and lay quiet in the kindly cold. But then the regiments broke the close-bound clouds, the trembling horses shattered the frozen bonds of the waters, and the snows melted. Soon new-bom rivers rolled from the mountain heights, but they, too, stood still as if by some command, and the waves stopped short with ruining floods enchained, and the water that ran a moment before now halted, hard enough to cut. But then, treacherous before, it mocked their steps and failed their footing; horses and men and arms together fell heaped in misery and ruin. Lo ! too, the clouds were shaken by a strong wind, and let fall their burden, and round the army were gusts of whirl- wind and a sky broken by swollen hail. Now the clouds themselves burst and fell on the armed men, and a mass of ice showered upon them like a wave of the sea. Earth was ovem^helmed in the deep snow, and the stars of heaven, and the rivers that clung tc their banks. But Caesar was not yet overwhelmed ; he

' The raven, consecrated to Apollo on account of its gift of prophecy.

267

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

horrida securis frangebat gressibus arva, qualis Caucasea decurrens arduus arce Amphitryoniades, aut torvo luppiter ore, cum se verticibus magni demisit Olympi et periturorum disiecit ^ tela Gigantum.

Dum Caesar tumidas iratus deprimit arces, interea volucer motis conterrita pinnis 210

Fama volat summique petit iuga celsa Palati atque hoc Romano tonitru ferit omnia signa: iam classes fluitare mari totasque per Alpes fervere Germano perfusas sanguine turmas. Ai'ma, cruor, caedes, incendia totaque bella ante oculos volitant. Ergo pulsata tumultu pectora perque duas scinduntur territa causas. Huic fuga per terras, illi magis unda probatur et patria pontus iam tutior. Est magis arma qui temptare velit fatisque iubentibus uti. 220

Quantum quisque timet, tantum fugit. Ocior ipse hos inter motus populus, miserabile visu, quo mens icta iubet, deserta ducitur urbe. Gaudet Roma fuga, debellatique Quirites rumoris sonitu maerentia tecta relinquunt. Ille manu pavida natos tenet, ille penates occultat gremio deploratumque relinquit limen et absentem votis interficit hostem. Sunt qui coniugibus maerentia pectora iungant, grandaevosque patres onerisque ignara iuventus 230 id pro quo metuit, tantum trahit. Omnia secum hie veliit imprudens praedamque in proelia ducit : ^disiecit Gulielmus: deiecit. 268

SATY EICON

leaned on his tall spear and crushed the rough ground with fearless tread, like the son of Amphitrjon^ hasten- ing down from a high peak of Caucasus, or the fierce countenance of Jupiter, when he descended from the heights of great OljTnpus and scattered the arms of the doomed Giants.

"While Caesar treads down the swelling peaks in his wrath. Rumour flies swift in terror with beating Avings, and seeks out the lofty top of the tall Palatine. Then she strikes all the images of the gods with her message of Roman thunder : how ships are now sweeping the sea, and the horsemen red with German blood pouring hotly over the range of the Alps. Battle, blood, slaughter, fire, and the whole picture of war flits before their eyes. Their hearts shake in confusion, and are fearfully divided between two counsels. One man chooses flight by land, another trusts rather to the water, and the open sea now safer than his own country. Some prefer to attempt a fight and turn Fate's decree to account. As deep as a man's fear is, so far he flies. In the turmoil the people themselves, a woeful sight, are led swiftly out of the deserted city, whither their stricken heart drives them. Rome is glad to flee, her true sons are cowed by war, and at a rumour's breath leave their houses to mourn. One holds his children with a shaking hand, one hides his household gods in his bosom, and weeping, leaves his door and calls down death on the unseen enemj Some clasp their -wives to them in tears, youths carry their aged sires, and, unused to burdens, take with them only what they dread to lose. The fool drags all his goods after him, and marches laden with booty to the battle : and

Hercules : he came down to rescue Prometheus.

269

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER ac velut ex alto cum magnus inhorruit auster et pulsas evertit aquas, non arma ministris, non regimen prodest, ligat alter pondera pinus, alter tuta sinus tranquillaque litora quaerit: hie dat vela fugae Fortunaeque omnia credit. Quid tam parva queror? Gemino cum consule Magnus, ille tremor Ponti saevique repertor Hydaspis et piratarum scopulus, modo quern ter ovantem 240 luppiter horruerat, quern fracto gurgite Pontus et veneratus erat submissa Bosporos unda, pro pudor, imperii deserto nomine fugit, ut Fortuna levis Magni quoque terga videret. 124 Ergo tanta lues divum quoque numina vicit,^ consensitque fugae caeli timor. Ecce per orbem mitis turba deum terras exosa furentes deserit atque hominum damnatum avertitur agmen. Pax prima ante alias niveos pulsata lacertos abscondit galea victum caput atque relicto 250

orbe fugax Ditis petit inplacabile regnum. Huie comes it submissa Fides et crine soluto lustitia ac maerens lacera Concordia palla. At contra, sedes Erebi qua rupta dehiscit,

^ vicit Hermann : vidit, 270

SATYR ICON

all now is as when on high the rush of a strong south wind tumbles and drives the waters, and neither rigging nor helm avail the crews, and one girds together the heavy planks of pine, another heads for quiet inlets and a waveless shore : a third sets sail and flees, and trusts all to Chance. But why sorrow for these petty ills ? Pompey the Great, who made Pontus tremble and explored fierce Hydaspes, the rock that broke the pirates,^ who of late, in his third triumph, shook the heart of Jupiter, to whom the troubled waters of Pontus and the conquered Sea of Bosporus ^ bowed, flees shamefully with the two consuls * and lets his imperial title drop, that fickle Chance might see the back of great Pompey himself turned in flight.

"So great a calamity broke the power of the gods 124 also, and dread in heaven swelled the rout. A host of gentle deities throughout the world abandon the frenzied earth in loathing, and turn aside from the doomed army of mankind.

Peace first of all,\s-ith her snow-white arms bruised, hides her vanquished head beneath her helmet, and leaves the world and turns in flight to the inexorable realm of Dis. At her side goes humble Faith and Justice with loosened hair, and Concord weeping with her cloak rent in pieces. But where the hall of Erebus is open and gapes wide, the dreadful company of Dis

^ Untrue, for he went no further than the Euphrates : the river Hydaspes is in India.

He cleared the Mediterranean of Cilician pirates in forty

days during the year 67 B.C.

He passed over these waters in 66 B.C. in the course of

his campaigfn ag^ainst Mithridates.

C. Claudius Marcellus and L. Cornelius Lentulus Crus,

consuls, 49 B.C.

271

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER emergit late Ditis chorus, horrida Erinys et Bellona minax facibusque armata Megaera Letumque Insidiaeque et lurida Mortis imago. Quas inter Furor, abruptis ceu liber habenis, sanguineum late tollit caput oraque milk- vulneribus confossa cruenta casside velat: 260

haeret detritus laevae Mavortius umbo innumerabilibus telis gravis, atque flagranti stipite dextra minax terris incendia portat.

Sentit terra deos mutataque sidera pondus quaesivere suum ; namque omnis regia caeli in partes diducta ruit. Primumque Dione Caesaris acta sui ducit, comes additur illi Pallas et ingentem quatiens Mavortius hastam. Magnum^ cum Phoebo soror et Cyllenia proles excipit ac totis similis Tirynthius actis. 270

Intremuere tubae ac scisso Discordia crine

extulit ad superos Stygium caput. Huius in ore

concretus sanguis, contusaque lumina flebant,

stabant aerati^ scabra rubigine dentes,

tabo lingua fluens, obsessa draconibus ora,

atque inter torto laceratam pectore vestem

LO sanguineam tremula quatiebat lampada dextra.

Haec ut Cocji;i tenebras et Tartara liquit,

alta petit gradiens iuga nobilis Appennini,

1 Magnum cod. Messaniensis : Magnaque other MSS, 'aerati L: irati O.

272

SATYRICON

ranges forth, the grim Fury, and threatening Bellona, Megaera whirling her torches, and Destruction, and Treachery, and the pale presence of Death. And among them Madness, like a steed loosed when the reins snap, flings up her bloody head and shields her face, scarred by a thousand wounds, with a blood- stained helm; her left hand grips her worn martial shield, hea\-y with countless spear-points, her right waves a blazing brand and carries fire through the world.

" Earth felt that the gods were there, the stars were shaken, and swung seeking their former poise ; for the whole palace of the sky broke and tumbled to ruin. And first Dione^ champions the deeds of Caesar, and Pallas joins her side, and the child of Mars,^ who bran- dishes his tall spear. The sister ^ of Phoebus and the son of Cyllene * and the hero of Tiryns,^ like to him in all his deeds, receive Pompey the Great.

The trumpets shook, and Discord Avith dishevelled hair raised her Stygian head to the upper sky. Blood had dried on her face, tears ran from her bruised eyes, her teeth were mailed with a scurf of rust, her tongutf was dripping with foulness and her face beset with snakes, her clothes were torn before her writhen breasts, and she waved a red torch in her quivering hand. When she had left behind the darkness of Gscytus and Tartarus, she strode forward to the high ridges of

1 Venus, though properly Dione is the mother of Venus. Caesar by convention was descended from her through lulus and Aeneas.

"^ Romulus, as son of Mars.

' Diana.

Mercury, son of Maia and Zeus, born on Mount Cyllene.

' Hercules, who lived at Tiryns while he served Eurystheus.

T 27S

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER unde omnes terras atque omnia litora posset 280

aspicere ac toto fluitantes orbe catervas, atque has erumpit furibundo pectore voces : Sumite nunc gentes accensis mentibus arma, sumite et in medias immittite lampadas urbes. Vincetur, quicunque latet ; non femina cesset, non puer aut aevo iam desolata senectus ; ipsa tremat tellus lacerataque tecta rebellent. Tu legem, Marcelle, tene. Tu concute plebem. Curio. Tu fortem ne supprime, Lentule, Martem. Quid porro tu, dive, tuis cunctaris in armis, 290

non frangis portas, non muris oppida solvis thesaurosque rapis ? Nescis tu, Magne, tueri Romanas arces? Epidamni moenia quaere Thessalicosque sinus humano sanguine tingue.' Factum est in terris, quicquid Discordia iussit." Cum haec Eumolpos ingenti volubilitate verborum efFudisset, tandem Crotona intravimus. Ubi quidem parvo deversorio refecti, postero die amplioris fortunae domum quaerentes incidimus in turbam heredipetarum sciscitantium, quod geims hominum aut unde venire- mus. Ex praescripto ergo consilii communis exaggerata 274

SATYRICON

proud Apennine, to gaze down thence upon all the earth and all its shores, and the armies streaming over the whole globe ; then these words were MTung from her angry soul: To arms now, ye peoples, while your spirit is hot, to arms, and set your torches to the heart of cities. He that would hide him shall be lost: let no women halt, nor children, nor the old who are now wasted with age; let the earth herself quake, and the shattered houses join the fight Thou Marcellus,^ hold fast the law. Thou, Curio,' make the rabble quail. Thou, Lentulus,^ give brave Mars no check. And thou, divine Caesar, why art thou a laggard with thine arms ? Crash down the gates, strip towns of their walls and seize their treasure. So Magnus knows not how to hold the hills of Rome ? Let him take the bulwarks of Epidamnus^ and dye the bays of Thessaly* with the blood of men.' Then all the commands of Discord were fulfilled upon the earth."

Eumolpus poured out these lines with immense fluency, and at last we came into Croton. There we refreshed ourselves in a little inn, but on the next day we went to look for a house of greater pretensions, and fell in with a crowd of fortune-hunters, who in- quired what kind of men we were, and where we had come from. Then, as arranged by our common council,

1 See note on c. 123. The law was the Senatus consultum of 49 B.C. ordering^ Caesar to give up his army.

C. Scribonius Curio, a supporter of Caesar, who was

defeated and killed by Juba in Africa, 49 B.C.

^ Dyrrhachium in Epirus, where Pompey entrenched him- self on the outbreak of war.

Cf. note on c. 121.

t2 27 s

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

verborum volubilitate, unde aut qui essemus, baud L dubie credentibus indicavimus. | Qui statim opes suas summo cum certamine in Eumolpum congesserunt.

Certatim omnes heredipetae muneribus gratiam Eumolpi sollicitant . . .

125 dum haec magno tempore Crotone aguntur . . .

at Eumolpus felicitate plenus prioris fortunae esset oblitus statim adeo, ut suis iactaret, neminem gratiae suae ibi posse resistere impuneque suos, si quid deU- quissent in ea ui'be, beneficio amicorum laturos. Ceterum ego, etsi quotidie magis magisque super- fluentibus bonis saginatum corpus impleveram puta- bamque a custodia mei removisse vultum Fortunam, tamen saepius tarn consuetudinem meam cogitabam quam causam, et quid" aiebam si callidus captator exploratorem in Africam miserit mendaciumque de- prehenderit nostrum? Quid, si etiam mercennarius [Eumolpi] praesenti felicitate lassus indicium ad ami- cos detulerit totamque fallaciam invidiosa proditione detexerit? Nempe rursus fugiendum erit et tandem expugnata paupertas nova mendicitate revocanda. Dii deaeque, quam male est extra legem viventibus ; quicquid meruerunt, semper exspectant." . . .

126 Quia nosti venerem tuam, super biam captas vendis- que amplexus, non commodas. Quo enim spectant flexae pectine comae, quo facies medicamine attrita et oculorum quoque mollis petulantia, quo incessus arte^ compositus et ne vestigia quidem pedum extra mensuram aberrantia, nisi quod formam prostituis, ut

arte Dousa : tute.

276

SATYRICON

a torrent of ready words burst from us^ and they gave easy credence to our account of ourselves and our country. Tliey at once quarrelled fiercely in their eagerness to heap their own riches on Eumolpus.

The fortune-hunters all competed to win Eumol- pus's favoiir with presents. . . .

This went on for a long while in Croton, .... 125 Eiunolpus was flushed with success, and so far forgot the former state of his fortunes as to boast to his inti- mates that no one there could cross his good pleasure, and that his own dependants would escape unpunished by the kindness of his friends if they committed any crime in that city. But though I had lined my belly well every day with the ever-growing supply of good things, and beheved that Fortune had turned away her face from keeping a watch on me, stUl I often thought over my old life and my history, and kept saying to myself, Supposing some cunning legacy-hunter sends a spy over to Africa and finds out our Hes ? Or suppos- ing the servant grows weary of his present luck and gives his friends a hint, or betrays us out of spite, and exposes the whole plot ? Of course we shall have to run away again ; we must start afresh as beggars, and call back the poverty we have now at last driven out. Ah I gods and goddesses! the outlaw has a hard life; he is always waiting to get what he deserves." . . .

Because you know your beauty you are haughty, 1 26 and do not bestow your embraces, but sell them. WTiat is the object of your nicely combed hair, your face plastered with dyes, and the soft fondness even in your glance, and your walk arranged by art so that never a footsteo strays from its place ? It means o^

277

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER vendas ? Vides me : nee auguria novi nee mathemati- corum caelum curare soleo, ex vultibus tamen hominum mores colligo, et cum spatiantem vidi, quid cogitet^ scio. Sive ergo nobis vendis quod peto, mercator para- tus est, sive quod humanius est, commodas, effice ut beneficiumdebeamus. Nam quod servum te et humilem fateris, accendis desiderium aestuantis. Quaedam enim feminae sordibus calent, nee libidinem concitant, nisi aut servos viderint aut statores altius cinctos. Harena alias accendit aul perfusus pulvere mulio aut histrio scaenae ostentatione traductus. Ex hac nota domina est mea : usque ab orchestra quattuordecim transilit et in extrema plebe quaerit quod diligat."

Itaque oratione blandissima plenus rogo " inquam

numquid ilia, quae me amat, tu es ? " Multum risit ancilla post tarn frigidum schema et nolo" inquit

tibi tam valde placeas. Ego adhuc servo nunquam succubui, nee hoc dii sinant, ut amplexus meos in crucem mittam. Viderint matronae, quae flagellorum vestigia osculantur ; ego etiam si ancilla sum, nunquam tamen nisi in equestribus sedeo." Mirari equidem tam discordem libidinem coepi atque inter monstra numerare, quod ancilla haberet matronae superbiam et matrona ancillae humilitatem. LO I Procedentibus deinde longius iocis rogavi ancillam, ut in platanona perduceret dominam. Placuit puellae consilium. Itaque collegit altius tunicam flexitque se

^ cogitet Burmann : cogites. 278

SATYRICON

course that you offer your comeliness freely for sale. Look at me ; I know nothing of omens, and I never attend to the astrologer's sky, but I read character in a man's face, and when I see him walk I know his thoughts. So if you will sell us what I want, there is a buyer ready: if you will be more gracious and bestow it upon us, let us be indebted to you for a favour. For when you admit that you are a slave ot low degree, you fan the passion of a lady who bums for you. Some women kindle for vile fellows, and cannot rouse any desire unless they have a slave or a servant in short garments in their eye. Some bum for a gladiator, or a muleteer smothered in dust, or an actor disgraced by exhibiting himself on the stage. My mistress is of this class ; she skips fourteen rows away from the orchestra, and hunts for a lover among the low people at the back."

With my ears full of her winning words I then said, It is not you, I suppose, who love me so?" The girl laughed loudly at such a clumsy turn of speech, and said. Pray do not be so conceited. I never yielded to a slave yet, and God forbid that I should throw my arms round a gallows-bird. The married women may see to that, and kiss the scars of a flog- ging; I may be only a lady's maid, for all that I never sit down in any seats but the knights'." I began to marvel at their contrary passions, and to count them as portents, the maid ha\'ing the pride of a married ladj', and the married lady the low tastes of a wench.

Then as our jokes proceeded further, I asked the maid to bring her mistress ic to the grove of plane- trees. The plan pleased the girl. So she gathered her skirts up higher, and turned into the laurel grove

279

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER in eum daphnona, qui ambulationi haerebat. Nee diu morata dominam produeit e latebris laterique meo applicatj mulierem omnibus simulaeris emendatiorem. Nulla vox est quae formam eius possit comprehenderfc, nam quiequid dixero, minus erit. Crines ingenio sue flexi per totos se umeros efFuderant, frons minima et quae radices capillorum retro flexerat, supercilia usque ad malarum scripturam currentia et rursus confinio luminum paene permixta, oculi clariores stellis extra lunam fulgentibus, nares paululum inflexae et osculum quale Praxiteles habere Dianam credidit. lam men- turn, iam cervix, iam manus, iam pedum candor intra auri gracile vinculum positus : Parium marmor exstin- xerat. Itaque tunc primum Dorida vetus amator con- tempsi . . .

Quid factum est, quod tu proiectis, luppiter, annis

inter caelicolas fabula muta taces? Nunc erat a torva submittere cornua fronte,

nunc pluma canos dissimulare tuos. Haec vera est Danae. Tempta modo tangere corpus,

iam tua flammifero membra calore fluent . . . 127 Delectata ilia risit tarn blandum, ut videretur mihi plenum os extra nubem luna proferre. Mox digitis gubernantibus vocem "Si non fastidis" inquit femi-

280

SATYRICON

which grew close to our path. She was not long away before she led the lady out of her hiding- place, and brought her to my side. The woman was more perfect than any artist's dream. There are no words that can include all her beauty, and what- ever I write must fall short of her. Her hair grew in natural Avaves and flowed all over her shoulders, her forehead was small, and the roots of her hair brushed back from it, her brows ran to the edge of her cheekbones and almost met again close beside her ej'es, and those ej'es were brighter than stars far from the moon, and her nose had a little curve, and her mouth was the kind that Praxiteles ^ dreamed Diana had. And her chin and her neck, and her hands, and the gleam of her foot under a hght band of gold ! She had turned the marble of Paros dull. So then at last I put my old passion for Doris to despite. . . .

"WTiat is come to pass, Jupiter, that thou hast cast away thine armour, and now art silent in heaven and become an idle tale? Now were a time for thee to let the horns sprout on thy lowering forehead, or hide thy white hair under a swan's feathers. This is the true Danae. Dare only to touch her body, and all thy limbs shall be loosened with fiery heat." . . .

She was happy, and smiled so sweetly that I thought 1 27 the full moon had shown me her face from behind a cloud. Then she said, letting the words escape through her fingers, " If you do not despise a rich

^ The celebrated 4th century sculptor made for Mantinea a group (not extant) of Leto with Apollo and Artemis, a statue of Artemis Brauronia for Athens, and an Artemis for Aiiticyra.

2 Jupiter, when he loved Europa, Leda, an d Danae, appeared to them as a bull, a swan, and a shower of gold respec- tively.

281

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER nam ornatam et hoc primum anno virum expertam, concilio tibi, o iuvenis, sororem. Habes tu quidem et fratrem, neque enim me piguit inquirere, sed quid pro- hibet et sororem adoptare? Eodem gradu venio. Tu tantum dignare et meum osculum, cum libuerit, agno- scere. " Immo" inquam ego per fomiam tuam te Togo, ne fastidias hominem peregrinum inter cultores admittere. Invenies religiosum, si te adorari per- miseris. Ac ne me iudices ad hoc templum Amoris gratis accedere, dono tibi fratrem meum. " ' Quid ? tu " inquit ilia donas mihi eum, sine quo non potes vivere, ex cuius osculo pendes, quem sic tu amas, quemad- modum ego te volo?" Haec ipsa cum diceret, tanta gratia conciliabat vocem loquentis, tarn dulcis sonus pertemptatum mulcebat aera^ ut putares inter auras canere Sirenum concordiam. Itaque miranti [et] toto mihi caelo clarius nescio quid relucente libuit deae nomen quaerere. Ita" inquit non dixit tibi ancilla mea me Circen vocari? Non sum quidem Solis pro- genies, nee mea mater, dum placet, labentis mundi cursum detinuit. Habebo tamen quod caelo imputem, si nos fata coniunxerint. Immo iam nescio quid tacitis cogitationibus deus agit. Nee sine causa Polyaenon Circe amat: semper inter haec nomina magna fax surgit. Sume ergo amplexum, si placet. Neque est

quid tu Pithoeus: quidnL

282

SATYRICON

woman who has known a man first this very year, dear youth, I will give you a new sister. True, you have a brother, too, for I made bold to inquire, but why should you not take to yourself a sister as well ? I Avill come as the same kind of relation. Deign only to recognize my kiss also when it is your good pleasure."

"l should rather implore you by your beauty," I replied, " not to scorn to enrol a stranger among your worshippers. You will find me a true votary, if you allow me to kneel before you. And do not think that I would enter this shrine of Love without an offering ; I will give you my own brother."

"WTiat," she said, "you give me the one without whom you cannot live, on whose lips you hang, whom you love as I would have you love me?" Even as she spoke grace made her words so attractive, the sweet noise fell so softly upon the listening air, that you seemed to have the harmony of the Sirens ringing in the breeze. So as I marvelled, and all the hght of the sky somehow fell brighter upon me, I was moved to ask my goddess her name. Then my maid did not tell you that I am called Circe?" she said. I am not the Sun-child indeed, and my mother has never stayed the moving world in its course while she will. But I shall have a debt to pay to Heaven if fate brings you and me together. Surely now, the Gods with their quiet thoughts have some plan in the making. Circe does not love Polyaenus ^ without good reason ; when these two names meet, a great fire is always set ablaze. Then take me in your embrace if you like.

^ Polyaenus is the name assumed by Encolpius at Croton. Circe in the Odyssey (Book X) is daughter of the Sun. Cf. c. 134 : Phoebe ia Circe,

28S

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

quod curiosum aliquem extimescas : longe ab hoc loco frater est." Dixit haec Circe, implicitumque me bra- chiis mollioribus pluma deduxit in terrain vario gramine indutam.

Idaeo quales fudit de vertice flores terra parens, cum se concesso^ iunxit amori luppiter et toto concepit pectore flammas : emicuere rosae violaeque et molle cyperon, albaque de viridi riserunt lilia prato : talis humus Venerem molles clamavit in herbas, candidiorque dies secreto favit amori. In hoc gramine pariter compositi mille osculis lusi- mus, quaerentes voluptatem robustam . . . 128L I "Quid est?" inquit ' numquid te osculum meum offendit? Numquid spiritusiejuniomarcens?^ Numquid alarum negligens sudor? Aut^ si haec non sunt, num- quid Gitona times?" Perfusus ego rubore manifesto etiam si quid habueram virium, perdidi, totoque cor- pore velut luxato* ' quaeso" inquam regina, noli suggillare miserias. Veneficio contactus sum "...

" Die, Chrysis, sed verum : numquid indecens sum ? Numquid incompta? Numquid ab aliquo naturali vitio formam meam excaeco ? Noli decipere dominam tuam. Nescio quid peccavimus." Rapuit deinde tacenti speculum, et postquam omnes vultus temptavit, quos solet inter amantes risus fingere, excussit vexatam solo vestem raptimque aedem Veneris intravit. Ego contra damnatus et quasi quodam visu in horrorem perductus interrogare animum meum coepi, an vera voluptate fraudatus essem.

^ concesso Sambucus : confesso. ^ mavcens Bucc/ieler: macer. ^ h\\X. Buecheler : putc.

\\nii.a.ioJungermann: laxato.

284

SATYRICON

You need have no fear of any spy; your brother is far away from here."

Circe was silent, folded me in two arms softer than a bird's wing, and drew me to the ground on a carpet of coloured flowers.

"Such flowers as Earth, our mother, spread on Ida's top when Jupiter embraced her and she yielded her love, and all his heart was kindled with fire: roses glowed there, and violets, and the tender flowering rush ; and white lilies laughed from the green grass : such a soil summoned Venus to the soft grasses, and the day grew brighter and looked kindly on their hidden pleasure."

We lay together there among the flowers and ex- changed a thousand light kisses, but we looked for sterner play. . . .

"Tell me," she cried, "do you find no joy in my 128 lips ? Nor in the breath that faints -svith h\mger ? Nor in my body wet with heat? If it is none of these, are you afraid of Giton?" I crimsoned with blushes under her eyes, and lost anj- strength I might have had before, and cried as though there were no whole part In my body. Dear lady, have mercy, do not mock my grief. Some poison has infected me." . . .

" Speak to me, Chrysis, tell me true : am I ugly or untidy ? Is there some natural blemish that darkens my beauty ? Do not deceive your OAvn mistress. I know not how, but I have sinned." She then snatched a glass from the silent girl, and after trying every look that raises a smile to most lovers' lips, she shook out the cloak the earth had stained, and hurried into the temple of Venus. But I was lost and horror-stricken as if I had seen a ghost, and began to inquire of my heart whether I was cheated of my true delight.

285

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER LO I Nocte soporifera veluti cum somnia ludunt errantes oculos efFossaque protulit aurum in lucem tellus : versat manus improba furtum thesaurosque rapit, sudor quoque perluit ora et mentem timor altus habet, ne forte gravatum excutiat gremium secret! conscius auri : mox ubi fugerunt elusam gaudia mentem veraque forma redit, animus, quod perdidit, optat atque in praeterita se totus imagine versat . . . L I Itaque hoc nomine tibi gratias ago, quod me Socratica fide diligis. Non tam intactus Alcibiades in praeceptoris sui lecto iacuit" . . . 129 Crede mihi, frater, non intellego me virum esse,

non sentio. Funerata est ilia pars corporis, qua quon- dam Achilles eram" . . .

Veritus puer, ne in secreto deprehensus daret ser- monibus locum, proripuit se et in partem aedium in- teriorem fugit . . . LO j cubiculum autem meum Chrysis intravit codicil- losque mihi dominae suae reddidit, in quibus haec erant scripta: Circe Polyaeno salutem. Si libidinosa essem, quererer decepta; nunc etiam languori tuo gratias ago. In umbra voluptatis diutius lusi. Quid tamen agas, quaero, et an tuis pedibus perveneris domum ; negant enim medici sine nervis homines ambulare posse. Narrabo tibi, adulescens, paralysin cave. Nunquam ego aegrum tam magno periculo vidi ; medius fidius iam peristi. Quod si idem frigus genua manusque temptaverit tuas, licet ad tubicines mittas. 286

SATYRICON

As when dreams deceive our wandering eyes in the hea\'\' slumber of night, and under the spade the earth jields gold to the light of day: our greedy hands finger the spoil and snatch at the treasure, sweat too runs doAvn our face, and a deep fear grips our heart that maybe some one will shake out our laden bosom, where he knows the gold is hid: soon, when these pleasures flee from the brain they mocked, and the true shape of things comes back, our mind is eager for what is lost, and moves with all its force among the shadows of the past. . . .

So in his name I give you thanks for loving me as true as Socrates. Alcibiades never lay so unspotted in his master's bed." . . .

I tell you, brother, I do not realize that I am a 1 29 man, I do not feel it. That part of my body where I was once an Achilles is dead and buried." . . .

'file boy was afraid that he might give an opening for scandal if he were caught in a quiet place with me, and tore himself away and fled into an inner part of ihe house. . . .

Chrj'sis came into my room and gave me a letter from her mistress, who wrote as follows : Circe greets Polyaenus. If I were a passionate woman, I should feel betrayed and hurt : as it is I can be thankful even for your coldness. I have amused myself too long with the shadow of pleasure. But I should like to know how you are, and whether your feet carried you safely home; the doctors say that people who have lost their sinews cannot walk. I tell you what, young man, you must beware of paralysis. I have never seen a sick person in such grave danger; I declare you are as good as dead. If the same mortal hill attacks your knees and hands, you may send for

' 287

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Quid ergo est? Etiam si gravem iniuriam accepi, homini tamen misero non invideo medicinam. Si vis sanus esse, Gitonem roga. Recipies, inquam, nervos tuos, si triduo sine fratre dormieris. Nam quod ad me attinet, non timeo, ne quis inveniatur cui minus pla- ceam. Nee speculum mihi nee fama mentitur. Vale, si potes."

Ut intellexit Chrysis perlegisse me totum convicium, Solent" inquit haec fieri, et praeeipue in hac civi- tate, in qua mulieres etiam lunam deducunt . . . itaque huius quoque rei cura agetur. Rescribe modo blandius dominae animumque eius Candida humanitate restitue. Verum enim fatendum est: ex qua hora iniuriam ac- cepit, apud se non est." Libenter quidem parui an- ISO cillae verbaque codicillis talia imposui: Polyaenos Circae salutem. Fateor me, domina, saepe peccasse ; nam et homo sum et adhuc iuvenis. Nunquam tamen ante hunc diem usque ad mortem deliqui. Habes con- fitentem reum : quicquid iusseris, merui. Proditionem feci, hominem occidi, templum viola vi: in haec faci- nora quaere supplicium. Sive occidere placet, ferro meo venio, sive verberibus contenta es, curro nudus ad dominam. Illud unum memento, non me sed in- strumenta peccasse. Paratus miles arma non habui. Quis hoc turbaverit, nescio. Forsitan animus antecessit corporis moram, forsitan dum omnia concupisco, volu- ptatem tempore consumpsi. Non in venio, quod feci. Paralysin tamen cavere iubes •• tanquam ea^ maior fieri

^ &2l Buecheler : iam. 288

SATYRICON

the funeral trumpeters. And what about me ? WeDL even if I have been deeply wounded^ I do not grudge a poor man a cure. If you want to get well, ask Giton. T think you will recover your sinews if you sleep for three days Avithout your brother. So far as I am concerned, I am not afraid of finding anj'one who dislikes me more. My looking-glass and my reputation do not lie. Keep as well as you can."

When Chrysis saw that I had read through the whole of this complaint, she said: These things often happen, especially in this to^vn, where the women can even draw do\\'n the moon from the sky, and so attention will be paid to this matter also. Only do write back more gently to my mistress, and restore her spirits by your frank kindness. For I must tell you the truth: she has never been herself from the moment you insulted her."

I obeyed the girl with pleasure and wrote on 1 30 a tablet as follows : Pol5'aenus greets Circe. Dear lady, I admit my many failings ; for I am human, and still young. But never before this day have I committed deadly sin. The culprit confesses to you ; I have deserved whatever you may order. I have been a traitor, I have destroyed a man, and pro- faned a temple: demand my punishment for these crimes. If you decide on execution, I Avill come ^vith my sword ; if you let me off with a flogging, I will run naked to my lady. Illud unum memento, non me sed instrumenta peccasse. Paratus miles arma non habui. Who upset me so I know not. Perhaps my will ran on while my body lagged behind, perhaps I wasted all my pleasure in delay by desiring too much. I cannot discover what I did. But you tell me to beware of paralysis: as if the disease could grow u 289

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER possit, quae abstulit mihi, per quod etiam te habere potui. Summa tamen excusationis meae haec est: placebo tibi^ si me culpam emendare penniseris "... L I Dimissa cum eiusmodi pollicitatione Chryside cu- ravi diligentius noxiosissimum corpus, balneoque prae- terito modica unctione usus, mox cibis validioribus pastus, id est bulbis cochlearumque sine iure cervici- bus, hausi parcius merum. Huic ante somnum levis- sima ambulatione compositus sine Gitone cubiculum intravi. Tanta erat placandi cura, ut timerem, ne 131 latus meum frater convelleret. Postero die, cum sine offensa corporis animique consurrexissem, in eundem platanona descendi, etiam si locum inauspicatum time- bam, coepique inter arbores ducem itineris exspectare Chrysidem. Nee diu spatiatus consederam, ubi hester- no die fueram, cum ilia intus venit^ comitem anicu- 1am trahens. Atque ut me consalutavit, 'Quid est" inquit fastose, ecquid bonam mentem habere coepisti ? "

Ilia de sinu licium protulit varii coloris filis intortum cervicemque vinxit meam. Mox turbatum sputo pul- verem medio sustulit digito frontemque repugnantis signavit . . .

Hoc peracto carmine ter me iussit exspuere terque lapillos conicere in sinum, quos ipsa pi*aecantatos pur- pura involverat, admotisque manibus temptare coepit inguinum vires. Dicto citius nervi paruerunt imperio manusque aniculae ingenti motu repleverunt. At ilia ^ intus venit Buecheler : intervenit, 290

SATYRICON

worse, which has taken away from me the means of making you my own. But my apology amounts to this — I will do your pleasure if you allow me to mend my fault." . . .

Chrysis was sent off with this promise, and I paid great attention to my offending body, and after leaving my bath anointed myself in moderation, and then fed on strong foods, onions, I mean, and snails' heads without sauce, and di'ank sparingly of wine. I then settled myself with a gentle walk before bed, and went into my room without Giton. I was so anxious to please her that I was afraid my brother might take away my strength. Next day I got up sound in mind 131 and body, and went down to the same grove of plane- trees, though I was rather afraid of the unlucky place, and began to wait among the trees for Chrysis to lead me on my way.

After walking up and down a short while, I sat where I had been the day before, and Chrysis came under the trees, bringing an old woman with her. When she had greeted me, she said. Well, disdain- ful lover, have you begun to come to your senses?" Then the old woman took a twist of threads of differ- ent colours out of her dress, and tied it round my neck. Then she mixed some dust with spittle, and took it on her middle finger, and made a mark on my forehead despite my protest. . . .

After this she ordered me in a rhyme to spit three times and throw stones into my bosom three times, after she had said a spell over them and wTapped them in purple, and laid her hands on me and began to try the force of her charm. . . . Dicto citius ner\-i parue- runt imperio manusque aniculae ingenti motu reple- v2 291

TITUS PETHONIUS ARBITER

gaudio exsultans Vides" inquit Chrysis mea, vides, quod aliis leporem excitavi?" . . . LO I Nobilis aestivas plat anus diffuderat umbras

et bacis rediinita Daphne tremulaeque cupressus et circum tonsae trepidant! vertice pinus. Has inter ludebat aquis errantibus amnis spumeus et querulo vexabat rore lapillos. Dignus amore locus : testis silvestris aedon atque urbana Procne, quae circum gramina fusae ac molles violas cantu sua furta^ colebant . . . Premebat ilia resoluta marmoreis cervicibus aureum torum myrtoque florenti quietum . . . verberabat. Itaque ut me vidit, paululum erubuit, hesternae scili- cet iniuriae memor ; deinde ut remotis omnibus secundum invitantem consedi, ramum super oculos meos posuit^ et quasi pariete interiecto audacior facta. Quid est" inquit paralytice? ecquid hodie totus ve- nisti ? ' ' Rogas ' ' inquam ego potius quam temptas ? ' ' Totoque corpore in amplexum eius immissus non prae- cantatis usque ad satietatem osculis fruor . . . 1 32L I Ipsa corporis pulchritudine me ad se vocante tra- hebat ad venerem. lam pluribus osculis collisa labra crepitabant, iam implicitae manus omne genus amoris invenerant, iam alligata mutuo ambitu corpora ani- marum quoque mixturam fecerant . . .

Manifestis matrona contumeliis verberata tandem ad ultionem decurrit vocatque cubicularios et me iubet catomidiari.^ Nee contenta mulier tam gravi iniuria

^ fiirta Buecheler : sura or rura. 'catomidiari Salmasius: catarogare.

SATYRICON

verunt. At ilia gaudio exsultans Vides" inquit " Chrysis mea^ vides, quod aliis leporem excitavi?" . . .

The stately plane-tree, and Daphne decked with berries, and the quivering cj-presses, and the swaying tops of the shorn pines, cast a summer shade. Among them played the straying waters of a foamy river, lashing the pebbles with its chattering flow. The place was proper to love ; so the nightingale of the woods bore witness, and Procne from the to^^'n, as they hovered about the grasses and the tender violets, and pursued their stolen loves >vith a song. . . .

She was stretched out there -with her marble neck pressed on a golden bed, brushing her placid face with a spray of myrtle in flower. So when she saw me she blushed a little, of course remembering my rude- ness the day before ; then, Avhen they had all left us, she asked me to sit by her, and I did ; she laid the sprig of myrtle over my eyes, and then gro^^-ing bolder, as if she had put a wall between us. Well, poor paralytic," she said, have you come here to-day a whole man?" Do not ask me," I replied, try me." I threw myself eagerly into her arms, and en- joyed her kisses unchecked by any magic until I was tired. . . .

The lovelmess of her body called to me and drew 132 us together. There was the sound of a rain of kisses as our lips met, our hands were clasped and discovered all the ways of love, then our bodies were held and bound by our embrace until even our souls were made as one soul. . . .

My open taunts stung the lady, and at last she ran to avenge herself, and called her chamber grooms, and ordered me to be hoisted for flogging. Not content With this black insult, the woman called up all her low

293

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

mea convocat omnes quasillarias familiaeque sordidissi- mam partem ac me conspui iubet. Oppono ego manus oculis meis, nullisque efFusis precibus^ quia sciebam quidmeruissem,verberibussputisque^ . . . extra ianuam eieetus sum. Eicitur et Proselenos, Chrysis vapulat, totaque familia tristis inter se mussat quaeritque, quis dominae hilaritatem confuderit . . .

Itaque pensatis vieibus animosior verberum notas arte contexij ne aut Eumolpus contumelia mea hilarior LO fieret aut tristior Giton. | Quod solum igitur salvo pudore poteram, contingere languorem simulavi, con- ditusque lectulo totum ignem furoris in eam converti, quae mihi omnium malorum causa fuerat : ter corripui terribilem manu bipennem, ter languidior coliculi repente thyrso ferrum timui, quod trepido male dabat usum. Nee iam poteram, quod modo conficere libebat ; namque ilia metu frigidior rigente bruma confugerat in viscera mille operta rugis. Ita non potui supplicio caput aperire, sed furciferae mortifero timore lusus ad verba, magis quae poterant nocere, fugi. Erectus igitur in cubitum hac fere oratione contu- macemvexavi: Quid dicis" inquam omnium homi- num deorumque pudor ? Nam ne nominare quidem te inter res serias fas est. Hoc de te merui, ut me in L caelo positum ad inferos traheres? | Ut traduceres annos primo florentes vigore senectaeque ultimae mihi lassitudinem imponeres ? Rogo te, mihi apodixin de- fimctoriam redde." Haec ut iratus efFudi,

' Btiecheler -would i7isert obrutus.

SATi^RICON

spinsters, und the very dregs of her slaves, and m\-ited til em to spit upon me. I put my hands to my eyes aTid never poured forth any appeal, for I knew my deserts, and was beaten and spat upon and thrown out of doors. Proselenos was thrown out too, Chrysis was flogged, and all the slaves muttered gloomily to themselves, and asked who had upset their mistress's spirits. ... So after considering my position I took courage, and carefully hid the marks of the lash for fear Eumolpus should exult or Giton be depressed at my disgrace. | Quod solum igitur salvo pudore pote- ram, contingere languorem simula\i, conditusque lec- tulo totum ignem furoris in eam converti, quae mihi omnium malorum causa fuerat:

ter corripui terribUem manu bipennem,

ter languidior coliculi repente thyrso

ferrum timui, quod trepido male dabat usum.

Nee iam poteram, quod modo conficere libebat;

namque ilia metu frigidior rigente bruma

confugerat in viscera mille operta rugis.

Ita non potui supplicio caput aperire,

sed furciferae mortifero timore lusus

ad verba, magis quae poterant nocere, fiigi.

Erectus igitur in cubitum hac fere oratione contu- macemvexavi: Quid dicis " inquam omnium homi- num deorumque pudor ? Nam ne nominare quidem te inter res serias fas est. Hoc de te merui, ut me in caelo positum ad inferos traheres? | Ut traduceres annos primo florentes vigore senectaeque ultimae mihi lassitudinem imponeres ? Rogo te, mihi apodixin dcr functoriam redde." Haec ut iratus effiidi,

295

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

LO I ilia solo fixos oculos aversa tenebat,

nee magis incepto vultum sermone movetur quam lentae salices lassove papavera coUo. Nee minus ego tarn foeda obiurgatione finita paeni- tentiam agere sermonis mei coepi secretoque rubore perfundi, quod oblitus verecundiae meae cum ea parte corporis verba contulerim, quam ne ad cognitionem quidem admittere severioris notae homines solerent. Mox perfricata diutius fronte Quid autem ego" in- quam mali feci, si dolorem meum naturali convicio exoneravi ? Aut quid est quod in corpore humano ventri male dicere solemus aut gulae capitique etiam, cum saepius dolet? Quid? Non et Vlixes cum corde L litigat suOj I et quidam tragici oculos suos tanquam audientes castigant ? Podagrici pedibus suis male dicunt, chiragrici manibus, lippi oculis, et qui ofFen- derunt saepe digitos, quicquid doloris habent, in pedes deferunt : LO I Quid me constricta spectatis fronte Catones damnatisque novae simplicitatis opus ? Sermonis pun non tristis gratia ridet,

quodque facit populus, Candida lingua refert. Nam quis concubitus. Veneris quis gaudia nescit ?

Quis vetat^ in tepido membra calere toro ? Ipse pater veri doctos Epicurus amare^

iussit, et hoc vitam dixit habere xeAos "... L I Nihil est hominum inepta persuasione falsius nee

ficta severitate ineptius "... ISSLO I Hac declamatione finita Gitona voco et Narra mihi " inquam frater, sed tua fide : ea nocte, qua te mihi Ascyltos subduxit, usque in iniuriam vigilavit,

vetat Dousa : petat.

• doctos amare Dousa : doctus in arte.

29^

SATYRICON

I ilia solo fixos oculos aversa tenebat, LO

nee magis incepto \-ultum sermone movetur quam lentae salices lassove papavera collo.

Nee minus ego tarn foeda obiurgatione finita paeni- tentiam agere sermonis mei coepi secretoque rubore perfundij quod oblitus verecundiae meae cum ea parte corporis verba contulerim, quam ne ad cognitionem quidem admittere severioris notae homines solerent.

Then, after rubbing my forehead for a long while, I said. But what harm have I done if I have reheved my sorrow -with some free abuse ? And then there is the fact that of our bodilj- members we often damn our guts, our throats, even our heads, when they give us much trouble. Did not Ulysses argue 'v^ith his own heart,^ while some tragedians curse their eyes as if they could hear? Goutj' people damn their feet, people with chalk-stones their hands, blear-eyed people their eyes, and men who have often hurt their toes put do-ttTi all their Uls to their poor feet:

Why do ye, Cato's disciples, look at me with wrinkled foreheads, and condemn a work of fresh simplicity? A cheerful kindness laughs through my pure speech, and my clean mouth reports whatever the people do. All men born know of mating and the joys of love; all men are free to let their limbs glow in a warm bed. Epicurus, the true father of truth, bade wise men be lovers, and said that therein lay the crown of life.

There is nothing more insincere than people's silly con\ictions, or more silly than their sham moralitj'. . . .

WTien my speech was over, I called Giton, and said, 1 33 Now tell me, brother, on your honour. That night when Ascjltos took you away from me, did he keep

' In the line rirXaOi iij, KpaSii^, icdi Kirrrepar SXko xar' (rKyp.

297

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

an contentus fuit vidua pudicaque nocte ? " Tetigit puer oculos suos conceptissimisque iuravit verbis sibi ab Ascylto nullam vim factam . . .

Positoque in limine genu sic depreeatus sum numina versu :

Nympharum Bacchique comes, quem pulchra Dionc divitibus silvis numen dedit, inclita paret cui Lesbos viridisque Thasos, quem Lydus adorat semper ovans^ templumque suis* imponit Hypaepis : hue ades et Bacchi tutor Dryadumque voluptas, et timidas admitte preces. Non sanguine tristi perfusus venio, non templis impius hostis admovi dextram, sed inops et rebus egenis attritus facinus non toto corpore feci. Qu isquis peccat inops, minor est reus. Hac prece quaeso, exonera mentem culpaeque ignosce minori, et quandoque mihi fortunae arriserit hora, non sine honore tuum patiar decus. Ibit ad aras, sancte tuas hircus, pecoris pater, ibit ad aras corniger et querulae fetus suis, hostia lactens. Spumabit pateris hornus liquor, et ter ovantem circa delubrum gressum feret ebria pubes" . . .

Dum haec ago curaque sollerti deposito meo caveo, intravit delubrum anus laceratis crinibus nigraque veste deformis, extraque vestibulum me iniecta manu duxit . . . 134L "Quae striges comederunt nervos tuos, aut quod purgamentum nocte calcasti in trivio aut cadaver? Ne

septifluus most MSS.: semperflavius cod. Bernensu : vesti-

fluus Turnebus : semper ovans Buecheler.

^ s\i\s Jungermann : luis.

fetus Sambucus : festu^,

298

SATYRICON

awake until he had %vronged you, or was he satisfied with spending the night decently alone?" The boy touched his eyes and swore a most precise oath that Ascyltos had used no force to him. . . .

I kneeled down on the threshold and entreated the favour of the gods in these lines :

Comrade of the Nj-mphs and Bacchus, whom lovely Dione set as god over the wide forests, whom famous Lesbos and green Thasos obey, whom the Lydian worships in perpetual celebration, whose temple he has set in his own city of Hypaepa : come hither, guardian of Bacchus and the Dryads' delight, and hear my humble prayer. I come not to thee stained with dark blood, I have not laid hands on a temple like a wicked enemy, but when I was jx)or and worn with want I sinned, yet not with my whole body. There is less guilt in a poor man's sin. This is my prayer; take the load from my mind, forgive a light offence; and whenever fortune's season smiles upon me, I will not leave thy glory ^^^thout worship. A goat shall walk to thine altars, most holy one, a homed goat that is father of the flock, and the young of a grunting sow, a tender sacrifice. The new wine of the year shall foam in the bowls, and the young men full of wine shall trace their joyous steps three times roimd thy sanctuary." . . .

As I was doing this and making clever plans to guard my trust, an old woman in ugh' black clothes, with her hair down, came into the shrine, laid hands on me, and drew me out through the porch. . . .

\V'hat screech-owl has eaten your nerve away, 134 what foul thing or corpse have you trodden on at a cross-road in the dark? Never even in boyhood

29»

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

a puero quidem te vindicasti, sed mollis^ debilis, lassus tanquam caballus in clivo, et operam et sudorem per- didisti. Nee eontentus ipse peccare, mihi deos iratos excitasti"^ . . .

LO 1 Ac me iterum in cellam sacerdotis nihil recusantem perduxit impulitque super lectum et harundinem ab ostio rapuit iterumque nihil respondentem mulcavit. Ac nisi primo ictu harundo quassata impetum verbe- rantis minuisset, forsitan etiam brachia mea caputque fregisset. Ingemui ego utique propter mascarpionem, lacrimisque ubertim manantibus obscuratum dextra caput super pulvinum inclinavi. Nee minus ilia fletu confusa altera parte lectuli sedit aetatisque longae moram tremulis vocibus coepit accusare, donee inter- venit sacerdos.

"Quid vos" inquit ' in cellam meam tanquam ante recens bustum venistis ? | Utique die feriarum, quo etiam lugentes rident."

LO I O" inquit Oenothea, hunc adulescentem quern vides : malo astro natus est ; nam neque puero neque

L puellae bona sua vendere potest. | Nunquam tu homi- nem tarn infelicem vidisti : lorum in aqua^ non inguina

LO habet. | Ad summam^ qualem putas esse, qui de Circes

L toro sine voluptate surrexit?" | His auditis Oenothea inter utrumque consedit motoque diutius capite Istum ' ' inquit morbum sola sum quae erne ndare scio. Et ne me putetis perplexe agere, rogo ut adulescentulus mecum nocte dormiat . . . nisi illud tarn rigidum reddidero quam cornu : ^excitasti Wouwer: extricasti.

soo

SATYRICON

could you hold your own, but you were weakly, feeble, tired, and like a cab-horse on a hill you wasted your efforts and your sweat. And not content 'v^-ith failing yourself, you have roused the gods to wrath against me." . . .

And she took me unresisting into the priestess's room again, and pushed me over the bed, and took a cane off the door and beat me again when I remained unresponsive. And if the cane had not broken at the first stroke and lessened the force of the blow, I dare- say she would have broken my head and my arm outright. Anyhow I groaned at her dirty tricks, and wept abundantly, and covered my head with my right arm, and leaned against the pillow. She was upset, and cried too, and sat on another piece of the bed, and began to curse the delays of old age in a quavering voice, when the priestess came in.

" Why have you come into my room as if you were visiting a fresh-made grave?" she said. Especially on a holiday, when even mourners smile." Ah, Oenothea," said the woman, this young man was bom under a bad planet ; he cannot sell his treasure to boys or girls either. You never beheld such an unlucky creature : he is a piece of wash-leather, not a real man. Just to show you, what do you think of a man who can come away from Circe without a spark of pleasure?" When Oenothea heard this she sat down between us, shook her head for some time, and then said, I am the only woman ahve who knows how to cure that disease. Et ne me putetis perplexe agere, rogo ut adulescentulus mecuuj nocte dor- miat . . . nisi illud tam rigidum reddidero quam comu :

301

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER LO I Quicquid in orbe vides, paret mihi. Florida tellus, cum vcloj siccatis arescit languida sucis^ cum voloj fundit opes^ scopulique atque horrida saxa Niliacas iaculantur aquas. Mihi pontus inertes submittit fluctus, zephyrique tacentia ponunt ante meos sua flabra pedes. Mihi flumina parent Hyrcanaeque tigres et iussi stare dracones. Quid leviora loquor ? Lunae descendit imago carminibus deducta meis, trepidusque fiirentes flectere Phoebus equos revoluto cogitur orbe. Tantum dicta valent. Taurorum flamma quiescit virgineis exstincta sacris, Phoebeia Circe carminibus magicis socios mutavit Vlixis, Proteus esse solet quicquid hbet. His ego callens artibus Idaeos frutices in gurgite sistam et rursus fluvios in summo vertice ponam." 1 35 Inhorrui ego tam fabulosa pollicitatione conterritus, anumque inspicere dihgentius coepi . . . 'Ergo" exclamat Oenothea ' imperio parete" . . . detersisque curiose manibus inclinavit se in lectulum ac me semel iterumque basiavit ... L I Oenothea mensam veterem posuit in medio altari, quam vivis implevit carbonibus, et camellam etiam vetustate ruptam pice temperata refecit. Turn clavum, qui detrahentem secutus cum camella lignea fuerat, L fumoso parieti reddidit. | Mox incincta quadrato pallio cucumam ingentem foco apposuit, simulque pannum de carnario detulit furca, in quo faba erat ad usum L reposita | et sincipitis vetustissima particula mille S02

SATYRICON

"whatever -thou seest in the world is obedient to me. The flowery earth, when I ■will, faints and withers as its juices dry, and, when I will, pours forth its riches, while rocks and rough crags spurt waters wide as the Nile. The great sea lays its waves lifeless before me, and the winds lower their blasts in silence at my feet. The rivers obey me, and Hyrcanian tigers, and serpents, whom I bid stand still. But I will not tell you of small things; the shape of the moon is dra-svn do\vn to me by my spells, and Phoebus trembles and must turn his fiery steeds as I compel him back in his course. So great is the power of words. The flaming spirit of bulls is quenched and calmed by a maiden's rites, and Circe, the child of Phoebus, transfigured Ulysses's crew with magic songs, and Proteus can take what form he will. And I, who am cunning in these arts, can plant the bushes of Moimt Ida in the sea, or set rivers back on lofty peaks."

I shrank in horror from her promised miracles, and 13i> began to look at the old woman more carefully. . . . Now," cried Oenothea, obey my orders I" and she wiped her hands carefully, leaned over the bed, and kissed me once, twice ....

Oenothea put up an old table in the middle of the altar, and covered it with live coals, and repaired a wine-cup that had cracked from age with warm pitch. Then she drove in once more on the smoky wall a nail which had come away •«•ith the wooden wine- cup when she took it down. Then she put on a square cloak, and laid an enormous cooking-pot on the hearth, and at the same time took off the meat-hooks with a fork a bag which had in it some beans put by for use, and some very mouldy pieces of a brain smashed into

303

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

LO plagis dolata. | Ut solvit ergo licio pannum, partem leguminis super mensam efFudit iussitque me dili- genter purgare. Servio ego imperio granaque sordi- dissimis putaminibus vestita curiosa manu segrego. At ilia inertiam meam accusans improba tollit, denti- busque folliculos pariter spoliat atque in terram veluti muscarum imagines despuit . . .

Mirabar equidem paupertatis ingenium singula- rumque rerum quasdam artes :

Non Indum fulgebat ebur, quod inhaeserat auro, nee iam caleato radiabat marmore terra . muneribus delusa suis^ sed crate saligna impositum Cereris vacuae nemus et nova ten-ae pocula^ quae facili vilis rota finxerat actu.^ Hinc molli stillae lacus et de caudice lento vimineae lances maculataque testa Lyaeo. At paries circa palea satiatus inani fortuitoque luto clavos^ numerabat agrestes, et viridi iunco gracilis pendebat harundo. Praeterea quae fumoso suspensa tigillo conservabat opes humilis casa, mitia sorba inter odoratas pendebant texta coronas et thymbrae veteres et passis uva racemis : qualis in Actaea quondam fuit hospita terra, digna sacris Hecales, quam Musa loquentibus annis Battiadae vatis mirandam tradidit aevo . . . 136 Dum ilia carnis etiam paululum delibat . . .

et dum coaequale natalium suorum sinciput in car- narium furca reponit, fracta est putris sella, quae

^actu margin ofL: astu or hastu.

clavos Sambucus : clavus.

304

SATYRICON

a thousand fragments. After unfastening the bag she poured out some of the beans on the table, and told me to shell them carefully. I obeyed orders, and my careful fingers parted the kernels from their dirty covering of shell. But she reproved me for laziness, snatched them up in a hurry, tore off the shells with her teeth in a moment, and spat them on to the ground like the empty husks of flies. . .

I marvelled at the resources of poverty, and the art displayed in each particular. No Indian ivory set in gold shone here, the earth did not gleam with marble now trodden upon and mocked for the gifts she gave, but the grove of Ceres on her holiday was set round with hurdles of willow twigs and fresh cups of clay shaped by a quick turn of the lowly wheel. There was a vessel for soft honey, and Avicker-work plates of pliant bark, and a jar dyed with the blood of Bacchus. And the wall round was covered with light chaff and spattered mud; on it hung rows of rude nails and slim stalks of green rushes. Besides this, the little cottage roofed with smoky beams preserved their goods, the soft service-berries hung entwined in fragrant wreaths, and dried savory and bunches of raisins; such a hostess was here as was once on Athenian soil, worthy of the worship of Hecale,^ of whom the Muse testified for all ages to adore her, in the years when the poet of Cyrene sang.'

While she was having a small mouthful of meat as 136 well, . . . and was replacing the brain, which must have been bom on her own birthday, on the jack >vith her fork, the rotten stool which she was using to increase

Hecale was a poor woman who entertained Theseus. The

poet Calllmachus (a native of Cyrene, founded by Aristotle ofThera, called Battus) wrote a famous epic called after her. X 305

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

staturae altitudinem adiecerat, anumque pondere

suo deiectam super foculum mittit. Frangitur ergo

cervix cucumulae ignemque modo convalescentem

L restinguit. | Vexat cubitum ipsa stipite ardenti |

LO faciemque totam excitato cinere perfundit. Con-

surrexi equidem turbatus anumque non sine risu

erexi . . ,

Ij I Statimque, ne res aliqua sacrifieiuni moraretur, ad

reficiendum ignem in viciniam cueurrit. . . . I Itaque ad casae ostiolum processi ... L0\L 1 cum ecce tres anseres sacri | qui, ut puto medio LO die solebant ab anu diaria exigere, | impetum in me faciunt foedoque ac veluti rabioso stridore circumsistunt trepidantem. Atque alius tunicam meam lacerat, alius vincula calceamentorum resolvil ac trahit; unus etiam^ dux ac magister saevitiae, non dubitavit crus meum serrato vexare morsu. Oblitus itaque nugarum pedem mensulae extorsi coepique pugnacissimum animal armata elidere manu. Nee satiatus defunctorio ictu, morte me anseris vindicavi:

Tales Herculea Stymphalidas arte coactas ad caelum fugisse reor, pennaeque fluentis HarpyiaSj cum Phineo maduere veneno fallaces epulae. Tremuit perterritus aether planctibus insolitis, confusaque regia caeli ... L I lam reliqui revolutam passimque per totum efFusam pavimentum collegerant fabam, orbatique, ut existimo, duce redierant in templum, cum ego praeda simul atque '[hac] vindicta gaudens post lectum occisum anserem mitto vulnusque cruris haud altum aceto 306

SATYRICON

her height broke, and the old woman's weight sent her down on to the hearth. So the neck of the pot broke and put out the fire, which was just getting up. A glowing brand touched her elbow, and her •whole face was covered with the ashes she scattered. I jumped up in confusion and put the old woman straight, not without a laugh. . . . She ran off to her neighbours to see to re\'i\Tng the fire, to prevent anything keeping the ceremony back. ... So I w«nt to thedoor of the house, . . . when all at once three s/icred geese, who I suppose generally demanded their daily food from the old woman at mid-day, made a rush at me, and stood round me while I trembled, cackling horribly like mad things. One tore my clothes, another untied the strings of my sandals and tugged them off; the third, the ringleader and chief of the brutes, lost no time in attacking my leg with his jagged bill. It was no laughing matter: I ■wrenched off a leg of the table and began to hammer the ferocious creature with this weapon in my hand. One simple blow did not content me. I avenged my honour by the death of the goose.

Even so I suppose the birds of Stymphalus fled into the sky when the power of Hercules compelled them, and the Harpies whose reeking wings made the tantalizing food of Phineus run with poison. The air above trembled and shook with unwonted lamen- tation, and the palace of heaven was in an uproar.' . . . The remaining geese had now picked up the beans', which were spilt and scattered all over the floor, and having lost their leader had gone back, I think, to the temple. Then I came in, proud of my prize and my victory, threw the dead goose behind the bed, and bathed the wound on my leg, which was not x2 307

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER diluo. Deinde convicium verens abeundi formavi consilium, collectoque cultu meo ire extra casam coepi. Necdum superaveram^ cellulae limen, cum animad- verto Oenotheam cum testo ignis pleno venientei . Reduxi igitur gradum proiectaque veste,tanquam exspe- etarem morantem, in aditu steti. Collocavit ilia ignem cassis harundinibus collectum, ingestisque super pluri- bus lignis excusare coepit moram, quod arnica se non dimisisset nisi tribus potionibus e lege siccatis. Quid" porro tu" inquit me absente fecisti, aut ubi est faba?" Ego, qui putaveram me rem laude etiam dignam fecisse, ordine illi totum proelium exposui, et ne diutius tristis esset, iactui-ae pensionem anserem

LO obtuli. Quem | anus ut vidit, tam magnum aeque cla- morem sustulit, ut putares iterum anseres limen intrasse. Confusus itaque et novitate facinoris attoni-

137 tus quaerebam, quid excanduisset, aut quare anseris potius quam mei misereretur. At ilia complosis manibus Scelerate" inquit etiam loqueris? Nescis quam magnum flagitium admiseris: occidisti Priapi delicias, anserem omnibus matronis acceptissimum. Itaque ne te putes nihil egisse, si magistratus hoc scierint, ibis in crucem. Polluisti sanguine domieilium meum ante hunc diem inviolatum, fecistique ut me, quisquis voluerit inimicus, sacerdotio pellat." . . . L I " Rogo ' ' inquam "noli clamare : ego tibi pro ansere struthocamelum reddam" . . .

'superaveram Turnebus: libera veram or libaveram. S08

SATYRICON

deep, with vinegar. Then, being afraid of a scolding, I made a plan for getting away, put my things to- gether, and started to leave the house. I had not yet got outside the room, when I saw Oenothea coming with ajar full of live coals. So I drew back and threw off my coat, and stood in the entrance as if I were waiting for her return. She made up a fire which she raised out of some broken reeds, and after heaping on a quantity of wood, began to apologize for her delay, saying that her friend would not let her go until the customary three glasses had been emptied. What did you do while I was away?" she went on, and where are the beans?" Thinking that I had done some- thing which deserved a word of praise, I described the whole of my fight in detail, and to put an end to her depression I produced the goose as a set-off to her losses. When the old woman saw the bird, she raised such a great shriek that you would have thought that the geese had come back into the room again. I was astonished and shocked to find so strange a crime at my door, and I asked her why she had flared up, and why she should be more sorry for the goose than for me. But she beat her hands together 1 37 and said, ' You villain, you dare to speak. Do you not know what a dreadful sin you have committed ? You have killed the darling of Priapus, the goose beloved of all married women. And do not suppose that it is not serious ; if any magistrate finds out, on the cross you go. My house was spotless until to-day, and you have defiled it Avith blood, and you have given any enemy of mine who likes the power to turn me out of my priesthood." . . .

Not such a noise, please," I said; I will give you an ostrich to replace the goose." . . .

S09

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Dum haec me stupente in lectulo sedet anserisque

fatum complorat, interim Proselenos cum impensa

sacrificii venit, visoque ansere occiso sciscitata causam

tristitiae et ipsa flere vehementius coepit meique

misereri, tanquam patrem meum^ non publicum

anserem, occidissem. Itaque taedio fatigatus rogo"

inquam expiare manus pretio liceat . . .

si vos provocassemj etiam si homicidium fecissem.

Ecce duos aureos pono, unde possitis et deos et anseres

emere." Quos ut vidit Oenothea, ignosce" inquit

adulescens, sollicita sum tua causa. Amoris est hoc

argumentum^ non malignitatis. Itaque dabimus ope-

ram^ ne quis sciat. Tu modo deos roga, ut illi facto

tuo ignoscant."

LO 1 Quisquis habet nummos, secura navigat^ aura

fortunamque suo temperat arbitrio.

Uxorem ducat Danaen ipsumque licebit

Acrisium iubeat credere quod Danaen.

Carmina componat, declamet, concrepet omnes

et peragat causas sitque Catone prior.

lurisconsultus parretj non parret" habeto

atque esto quicquid Servius et Labeo.

Multa loquor : quod visj nummis praesentibus opta,

et veniet. Clausum possidet area lovem . . .

L I Infra manus meas camellam vini posuit, et cum

digitos pariter extensos porris apioque lustrasset,

abellanas nuces cum precatione mersit in vinum. Et

sive in summum redierant, sive subsederant, ex hoc

'liceat Dousa : licet.

navigat Vincentius: navjg-et.

810

SATYRICON

I was amazed, and the woman sat on the be3 and wept over the death of the goose, until Proselenos came in with materials for the sacrifice, and seeing the dead bird, inquired why we were so depressed. When she found out she began to weep loudly, too, and to compassionate me as if I had killed my own father instead of a common goose. I grew tired and disgusted, and said, " Please let me cleanse my hands by paying ; it would be another thing if I had insulted you or done a murder. Look, I ^\-ill put do-s^Ti two gold pieces. You can buy both gods and geese for that." WTien Oenothea saw the money, she said, Forgive me, young man, I am troubled on youi account. I am sho^^-ing my love and not my ill-wiU. So we will do our best to keep the secret. But pray the gods to pardon what you have done."

Whoever has money sails in a fair wind, and directs his fortune at his own pleasure. Let him take Danae to wife, and he can tell Acrisius to believe what he told Danae. Let him write poetry, make speeches, snap his fingers at the world, win his cases and outdo Cato. A lawyer, let him have his Proven ' and his 'Not proven,' and be all that Servius and Labeo were. I have said enough : with money about you, wish for what you like and it will come. Your safe has Jupiter shut up in it." . . .

She stood a jar of wine under my hands, and made me stretch all my fingers out, and rubbed them with leeks and parsley, and threw filberts into the wine with a prayer. She drew her conclusions from them according

Sll

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER coniecturam ducebat.^ Nee me fallebat inanes scilicet ac sine medulla ventosas nuces in summo umore consistere, graves autem et plenas integro fructu ad ima deferri . .

Recluso pectore extraxit fartissimum^ iecur et inde mihi futura praedixit.

Immo, ne quod vestigium sceleris superesset, totum anserem laceratum verubus confixit epulasque etiam lautas paulo ante, ut ipsa dicebat, perituro paravit. . . .

Volabant inter haec potiones meracae . . . 138 Profert Oenotliea scorteum fascinum, quod ut oleo et minuto pipere atque urticae trito circumdedit semine, paulatim coepit inserere ano meo. . . .

Hoc crudelissima anus spargit subinde lunore femina mea . . .

Nasturcii sucum cum habrotono miscet perfusisque inguinibus meis viridis urticae fascem comprehendit onuiiaque infra umbilicum coepit lentamanu caedere . . .

Aniculae quamvis solutae mero ac libidine essentj eandem viam tentant et per aliquot vicos secutae fugi- entem Prende furem " clamant. Evasi tamen omnibus digitis inter praecipitem decursum cruentatis . . .

ChrysiSj quae priorem fortunam tuam oderat, banc vel cum periculo capitis persequi destinat" . . .

Quid huic formae aut Ariadne habuit aut Leda simile ? Quid contra banc Helene, quid Venus posset ? Ipse Paris, dearum litigantium^ iudex,si banc in compa-

^hoc Goldast : hac coniecturam ducebat Dousa:

coniectura dicebat.

fartissimum Heinsius: fortissimum.

' litigantium Dousa : libidinantium. SI 2

SATYRICON

as they rose to the top or sank. I noticed that the nuts which were empty and had no kemel,but were filled-vvitb air, stayed on the surface, while the hea\y ones, which were ripe and full, were carried to the bottom. . . .

She cut the goose open, drew out a very fat hver, and foretold the future to me from it. Further, to remove all traces of my crime, she ran the goose right through with a spit, and made quite a fine meal for me, though I had been at death's door a moment ago, as she told me. . . .

Cups of neat wine went swiftly roimd with it . . .

Profert Oenothea scorteum fascinum, quod ut oleo 138 et minuto pipere atque urticae trito circumdedit semine, paulatim coepit inserere ano meo. . . .

Hoc crudehssima anus spargit subinde umore femina mea . . .

Nasturcii sucum cum habrotono miscet perfiisisque inguLnibus meis viridis urticae fascem comprehendit omniaque infra lunbihcum coepit lentamanucaedere . . .

Though the poor old things were silly with drink and passion they tried to take the same road, and pursued me through several streets, crying Stop thief!" But I escaped, with all my toes running blood in my headlong flight. . . .

Chrysis, who despised your lot before, means to follow you now even at peril of her life." . . .

"Ariadne and Leda had no beauty like hers. Helen and Venus -would be nothing beside her. And Paris himself, who decided the quarrel of the goddesses,^ would have made over Helen and the goddesses too to her, if his eager gaze had seen her to co'^ipare

'Paris judged the claims of Hera, Aphrodite and Athena to the golden apple inscribed " To the fairest," which Eris threw among the guests at the wedding of Peleus and Thetis, uid awarded it to Aphrodite. ^ jg

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

ratione vidisset tam petulantibus oculis^ et Helenen

huic donasset et deas. Saltern si permitteretur oscu-

lum capere, si illud caeleste ac divinum pectus

amplecti forsitan rediret hoc corpus ad vires et

resipiscerent partes veneficio, credo, sopitae. Nee me

contumeliae lassant: quod verberatus sum, nescio;

quod eiectus sum, lusum puto. Modo redire in gra-

tiam liceat" . , .

139 Torum frequenti tractatione vexavi, amoris mei

quasi quandam imaginem . . .

Non solum me numen et implacabile fatum

persequitur. Prius Inachia Tirynthius ora

exagitatus onus caeli tulit, ante profanam

Laomedon gemini satiavit numinis iram,

lunonem Pelias sensit, tulit inscius arma

Telephus et regnum Neptuni pavit Vlixes.

Me quoque per terras, per cani Nereos aequor

Hellespontiaci sequitur gravis ira Priapi" . . .

Quaerere a Gitone meo coepi, num aliquis me

quaesisset. Nemo" inquit hodie. Sed hesterno die

mulier quaedam baud inculta ianuam intravit, cumque

diu mecum esset locuta et me accersito sermone las-

sasset, ultimo coepit dicere, te noxam meruisse datu-

rumque serviles poenas, si laesus in querella perseve-

rasset" . . . S14

SATYRICON

with them. If only I were allowed a kiss, or could put my arms round the body that is heaven's own self; ma5'be my body would come back to its strength, and the part of me that is drowsed with poison, I believe, might be itself again. No insult turns me back; I forget my floggings, and I think it fine sp>ort to be flung out of doors. Only let her be kind to me again." ...

I moved imeasily over the bed again and again, as 1 39 if I sought for the ghost of my love ....

I am not the only one whom God and an inexor- able doom pursues. Before me the son of Tiryns was driven from the Inachian shore and bore the burden of heaven, and Laomedon before me satisfied the ominous wrath of two gods.^ Pelias felt Juno's power, Telephus ^ fought in ignorance, and Ulysses was in awe of Neptune's kingdom.^ And me too the hea\-y wrath of Hellespontine Priapus follows over the earth and over the waters of hoary Nereus.' . . .

I began to inquire of Giton whether anyone had asked for me. No one to-day," he said, but yes- terday a rather pretty woman came in at the door, and talked to me for a long while, till I was tired of her forced conversation, and then began to say that you deserved to be hurt and would have the tortures of a slave, if your adversary persisted with his com- plaint." . . .

^He cheated Apollo and Neptune of their wages for building Troy. See Homer, Iliad xxiii, 442 : Horace, Odes, iii. 3.

He was king- of Mysia and fought the Greeks who were

driven ashore in his country on their way to Troy. Achilles wounded him with the miraculous spear of Chiron. (Murray, Euripides, p. 345.)

' The Odyssey is the record of the wanderings of Ulysses by sea.

315

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Nondum querellam finieram, cum Chrysis intervenit amplexuque effusissimo me invasit et Teneo te" inquit qualem speraveram : tu desiderium meum, tu voluptas mea, nunquam finies hunc ignem, nisi san- guine exstinxeris" . . .

Unus ex noviciis servxilis subito accurrit et mihi dominum iratissimum esse affirmavit, quod biduo iam officio defuissem. Recte ergo me facturum, si excusa- tionem aliquam idoneam praeparassem. Vix enim posse fieri, ut rabies irascentis sine verbere consi- deret , . . 140 Matrona inter primas honesta, Philomela nomine, quae multas saepe hereditates officio aetatis extorserat, tum anus et floris exstincti, filium filiamque ingerebat orbis senibus, et per banc successionem artem suam perseverabat extendere. Ea ergo ad Eumolpum venit et commendare liberos suos eius prudentiae bonita- tique . . . credere se et vota sua. Ilium esse solum in toto orbe terrarum, qui praeceptis etiam salubribus instruere iuvenes quotidie posset. Ad summam, relin- quere se pueros in domo Eumolpi, ut ilium loquentem audirent . . . quae sola posset hereditas iuvenibus dari. Necaliter fecit ac dixerat, filiamque speciosissimam cum fratre ephebo in cubiculo reliquit simulavitque se in tem- plum ire ad vota nuncupanda. Eumolpus, qui tam frugi erat ut illi etiam ego puer viderer, non distulit puellam invitare ad pigiciaca^ sacra. Sed et podagricum se esse lumborumque solutorum omnibus dixerat, et si non servasset integram simulationem, periclitabatur totam paene tragoediam evertere. Itaque ut constaret mendacio fides, puellam quidem exoravit, ut sederet super commendatam bonitatem, C.-raci autem impe- ravit, ut lectum, in quo ipse iacebat, subiret positisque

pugesiaca marein of L.

316

SATYRICON

I had not finished grumbling, when Chrysis came in, ran up and warmly embraced me, and said, 'Now I have you as I hoped ; you are my desire, my pleasure, you will never put out this flame unless you quench it in my blood." , . .

One of the new slaves suddenly ran up and said that my master was furious with me because I had now been away from work two days. The best thing I could do would be to get ready some suitable excuse. It was hardly possible that his savage wrath would abate without a flogging for me. . . .

Matrona inter primas honesta, Philomela nomine, 140 quae multas saepe hereditates officio aetatis extorserat, turn anus et floris extincti, filium filiamque ingerebat orbis senibus, et per banc successionem artem suam perseverabat extendere. Ea ergo ad Eumolpum venit et commendare liberos suos eius prudentiae bonita- tique . . . credere se et vota sua. Ilium esse solum in to to or be terrarum, qui praeceptis etiam salubribus instruere iuvenes quotidie posset. Ad sununam, relin- quere se pueros in domo Eumolpi, ut ilium loquentem audirent . . . quae sola posset hereditas iuvenibus dari. Nee aliter fecit ac dixerat, filiamque speciosissimam cum fratre ephebo in cubiculo reliquit Simula vitque se in tem- pi um ire ad vota nuncupanda. Eumolpus, qui tam frugi erat ut ilH etiam ego puer viderer, non distulit puellam invitare ad pigiciaca^ sacra. Sed et podagricum se esse lumborumque solutorum omnibus dixerat, et si non servasset integram simulationem, pericHtabatur totam paene tragoediam evertere. Itaque ut constaret mendacio fides, puellam quidem exoravit, ut sederet super commendatam bonitatem, Coraci autem impe- ravit, ut lectum, in quo ipse iacebat, subiret positisque

817

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

in pavimento manibus dominum lumbis suis conujio- veret. Ille lente^ parebat imperio puellaeque artificium pari motu remunerabat. Cum ergo res ad effectunj spectaret, clara Eumolpus voce exhortabatur Coraca, ut spissaret officium. Sic inter mercennarium anji- camque positus senex veluti oscillatione ludebat. Hoc semel iterumque ingenti risu, etiam suo, Eumolpus fecerat. Itaque ego quoque, ne desidia consuetudinem perderenij dum frater sororis suae automata per clo- stellum miratur, accessi temptaturus, an pateretur iniuriam. Nee se reiciebat a blanditiis doctissimus puer, sed me numen inimicum ibi quoque invenit . . . Dii maiores sunt, qui me restituerunt in integrum. Mercurius enim, qui animas ducere et reducere solet, suis beneficiis reddidit mihi, quod manus irata praeci- derat, ut scias me gratiosiorem esse quam Protesilaum aut quemquam alium antiquorum." Haec locutus sustuli tunicam Eumolpoque me totum approbavi. At ille primo exhorruit, deinde ut plurimum crederet, utraque manu deorum beneficia tractat . . .

"Socrates, deorum hominumque . . ., gloriari solebat, quod nunquam neque in tabernam conspexerat nee ullius turbae frequentioris concilio oculos suos credi- derat. Adeo nihil est commodius quam semper cum sapientia loqui."

"Omnia" inquam ista vera sunt; nee ulli enim celerius homines incidere debent in malam fortunam, quam qui alienum concupiscunt. Unde plani autem, unde levatores viverent, nisi aut locellos aut sonantes acre sacellos pro hamis in turbam mitterent? Sicut muta animalia cibo inescantur, sic homines non cape- rentur nisi spei aliquid morderent" , . .

lente Scioppius : lento.

318

SATYRICON

in pavimento manibus dominum lumbis suis commo- veret. Ille lente parebat imperio puellaeque artificium pari motu remunerabat. Cum ergo res ad effectum spectaret, clara Eumolpus voce exhortabatur Q)raca, ut spissaret officium. Sic inter mercennarium ami- camque positus senex veluti oscillatioue ludebat. Hoc semel iterumque ingentl risu, etiam suo, Eumolpus fecerat. Itaque ego quoque, ne desidia consuetudtnem perderem, dum frater sororis suae automata per clo- stellum miratur^ accessi temptaturus, an pateretur iniuriam. Nee se reiciebat a blanditiis doctissunus puer, sed me numen inimicum ibi quoque invenit . . .

Dii maiores sunt, qui me restituerunt in integrum. Mercurius enim, qui animas ducere et reducere solet, suis beneficiis reddidit mihi, quod manus irata praeci- derat, ut scias me gratiosiorem esse quam Protesilaum ^ aut quemquam alium antiquorum." Haec locutus sustuli tunicam Eumolpoque me totum approbavi. At ille primo exhomiit, deinde ut plurimum crederetj utraque manu deorum beneficia tractat . . .

Socrates, the friend of God and man, used to boast that he had never peeped into a shop, or allowed his eyes to rest on any large crowd. So nothing is more blessed than always to converse with wis- dom."

All that is very true," I said, and no one deserves to fall into misery sooner than the covetous. But how would cheats or pickpockets live, if they did not ex- pose little boxes or purses jingling with money, like hooks, to collect a crowd? Just as dumb creatures are snared by food, human beings would not be caught unless they had a nibble of hope." . . .

' He was allowed to revisit earth after death. See Words- worth's Laodamia.

319

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 141 Ex Africa navis, ut promiseras, cum pecunia tua w

familia non venit. Captatores iam exhausti liberali- tatem imminuerunt. Itaque aut fallor, aut fortuna communis coepit redire ad paenitentiam tuam"^ . . .

Omnes, qui in testamento meo legata habent, praeter libertos meos hac condicione percipient, quae dedi, si corpus meum in partes conciderint et astante populo comederint" . . .

' Apud quasdam gentes scimus adhuc legem servari, ut a propinquis suis consumantur defuncti, adeo qui- dem, ut obiurgentur aegri frequenter, quod carnem suam faciant peiorem. His admoneo amicos meos, ne recusent quae iubeo, sed quibus animis devoverint spiritum meum, eisdem etiam corpus consumant" . . .

Excaecabat pecuniae ingens fama oculos an>mosque .■ miserorum.

Gorgia paratus erat exsequi ... De stomachi tui recusatione non habeo quod timeam. Sequetur imperium, si promiseris illi pro unius horae fastidio multorum bonorum pensationem. Operi mode oculos et finge te non humana viscera sed centies sestertium comesse. Accedit hue, quod aliqua inveniemus blandimenta, quibus saporem mutemus. Neque enim ulla care per se placet, sed arte quadam corrumpitur et stomacho conciliatur averso. Quod si exemplis quoque vis probari consilium, Saguntini oppressi ab Hannibale humanas edere cames, necj

Hu?cs Busch : suam. S20

SATYRICON

The ship from Africa with your money and slaves 141 that you promised does not arrive. The fortune- hunters are tired out, and their generosity is shrinking. So that unless I am mistaken, our usual luck is on its way back to punish you." . . .

All those who come into money under my will, except my o^vn children, will get what I have left them on one condition, that they cut my body in pieces and eat it up in sight of the crowd." . . .

We know that in some countries a law is still observed, that dead people shall be eaten by their relations, and the result is that sick people are often blamed for spoiling their o\m flesh. So I warn my friends not to disobey my orders, but to eat my body as heartily as they damned my soul." . . .

His great reputation for wealth dulled the eyes and brains of the fools. Gorgias was ready to manage the funeral. ...

I am not at all afraid of your stomach tinning. You will get it under control if you promise to repay it for one unpleasant hour with heaps of good things. Just shut your ej'es and dream you are eating up a soUd million instead of human flesh. Besides, we shall find some kind of sauce which will take the taste away. No flesh at all is pleasant in itself, it has to be artificially disguised and reconciled to the unwilling digestion. But if you wish the plan to be supported by precedents, the people of Saguntum/ when Hannibal besieged them, ate human flesh without any legacy in ' Sag^untum fell in 218 B.C. after an eight months' siege. V 321

TirUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

iiereditatem exspectabant. Petelini^ idem fecerunt in ultima fame, nee quicquam aliud in hac epulatione captabant, nisi tantum ne esurirent. Cum esset Numantia a Scipione capta, inventae sunt matres, quae liberorum suorum tenerent semesa in sinu cor- pora" . . .

^Pttelini Puieantts : PetaviL

Sfti

SATYRICON

prospect. The people of Petelia * did likewise in the extremities of famine, and gained nothing by the diet, except of course that they were no longer hungry. And when Numantia was stormed by Scipio,^ some women were found with the half-eaten bodies of their children hidden in their bosoms." . . .

A town in the territory of the Bruttii, who were subdued

by Rome in the 3rd century B.C.

In 133 B.C. after fifteen months' blockade. The fall of the

city established the supremacy of Rome in Spain.

S2S

FRAGMENTA

SeT^ius ad Fergili Aen. Ill 57: auri sacra fames] sacra id est execrabilis. Tractus est autem sermo ex more Gallorum. Nam Massilienses quotiens pesti- lentia laborabant, unus se ex pauperibus ofFerebat alendus anno integro publicis sumptibus et purioribus cibis. Hie postea ornatus verbenis et vestibus sacris eircumducebatur per totam civitatem cum exsecratio- nibus, ut in ipsum reciderent mala totius civitatiSj et sic proiciebatur. Hoc autem in Petronio lectum est

Servius ad Fergili Aen. XII 159 de feminino nominum in TOR exeuntium genere : Si autem a verbo non vene- rint, communia sunt. Nam similiter et masculina et feminina in tor exeunt, ut hie et haec senator, hie et haec balneator, licet Petronius usurpaverit balnea- tricem " dicens

Pseudacro ad Horati epod. 5, ^8 : Canidia rodens pollicem] habitum et motum Canidiae expressit furentis. Petronius ut monstraret furentem, pollice ' ait usque ad periculum roso " 824

FRAGMENTS

Servius on Virgil, Aeneid III, 57 : The sacred hun- ger for gold." Sacred" means accursed." This expression is derived from a Gallic custom. For whenever the people of Massilia were burdened with pestilence, one of the poor would volunteer to be fed for an entire year out of public funds on food of special purity. After this period he would be decked with sacred herbs and sacred robes, and would be led through the whole state while people cursed him, in order that the sufferings of the whole state might fall upon him, and so he would be cast out. This account has been given in Petronius.

Servius on Virgil, Aeneid XII, 159, on the feminine gender of nouns ending in -tor : But if they are not derived from a verb they are common in gender. For in these cases both the masculine and the feminine end alike in -tor, for example, senator, a male or female senator, balneator, a male or female bath attendant, though Petronius makes an exception in speaking of a." bath-woman" {halneatricem).

Ill

Pseud-AcTO on Horace, Epodes 5, Jf.8 : *" Canidia biting her thumb " : He expressed the appearance and movements of Canidia in a rage. Petronius, wishing to portray a furious person, says ' biting his thumb to the quick."

S25

FRAGMENTA

Sidonius Apollinaris carminis XXIII:

quid vos eloquii canam Latinij Arpinas, Patavine, Mantuane? — Et te Massiliensium per hortos sacri stipitis^ Arbiter, colonura Hellespontiaco parem Priapo?

Priscianus institutionum VIII 16 p. 38 1 et XI S9 p. 567 Hertzii inter exempla quihus deponentium verbo- rum participia praeteriti temporis passivam significationem habere declarat : Petronius animam nostro amplexam peetore"

Boethius in Porpkyrium a Victorino translatum dialogo II extremo p. J^5 exemplaiium Basiliensium : Ego faciam, inquit, libentissime. Sed quoniam iam matutinus, ut ait Petronius, sol tectis arrisit, surgamus, et si quid est illud, diligentiore postea consideratione tracta- bitur

Fulgentius mythohgiarum I p. 2S Munckeri : Nescis . . quantum saturam matronae formident. Licet mulierum verbialibus undis et causidici cedant nee grammatici muttiant, rhetor taceat et clamorem praeco compescat, sola est quae modum imponit fiirentibus, licet Petroniana subet Albucia S26

FRAGMENTS

IV Sidonius ApolUnaris Carmen XXIII, llfb, 155 : Why should I hymn you, tuneful Latin ^\Titers, thou of Arpinum, thou of Patavium, thou of Mantua?^ And thou, Arbiter, who in the gardens of the men of Massiha findest a home on the hallowed tree-trunk as the peer of Hellespontine Priapus?

V Priscian Institutiones VIII, 16 and XI, 29 {pp. S81, 567 ed. Hertz) among the examples by which he shows that the past participles of deponent verbs have a passive meaning: Petronius, the soul locked {amplexani) in our bosoms."

yb Boethius on Victorinvs s translation of Porphyry, Dia- logue II (p. 45 ed. Basle) : I shall be very glad to do it, he said. But since the morning sun, in Petronius' s words, has now smiled upon the roofs, let us get up, and if there is any other point, it shall be treated later with more careful attention.

Fulgentius Mythohgiae I (p. 2S ed. Muncker) : You do not know . . . how women dread satire. Lawyers may retreat and scholars may not utter a syllable before the flood of a woman's words, the rhetorician may be dumb and the herald may stop his cries ; satire alone can put a limit to their madness, though it be Petronius's Albucia who is hot.

' The writers are Cicero, Livy, Virgil.

327

FRAGMENTA

vir

Fulgentius mythohgiarum III 8 p. 12J^ ubi sucum myrrhae valde fervidum esse dixit : Unde et Petronius Arbiter ad libidinis concitamentum niyrrhinum se poculum bibisse refert

VIII* Fulgentius in expositione Virgilianae continentiae p. 156: Tricerberi enim fabulam iam superius exposuimus in modum iurgii forensisque litigii positam. Unde et Petronius in Euscion ait "Cerberus forensis erat causidicus"

IX*

Fulgentius in expositione sermonum antiquorum JfZ p. 565 Merceri : Fereulum dicitur missum carnium. Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait postquam fereulum allatum est"

Futgentius ibidem Jf.6 p. 565 : Valgia vero sunt label- loruni obtortiones in supinatione factae. Sicut et Petronius ait obtorto valgiter labello"

XI*

Fuigentius ibidem 52 p. 566: Alucinare dicitur vana somniari, tractum ab alucitis, quos nos conopes dici- mus. Sicut Petronius Arbiter ait nam contubernalem alucitae molestabant" 328

FRAGMENTS

VII

Fulgenttus Mythologiae III, 8 (p. 1^4), {nhere he remarked that essence of myrrh is very strong) : hence too Petronius Arbiter says that he drank a cup qf myrrh in order to excite his passion,

VIII

Fulgenttus in his Treatise on the Contents of FirgiFs works {p. 156) : For we have already explained above the application of the myth of Cerberus -vvith Three Heads to quarrels and litigation in the courts. Hence too Petronius says of Euscios, The barrister was a Cerberus of the courts."

Fulgentius in his Explanation of Old Words, 42 (p. 665 in Mercer s edition) : Ferculum means a dish of flesh. Hence too Petronius Arbiter says. After the dish of flesh {ferculum) was brotight in."

Fulgentius ibid. Jfi (p. 56o) : Valgia really means the twisting of the lips which occurs in vomiting. As Petronius also says, JVith lips twisted as in a vomit {valgiter)."

Fulgentius ibid. 52 (p. 566) : Alucinare means to dream falsely, and is derived from alucitae, which we call conopes (mosquitoes). As Petronius Arbiter says. For the mosquitoes {alucitae) were troubling my com- panion."

S29

FRAGMENTA

XII*

Fulgeniius ibidem 60 p. 567 : Manubiae dicuntur omamenta regum. Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait tot regum manubiae penes fugitivum repertae"

XIII*

Fulgeniius ibidem 61 p. 567: Aumatium dicitur locum secretum publicum sicut in theatris aut in circo. Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait in aumatium memet ipsum conieci"

XIV

Isidorus origi7ium V 26, 7 : Dolus est mentis calliditas ab eo quod deludat: aliud enim agit, aliud simulat. Petronius aliter existimat dicens quid estj iudices, dolus ? Nimirum ubi aliquid factum est quod legi dolet. Habetis dolum: accipite nunc malum"

Glossarium S. Dionysti: Petaurus genus ludi. Petro- nius petauroque iubente modo superior."

XVI Petronius satis constaret eos nisi inclinatos nc sol ere transire cryptam Neapolitanam " ex glossario Dionysti.

XVII*^ In alio glossario :

Suppes suppumpis, hoc est supinis pedibus. Tullia, media vel regia.

'Wrong-ly attributed to Petronius by Pithoeus througl misunderstanding a marginal note of Scaliger.

330

FRAGMENTS

XII

Fulgentius ibid. 60 (p. 567) : Manubiae means the ornaments of kings. Hence Petronius Arbiter also saySj " So many kingly ornaments (manubiae) found in the possession of a runaway."

XIII

Fulgentius ibid. 61 {p. 567) : Aumatium means a private place in a public spot such as theatres or the circus. Hence Petronius Arbiter also saySj ' I hurled myself into the privy-place {aumatium)."

XIV

Isidorus Origines V, 26, 7 : Dolus^ is the mental cunning on the part of the deceiver : for he does one thing and pretends another. Petronius takes a dif- ferent \iew when he says, ' What is a wrong (dolus), gentlemen ? It occurs whenever anything offensive to the law is done. You understand what a wrong is : nam take damage . . ." ^y

Glossary of St. Dionysius: The spring-board is a kind of game. Petronius, Now lifted high at the will of the spring-board."

XVI

From the Glossary of St. Dionysius : Petronius, It was quite certainly their usual plan to go through the Grotto of Naples only with backs bent double."

Another Glossary :

Suppes suppumpis, that is with feet bent backwards. TuUia, mediator (f) or princess.

' Dolus originally meant a device without moral connota- tion ; hence the legal term for fraud was dolus malus, and the use of dolus alone in a bad sense is later.

331

FRAGMENTA

XVIII*

Nicoians Perottus Comu copiae p. 200, 26 editionis Aldinae anni 1513: Cosmus etiam excellens unguen- tarius fuit, a quo unguenta dicta sunt Cosmiana. idem {^luvenalis 8, 86\ "et Cosmi toto mergatur aheno." Petronius affer nobis, inquit, alabastrum Cosmiani"

XIX

Terentianus Maurus de metris: Horatium videmus versus tenoris huius nusquam locasse iuges, at Arbiter disertus libris suis frequentat. Agnoscere haec potestis, cantare quae solemus : Memphitides puellae sacris deum paratae. Tinctus colore noctis manu puer loquaci" Marius Victorinus III 17 (in Keilii grammaticis VI p. ISS) : Huius tenoris ac formae quosdam versus poetas lyricos carminibus suis indidisse cognovimus, ut et apud Arbitrum invenimus, cuius exemplum Memphitides puellae sacris deum paratae." Tinctus colore noctis Aegyptias choreas" 332

FRAGMENTS

XVIII

Nicolaus Perottus in the Cornucopia {p. 200, 26 in the Aldine Edition of 1513) : Cosmus too was a superb perfumer, and ointments are called Cosmian after him. The same writer (Juvenal 8, 86) says, " and let him be plunged deep in a bronze vase of Cosmus." Petronius, Bring us, he said, an alabaster box o^ Cosmus ointment."

XIX

Terentianus Maunis on Metre :

We see that Horace nowhere employed verse of this rhj-thm continuously, but the learned Arbiter uses it often in his works. You will remember these lines, which we are used to sing : The maidens of Memphis, made ready for the rites of the Gods. The boy wloured deep as the night with speaking gestures."

Marius Victorinus III, 17{Keil, Grammatici, VI,1S8):

We know that the lyric poets inserted some lines of

this rhythm and form in their works, as we find too

in Arbiter, for example : ' The maidens of Memphis,

made ready for the rites of the Gods," and again

Coloured deep as the night, [dancing] Egyptian dances."

333

FRAGMENTA

Terentianus Maurus de metris :

Nunc divisiOj quam loquemur, edet metrum, quo memorant Anacreonta dulces composuisse cantilenas. Hoc Petronius invenitur usus, Musis cum lyricum refert eundem consonantia verba cantitasse, et plures alii. Sed iste versus quali compositus tome sit, edam.

luverunt segetes meum laborem." "luverunt" caput est id hexametri — quod restat " segetes meum laborem," tale est ceu " triplici vides ut ortu Triviae rotetur ignis volucrique Phoebus axe rapidum pererret orbem"

XXI

Diomedes in arte III p. 518 Keilii: Et illud hinc est comma quod Arbiter fecit tale "Anus recocta vino trementibus labellis"

XXII

Servius in artem Donati p. ^32, 22 KeiUi: Item Qui- rites dicit numero tantum plurali, Sed legimus apud Horatium hunc Quiritem, ut sit nominativus hie 334

FRAGMENTS

Terentianus Maurus on Metre :

Now the analysis, which we will explain, will give us the metre in which they say that Anacreon wTote his sweet old songs. We find that Petronius, as well as many others, used this metre, when he says that this same lyric poet sang in words harmonious to the Muses. But I will explain with what kind of caesura this verse is written. In the line luverunt segetes meum lahorem" ( The comjields have lightened my labour "\ the word iuvenmt" is the beginning of a hexameter : the remaining words segetes meum laborem " are in the same metre as

trip lid vides ut ortu

Triviae rotetur ignis

volucrique Phoebus axe

rapidum pererret orbem " {" You see how the fire of Trivia spins round from her threefold rising,^ and Phoebus on his winged wheel traverses the hurrying globe ".)

XXI

Diomede on Grammar III {Keilp. 518) : Hence arises the caesura which Arbiter employed thus : 'Anus recocta vino trementibus labelUs" ( An old woman soaked in wine, with trembling lips")

XXII

Servius on the Grammar of Donatus (Keil p. 432, 22) : Again, he uses Quirites" ( Roman citizens") only in the plural number. But we read in Horace the accusa- tive hunc Quiritem" ( this Roman citizen") making 'I.e. as the new, the full, or the waaing- moon.

.S35

FRAGMENTA

Quiris. Item idem Horatius quis teQuiritem?" cuius nominativus erit hie Quirites, ut dicit Petronius

Pompeius in commento artis Donatip. 167, 9 K : Nemo dicit hie Quirites" sed hi Quirites," licet legeri- mus hoc. Legite in Petronio, et invenietis de nomi- nativo singulari hoc factum. Et ait Petronius "hie Quirites "

XXIII

grammaticus de dubiis nominibtis p. 578,23 K : Fretum generis neutri et pluraliter freta, ut Petronius "freta Nereidum"

XXIV*

Hieronymus in epistula ad Demetriadem CXXX 19 p. 995 Vallarsii : Cincinnatulos pueros et calamistratos et peregrini muris olentes pelliculas, de quibus illuc Arbitri est

Non bene olet qui bene semper olet/' quasi quasdam pestes et venena pudicitiae virgo devitet

XXV*

Fulgentins mythologiarum. II 6 p. 80 de Prometheo: Quamvis Nicagoras . . . quod vulturi iecur praebeat, livoris quasi pingat imaginem. Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait

"qui voltur iecur intimum pererrat et pectus trahit intimasque fibras, non est quern lepidi vocant poetae, sed cordis mala, livor atque luxus"

FRAGMENTS

thf nominative ' hie Quiris." Again, the same Horace says "Quis te Quiritem ? " and there the nominative will be "hie Qimites," as Petronius says. Pompeius in his Commentary on the Art of Donatus {Keil p. 167, 9): No one says "this Roman citizen," but ' these Roman citizens," although we find the former in books. Read Petronius, and you will find this use of the nominative singular. And Petronius says "Hie Quirites" (^' this Roman citizen)."

XXIII

A Grammarian on Nouns of uncertain gender {Keil p. 378, 23): Fretum ("a strait") is of the neuter gender, and its plural is freta, as Petronius says ' Freta Nei-eidum" {"The straits of the Nereids").

XXIV

Hieronymus in his Letter to Demetriades CXXX, 19 {Vallarsius p. 995): Boys with hair curled and crimped and skins smelling like foreign musk-rats, about whom Arbiter wrote the line, ' To smell good aln-ays is not to smell good," ^ shomng how the virgin may avoid certain plagues and poisons of modesty.

XXV

Fulgentius Mythologiae II, 6 {p. 80, on Prometheus) : Although Nicagoras . . . represents his yielding his liver to a vulture, as an allegorical picture of envy. Hence too Petronius Arbiter says : The vulture who explores our inmost liver, and drags out our heart and inmost nerves, is not the bird of whom our dainty poets talk, hut those diseases of the soul, envy and wantonness."

'The line occurs in Martial 2, I2, 4. The reference to Petronius may be due to a confusion with ch. 2, 1. I.

z 337

POEMS

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

INTRODUCTION

Of the poems which follow, 1-17 are found in the cod. Vossianus L. Q. 86, a MS. of the 9th century. They follow a number of epigrams attributed to Seneca and are not attributed by the MS. to Petronius. But 3, 1 and 1 2, 6-9 are quoted by Fulgentius (myth. I, 1, p. 31 and III, 9, P- 126) as from Petronius, while the general resemblance to Petronius led Scaliger to attribute the remainder to the same author. Though absolute proof of the correctness of this atti'ibution is lacking, most readers will feel little doubt that Scaliger was right.

1 8-29^ were contained in a MS. once at Beauvais and now lost. The contents of this codex Bellovacensis were published by Claude Binet in 1579. The last two poems were not, according to Binet, given to Petro- nius by the MS., and I have included them with some hesitation. But as Binet saw, the resemblance to the style and tone of Petronius is considerable, and they are therefore given here. The six poems which followed in this MS. are given by Baehrens (P.L.M. iv. 103-8) to Petronius. But they have no particular affinity with the work of Petronius, and as they have inserted among them in Binet's book a number of poems which are admittedly by Luxorius (see Baehrens, op. cit. App. Crit. on P.L.M. iv. 104), they are not included here.

'No. 20 is also contained in cod. Paris, 10318 (Salma- sianus), cod. Vossianus, L.Q. 86, cod. Paris, 8071 (Thua- oeus). 840

POEMS

The remaining two poems are found in cod. Vos- sianus L.F. ] 11, a MS. of the 9th century. They are attributed to Petronius by the MS., and follow two poems found in the MSS of the novel (c. 14 and c. 83). Their general resemblance would betray their authorship.

For a discussion of these MSS. see Baehrens, Poetae Latini Minores, vol. iv, pp. 11, 13 and 19- Also p. 36 ff.

SIGLA Cod. Voss. L.Q. 86=r. Cod. Bellovacensis = W. Cod. Voss. L.F. lll=i:

H.E.B.

S41

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

74 Poet. Lat. Min. iv, ed. Baehrens.

1 Inveniet quod quisque velit: non omnibus unum est

quod placet: hie spinas colligit, ille rosas.

75 P.L.M.

2 lam nunc algentes autumnus fecerat umbras^ atque hiemem tepidis spectabat Phoebus habenis, iam platanus iactare comas, iam coeperat uvas adnumerare suas defecto palmite vitis:

ante oculos stabat quidquid promiserat annus.

76 P.L.M.

3 Primus in orbe deos fecit timor, ardua caelo fulmina cum caderent discussaque moenia flammis atque ictus flagraret Athos; mox Phoebus ab ortu^ lustrata deuectus humo, Lunaeque senectus

et reparatus honos; hinc signa efFusa per orbem et permutatis disiunctus mensibus annus. Profecit^ vitium iamque error iussit inanis agricolas primos Cereri dare messis honores, palmitibus plenis Bacchum vincire, Palemque pastorum gaudere manu ; natat obrutus omnis Neptunus demersus aqua ; Pallasque tabernas vindicat; et voti reus et qui vendidit orbem/ iam sibi quisque deos avido certamine fingit.

77 P.L.M.

4 Nolo ego semper idem capiti sufFundere costum

nee noto^ stomachum conciliare mero. ' algentes , . . fecerat Baehrens: ardentes . . . fregerat V, ^ab ortu Butler: ad ortus K ^ prof ecit anon : proiecit V.

natat obrutus probably corrupt: portus tenet Buecheler.

orbem perhaps corrupt : orbam Barih : urbem Pithoeus

note Paulmier : toto V.

S42

POEMS

Every man shall find his own desire ; there is no 1 one thing which pleases all : one man gathers thorns and another roses.

Now autumn had brought its chill shades, and 2 Phoebus was looking winterwards with cooler reins. Now the plane-tree had begun to shed down her leaves, now the young shoots had withered on the vine, and she had begun to number her grapes : the whole promise of the year was standing before our eyes.

It was fear first created gods in the world, when the 3 lightning fell from high heaven, and the ramparts of the world were rent with flame, and Athos was smitten and blazed. Soon 'twas Phoebus sank to earth, after he had traversed earth from his rising ; the Moon grew old and once more renewed her glory ; next the starry signs were spread through the firmament, and the year divided into changing seasons. The folly spread, and soon vain superstition bade the labourer yield to Ceres the harvest's chosen firstfrnits, and garland Bacchus >vith the fruitful vine, and made Pales to rejoice in the shepherd's work ; Neptune swims deep- plunged beneath all the waters of the world, Pallas watches over shops, and the man who wins his prayer or has betrayed the world for gold now strives greedily to create gods of his own.

I would not always steep my head with the same 4 sweet nard, nor strive to win my stomach with familiar

S43

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Taurus amat gramen mutata carpere valle et fera mutatis sustinet ora cibis.

Ipsa dies ideo nos grato perluit haustu, quod permutatis hora recurrit equis.

78 P.L.M.

5 Uxor, legis onus/ debet quasi census amari.

nee censum vellem semper amare meuna.

79 P.L.M.

Linque tuas sedes alienaque litora quaere,

o ^ iuvenis : maior rerum tibi nascitur ordo.

Ne succumbe malis : te noverit ultimus Hister,

te Boreas gelidus securaque regna Canopi,

quique renascentem Phoebum cernuntque cadentem;

maior in externas fit qui^ descendit harenas.

80 P.L.M.

Nam nihil est, quod non mortalibus afferat usum ;

rebus in adversis quae iacuere iuvant. Sic rate demersa fulvum deponderat aurum,

remorum levitas naufraga membra vehit. Cum sonuere tubae, iugulo stat divite ferrum

barbaricum : tenuis praebia pannus habet.*

legis onus Baehrens : inus V.

^o added by Scaliger, omitted hy V. ' fit qui Baehrens : itacui V.

barbaricum Baehrens : tenuis Butler: praebia Baehrens :

barbara contempnit praelia F., retaining which hebes for hab^t Scaliger.

344

POEMS

wine. The bull loves to change his valley-pasture, and the wild beast maintains his zest by change of food. Even to be bathed in the light of day is pleasant only because the night-hour races back with altered steeds.

A wife is a burden imposed by law, and should be 5 loved like one's fortune. But I do not wish to love even my fortime for ever.

Leave thine home, O youth, and seek out alien 6 shores : a larger range of life is ordained for thee. Yield not to misfortxme ; the far-off Danube shall know thee, the cold North- wind, and the untroubled kingdoms of Canopus, and the men who gaze on the new birth of Phoebus or upon his setting : he that disembarks on distant sands, becomes thereby the greater man

For there is naught that may not serve the need of 7 mortal men, and in adversitj' despised things help us. So when a ship sinks, yellow gold weighs down its possessor, whUe a flimsy oar bears up the shipwrecked body, ^^1len the trumpets sound, the savage's knife stands drawn at the rich man's throat; the poor man's rags wear the amulet of safety.

345

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

81 P.L.M.

8 Parvula securo tegitur mihi culmine sedes uvaque plena mero fecunda pendet ab ulmo. Dant rami cerasos^ dant mala rubentia silvae, Palladiumque nemus pingui se vertice frangit. lam qua diductos potat levis area fontes, Coryeium mihi surgit olus maluaeque supinae et non solTicitos missura papavera somnos. Praeterea sive alitibus eontexere fraudem seu magis imbelles libuit circumdare cervos aut tereti lino pavidum subducere piseem, hos tantum novere dolos mea sordida rura. I nunc et vitae fugientis tempora vende divitibus cenis. Me si manet exitus idem, hie precor inveniat consumptaque tempora poscat

82 P.L.M.

9 Non satis est quod nos mergit^ furiosa inventus

transversosque rapit fama sepulta probris? En^ etiam famuli cognataque faece caterva^

inter conrasas luxuriantur opes.* Vilis servus habet regni bona, cellaque capti

deridet Vestam Romuleamque casam. Idcirco virtus medio iacet obruta caeno,

nequitiae classes Candida vela ferunt.

83 P.LM.

1 Sic et membra solent auras includere ventris,* quae penitus mersae cum rursus abire laborant,

• mergis V. corr. Buecheler. 2 en L. Miiller: an V. 'caterva Baehrens: sepulti V.

inter conrasas Baehrens : intesta merassas V.

" ventis V., corr. Rieic.

346

POEMS

My little house is covered by a roof that fears no 8 harm, and the grape swollen with vrine hangs from the fruitful elm. The boughs yield cherries, the orchards ruddy apples, and the trees sacred to Pallas' break under the wealth of their branches. And now where the smooth soil drinks from the runnels of the spring, Corycian kale springs up for me and creeping mallows, and the poppy with promise of untroubled sleep. Moreover, if my pleasure is to lay snares for birds, or if I choose rather to entrap the timid deer, or draw out the quivering fish on slender line, so much deceit is all that is known to my humble fields. Go, then, and barter the hours of flying life for rich banquets. My prayer is that since at the last the same end waits for me, it may find me here, here call me to account for the time that I have spent.

Is it not enough that mad youth engulfs us, and 9 our good name is sunk in reproach and sweeps us astray ? Behold ! even bondmen and the rabble that is kindi'ed to the mire wanton amid our gathered hoards! The low slave enjoys the treasure of a king- dom, and the thrall's room shames Vesta and the cot- tage of Romulus. So goodness lies obscured in the deep mud, and tiie fleet of the unrighteous carries snowy sails.

So, too, the body will shut in the belly's wind, 10 which, when it labours to come forth again from its deep dungeon, prizes forth a way by sharp blows : and

'The olive, which she gave to Athens. By this gift, which the Gods considered more useful than the horse given by Poseidon, she became the presiding deity of the city.

S47

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

verberibus rimantur iter ; nee desinit ante frigidus, adstrictis^ qui regnat in ossibus, hon-or quam tepidus laxo manavit corpora sudor.

84 P.L.M.

1 1 O litus vita mihi dulcius^ o mare ! felix

cui licet ad terras ire subinde meas ! O formosa dies! hoc quondam rure solebara

Naiadas ' alterna sollicitare manu ! Hie fontis lacus est, illic sinus egerit algas :

haec statio est tacitis fida^ cupidinibus. Pervixi ; neque enim fortuna malignior unquam

eripiet nobis quod prior hora* dedit.

85 P.L.M.

12 Haec ait et tremulo deduxit vertice canos consecuitque genas ; oculis nee defuit imber, sed qualis rapitur per vallis improbus amnis, cum gelidae periere nives et languidus auster non patitur glaciem resoluta vivere terra, gurgite sic pleno facies manavit et alto insonuit gemitu turbato murmure pectus.

86 P.L.M.

13 Nam citius flammas mortales ore tenebunt quam secreta tegant. Quicquid dimittis in aula, effluit et subitis rumoribus oppida pulsat.

Nee satis est vulgasse fidem. Cumulatius exit proditionis opus famamque onerare laborat

'et frigidus strictis V., corr. Reiske. » Naiadas Lindenbrog : Iliadas V. alterna . . . manu B armatas . . . manus V. » fida Pithoeus : victa V.

prior hora Scaliger : priora V.

348

POEMS

there is no end to the cold shiver which rules the cramped frame, till a warm sweat bedews and loosens the body.

O sea-shore and sea more sweet to me than life ! 1 1 Happy am I who may come at once to the lands I love. O beauteous day ! In this country long ago I used to rouse the ' Naiads with my hands' alternate stroke. Here is the fountain's pool, there the sea washes up its weeds : here is a sure haven for quiet love. I have had life in full ; for never can harder fortune take away what was given us in time over- past.

With these words he tore the white hair from his 12 trembling head, and rent his cheeks; his eyes filled with tears, and as the impetuous river sweeps down the valleys when the cold snow has perished, and the gentle south-wind will not suffer the ice to live on the unfettered earth, so was his face wet with a full stream, and his heart rang with the troubled murmur of deep groaning.

For sooner will men hold fire in their mouths than 1 3 keep a secret. Whatever you let escape you in your hall flows forth and beats at city walls in sudden rumours. Nor is the breach of faith the end. The work of betrayal issues forth with increase, and strives

S49

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Sic commissa verens avidus reserare^ minister _

fodit humum regisque latentes prodidit aures. fl

Concepit nam terra sonos calamique loquentes incinuere^ Midam, qualem narraverat index.

87 P.L.M.

1 4 Illie alternis depugnat pontus et aer,

hie rivo tenui pervia ridet humus. lUic demersas^ complorat navita puppes,

hie pastor miti perluit amne peeus. ■

Illie immanes mors obdita* solvit hiatus, 1

hie gaudet curva falee reeisa Ceres. Illie inter aquas urit sitis arida fauees,

hie data periuro^ basia multa viro. Naviget et fluetus lasset mendieus Vlixes,

in terris vivet eandida Penelope.

88 P.L.M.

1 5 Qui nolit properare ^ mori nee cogere fata

mollia praeeipiti rumpere fila manu, haetenus irarum mare noverit. Ecce refuse

gurgite securos obluit unda pedes. Ecce inter virides iactatur mytilus algas

et rauco trahitur lubrica concha sinu. Ecce recurrentes qua versat fluetus arenas,

discolor attrita calculus exit humo. Haec quisquis calcare potest^ in litore tuto ludat et hoc solum iudicet esse mare. ' verens reserare Fulgentius : ferens . . . seruare V>. ^ incinuere Salmasius : inuenerem V. ^deinersas Baehrens: divisas V,

obd'ita Baekrens : oblita V.

' data Wernsdorf: da V. periuro probably corrupt : per- haps quaeque suo Butler.

•nolit Oudendorp: moluitF. properare 7b//»M5; prepare V,

350

POEMS

CO add weight to the report. So was it that the greedy slave, who feared to unlock his knowledge, dug in the ground and betrayed the secret of the king's hidden ears. For the earth brought forth sounds, and the whispering reeds sang how Midas was even such an one as the tell-tale had revealed.

There sea and sky struggle and buffet each other, 1 4 here the tiny stream runs through smooth and smiling country. There the sailor laments for his sunken ship, here the shepherd dips his flock in the gentle river. There death confronts and chokes the vast gape of greed, here the earth laughs to lie low before the curved sickle. There, with water everywhere, dry thirst bums the throat, here kisses are given in plenty to faithless man. Let Ulysses go sail and weary the waters in beggar's rags : the chaste Penelope dwells on land.

The man that would not haste to die, nor force the 1 5 Fates to snap the tender threads with impetuous hand, should know only this much of the sea's anger. Lol where the tide flows back, and the wave bathes his feet without peril ! Lo I where the mussel is thrown up among the green sea-weed, and the hoarse whorl of the slippery shell is rolled along ! Lo ! where the wave turns the sands to rush back in the eddy, there pebbles of many a hue appear on the wave- worn floor. Let the man who may have these things under his feet, play safely on the shore, and count this alone to be the sea.

351

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

89 P.L.M.

1 6 Non est forma satis nee quae vult bella videri

debet vulgari more placere sibi. Dicta, sales, lusus, sermonis gratia, risus

vincunt naturae candidioris opus. Condit enim formam quicquid consumitur artis,

et nisi velle ^ subest, gratia nuda perit.

90 P.L.M.

17 Sic contra rerum naturae munera notae

corvus maturis frugibus ova refert. Sic format lingua fetum cum protulit ursa

et piscis nullo iunctus amore parit. Sic Phoebea chelys nutu^ resoluta parentis

Lucinae tepidis naribus ova fovet. Sic sine concubitu textis apis excita ceris

fervet et audaci milite castra replet. Non uno contenta valet natura tenore,

sed permutatas gaudet habere vices.

91 P.L.M.

1 8 Indica purpureo genuit me litore tellus,

candidus accenso qua redit orbe dies. Hie ego divinos inter geueratus honores

mutavi Latio barbara verba sono. lam dimitte tuos. Paean o Delphice, cycnos:

dignior haec vox est, quae tua templa colat.

• The first couplet is to be found in Fulgentius, Myth. I, i2,

p. 44.

2 velle subest probably corrupt: sal suberit Baehrens. »nutu Butler: victo W: viiiclo Binetus.

852

POEMS

Outward beauty is not enough, and the woman who 1 6 would appear fair must not' be content with any com- mon msftmer. Words, wit, play, sweet talk and laugh- ter, surpass the work of too simple nature. For all expense of art seasons beauty, and naked loveliness is wasted all in vain, if it have not the will to please.

So, contrary to the known operations of nature, the 1 7 raven lays her eggs when the crops are ripe. So the she-bear shapes her cubs with her tongue, and the fish is ignorant of love's embrace, yet brings forth young. So the tortoise, sacred to Phoebus, delivered by the "will of mother Lucina, hatches her eggs with the warmth of her nostrils. So the bee, begotten without wedlock from the woven cells, throbs Avith life and fills her camp with bold soldiery. The strength of nature lies not in holding on one even way, but she loves to change the fashion of her laws.

My^ birthplace was India's glowing shore, where the 1 8 day returns in brilliance with fiery orb. Here I was bom amid the worship of the gods, and exchanged my barbaric speech for the Latin tongue. O healer of Delphi, now dismiss thy swans ; here is a voice more worthy to dwell within thy temple.

^ A parrot is speaking^. AA S5S

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

92 P.L.M. 1 9 Naufragus electa nudus rate quaerit eodem

percussum telo^ cui sua fata fleat.^ Grandine qui segetes et totum perdidit annum,

in simili deflet tristia fata sinu. Funera conciliant miseros, orbique parentes

coniungunt gemitus et facit hora pares. Nos quoque confusis feriemus sidera verbis ;

fama est coniunctas^ fortius ire preces.

93 P.L.M.

20 Aurea mala mihi, dulcis mea Martia^ mittis,

mittis et hirsutae munera castaneae. Omnia grata putem, sed si magis ipsa venire

ornares donum, pulcra puella, tuum. Tu licet apportes stringentia mala palatum,

tristia mandenti est melleus ore sapor. At si dissimulas, multum mihi cara, venire,

oscula cum pomis mitte ; vorabo libens.

94 RL.M.

21 Si Phoebi soror es, mando tibi, Delia, causam,

scilicet ut fratri quae peto verba feras : "Marmore Sicanio struxi tibi, Delphice, templum

et levibus calamis Candida verba dedi. Nunc si nos audis atque es divinus, Apollo,

die mihi, qui nummos non habet, unde petat."

Reait Jacobs: legat W.

fama est coniunctas Butler : et fama est constans W.

S54

POEMS

The sailor, naked from the shipwreck, seeks out a 19 comrade stricken by the same blow to whom he may bewaU his fate. The farmer who has lost his crops and the whole year's fruits in the hail, weeps his sad lot on a bosom wounded like his ovm. Death draws the unhappy together ; bereaved parents utter their groans with one voice^ and the moment makes them equal. We too will strike the stars with words in unison; the saying is that prayers travel more strongly when imited.

You send me golden apples, my sweet Martia, and 20 you send me the fruit of the shaggy chestnut. Believe me, I would love them all; but should you choose rather to come in person, lovely girl, you would beautify .your gift. Come, if you will, and lay sour apples to my tongue, the sharp flavour will be like honey as I bite. But if you feign you will not come, dearest, send kisses with the apples ; then gladly will I devour them.

If you are sister to Phoebus, Delia, I entrust my 21 petition to you, that you may carry to your brother the words of my prayer, God of Delphi, I have built for you a temple of Sicilian marble, and have given you fair words of song from a slender pipe of reed. Now if you hear us, Apollo, and are indeed divine, tell me where a man who has no money is to find it."

aa2 555

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

95 P.LM. 22 Omnia quae miseras possunt finire querellas,

in promptu voluit candidus esse deus. Vile holus et duris haerentia mora rubetis

pungentis^ stomachi composuere famem. Flumine vicino stultus sitit, et riget^ euro

cum calidus tepido consonat igne focus^ Lex armata sedet circum fera limina nuptae :

nil metuit licito fusa puella toro. Quod satiare potest dives natura ministrat;

quod docet infrenis* gloria fine caret.

96 P.L.M.

23 Militis in galea nidum fecere columbae: apparet Marti quam sit amica Venus.

97 P.L.M.

44 ludaeus licet et porcinum numen adoret et caeli summas advocet auriculas,

ni tamen et ferro succiderit inguinis oram et nisi nodatum solvent arte caput,

exemptus populo sacra^ migrabit ab urbe et non ieiuna sabbata lege premet.^

98 P.L.M.

25 Una est nobilitas argumentumque colons ingenui timidas non habuisse manus.

' pungentis Dousa : pugnantis W, 2 et riget Binet : effugit W.

focus Buecheler : rogus W.

infrenis Btnei : inferius W.

^ sacra. Bae/irens : graia W.

•premet W., perhaps corrupt : tremet Buecheler.

i56

POEMS

Honest Heaven ordained that all things which can 22 end our wretched complaints should be ready to hand. Common green herbs and the berries that grow on rough brambles allay the gnawing hunger of the belly. A fool is he who goes thirsty with a river close by, and shivers in the east wind while a blazing fire roars on the warm hearth. The law sits armed by the threshold of a wanton bride ; the girl who lies on a lawful bed knows no fear. The wealth of nature gives us enough for our fill: that which unbridled vanity teaches us to pursue has no end to it.

Doves have made a nest in the soldier's helmet : 2S see how Venus loveth Mars.

The Jew may worship his pig-god and clamour in 24 the ears of high heaven, but unless he also cuts back his foreskin with the knife, he shall go forth from the holy city cast forth from the people, and transgress the sabbath by breaking the law of fasting.

This is the one nobility and proof of honourable 25 estate, that a man's hands have shown no fear.

S57

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITEH

99 RL.M.

26 Lecto compositus vix prima silentia noctis

carpebam et somno lumina victa dabam^ cum me savus Amor prensat^ sursumque capillis

excitat et lacerum pervigilare iubet. Tu famulus meus/' inquit, ames cum mille puellas,

solus, io, solus, dure, iacere potes?" Exsilio et pedibus nudis tunieaque soluta

omne iter ingredior,^ nullum iter expedio. Nunc propero, nunc ire piget, rursumque redire

paenitet, et pudor est stare via media. Ecce tacent voces hominum strepitusque viarum

et volucrum cantus fidaque turba canum; solus ego ex cunctis paveo somnumque torumque,

et sequor imperium, magne Cupido, tuum.

100 P.L.M.

27 Sit nox ilia diu nobis dilecta, Nealce,

quae te prima meo pectore composuit : sit torus et lecti genius secretaque lampas,^

quis tenera in nostrum veneris arbitrium. Ergo age duremus, quamvis adoleverit aetas,

utamurque annis quos mora parva teret. Fas et iura sinunt veteres extendere amores ;

fac cito quod coeptum est, non cito desinere.

101 RL.M.

28 Foeda est in coitu et brevis voluptas et taedet Veneris statim peractae. Non ergo ut pecudes libidinosae caeci protinus irruamus illuc

(nam languescit amor peritque flamma) ; ' prensat Oudendorp : prensum W, ^ ingredior Riese : impedio W^

lampas Buecheler : longa W,

358

POEMS

At rest in bed, I had scarce begun to enjoy the first 26 silence of night, and to give up my conquered eyes to sleep, when fierce Love took hold of me and drew me up by the hair, and tore me, bidding me watch till day. Ah, my slave," he said, "thou lover of a thousand girls, canst thou lie alone here, alone, oh hard of heart?" I leaped up, and with bare feet and disordered raiment started on every path and found a way by none. Now I run, now to move is weariness: I repent of turning back, and am ashamed to halt in the midst of the road. Lo, the voices of men and the roar of the streets, the singing of birds and the faith- fill company of watchdogs are all silent. I alone of all men dread both sleep and my bed, and follow thy command, great Lord of desire.

Long may that night be dear to us, Nealce, that 27 first laid you to rest upon my heart. Dear be the bed and the genius of the couch, and the silent lamp that saw you come softly to do our pleasure. Come, then, let us endure though we have gro^vn older, and employ the years which a brief delay will blot out It is lawful and right to prolong an old love : grant that what we began in haste may not hastily be ended.

The pleasure of the act of love is gross and brief, 28 and love once consummated brings loathing after it. Let us then not rush blindly thither straightway like lustful beasts, for love sickens and the flame dies down ; but even so, even so, let us keep eternal holi-

859

riTUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

sed sic sic sine fine feriati

et tecum iaceamus osculantes.

Hie nullus labor est ruborque nullus ;

hoc iuvit, iuvat et diu iuvabit ;

hoc non deficit incipitque semper.

102 P.L.M.

29 Accusare et amare tempore uno ipsi vix fuit Herculi ferendum.

120 P.L.M.

30 Fallunt nos oculi vagi que sensus oppressa ratione mentiuntur.

Nam turris prope quae quadrata surgit, detritis pi'ocul angulis rotatur. Hyblaeum refugit satur liquorem et naris casiam frequenter odit. Hoc illo magis aut minus placere non posset nisi hte destinata pugnarent dubio tenore sensus.

121 P.L.M.

SI Somnia quae mentes ludunt volitantibus umbris, non delubra deum nee ab aethere numina mittunt, sed sibi quisque facit. Nam cum prostrata sopore urget membra quies et mens sine pondere ludit, quidquid luce fuit tenebris agit. Oppida bello qui quatit et flammis miserandas eruit urbes, tela videt versasque acies et funera regum atque exundantes profuso sanguine campos. Qui causas orare solent, legesque forumque et pavidi cernunt inclusum chorte^ tribunal. Condit avarus opes defossumque invenit aurum.

chorte Mommsen : coide E.

S60

POEMS

day, and lie with thy Hps to mine. No toil is here and no shame : in tliis, delight has been, and is, and long shall be ; in this there is no diminution, but a begin- ning everlastingly.

To love and accuse at one time were a labour 29 Hercules himself could scarce have borne.

Our eyes deceive us, and our wandering senses 30 weigh down our reason and tell us falsehoods. For the tower which stands almost four-square has its corners blunted at a distance and becomes rounded. The full stomach turns from the honey of Hybla, and the nose often hates the scent of cinnamon. One thing could not please us more or less than another, unless the senses strove in set conflict with wavering balance.

It is not the shrines of the gods, nor the powers of 31 the air, that send the dreams which mock the mind with flitting shadows; each man makes dreams for himself. For when rest lies about the limbs subdued by sleep, and the mind plays with no weight upon it, it pursues in the darkness whatever was its task by daylight. The man who makes towns tremble in war, and overwhelms unhappy cities in flame, sees arms, and routed hosts, and the deaths of kings, and plains streaming with outpoured blood. They whose life is to plead cases have statutes and the courts before their eyes, and look with terror upon the judgement-seat surrounded by a throng. The miser hides his gains and discovers buried treasure.

361

TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER

Venator saltus canibus quatit. Eripit undis aut premit eversam periturus navita puppem. Scribit amatori meretrix, dat adultera munus : et canis in somnis leporis vestigia lustrat. In noctis spatium miserorum vulnera durant.

362

POEMS

The hunter shakes the woods with his pack. The sailor snatches his shipwrecked bark from the waves, or grips it in death-agony.' The woman -^mtes to her lover, the adulteress yields herself: and the dog follows the tracks of the hare as he sleeps. The wounds of the unhappy endure into the night-season.

S6S

SENECAE AnOKOAOKl-NTOSIS DIVI CLAUDII

INTRODUCTION

This piece is ascribed to Seneca by ancient tradirion ; it is impossible to prove that it is his, and impossible to prove that it is not. The matter mil probably con- tinue to be decided by every one according to his view of Seneca's character and abilities : in the mat- ters of style and of sentiment much may be said on both sides. Dion Cassius (ix, 35) says that Seneca composed an dTroKoAoKrvroxrts or Pumpkinification ot Claudius after his death, the title being a parody of the usual aTrodiiixris ; but this title is not given in the MSS. of the Ludus de Morte Claudii, nor is there any- thing in the piece which suits the title very well.

As a literary form, the piece belongs to the class called Satura Menippea, a satiric medley in prose and verse.

This text is that of Buecheler, with a few trifling changes, which are indicated in the notes. We have been courteously allowed by Messrs Weidmann to use this text. I have to acknowledge the help of Mr Ball's notes, from which I have taken a few references ; but my translation was made many years ago.

VV. H. D. RousB.

S67

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Editio Princeps : Lucii Annaei Senecae in morte Claudii Caesaris Ludus nuper repertus: Rome, 1513.

Latest critical text : Franz Buecheler, Weidmann, 1904 (a reprint with a few changes of the text from a larger work, Divi Claudii 'ATroKoXoKuvroxris in the Symbola Philologorum Bonnensium, fasc. i, 1864).

Translations and helps: The Satire of Seneca on the Apotheosis of Claudius, by A. P. Ball (with intro- duction, notes, and translations): New York: Columbia University Press; London, Macmillan, 1902.

BE 969

SENECAE APOCOLOCYNTOSIS DIVI CLAUDII

Quid actum sit in caelo ante diem III idus Octobris

anno novo, initio saeculi felicissimi, volo memoriae tra-

dere. Nihil nee ofFensae nee gratiae dabitur. Haec ita

vera. Si quis quaesiverit unde sciam, primum, si no-

luero, non respondebo. Quis coacturus est? Ego scio

me liberum factum, ex quo suum diem obiit ille, qui

verum proverbium fecerat, aut regem aut fatuum

nasci oportere. Si libuerit respondere, dicam quod

mihi in buccam venerit. Quis unquam ab historico

iuratores exegit? Tamen si necesse fuerit auctorem

producere, quaerito ab eo qui Drusillam euntem in

caelum vidit : idem Claudium vidisse se dicet iter faci-

entem non passibus acquis." Velit nolit, necesse est

illi omnia videre, quae in caelo aguntur : Appiae viae

curator est, qua scis et divum Augustum et Tiberium

Caesarem ad decs isse. Hunc si interrogaveris, soli

narrabit: coram pluribus nunquam verbum faciet.

Nam ex quo in senatu iuravit se Drusillam vidisse

caelum ascendentem et illi pro tam bono nuntio nemo

credidit, quod viderit, verbis conceptis affirmavit se

non indicaturum, etiam si in medio foro hominem 370

SENECA

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS, OR LUDUS DE MORTE CLAUDII: THE PUMPKINIFICATION OF CLAUDIUS.

I wish to place on record the proceedings in heaven 1 October 1 3 last, of the new year which begins this auspicious age. It shall be done without malice or favour. This is the truth. Ask if you Hke how I know it ? To begin with, I am not bound to please you -with my answer. Who will compel me ? I know the same day made me free, which was the last day for him who made the proverb true — One must be bom either a Pharaoh or a fool. If I choose to an- swer, I will say whatever trips off my tongue. Who has ever made the historian produce witness to swear for him? But if an authority must be produced, ask of the man who saw Drusilla translated to heaven : the same man will aver he saw Claudius on the road, J^j. dot and carry one. Will he nill he, all that happens in 724 heaven he needs must see. He is the custodian of the Appian W^ay ; by that route, you know, both Tiberius and Augustus went up to the gods Question him, he will tell you the tale when you are alone ; before company he is dumb. You see he swore in the Senate that he beheld Drusilla mounting heavenwards, and all he got for his good news was that everybody gave him the lie: since when he solemnly swears he will never bear witness again to what he has seen, not even if he had seen a man murdered in open market. Wliat bb9 371

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA occisum vidisset. Ab hoc ego quae turn audivi, carta clara afFero, ita ilium salvum et felicem habeam.

2 lam Phoebus breviore via contraxerat ortum

lucis, et obscuri crescebant tempora somni, iamque suum victrix augebat Cynthia regnum, et deformis hiemps gratos carpebat honores divitis autumni, iussoque senescere Baccho carpebat raras serus vindemitor uvas.

, Puto magis intellegi, si dixero : mensis erat October, dies III idus Octobris. Horam non possum certam tibi dicere, facilius inter philosophos quam inter horo- logia conveniet, tamen inter sextam et septimam erat. Nimis rustice" inquies: cum omnes poetae^ non contenti ortus et occasus describere, ut etiam medium diem inquietent^ tu sic transibis horam tam bonam?"

lam medium curru Phoebus diviserat orbem et propior nocti fessas quatiebat habenas obliquo flexam deducens tramite lucem :

S Claudius animam agere coepit nee invenire exitum

poterat. Turn Mercurius^ qui semper ingenio eius

delectatus esset, unam e tribus Parcis seducit et ait:

Quid, femina crudelissima, hominem miserum tor-

queri pateris? Nee unquam tam diu cruciatus cesset?

So MSS: Buecheler orbem ufuiecessarily.

S72

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

he told me I report plain and clear, as I hope for his health and happiness.

Now had the sun with shorter course drawn in his 2

risen light. And by equivalent degrees grew the dark hours of

night : Victorious Cynthia now held sway over a wider space. Grim winter drove rich autumn out, and now usurped

his place; And now the fiat had gone forth that Bacchus must

grow old. The few last clusters of the vine were gathered ere

the cold:

I shall make myself better understood, if I say the month was October, the day was the thirteenth. What hour it was I cannot certainly tell ; philosophers will agree more often than clocks ; but it was between midday and one after noon. Clumsy creature! ""you say. ' The poets are not content to describe sunrise and sunset, and now they even disturb the midday siesta. Will you thus neglect so good an hour?"

Now the sun's chariot had gone by the middle of his

way; Half wearily he shook the reins, nearer to night than

day. And led the light along the slope that down before

him lay.

Claudius began to breathe his last, and could not 3 make an end of the matter. Then Mercury, who had always been much pleased with his wit, drew aside one of the three Fates, and said : Cruel beldame, why do you let the poor wretch be tormented ? After

S7S

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECa Annus sexagesimus quartus est, ex quo cum anima luctatur. Quid huic et rei publicae invides? Patera mathematieosaliquando verum dicere, qui ilium, ex quo princeps factus est, omnibus annis, omnibus mensibus efFerunt. Et tamen non est mirum si errant et horam eius nemo novit; nemo enim unquam ilium natum putavit. Fac quod faciendum est:

Dede neci, melior vacua sine regnet in aula.' "

Sed Clotho ego mehercules" inquit pusillum tem- poris adicere illi volebam, dum hos pauculos, qui supersunt, civitate donaret (constituerat enim omnes Graecos, Gallos, Hispanos, Britannos togatos videre) sed 'quoniam placet aliquos peregrinos in semen relin- qui et tu ita iubes fieri, fiat." Aperit turn capsulam et tres fiisos profert : unus erat Augurini, alter Babae, tertius Claudii. Hos" inquit tres uno anno exiguis intervallis temporum divisos mori iubebo, nee ilium incomitatum dimittam. Non oportet enim eum, qui modo se tot milia hominum sequentia videbat, tot praecedentia, tot circumfusa, subito solum destitui. Contentus erit his interim convictoribus."

Haec ait et turpi convolvens stamina fuse abrupit stolidae regalia tempora vitae. 374

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

all this torture cannot he have a rest ? Four and sixty years it is now since he began to pant for breath. What grudge is this you bear against him and the whole empire? Do let the astrologers tell the truth for once ; since he became emperor, they have never let a year pass, never a month, without laying him out for his burial. Yet it is no wonder if they are wrong, and no one knows his hour. Nobody ever be- lieved he was really quite born.^ Do what has to be done: Kill him, and let a better man rule in his^»'"^- empty court." iv^^

Clotho replied: Upon my word, I did wish to give him another hour or two, until he should make Roman citizens of the half dozen who are still out- siders. (He made up his mind, you know, to see the whole world in the toga, Greeks, Gauls, Spaniards, Britons, and all.) But since it is your pleasure to leave a few foreigners for seed, and since you com- mand me, so be it." She opened her box and out came three spindles. One was for Augurinus, one for Baba, one for Claudius.^ These three," she says, I will cause to die -within one year and at no great distance apart, and I will not dismiss him unattended. Think of all the thousands of men he was wont to see following after him, thousands going before, thousands all crowding about him; and it would never do to leave him alone on a sudden. These boon companions will satisfy him for the nonce."

This said, she twists the thread around his ugly spindle 4

once. Snaps off the last bit of the life of that Imperial dunce.

'A proverb for a nobody, as Petron. 58 qui te natum mm pufat.

'Augurinus: unknown, Baba: see Sen. Ep. 159, a fool.

375

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA At Lachesis redimita comas, ornata capillos, Pieria crinem lauro frontemque coronans, Candida de niveo subtemina vellere sumit felici moderanda manu, quae ducta colorem assumpsere novum. Mirantur pensa sorores: mutatur vilis pretioso lana metallo, aiirea formoso descendunt saeeula filo. Nee modus est illis, felicia vellera ducunt et gaudent implere manus, sunt dulcia pensa. Sponte sua festinat opus nulloque labore mollia contorto descendunt stamina fuse. Vincunt Titlioni, vincunt et Nestoris annos. Phoebus adest cantuque iuvat gaudetque futuris, et laetus nunc plectra movet, nunc pensa ministrat.

Detinet intentas cantu fallitque laborem,

Dumque nimis citharam fratemaque carmina

laudant,

plus solito nevere manus, humanaque fata

laudatum transcendit opus. Ne demite, Parcae"

Phoebus ait vincat mortalis tempora vitae 376

apocolocyntosis

But Lachesis, her hair adorned, her tresses neatly

bound, Pierian laurel on her locks', her brows with garlands

cToymed, Plucks me from out the snowy wool new threads as

white as snow. Which handled with a happy touch change colour as

they go. Not common wool, but golden wire ; the Sisters won- dering gaze. As age by age the pretty thread runs down the golden

days. World without end they spin away, the happy fleeces

pull; What joy they take to fill their hands with that de- lightful wool ! Indeed, the task performs itself: no toil the spinners

know: Down drops the soft and silken thread as round the

spindles go; Fewer than these are Tithon's years, not Nestor's life

so long. Phoebus is present : glad he is to sing a merry song ; Now helps the work, now full of hope upon the harp

doth play; The Sisters listen to the song that charms their toil

away. They praise their brother's melodies, and still the

spindles run, Till more than man's allotted span the busy hands

have spun. Then Phoebus says, O sister Fates ! I pray take none

away, But suffer this one life to be longer than mortal day,

377

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA ille, mihi similis vultu similisque decore nee cantu nee voee minor. Felicia lassis saecula praestabit legumque silentia rumpet. Qualis diseutiens fugientia Lueifer astra aut qualis surgit redeuntibus Hesperus astris, qualis cum primum tenebris Aurora solutis induxit rubicunda diem^ Sol aspicit orbem lucidus, at primes a ear cere coneitat axes : talis Caesar adest, talem iam Roma Neronem aspieiet. Flagrat nitidus fulgore remisso vultus^ et adfuso cervix formosa eapillo."

haee Apollo. At Lachesis, quae et ipsa homini for- mosissimo faveret, fecit illud plena manu, et Neroni multos annos de suo donat. Claudium autem iubent omnes

Xaipovras, ev4>r)ixovvTa'i eKTrefiTreiv SofKOV.

Et ille quidem animam ebulliit, et ex eo desiit vivere videri. Exspiravit autem dum eomoedos audita ut scias me non sine causa illos timere. Ultima vox eius haec inter homines audita est, cum maiorem sonitum

1 A fragment from the Cresphontes of Euripides (Nauck, 452)-

378

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

Like me in face and lovely grace, like me in voice and

song, He'll bid the laws at lengthrspeak out that have been

dumb so long, Will give unto the weary world years prosperous and

bright Like as the daystar from on high scatters the stars of

night. As, when the stars return again, clear Hesper brings

his Ught, Or as the ruddy dawn drives out the dark, and brings

the day, As the bright sun looks on the world, and speeds along

its way His rising car from morning's gates: so Caesar doth

arise, So Nero shows his face to Rome before the people's

eyes; His bright and shining countenance illumines all the air. While down upon his graceful neck fall rippling waves

of hair."

Thus Apollo. But Lachesis, quite as ready to cast a favourable eye on a handsome man, spins away by the handful, and bestows years and years upn^n Nero out of her own pocket. As for Claudius, they tell e verj'body to speed him on his way With cries of joy and solemn litany.

At once he bubbled up the ghost, and there was an end to that shadow of a life. He was listening to a troupe of comedians when he died, so you see I have reason to fear those gentry. The last words he was heard to speak in this world were these. \Mien he had made a great noise with that part of him which talked

379

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA emisisset ilia parte, qua facilius loquebatur : vae me, puto, concacavi me." Quod an fecerit, nescio: omnia certe concacavit.

Quae in terris postea sint acta, supervacuum est referre. Scitis enim optime, nee periculum est ne excidant memoriae quae gaudium publicum impres- serit : nemo felicitatis suae obliviscitur. In eaelo quae acta sint, audite : fides penes auctorem erit. Nuntiatur lovi venisse quendam bonae staturae, bene canum ; nescio quid ilium minari, assidue enim^ caput movere ; pedem dextrum trahere. Quaesisse se, cuius nationis esset : respondisse nescio quid perturbato sono et voce confusa ; non intellegere se linguam eius, nee Graecum esse nee Romanum nee ullius gentis notae. Tum luppiter Herculem, qui totum orbem terrarum pererraverat et nosse videbatur omnes nati- ones, iubet ire et explorare, quorum hominum esset. Tum Hercules primo aspectu sane perturbatus est, ut qui etiam non omnia monstra timuerit. Ut vidit novi generis faciem, insolitum incessum, vocem nullius terrestris animalis sed qualis esse marinis beluis solet, raucam et implicatam, putavit sibi tertium decimum laborem venisse. Diligentius intuenti visus est quasi homo. Accessit itaque et quod facillimum fuit Grae- culo, ait :

Tt's TToOev eis avSpwv, ttoOc rot TroAi? tjSe tok^£s; 380

i^POCOLOCYNTOSIS

easiest, he cried out, "Oh dear, oh dear! I think I have made a mess of mjself." WTiether he did or no, I cannot say, but certain it "is he always did make a mess of everything.

What happened next on earth it is mere waste of 5 time to tell, for you know it all well enough, and there is no fear of your ever forgetting the impression which that public rejoicing made on your memory. No one forgets his own happiness. WTiat happened in heaven you shall hear : for proof please apply to my informant. Word comes to Jupiter that a stranger had arrived, a man of fair height and hair well sprinkled with grey ; he seemed to be threatening something, for he wagged his head ceaselessly; he dragged the right foot. They asked him what nation he was of; he answered something in a confused mumbling voice: his language they did not understand. He was no Greek and no Roman, nor of any known race. On this Jupiter bids Hercules go and find out what country he comes from ; you see Hercules had travelled over the whole world, and might be expected to know all the nations in it. But Hercules, the first glimpse he got, was really much taken aback, although not all the monsters in the world could frighten him ; when he saw this new kind of object, with its extraordinary gait, and the voice of no terrestrial beast, but such as you might hear in the leviathans of the deep, hoarse and inarticulate, he thought his thirteenth labour had come upon him. \\Tien he looked closer, the thing seemed to be a kind of man. Up he goes, then, and says what your Greek finds readiest to his tongue :

Who art tliou, and what thy people ? Who thy od. i, 17 parents, where thy home?"

38)

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA Claudius gaudet esse illic philologos homines, sperat futurum aliquem historiis suis locum. Itaque et ipse Homerico versa Caesarem se esse signihcans ait :

IXioOev fi€ <f>ep<j}v avefios KtKovecro-t viXacra-ev.

Erat autem sequens versus verier, aeque Homericus :

€v6a 8' eyui ttoAiv tirpaOov, wAecra S" avTovs.

6 Et imposuerat Herculi minime vafro, nisi fuisset illic Febris, quae fane suo relicto sola cum illo venerat : ceteros omnes deos Romae reliquerat. " Iste " inquit mera mendacia narrat. Ego tibi dico, quae cum illo tot annis vixi : Luguduni natus est, Marci municipem J vides. Quod tibi narro, ad sextum decimum lapidem natus est a Vienna, Gallus germanus. Itaque quod Galium facere oportebat, Romam cepit. Hunc ego tibi recipio Luguduni natum, ubi Licinus multis annis regnavit. Tu autem, qui plura loca calcasti quam ullus mulio perpetuarius, Lugudunenses scire debes, et^ multa milia inter Xanthum et Rhodanum interesse." Excandescit hoc loco Claudius et quanto potest mur- mure irascitur. Quid diceret, nemo intellegebat, ille autem Febrim duci iubebat, illo gestu solutae manus

^ Buecheler Licinusyb^ Licinius.

• Buecheler omits et withoneMS. andbracketshu^udnncasts.

382

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

Claudius was delighted to find literary men in that place, and began to hope there might be some comer for his own historical works'. So he caps him with another Homeric verse, explaining that he was Caesar :

'Breezes wafted me from Ilion unto the Ciconian od. «, S9 land."

But the next verse was more true, and no less Homeric :

'Thither come, I sacked a city, slew the people every one."

He would have taken in poor simple Hercules, but 6 that Our Lady of Malaria was there, who left her temple and came alone with him : all the other gods he had left at Rome. Quoth she. The fellow's tale is nothing but lies. I have lived with him all these years, and I tell you, he was born at Lyons. You behold a fellow-burgess of Marcus.^ As 1 say, he was bom at the sixteenth milestone from Vienne, a native Gaul. So of course he took Rome, as a good Gaul ought to do. I pledge you my word that in Lyons he was bom, where Licinus^ was king so many years. But you that have trudged over more roads than any muleteer that pUes for hire, you must have come across the people of Lyons, and you must know that it is a far cry from Xanthus to the Rhone." At this point Claudius flared up, and expressed his wrath with as big a growl as he could manage. What he said nobody understood; as a matter of fact, he was ordering my lady of Fever to be taken away, and making that sign with his trembling hand (which

' Reference unknown.

'A Gallic slave, appointed by Augustus Procurator of Gallia Lugndunensis, when he made himself notorious by his ex- tortions. See Dion Cass, liv, 21.

383

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA et ad hoc unum satis firmae, quo decollare homines 7 solebat, iusserat ilH collum praecidi. Putares omnes ilHus esse Hbertos : adeo ilium nemo curabat. Turn Hercules audi me " inquit tu desine fatuari. Venisti huCj ubi mures ferrum rodunt. Citius mihi verum, ne tibi alogias excutiam." Et quo terribilior esset, tragi- cus fit et ait :

exprome propere, sede qua genitus cluas, hoc ne peremptus stipite ad terram accidas; haec clava reges saepe mactavit feros. Quid nunc profatu vocis incerto sonas ? Quae patria, quae gens mobile eduxit caput ? Edissere. Equidem regna tergemini petens longinqua regis, unde ab Hesperio mari Inachiam ad urbem nobile advexi pecus, vidi duobus imminens fluviis iugum, quod Phoebus ortu semper obverso videt, ubi Rhodanus ingens amne praerapido fluit, Ararque dubitans, quo suos cursus agat, tacitus quietis adluit ripas vadis. Estne ilia tellus spiritus altrix tui?"

Haec satis animose et fortiter, nihilo minus mentis S84

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

was always steady enough for that, if for nothing else) by which he used to decapitate men. He had ordered her head to be chcJpped off. For all the notice the others took of him, they might have been his own freedmen.

Then Hercules said, You just listen to me, and stop playing the fool. You have come to the place where the mice nibble iron.^ Out with the truth, and look sharp, or I'll knock your quips and quiddities out of you." Then to make himself all the more awful, he strikes an attitude and proceeds in his most tragic vein:

Declare with speed what spot you claim by birth.

Or with this club fall stricken to the earth I

This club hath ofttimes slaughtered haughty kings !

\N'hy mumble unintelhgible things?

What land, what tribe produced that shaking head?

Declare it I On my journey when I sped

Far to the Kingdom of the triple King,

And from the Main Hesperian did bring

The goodly cattle to the Argive town.

There I beheld a mountain looking down

Upon two rivers : this the Sun espies

Right opposite each day he doth arise.

Hence, mighty Rhone, thy rapid torrents flow.

And Arar, much in doubt which way to go,

Ripples along the banks with shallow roll.

Say, is this land the nurse that bred thy soul?"

These lines he delivered with much spirit and a bold front. All the same, he was not quite master of his

'A proverb, found also in Herondas iii, 76 : apparently fairy»

land, the land of Nowhere.

CO S85

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

suae non est et timet ixwpov ivXriy-qv. Claudius ut vidit virum valentem, oblitus nugarum intellexit neminem Romae sibi parem fuisse, illic non habere se idem gra- tiae : gallum in suo sterquilino plurimum posse. Itaque quantum intellegi potuit, haec visus est dicere : Ego te, fortissime deorum Hercule, speravi mihi adfuturum apud alios, et si qui a me notorem petisset, te fui nominaturus, qui me optime nosti. Nam si memoria repetis, ego eram qui tibi^ ante templum tuum ius dicebam totis diebus mense lulio et Augusto. Tu scis, quantum illic miseriarum tulerim, cum causidicos audi- rem diem et noctem, in quos si incidisses, valde fortis licet tibi videaris, maluisses cloacas Augeae purgare: multo plus ego stercoris exhausi. Sed quoniam volo" "Non mirum quod in curiam impetum fecisti: nihil tibi clausi est. Modo die nobis, qualem deum istum fieri velis. ' ETrtKorpetos ^eos non potest esse : ovrf. avThs TTpayixa «x^^ ' ovre aXXois irapexft; Stoicus? Quomodo potest rotundus ' esse, ut ait Varro, sine capite, sine praeputio ' ? Est aliquid in illo Stoici dei, iam video : nee cor nee caput habet. Si mehercules a Saturno petisset hoc beneficium, cuius mensem toto anno celebravit, Saturnalicius princeps, non tulisset illud, nedum ab love, quern quantum quidem in illo ^So MSS. Buecheler reads Tiburi, quoting Suet. Aug. •^2.

' A parody of the phrase, ^eoO irXr^yf], gfod's blow, or as in Apostolius viii, 89, C, deov 5k irXrjyTjv oix {nrepTri]d$ /3/5or6s (from Menander) : no mortal can escape god's blow.

^Galium means both Gaul and cock; the proverb plays on his birthplace.

^Compare Diogenes Laertius x, i^girb fiaKapiov Kai S,(p9apTov oih-e airrS irpdyfxd ti ^x" 0^^ dWcj) Trap^et: *' The Blessed and Incorruptible neither itself has trouble nor causes trouble to another."

Author 01 Saturae Menippeae (now lost), which no doubt

burlesqued the Stoic " perfect man,'Vo^w5 teres ataue rotundus.

386

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

wits, and had some fear of a blow from the fool.^ Claudius, seeing a mighty man before him, forgot his trifling and understood that here he had not quite the same pre-eminence as at Rome, where no one was his equal: the Gallic cock' was worth most on his own dunghill. So this is what he was thought to say, as far as could be made out: I did hope, Hercules, bravest of all the gods, that you would take my part with the rest, and if I should need a voucher, that I might name you who know me so well. Do but call it to mind, how it was I used to sit in judgment before your temple whole days together during July and August You know what miseries I endured there, in hearing the lawyers plead day and night. If you had fallen amongst these, you may think yourself very strong, but you would have found it worse than the sewers of Augeas : I drained out more filth than you did. But since I want ..."

(Some pages have fallen out, in which Hercules must have been persuaded. The gods are now discus- sing what Hercules tells them).

"No wonder you have forced your way into the 8 Senate House : no bars or bolts can hold against you. Only do say what species of god you want the fellow to be made. An Epicurean god he cannot be : for they take no trouble and cause none.^ A Stoic, then ? How can he be globular, as Varro * says, with- out a head or any other projection ? There is in him something of the Stoic god, as I can see now : he has neither heart nor head. Upon my word, if he had asked this boon from Saturn, he would not have got it, though he kept up Saturn's feast all the year round, a truly SatumaUan prince. A likely thing he will get it from Jove, whom he condemned for incest as far as cc2 387

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA fuit, damnavit incesti. Silanum enim generum suum occidit propterea quod sororem suam, festivissimam omnium puellarumj quam omnes Venerem vocarent, maluit lunonem vocare. Quare ' inquit quaero enim, sororem suam ? ' Stulte, stude : Athenis dimi- dium licet, Alexandriae totum. Quia Romae ' inquis 'mures molas lingunt.' Hie nobis curva corriget? quid in cubiculo suo facial, nescit, et iam caeli scrutatur plagas ' ? Deus fieri vult : parum est quod ^ LU^ tu^ templum in Britannia habet, quod hunc barbari colimt et ut deum orant fiwpov evLAarov rvx^i-v- 9 Tandem lovi venit in mentem, privatis intra curiam morantibus senatoribus non licere^ sententiam dicere nee disputare. "Ego" inquit "p. c. interrogare vobis permiseram, vos mera mapalia fecistis. Volo ut servetis disciplinam curiae. Hie qualiscunque est, quid de nobis existimabit ? " Illo dimisso primus interrogatur sententiam lanus pater. Is designatus erat in kal. lulias postmeridianus consul, homo quan- tumvis vafer, qui semper videt a/xa irpoa-aroi kol ottlo-o-oi,

^senatoribus non licere: added by Buecheler.

^ Because Juno was et soror et coniunx.

' Marriage with a half-sister was allowed at Athens ; the Egyptian royal family married brother and sister.

'Another proverb of uncertain meaning; probably "be- cause people like nice things at Rome, as they do every- where. S88

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

in him iaj' •} for he killed his son-in-law Silanus, because Silanus had a sister, a most charming girl, called Venus by all the world, and he preferred to call her Juno. Why, says he, I want to know why, his own sister ? Read your books, stupid : you may go half-way at Athens, the whole way at Alexandria.^ Because the mice lick meal ^ at Rome, you say. Is this creature to mend our crooked ways ? What goes on in his o^vvn closet he knows not ; * and now he searches the regions of the sky, wants to be a god. Is it not enough that he has a temple in Britain, that savages worship him and pray to him as a god, so that they may find a fool ° to have mercy upon them ?"

At last it came into Jove's head, that while strangers were in the House it was not lawful to speak or debate. My lords and gentlemen," said he, ' I gave you leave to ask questions, and you have made a regular farmyard^ of the place. Be so good as to keep the rules of the House. WTiat will this person think of us, whoever he is ? " So Claudius was led out, and the first to be asked his opinion was Father Janus : he had been made consul elect for the afternoon of the next first of July,' being as shrewd a man as you could find on a summer's day : for he could see, as they say, before and behind.® He made an eloquent

Perhaps alluding to a mock marriage of Silius and

Messalina.

' Again fiupov for 6eoO as in ch. 6,

• Proverb : meaning unknown.

' Perhaps an allusion to the shortening of the consul's lerm, which was done to give more candidates a chance of the honour.

' II. iii, 109 ; alluding here to Janus's double face.

389

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

Is multa diserte, quod in foro vivebat, dixit, quae notarius persequi non potuit, et ideo non refero, ne aliis verbis ponam, quae ab illo dicta sunt. Multa dixit de magnitudine deorum : non debere hunc vulgo dari honorem. Olim " inquit magna res erat deum fieri : iam famam mimum fecistis. Itaque ne videar in personam, non in rem dicere sententiam, censeo ne quis post hunc diem deus fiat ex his, qui dpovpr)s KapTTov eSovcriv, aut ex his, quos aht {ttSwpos apovpa. Qui contra hoc senatus consultum deus factus, dictus pictusve erit, eum dedi Laruis et proximo munere inter novos auctoratos feruhs vapulare placet." Pro- ximus interrogatur sententiam Diespiter Vicae Potae filius, et ipse designatus consul, nummulariolus : hoc quaestu se sustinebat, vendere civitatulas solebat. Ad hunc belle accessit Hercules et auriculam illi tetigit Censet itaque in haec verba : Cum divus Claudius et divum Augustum sanguine contingat nee minus divam Augustam aviam suam, quam ipse deam esse iussit, longeque omnes mortales sapientia antecellat, sitque e re publica esse aliquem qui cum Romulo possit ferventia rapa vorare,' censeo uti divus Claudius ex hac die deus sit, ita uti ante eum qui optimo iure factus sit, eamque rem ad metamorphosis Ovidi adiciendam." Variae erant sententiae, et vide-

^ No one knows what this phrase really means. Cic. Att. i, i6'^ has fabam miftiutn, which makes it likely that there should be the same reading here ; but as the meaning is so uncertain it seems best not to alter the text.

^ II. vi, 142 and other phrases.

^ Part of the training-.

Apparently sometimes identified with Pluto, Dis.

^ A quotation from some unknown poet. Martial speaks of Romulus eating turnips, xiii, 16.

390

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

harangue, because his life was passed in the foriimj but too fast for the notary to take do^^Ti. That is why I give no full report of it. Tor I don't want to change the words he used. He said a great deal of the majesty of the gods, and how the honour ought not to be given away to every Tom, Dick, or Harry. Once," said he, it was a great thing to become a god ; now you have made it a farce. ^ Therefore, that you may not think I am speaking against one person instead of the general custom, I propose that from this day forward the godhead be given to none of those who eat the fruits of the earth, or whom mother earth doth nourish.^ After this bill has been read a third time, whosoever is made, said, or portraj-ed to be god, I vote he be delivered over to the bogies, and at the next public show be flogged vriih a birch amongst the new gladiators."^ The next to be asked was Diespiter, son of Vica Pota, he also being consul elect, and a moneylender ;* by this trade he made a li\Tng, used to sell rights of citizenship in a small way. Hercules trips me up to him daintily, and tweaks him by the ear. So he uttered his opinion in these words : Inasmuch as the blessed Claudius is akin to the blessed Augustus, and also to the blessed Augusta, his grandmother, whom he ordered to be made a goddess, and whereas he far surpasses all mortal men in wisdom, and seeing that it is for the public good that there be some one able to join Romulus in devouring boiled turnips,^ I propose that from this day forth blessed Claudius be a god, to enjoy that honour with all its appurtenances in as full a degree as any other before him, and that a note to that effect be added to Ovid's Metamorphoses." The meeting was divided, and it looked as though Claudius was to

391

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA batur Claudius sententiam vincere. Hercules enim, qui videret ferrum suum in igne esse, modo hue modo illuc cursabat et aiebat : ' Noli mihi invidere, mea res agitur ; deinde tu si quid volueris, in vieem faciam ; manus manum lavat." 10 Tunc divus Augustus surrexit sententiae suae loco dicendae, et summa facundia disseruit : Ego " inquit p. c. vos testes habeo, ex quo deus factus sum, nul- lum me verbum fecisse : semper meum negotium ago. Sed non possum amplius dissimulare, et dolorem, quem graviorem pudor facit, continere. In hoc terra mari- que pacem peperi ? Ideo civilia bella compescui ? Ideo legibus urbem fundavi, operibus ornavl, ut — quid dicam p. c. non invenio : omnia infra indignationem verba sunt. Confugiendum est itaque ad Messalae Corvini, disertissimi viri, illam sententiam pudet imperii." Hie, p. c, qui vobis non posse videtur muscam excitare, tam facile homines occidebat, quam canis adsidit. Sed quid ego de tot ac talibus viris dicam? Non vacat deflere publicas clades intuenti domestica mala. Itaque ilia omittam, haec referam ; nam etiam si soror^ mea Graece nescit, ego scio: f-yytov 70VV KV)]fxr]s. Iste quem videtis, per tot annos ^MSS. sormea. S92

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

win the day. For Hercules saw his iron was in the fire, trotted here and trotted there, saying. Don't deny me ; I make a point' of the matter. I'll do as much for you again, when j^ou like ; you roll my log, and I'll roll yours : one hand washes another."

Then arose the blessed Augustus, when his turn 1 came, and spoke with much eloquence. I call you to witness, my lords and gentlemen," said he, that since the day I was made a god I have never uttered one word. I always mind my o^wn business. But now I can keep on the mask no longer, nor conceal the sorrow which shame makes all the greater. Is it for this I have made peace by land and sea ? For this have I calmed intestine wars ? For this, laid a firm foundation of law for Rome, adorned it with buildings, and all that — gentlemen, words fail me ; there are none can rise to the height of my indignation. I must borrow that saying of the eloquent Messala Q)rvinus, I am ashamed of my authority.^ This man, my lords, who looks as though he could not worry a fly, used to chop off heads as easily as a dog sits down. But why should I speak of all those men, and such men ? There is no time to lament for public disasters, •when one has so many private sorrows to think of. I leave that, therefore, and say only this ; for even if my sister knows no Greek, I do : The knee is nearer than the shin.' This man you see, who for so many

The speech seems to contain a parody of Augustus's

style and sayingfs.

2 M. Valerius Messalas Corvinus, appointed praefectus urbi, resigned within a week.

^ A proverb, like "Charity begins at home." The reading of the passage is uncertain ; " sister " is only a conjecture, and it is bard to see why his sister should be mentioned.

S9S

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA sub meo nomine latens, hanc mihi gratiam rettulit, ut ciuas lulias proneptes meas occideret, alteram ferro, alteram fame ; unum abnepotem L. Silanum. videris luppiter an in causa mala^ certe in tua, si aequus futurus es. Die mihi, dive Claudi, quare quemquam ex his, quos quasque occidisti, antequam de causa cognosceres, antequam audires, damnasti ? Hoc ubi 1 1 fieri solet ? In caelo non fit. Ecce luppiter, qui tot annos regnat, uni Volcano crus fregit, quern

pi^e TToSbs Teraywv otto (3r)Xov 6&nre(Tioio, et iratus fuit uxori et suspendit illam: numquid occidit? Tu Messalinam, cuius aeque avunculus maior cram quam tuus, occidisti. Nescio" inquis. Di tibi male faciant : adeo istuc turpius est, quod nesci- sti, quam quod occidisti. C. Caesarem non desiit mortuum persequi. Occiderat ille socerum: hie et generum. Gaius Crassi filium vetuit Magnum vocari ; hie nomen illi reddidit, caput tulit. Occidit in una domo Crassum, Magnum, Scriboniam, Tristionias, Assarionem, nobiles tamen, Crassum vero tam fatuum, ut etiam regnare posset. Hunc nunc deum facere vultis? Videte corpus eius dis iratis natum. Ad sum- mam, tria verba cito dicat, et servum me ducat. Hunc deum quis colet? Quiscredet? Dum tales deos facitis, nemo vos deos esse credet. Summa rei, p. c, 394

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

years has been masquerading under my name, has done me the favour of murderiiig two Julias, great- granddaughters of mine, ofie by coid steel and one by starvation ; and one great-grandson, L. Silanus. See, Jupiter, whether in a bad cause (at least it is your own) you will be fair. Come tell me, blessed Claudius, why of all those you killed, both men and women, with- out a hearing, why 30U did not hear their side of the case first, before putting them to death ? \Miere do we find that custom ? It is not done in heaven. Look at Jupiter : all these years he has been king, and 1 1 never did more than once to break Vulcan's leg.

Whom seizing by the foot he cast from the lUad i, 591 threshold of the sky,'

and once he fell in a rage with his wife and strung her up: did he do any killing' You killed Messalina, whose great-uncle I was no less than yours. I don't know,' did you say? Curse you! that is just it: not to know was worse than to kill. Caligula he went on persecuting even when he was dead. Caligula mur- dered his father-in-law, Claudius his son-in-law to boot. Caligula would not have Crassus' son called Great; Claudius gave him his name back, and took away his head. In one family he destroyed Crassus, Magnus, Scribonia, the Tristionias, Assario, noble though they were ; Crassus indeed such a fool that he might have been emperor. Is this he you want now to make a god ? Look at his body, bom under the wrath of heaven ! In fine, let him say as many as three words quickly, and he may have me for a slave. God I who will worship this god, who -will believe him ? While you make gods of such as he, no one will believe you to be gods. To be brief, my lords : if I have liv^d

395

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

si honeste me ^ inter vos gessi, si nulli clarius respondi, vindicate iniurias meas. Ego pro sententia mea hoc censeo:" atque ita ex tabella recitavit: quando quidem divus Claudius occidit socerum suum Appium Silanunij generos duos Magnum Pompeium et L. Silanum, socerum filiae suae Crassum Frugi^ hominem tam similem sibi quam ovo ovum, Scriboniam socrum filiae suae, uxorem suam Messalinam et ceteros quorum numerus iniri non potuit, placet mihi in eum severe animadverti, nee illi rerum iudicandarum vaca- tionem dari, eumque quam primum exportari, et caelo intra triginta dies excedere, Olympo intra diem ter- tium."

Pedibus in banc sententiam itum est. Nee mora, Cyllenius ilium collo obtorto trahit ad inferos, a caelo

'^illuc^ unde negant redire quemquam."

12 Dum descendunt per viam sacram, interrogat Mer- curius, quid sibi velit ille concursus hominum, num Claudii funus esset. Et erat omnium formosissimum et impensa cura, plane ut scires deum efFerri : tubici- num, cornicinum, omnis generis aenatorum tanta turba, tantus concentus, ut etiam Claudius audire posset. Omnes laeti, hilares : populus Romanus am- bulabat tanquam liber. Agatho et pauci causidici plorabant, sed plane ex animo. lurisconsulti e tenebris procedebant, pallidi, graciles, vix animam habentes, tanquam qui turn maxime reviviscerent. ^ Added by Buecheler.

S96

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

honourably among you, if I have never given plain speech to any, avenge my wrongs. This is my motion" : then he read out his amendment, which he had committed to writing: Inasmuch as the blessed Claudius murdered his father-in-law Appius Silanus, his two sons-in-law, Pompeius Magnus and L. Silanus, Crassus Frugi his daughter's father-in-law, as like him as two eggs in a basket, Scribonia his daughter's mother-in-law, his wife Messalina, and others too numerous to mention ; I propose that strong measures be taken against him, that he be allowed no delay of process, that immediate sentence of banishment be passed on him, that he be deported from heaven within thirty days, and from Olympus within thirty hours."

A division was taken upon this without further debate. Not a moment was lost: Mercury got a grip of his throat, and haled him to the lower regions, to that bourne from which they say no traveller returns." ^ As they passed downwards along the 12 Sacred Way, Mercury asked what was that great con- course of men ? could it be Claudius' funeral ? It was certainly a most gorgeous spectacle, got up regardless of expense, clear it was that a god was being borne to the grave : tootling of flutes, roaring of horns, an im- mense brass band of all sorts, such a din that even Claudius could hear it. Joy and rejoicing on every side, the Roman people walking about like free men. Agatho and a few pettifoggers were weeping for grief, and for once in a way they meant it. The Barristers were crawling out of their dark corners, pale and thin, with hardly a breath in their bodies, as though just coming to life again. One of them when he saw the ' Catullus lii, 12.

39?

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

Ex his unus cum vidisset capita conferentes et fortunas suas deplorantes causidicos, accedit et ait: dicebam vobis: non semper Saturnalia erunt." Claudius ut vidit funus suum, intellexit se mor- tuum esse. Ingenti eum /xeyaAv x^pi-Ki^ nenia canta- batur anapaestis:

Fundite fletus, edite planctus,

resonet tristi clamore forum :

cecidit pulchre cordatus homo,

quo non alius fuit in toto

fortior orbe.

Ille citato vincere cursu

poterat celeres, ille rebelles

fundere Parthos levibusque sequi

Persida telis, certaque manu

tendere nervum, qui praecipites

vulnere parvo figeret hostes,

pictaque Medi terga fugacis.

Ille Britannos ultra noti

litora ponti

et caeruleos scuta Brigantas

dare Romuleis colla catenis

iussit et ipsum nova Romanae

iura securis tremere Oceanum.

Deflete virum, quo non alius

potuit citius discere causas,

una tantum parte audita, [ saepe ne utra. Quis nunc iudex ' toto lites audiet anno?

Tibi iam cedet sede relieta^

qui dat populo iura silenti, S98

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

pettifoggers putting their heads together, and lament- ing their sad lot, up comes he and says : Did not I tell you the Saturnalia coul3 not last for ever?"

When Claudius saw his own funeral train, he realized that he was dead. For they were chanting his dirge in anapaests, with much mopping and mouth- ing :

Pour forth your laments, your sorrow declare. Let the sounds of grief rise liigh in the air : For he that is dead had a wit most keen. Was bravest of all that on earth have been. Racehorses are nothing to his swift feet : Rebellious Parthians he did defeat; Swift after the Persians his light shafts go : For he well knew how to fit arrow to bow. Swiftly the striped barbarians fled: With one little wound he shot them dead. And the Britons beyond in their unkno^\-n seas, Blue-shielded Brigantians too, all these He chained by the neck as the Romans' slaves. He terrified Ocean with all his waves. Made fear a new master to lay do^vn the law. O weep for the man ! This world never saw One quicker a troublesome suit to decide. When only one part of the case had been tried, (He could do it indeed and not hear either side). Who'll now sit in judgment the whole year round? Now he that is judge of the shades undergroimd

399

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

Cretaea tenens oppida centum. Caedite maestis pectora palmis, o causidici, venale genus. Vosque poetae lugete novi^ vosque in primis qui concusso magna parastis lucra fritillo."

1 3 Deleetabatur laudibus suis Claudius, et cupiebat diutius

spectare. Inicit illi manum Talthybius deorum^ et

trahit capite obvoluto, ne quis eum possit agnoscere,

per campum Martium, et inter Tiberim et viam tectam

descendit ad inferos. Antecesserat iam compendiaria

Narcissus libertus ad patronum excipiendum, et veni-

enti nitidurf, ut erat a balineo, occurrit et ait : Quid

di ad homines?" celerius" inquit Mercurius et

venire nos nuntia." Dicto citius Narcissus evolat.

Omnia proclivia sunt, facile descenditur. Itaque

quamvis podagricus esset, momento temporis pervenit

ad ianuam Ditis, ubi iacebat Cerberus vel ut ait Hora-

tius "belua centiceps." Pusillum perturbatur — subal-

bam canem in deliciis habere adsueverat — ut ilium

vidit canem nigrum, villosum, sane non quem velis

tibi in tenebris occurrere, et magna voce Claudius"

inquit "veniet." Cum plausu procedunt cantantes:

evpT^Ka/jiev, (nryxatpco/tev.^ Hie erat C. Silius consul

designatus, luncus praetorius, Sex. Traulus, M. Hel-

' The MSS. add nunVms.

Buecheler alters the MS. reading to ffvyxalpo/Mev, the actual

•word of the cry. 400

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

Once ruler of fivescore cities in Crete, Must yield to his better and take a back seat. Mourn, mourn, pettifoggers, ye venal crew, And you, minor poets, woe, woe is to you ! And you above all, who get rich quick By the rattle of dice and the three card trick." Claudius was charmed to hear his own praises sung, 1 3 and would have staged longer to see the show. But the Talthybius ^ of the gods laid a hand on him, and led him across the Campus Martius, first wrapping his head up close that no one might know him, until be- twixt Tiber and the Subway he went down to the lower regions. His freedman Narcissus had gone down before him by a short cut, ready to welcome his master. Out he comes to meet him, smooth and shining (he had just left the bath), and says he : WTiat make the gods among mortals?" Look alive," says Mercurj-, go and tell them we are coming." Away he flew, quicker than tongue can tell it. It is easy going by that road, all down hill. So although Claudius had a touch of the gout, in a trice they were come to Dis's door. There lay Cerberus, or, as Horace puts it, the hundred-headed monster, f,*^^ Claudius was a trifle perturbed (it was a little white bitch he used to keep for a pet) when he spied this black shag-haired hound, not at all the kind of thing you could wish to meet in the dark. In a loud voice he cried, Claudius is coming!" All marched before him singing. The lost is found, O let us rejoice together I" ^ Here were found C. Silius consul elect, Jimcus the ex-praetor, Sextus Traulus, M. Helvius,

' Talthybius was a herald, and nuntius is obviously a g^loss on this. He means Mercury. ' With a slight change, a cry used in the worship of Osiris. DD 401

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA vius, TroguSj Cotta, Vettius Valens^ Fabius equates R. quos Narcissus duci iusserat. Medius erat in hac cantantium turba Mnester pantomimus, quem Claudius decoris causa minorem fecerat. Ad Messalinam — cito rumor percrebuit Claudium venisse — convolant : primi omnium liberti Polybius, Myron, Harpocras, Amphae- us, Pheronactus, quos Claudius omnes, necubi impara- tus esset, praemiserat. Deinde praefecti duo Justus Catonius et Rufrius Pollio. Deinde amici Saturninus Lusius et Pedo Pompeius et Lupus et Celer Asinius consulares. Novissime fratris filia, sororis filia, generi, soceri, socrus, omnes plane consanguinei. Et agmine facto Claudio occurrunt. Quos cum vidisset Claudius, exclamat : iravra </)tAcov TrX-qpr] quomodo hue venistis vos?" Tum Pedo Pompeius: Quid dicis, homo crude- lissime? Quaeris, quomodo ? Quis enim nos alius hue misit quam tu, omnium amicorum interfector? In ius eamus, ego tibi hie sellas ostendam." 14 Ducit ilium ad tribunal Aeaci : is lege Cornelia quae de sicariis lata est, quaerebat. Postulat, nomen eius recipiat; edit subscriptionem : occisos senatores XXXV, equites R. CCXXI, ceteros ocra \pdfm66s re Kovis T€. Advocatum non invenit. Tandem procedit P. Petronius, vetus convictor eius, homo Claudiana lingua disertus, et postulat advocationem. Non datur. Accusat Pedo Pompeius niagnis clamoribus. Incipit patronus velle respondere. Aeacus, homo iustissimus, 402

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius, Roman Knights whom Narcissus had ordered for execution. In the midst of this chanting company was Mnester the mime, whom Claudius for honour's sake had made shorter by a head. The news was soon blown about that Claudius had come: to Messalina they throng: first his freedmen, Polybius, Mj'ron, Harpocras, x\m- phaeus, Pheronactus, all sent before him by Claudius that he might not be unattended anywhere ; next two prefects, Justus Catonius and Rufrius Pollius; then his friends, Saturninus Lusius and Pedo Pompeius and Lupus and Celer Asinius, these of consular rank ; last came his brother's daughter, his sister's daughter, sons-in-law, fuihers and mothers-in-law, the whole family in fact. In a body they came to meet Claudius ; and when Claudius saw them, he exclaimed. Friends everywhere, on my word! How came you all here?" , To this Pedo Pompeius answered. What, cruel man ? How came we here ? Who but you sent us, you, the murderer of all the friends that ever you had ? To court with you ! I'll show you where their lordships sit.'

Pedo brings him before the judgement seat of 14 Aeacus, who was holding court under the Lex Cornelia to try cases of murder and assassination. Pedo requests the judge to take the prisoner's name, and produces a simimons with this charge: Senators killed, 35; Roman Knights, 221 ; others as the sands of the sea- shore for multitude. Claudius finds no counsel. At n. '^, 385 length out steps P. Petronius, an old chimi of his, a finished scholar in the Claudlan tongue, and claimed a remand. Not granted. Pedo Pompeius prosecutes with loud outcry. The counsel for the defence tries to reply; but Aeacus, who is the soul of justice, will dd9 403

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA vetat, et ilium altera tantum parte audita condemnat

et ait : aiKe irdOoi to, t epe^e, Bikt) k Wela yevotro. In- gens silentium factum est. Stupebant omnes novitate rei attoniti, negabant hoc unquam factum. Claudio magis iniquum vldebatur quam novum. De genera poenae diu disputatum est, quid ilium pati oporteret. Erant qui dicerent, Sisyphum satis diu laturam fecisse. Tantalum siti periturum nisi illi succurreretur, ali- quando Ixionis miseri rotam sufflaminandam. Non placuit ulli ex veteribus missionem dari, ne vel Clau- dius unquam simile speraret. Placuit novam poenam constitui debere, excogitandum illi laborem irritum et alicuius cupiditatis speciem sine efFectu. Turn Aeacus iubet ilium alea ludere pertuso fritillo. Et iam coeperat fugientes semper tesseras quaerere et nihil proficere.

15 Nam quotiens missurus erat resonante fritillo,

utraque subducto fugiebat tessera fundo.

Cumque recollectos auderet mittere talcs,

fusuro similis semper semperque petenti, 404

aPOCOLOCYNTOSIS

not have it. Aeacus hears the case against Claudius, refuses to hear the other side and passes sentence against him, quoting the Hne : "As he did, so be he done by, this is justice undefiled." ^

A great silence fell. Not a soul but was stupefied at this new way of managing matters ; they had never known anything like it before. It was no new thing to Claudius, yet he thought it unfair. There was a long discussion as to the punishment he ought to endure. Some said that Sisyphus had done his job of porterage long enough ; Tantalus would be dying of thirst, if he were not relieved ; the drag must be put at last on wretched Ixion's wheel. But it was determined not to let off any of the old stagers, lest Claudius should dare to hope for any such relief. It was agreed that some new punishment must be devised : they must devise some new task, something senseless, to suggest some craving without result. Then Aeacus decreed he » should rattle dice for ever In a box with no bottom. At once the poor wretch began his fruitless task of hunting for the dice, which for ever slipped from his fingers.

For when he rattled with the box, and thought he 1 5 now had got 'em. The little cubes would vanish thro' the perforated

bottom. Then he would pick 'em up again, and once more set

a-trying : The dice but served him the same trick : away they

went a-flying. So still he tries, and still he fails; still searching long he lingers;

A proverbial line.

405

LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA

decepere fidem : refugit digitosque per ipsos fallax adsiduo dilabitur alea furto. Sic cum iam summi tanguntur culmina montis, irrita Sisyphio volvuntur pondera collo.

Apparuit subito C. Caesar et petere ilium in servitu- tem coepit; producit testes, qui ilium viderant ab illo flagris, ferulis, colaphis vapulantem. Adiudicatur C. Caesari; Caesar ilium Aeaco donat. Is Menandro liberto suo tradidit, ut a cognitionibus esset.

406

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS

And every time the tricksy things go slipping thro'

his fingers. Just so when Sisjrphus his rock once gets atop the

mountain. To his dismay he sees it come do^vn on his poor head

bounding I"

All on a sudden who should turn up but Caligula, and claims the man for a slave : brings witnesses, who said they had seen him being flogged, caned, fisticuffed by him. He is handed over to Caligula, and Caligula makes him a present to Aeacus. Aeacus delivers him to his freedman Menander, to be his law-clerk.

407

INDEX TO PETRONIUS

INDEX OF NAMES

The references are to chapters in the English translation. The Frag- ments and Poems are indicated by numbers with the letter F or P re- spectively prefixed.

Achilles, son of Peleus and Thetis; leader of the Greeks against Troy, 59, 129

Acrisius, father of Danae, was told by an oracle that her son would kill him. He therefore shut her up in a brazen tower; Zeus however visited her in the form of a shower of gold, and she became the mother of Perseus, 137

Actium, a promontory in Acarnania, 121

Aeneas, son of Anchises and Venus ; hero of Virgil's Aeneid as mythical founder of Rome, 68

Aethiopian, 102

Aetna, a volcanic mountain in north-east Sicily, 122

Africa, 48, 93, 117, 119, 125, 141

African, 35, 119

Agamemnon, a teacher of rhetoric, 3, 6, 26, 28, 46, 48, 49, 50, 52, 65, 69,78

Agamemnon, leader of the Greeks against Troy, 59

Agatho, a perfumer, 74

Ajax, son of Telamon; after the death of Achilles he was worsted in the contest for Achilles's arms by Odysseus, went mad, and, having killed a flock of sheep in madness, killed himself, 59

Albucia, a character in the lost por- tion of Petronius, F6

.Alcibiades, son of Clinias and Dinomache, b. about 450 b.c; pupil and friend of Socrates, by whom his life was saved at the battle of Potidaea, 432 B.C., and whom he saved at Delium, 424 B.C., 128

Alexandria, 31, 68

Alps, 122, 123

Amphitryon, son of Alcaeus king of Tiryns, and reputed father of Heracles by Alcmene his wife who was visited by Zeus, 123

410

Anacreon of Teos, lyric poet of the sixth century b.c, F20

Apelles, a celebrated fourth century painter who lived at the court of Philip and Alexander 83, 88

Apelles, an actor, 64

Apennine, 124

Apollo, 83, 89, 121, P21

Apulia, 77

Aquarius, 35, 39

Arabian, 102, 119

Aratus of Soli, an astronomer of the third century, author of the poems Phaenomena and Diose- meia, which Cicero translated, 40

Arbiter: Nero called Gains Petro- nius " arbiter elegantiarum," and the author of the Satyricon is often cited as Petronius Arbitei; F4, 19, 21, 24 (in conjunction with the name Petronius) F7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 25

Ariadne, daughter of Minos, fled with Theseus to Naxos, where he left her ; she was found by Diony- sus and became his bride, 138

Arpinum, a town in Latium, birth- place of Cicero, F4

Ascyltos, companion of Encolpius and Giton, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 57, 58, 59, 72, 79, 80, 92, 94, 97. 98, 133

Asia, 2, 44, 75, 85

Asiatic, 44

Assafoetida, a musical play no longer extant, 35

Atellane, 53, 68

Athena, 59

Athenian, 135

Athens, 2, 38

Athos, a mountain at the extremity of the peninsula Acte in Mace- donia, P3

Atreus, father of Menelaus, 108

Attic, 38

Augustus, first emperor of Rome, b. 63 B.C., d. 14 A.D., 57, 60, 71

INDEX OF NAMES

Babylonian, 55

Bacchus, 41, 133, 135, P3

Baiae, 53, 104

Bargates, keeper of a lodging-house,

96,97 Bellona, wife of Mars and goddess

of war, 124 Bosporus, a strait between the sea

of Azof and the Black Sea, 123 Bull, 35

Caesar, Caius Julius, b. 102, d. 44 B.c , 51, 76, 122, 123, 124

Calchas, a prophet in the Greek army before Troy, who foretold the length of the war, 89

Canidia, a witch in Horace, F3

Canopus, a city on the coast of Lower Eg\'pt, near the western mouth of the Nile, P6

Capitol, 88, 122

Cappadocian, 63

Capricomus, 35, 39

Capua, chief city of Campania; a Roman colony, 61

Carlo, a slave of Trimalchio, 70, 71

Carpus (Carver), a slave of Trimal- chio, 36, 40

Carthage, 55, 117

Cassandra, a prophetess in Troy whom Apollo, angry at her re- sistance to him, made the Trojans disbelieve, 52, 74

Cato, Marcus Uticensis, b. 95 B.C.; committed suicide at Utica, 46 B.C., after the defeat of the Pompeians by Caesar at Thapsus, 119, 132, 137

Caucasus, a chain of mountains running from the east of the Black Sea to the west of the Caspian, 123

Cerberus, the dog that guarded the entrance to Hades, Fd

Cerdo (Gain), a Lar or tutelary spirit of Trimalchio's house, with Felicio (Luck) and Lucrio (Profit), 60

Ceres, a eoddess of the earth and its fruits, 135, P3

Chrysanthus, a citizen of Cumae, 42

Chrysippus, of Soli, b. 280 B.C., a Stoic philosopher, 88

Chrysis, a woman of Croton, 128, , 129, 130, 131, 132, 138, 139

Cicero, Marcus TuUius, of Arpinum, orator, b. 106, d. 43 B.C., 3, 5, 55

Cinnamus, steward to Trimalchio, 30

Circe, a woman loved by Encolpius 127, 129, 130, 134

Cocvtus, one of the six rivers of Hades, 120, 121, 124

Colchis, in Asia: pheasants found on the banks of its principal river, the Phasis, were a favourite deli- cacy in Rome, 93

Corax, a servant of Encolpius, 117, 140

Corinth, 50, 119

Corinthian, 31 , 50

Corinthus, 50

Corycian; there were cities named Corycus in Ionia, Pamphylia, and CiUcia, P8

Cosmian, ste under Cosmus, F18

Cosmus, a celebrated perfumer, F18

Crab, 35, 39

Crassus, Marcus, sumamed Dives, famous for his wealth; triumvir with Caesar and Pompey 60 B.C., 120

Croesus, Trimalchio's favourite, 64

Croton, a town in Bruttium, where Pythagoras taught, and of which the athlete Milo was a native, 110, 124

Cumae, a town in Campania; the scene of Trimalchio's dinner, 63

Curio, 124 ; see note ad Ice.

Cyclops; Cyclopes were a race of giant one-eyed shepherds in Sicily whom Odjrsseus encoun- tered, 48, 97, 98

Cyllene, a moi'ntain on the fron- tier of Arcadia and .A.chaia, 124

Cynic; the Cynic school of philo- sophy was founded by An t is then es, a pupil of Gorgias and Socrates, 14 Cynthia, a name of Artemis, who was bom on Mount Cyntbus in Delos, 122 Cyrene, the chief city of Cyrenaiea, of which CalUmacbus was a native, 135

411

INDEX OF NAMES

Daedalus, father of Icarus, 52 Daedalus, Trimalchio's cook, 70,

74 Dama, a guest of Trimalchio, 41 Danae, see under Acrisius, 126, 137 Danube, P6 Daphne, a beautiful girl of Arcadia

who was pursued by Apollo and

changed into a laurel bush, 131 Delia, a name of Artemis, who was

born in Delos, P21 Deliacus, an epithet of Apollo, who

was born in Delos, 23 Delphi, a town in Phocis, the seat

of the most famous oracle of

Apollo, P18, 21 Delphic, 122 Democritus of Abdera, b. about

460 B.C., who with Leucippus

founded the atomic philosophy

which inspired Lucretius, 88 Demosthenes, the orator, b about

385 B.C., d. 322 B.C. , 2, 5 Diana, goddess of light and fruit- fulness, 59, 126 Dicarchis, 120 Diogenes, Caius Pompeius, a guest

of Trimalchio, 38 Diomede, son of Tydeus and

Deipyle, and king of Argos: he

took eighty ships to the siege of

Troy, 59 Dione, mother of Aphrodite by

Zeus, 124, 133 Dionysus, a slave of Trimalchio,

41 Dis is identified with Pluto, the god

of Hades, 120, 124 Doris, a mistress of Encolpius, 126 Dryads, tree nymphs, 133

Echion, a guest of Trimalchio, 45

Egyptian, 2, 35, F19

Encolpius, the narrator of the

Satyricon, 20, 91, 92, 94, 102,

104, 105, 109, 114 Ephesus, the greatest city of Asia

Minor, 70, 111 Epicurus, of Gargettus in Attica,

philosopher, b. 342, d. 270 B.C.,

104, 132

412

Epidamnus, the older name of Dyrrhachium, 124 ; see note ad loc.

Erebus, the darkness under the earth through which souls pass to Hades, 124

Ethiopians, 34

Eudoxus, of Cnidus,afourthcentury astronomer and geometer, pupil of Archytas and Plato whose prose work Phaenoraena was ver- sified by Aratus, 88

Eumolpus, an old poet, 90, 91, 92, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 107, 108, 109, 110, 113, 115, 117, 118, 124, 125, 132, 140

Euripides, of Athens, tragic poet, b. 480, d. 406 B.C., 2

Euscios, a character in the lost por- tion of Petronius, F8

Falemian, The Falernus Ager, in

Campania, was celebrated for its

wine, 21, 28, 34, 55 Fates, 29

Felicio (Luck) ; see under Cerdo, 60 Fortunata, wife of Trimalchio, 37,

47, 52, 54, 67, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74,

75,76

Gains, master of Niceros, 62 Gaius, praenomen of Trimalchio, 67,

74,75 Gallic, Fl Ganymede, son of Tros and Callir-

rhoe, carried off from Mount Ida

by an eagle to be the cupbearer

of Jupiter, 44, 59, 92 Gaul, 103, 122 Gauls, 122 Gavilla, a householder of Cumae,

61 German, 123 Germans, 122 Giants, children of Gfe, the earth,

who attempted to drive out the

Gods from Olympus, 123 Giton, companion of Encolpius and

Ascyltos, 9, 16, 18, 20, 24, 25, 26,

68, 60, 72, 73, 79, 91, 92, 93, 94,

INDEX OF NAMES

»6, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 104, 105, 106, 108, 109, 110, 113, 114, 115, 117, 123, 129, 130, 132, 133, 139 Glyco, a rich man of Cumae, 49 Gorgias, an undertaker in Croton, 141

Greek, 46, 48, 53, 59, 64, 76, 81, 83,

111, 122 Greeks, 38, 88, 89

H Habinnas, friend of Trimalchio, 65,

67, 68, 69, 71, 72, 74, 75, 77 Hammon, an oasis twelve days'

joomey from Memphis; the

famous oracle of Zeus Ammon

was established there, 119 Hannibal, b. 247 B.C., d. about

183 B.C.; leader of Carthage

against Rome in the Second

Punic War, 50, 101, 141 Harpies, daughters of Thaumas and

tte Oceanid Electra, birds with

women's faces, 136 Hecale, 135 ; see note ad loc. Hedyle, wife of Lichas, 113 Helen, wife of Menelaus, carried off

by Paris, a type of beauty, 59, 138 Helicon, a mountain range in

Boeotia, sacred to Apollo and the

Muses, 118 Hellespontine, an epithet of Priapus,

q.v., 139, F4 Hercules, son of Zeus and Alcmcne,

hero of twelve labours, 48, 83, 106.

122, 136, P28 Hermeros, a gladiator, 59 Hermogenes, father of Glyco's wife,

45 Hesperia, a Greek name for Italy

as the land to the west of Greece,

122 Hesus, a passenger on Lichas's ship,

104 Hippaachus, of Nicaea, a great

astronomer of the second century

B.C., 40 Homer, traditional author of the

Iliad and Odyssey, 2, 48, 59, 118 Horace, of Venusia in Apulia, lyric

poet, b. 65, d. 8 s.c, 118, F19, 22 Hybla, a town on the southern

slope of Mt. Aetna. P29

Hydaspes, the northernmost of the five tributaries of the Indus, 123

Hylas, accompanied Hercules, who loved hhn, with the Argonauts.

' On the coast of Mysia the Naiads , because of his beauty, drew him down into a fountain and drowned him, 83

Hypaepa, a city in Lydia, 133

Hyperides, an orator of the fourth century, pupil of Isocrates; d. 322 B.C., 2

Hyrcanian; Hjrrcania was a pro- vince of the Persian Empire south of the Caspian sea, 134

I Iberia, a Greek name of Spain, 121 Ida, a mountain range in the Troad,

from which Ganymede was carried

off by the eagle of Jupiter, 83, 89,

134 Iliad, 29 ; see under Homer Ilium, 50 Inachian, Inachus was the mythica

founder of Argos, and Heracles

was driven from Argos by the

wrath of Hera, 139 India, 38, P18 Indian, 135 Iphigenia, daughter of Agamemnon

and Clvtemnestra, 59 Italian, 114 Italy, 116

Jew, 69, P24

Jews, 103

Julius (Caesar), 120; see under

Caesar Juno, 25, 139 Jupiter, 44, 47, 51, 56, 68, 83, 88.

122, 123, 126, 127, 137

Labeo, Antistius, an eminent lawyer

of republican views, b. 54 b.c,

d. 17 A.D., 137 Laenas, donor of a gladia* rial

show, 29 Laocoon, priest of ApoUo in Troy,

413

INDEX OF NAMES

Laomeaon, king of Troy; Poseidon sent the sea to overflow the coun- try and a sea-monster to plague it, because Laomedoii cheated the Gods, 139

Lares, guardian spirits of the house, 60 ; see under Gain

Latin, 46, 48, 55, 59, P18

Leda, wife of Tyndareus, king of Sparta, and mother by Zeus of Helen and Castor and Pollux, 138

Lentulus ; see note on 123, 124

Lesbos, an island in the Aegean off the coast of Mysia, 133

Libra, 35, 39

Libya, 121

Libyan, 120

Lichas, a ship's captain, 10<, 101, 104, 105, 10«, 107, 109, 110, 113, 114, 115

Lucilius, b. 148, d. 103 B.C. ; author of Satires in thirty books, of which only fragments are extant, 4

Lucina, the goddess of childbirth, P17

Lucretia, wife of L. Tarquinius Col- latinus, was violated by Sextus Tarquinius, son of the tyrant L. Tarquinius Superbus. This is the traditional reason for the deposition of the tyrant and the establishment of the Roman Re- public, 9

Lucrine; the Lucrine Lake was a salt-water lake near the coast of Campania, famous for its oysters, 119

Lucrio (Profit); see under Cfcdo, 60

Lycurgus, 83, 117

Lydian, 133

Lysippus, a sculptor of the fourth century, whose works have perished. He was given the sole right of making statues of Alex- ander, 88

Macedonian, 86

Maecenas, the master by whom

Trimalchio was freed, 71 Maeonian, Homeric; one tradition

says that Homer was the son of

Maeon, 5 Magnus, a title conferred by Sulla

414

on Pompey after his defeat of the adherents of Marius in Africa, 81 B.C., 124

Mammaea, a rich citizen of Cumae, 45

Mantua, in Gallia Transpadana, near which was the birthplace of Virgil, q.v., F4

Marcellus, see note on 123, 124

Marcus Mannicius, owner of a lodging-house, 95

Margarita (Pearl), a dog belonging to Croesus, Tnmalchio's favourite, 46

Mars, 34, 55. 124, P23

Marsyas, a satyr who challenged Apollo to a musical contest, and on being defeated was flayed by him, 36

Martia, a girl whom Petronius loved, P20

Massa, a slave of Habinnas, 69

Massilia, the Greek city on whose site Marseilles stands, Fl, 4

Medea, daughter of Aietes, king of Colchis; mistress of Jason, whose children by her she killed when he deserted her, 108

Megaera, one of the Furies; the others are Tisiphone and Alecto, 124

Melissa, wife of Terentius, an inn- keeper, 61, 62

Memphis, a famous city of Middle Egypt, F19

Menecrates, a singer, 73

Menelaus, a tutor, 27, 81

Menophila, mistress of Philargyrus, a slave, 70

Mercury, 29, 67, 77, 140

Midas, king of Phrygia; he was judge in a musical contest be- tween Pan and Apdllo; on his preferring Pan, Ap'oilo gave him ass's ears; Midas hid the ears under a cap, but t^e servant who cut his hair found them and could not keep the secret^ P13

Minerva, 29

Mithridates, a slave of Trimalchio, 53

Mopsus, one of the Argonauts, a famous seer, 55

Mummius, 52

Muse, 135 ; see under Muses

Muses, the nine spirits who inspired astronomy, history, dancing, and poetry, 5, F20

INDEX OF NAMES

Myron, a sculptor of the fiith cen- tury, b. about 480 b.c. at Eleu- therae in Boeotia, 88

Naiad, a nymph of fresh water, 83

Naiads, Pll ; see under N'aiad

Naples, a city in Campania, F16

Nasta, a bailiff on Trimalchio's estate at Porapeii, 53

Nealce, a woman loved by Petro- nius, P26

Neptune, 76, 89, 104, 139, P3

Nereids, the fifty daughters of Nereus and Doris, sea-nymphs, F23

Nereus, son of Pontus and Gaea, an old man of the sea with the gift of prophecy, 139

Nicagoras, F25

Niceros, a friend of Trimalchio, 61, 63

Nile, 121, 134

Niobe, wife of Amphion, whose twelve children were killed by Apollo and Artemis because she boasted herself against their mother Leto. She was changed into a figure of stone which still wept for the children, 52

Norbanus, a rich man of Cumae, 45, 46

Noricum, a province lying between North Italy and the Danube, celebrated for its iron manufac- tures, 70

Numantia, a town in Hispania Tarraconensis, 141

Numidia, a Roman province in Northern Africa, 117

Nymph, 83 ; see under Nymphs

Nymphs, spirits of waters, moun- tains, and trees, 133

Odyssey, 29 ; see under Homer

Oenothea, a woman of Croton, 134, 135, 13«. 138

Olympus, a mountain range bound- ing Thessaly and Macedonia, the traditional home of the Gods, 58, 123

Opimius, 34 ; see n. ad loc.

Palamedes, 66

Palatine, the central hill of Rome, on which the fortress of Romulus was said by tradition to have been buUt, 123

Pales, goddess of flocks and shep- herds, P3

Pallas, a name of Ath6n6, 124, P3, 8

Pannychis, a child attendant on Quartilla, 25

Pansa, a rich man who left slaves to Trimalchio, 47

Parentium, a town in Istria, 59

Paris, son of Priam and Hecuba, husband of Oenone, and lover of Helen, 138

Paros, one of the Cyclades Islands in the Aegean, famous for its marble, which was obtained chiefly from Mount Marpessa, 126

Parthenope, a name of Naples, which was founded on the site of an ancient town called Parthenope, 120

Parthian, 120

Patavium, now Padua, in North Italy, the birthplace of Livy, F4

Pegasus, the winged horse of Beller ophon, 36

Pelias, usurping king of lolcus of- fended Juno by sacrilege, which at last wrought his undoing as she assisted Jason in his quest of the golden fleece, 139

Penelope, wife of Odysseus, P14

Pentheus, 47 ; see note ad loc.

Pergamum, in Asia Minor, capital of the Roman province of Asia, 85

Persian, 119

Petelia, a town on the east coast of Bruttium, 141

Petraites, a gladiator, 52, 71

Petronius, author of the Satyricon, quoted as author of isolated words and phrases, Fl, 2, 3, 5, 5b, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, U, 15, 16, 17, 18, 20, 22, 23, 25

Phasis, 93, 119 ; see under Colchis

Phidias, b. about 490, d. 432 B.C.; the most celebrated sculptor of the fifth century, 88

Philargynis, a slave of Trimalchio, 70

41S

INDEX OF NAMES

Phileros, a rich barrister in Cumae, 43, 44, 46

Philippi, 121 ; see note ad loc.

Philomela and Procne, were daugh- ters of Pandion, king of Attica. Tereus married Procne, but later ravished Philomela and cut out her tongue. When the rape was discovered he tried to kill the sisters, but Philomela was turned into a nightingale, Procne into a swallow, and he into a hoopoe, 140

Phineus, king of Salmydessus, on account of his cruelty to his sons was tortured by the Harpies, who carried off or defiled his food, 136

Phoebe, 89

Phoebus, 109, 122, 124, 134, F20, P2, PS, P6, P17, P21

Phrygian, 70

Pindar, lyric poet, of Thebes, b. about 522, d. about 442 B.C., 2

Pisces, 35, 39

Plato, philosopher, of Athens, b. 428, d. 347 B.C., 2

Plocamus, a guest of Trimalchio, 64

Polyaenus, a name taken by Encol- pius in Croton, 127, 129, 130

Pompeii, a Roman colony in Cam- pania, 53

Pompey, statesman and general, b. 106, d. 48 B.C., 120, 123, 124

Pontus, the Black Sea, 123

Praxiteles, of Athens, sculptor, b. about 390 b.c, 126

Priam, king of Troy, 89

Priapus, child of Aphrodite and Dionysus, spirit of fertility and increase, especially worshipped in towns on the Hellespont, 17, 21, 60, 104, 137, 139, F4

Primigenius, son of Echion, a guest of Trimalchio, 46

Procne, 131 ; see under Philomela

Proculus, Caius Julius, a guest of Trimalchio, 38

Proselenos, a servant of Encolpius in Croton, 132, 137

Protesilaus, a Thessalian slain before Troy. At the entreaty of his wife Laodamia Hermes led him back from death for three hours, and when he returned Laodamia died also, 140

416

Proteus, an old man of the sea who had the gift of prophecy and the power of transforming himself, 134

Protogenes, of Caunus in Caria, a celebrated painter of the fourth century b.c, 83

Psyche, maid to Quartilla, 20, 21 25,26

Publilius, 55; see note ad loc.

Q Quartilla, a woman devotee of

Priapus in Cumae, 16, 17, 19, 20,

21, 23, 24, 25, 26 Quiris, F22 Quirites, F22

Ram, 35

Rhine, 122

Roman, 5, 28, 57, 92, 118, 119, 120,

123 Rome, 29, 69, 70, 71, 76, 119, 120,

121, 122, 123, 124 Romulus, the traditional founder of

Rome, P9

Safinius, a prominent orator in Cumae, 44

Sagittarius, 35, 39

Saguntum, a town in Spain, 141

Saturn, 122

Saturnalia, a festival in honour of Saturn, as the mythical king who brought agriculture and a new morality to primitive Italy, 58, 69

Scaurus, a friend of Trimalchio, 77

Scintilla, wife of Habinnas, 66, 67 , 69, 70, 74, 75

Scipio, Publius Cornelius S. Aemili- anus Africanus Minor; captured Carthage and made Africa a Roman province 146 B.C.; sur- named Numantius after his suc- cesses in Spain 133 b.c; he op- posed the reforms of the Gracchi and was murdered by their party, 129 B.c, 141

Scissa, a rich woman of Cumae, 65

Scorpio, 35, 39

Scylax, Trimalchio's house-dog, 64

Seleucus, a friend of Trimalchio, 42

INDEX OF NAMES

Senate, 88

Serapa, a Greek fortune-teller, 76

Servius, an eminent lawyer, 137

Sibyl, the title of a prophetess; the Sibyl of Cumae, whom Aeneas con- sulted before he visited Hades, was the most famous of these women, 48

Sicilian, 21

SicUy, 48, 114, 119

Sinon, son of Sisyphus, the Greek who persuaded the Trojans to take the wooden horse into Troy, 89

Sirens, singing maidens said to in- habit islands ofi the coast of Cam- pania, whose song charmed all men, 127

Socrates, son of Sophroniscus, a sculptor, and Phaenarete, a mid- wife, of Attica; philosopher and teacher; b. 469, d. 399 B.C., 128, 140

Socratic, 5

Sophocles, of Colonus, tragic poet, b. 495, d. 406 B.C., 2

Spanish, 66

Spartan, 5, 40, 105

Stichus, a slave of Trimalchio, 77, 78

Stygian ; Styi is one of the six rivers of Hades, 121, 124

Stymphalus, a town in Arcadia, with a lake beside which lived the man-eating birds whose destruc- tion was one of the twelve labours of Hercules, 136

Sulla, Lucius Felix, b. 138 B.C., be- came dictator after defeating the party of Marius in 82, reformed the constitution in the aristocratic interest after proscribing and putting to death his prominent enemies, retired 79, and d. 78 B.C., 120

Swiss, 19

Syrians, 22

Syrtis, a quicksand on the North coast of Africa, 93

Syrns, an actor, 62

Tantalus, king of Lydia, father of Niob« and Pelops; the cause of

his punishment in Hades was an insult to the Gods of which ac- counts vary, 82 Tarentum, tlie principal city of "Magna Graecia, on the west coast of Calabria, 38, 48, 61, 100, 101 Tarquin, 9 ; see under Lucretia Tartarus, the place of punishment

in Hades, 124 Telephus, 139 ; see note ad loc.

Tenedos, an island in the Aegean sea ofi the coast of Troas, 89

Terentius, an inn-keeper, 61

Terracina, a Roman colony on the coast of Latium, 48

Thasos, an island ofi the coast oi Thrace, 133

Theban, 80

Thessalian, 89

Thessaly, 121, 124

Thrace, 55

Thracian, 45, 75

Thucydides, of Athens, historian, b. 471, d. probably in the first years of the fourth century, 2

Tiryns, an ancient city of Argolis; Hercules lived there while he was performing his labours for Eurys- theus of Mycenae, 124, 139

Tisiphone, one of the Furies, 120 121

Titus, a rich citizen of Cumae, 45

Trimalchio, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39, 40, 41, 47, 48, 49, 50, 52, 53, 54, 55, 57, 59, 60, 61, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 78, 79

Tritonis; Athene, the guardian of Athens, was sometimes said to have been bom at Tritonis, in Libya, 5

Trivia, a name of Hecate as moon- goddess, F20

Trojan, 52, 59, 108

Trojans, 89

Troy, 89

Tryphaena, a courtesan, 100, 101, 104, 105, 106, 108, 109, 110, 113 114

Tnllia, a character in the lost portion of Petronius, F17

Twins, 35

Tyrian, 30

417

INDEX OF NAMES

Ulysses, son of Laertes and Anticlea ; husband of Penelope and hero of the Odyssey, 39, 48, 97, 105, 132, 134, 139, P14

Virgil, of Andes, near Mantua, author of the Eclogues, Georgics, and Aeneid, b. 70, d. 19 B.C., 68, 118

Virgo, 39

Vesta, the Italian goddess of the

hearth, P9 Venus, 29, 68, 85, 127, 128, 138, P23

Zeuxis, of Heraclea, a celebrated painter of the fifth century, born between 450 and 440 B.C., 83

Zodiac. 35

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AENEAS TACTICUS, ASCLEPIODOTUS AND ONASANDER.

The Illinois Club, ACHILLES TATIUS. S. Gaseleo. AESCHINES. C, D. Adams. AESCHYLUS. H. Weir Smyth. 2 Vols. VoL I. APOI.LODORUS. Sir James O. Frazer. 2 Vols. APOLLONIUS RHODIUS. R. C. Seaton. {3rd Imp.) THE APOSTOLIC FATHERS. Kirsopp Lake. 2 Vols. (VoL I,

4«A Imp. Vol. II, 3rd Imp.) APPIAN'S ROMAN HISTORY. Horace White. 4 Vols. ARISTOPHANES. Beniamiii Bickley Rogers. 3 Vols. [G. R. Mair. CALLIMACHUS AND LYCOPHRON. A. W. Mair ; and ARATUS. CLEMENT OF ALEXANDRIA. Rev. G. W. Butterworth. DAPHNIS AND CHLOE. Thornley's Translation revised by J. M.

Edmonds; and PARTUENIUS. S. Gaselee. &nd Imp.) DIO CASSIUS : ROMAN HISTORY. E. Gary. 9 Vols. Vols. I to

VII. EURIPIDES. A. S. Way. 4 Vols. (Vols. I and 11, 4U /nip. VoL

III, 2nd Imp. Vol. IV, 3rd Imp.) GALEN: ON THE NATURAL FACULTIES. A J. Brock. TBE GREEK ANTHOLOGY. W. R. Paton. 5 Vols. (Vols. land

111, 2nd Imo. Vol. II, 3rd Imp.) THE GREEK BUCOLIC POETS (THEOCRITUS, BION, MOS-

CHUS). J. M. Edmonds, (ith Imp.) HERODOTUS. A. D. Godley. 4 Vols. HESIOD AND THE HOMERIC HYMNS. H. G. Evelyn White.

(2nd Imp.) HIPP0CBATE8. W. H. S. Jones. 4 Vols. Vols. I and II. HOMER: ILIAD. A.T.Murray. 2 Vols. HOMER: ODYSSEY. A.T.Murray. 2 Vols. {2nd Imp.) JULIAN. Wilmer Cave Wright. 3 Vols. LUCIAN. A. M. Harmon. 8 Vols. Vols. I to IV. (Vols. I and II,

2nd Imp.) LYRA GRAECA. J. M. Edmonds. 3 Vols. Vols. 1 and II. MARCUS AURELIUS. C.R.Haines. {27id Imp.) MENANDER. F. G. AUinson. PAUSANIAS : DESCRIPTION OF GREECE. W. H. S, Jones. 6

Vols, and Companion Vol. Vol. 1. PHILOSTRATUS : THE LIFE OF APOLLONIUS OF TYANA.

F. C. Conybeare. 2 Vols. (27id Imp.) PHILOSTRATUS AND EUNAPIUS, LIVES OF THE SOPHISTS.

Wilmer Cave Wright.

Greek JiuihoTs .

(Continued.)

PINDAB. SirJ.E. Sandys. (Snt/mp.) „

PLATO: EUFHVPHRO. APOLORV, CRITO, PRAEDO, PHAED-

KUS. H. N. Fowler, (i'h Imp.) PLATO: LACHES, PROTAORAS, MENO, EUTHYDEMUS.

W. B. M. Lamb. ,„„

PLATO : POLITICUS AND PHILBBUS. H. N. Fowler. ION.

W. R. M. Lamb. „

PLATO : THEAETETUS AND SOPHIST. H. N.Fowler. [to X. PLUTARCH : THE PARALLEL LIVES. B. Perrin. U Vols, Vols. I POLYBIUS. W. R. Paton. 6 Vol.«. Vols. I to IV. PROCOPIUS : HISTORY OF THE WARS. H. B. Dewing. 7Vo1b.

Vols. I to TV. QUINTUS SMYRNAEUS. A. S. Way.

SOPHOCLES. F. Storr. 2 Vols. (Vol. I, ith Imp. VoL II, 3rd Imp.) ST. JOHN DAMASCENE: BARLAAM AND lOASAPH. Rer.

G. B. Woodward and Harold Mattingly. STBABO: GEOGRAPHY. Horace L. Jones. 8 Vols. Vols. I to in. THEOPHRASTUS : ENQUIRY INTO PLANTS. Sir Arthur Hort, THUCVDIDES. C.F.Smith. 4 Vols. [Bart. 2 Vols.

XENOPHON : CYROPAEDIA. Walter Miller. 2 Vols. XENOPHON : HELLENICA, ANABASIS, APOLOGY, AND

SYMPOSIUM. C- L. Brownson and O. J. Todd. 3 Vols. XENOPHON: MEMORABILIA OECONOMICUS. E. C. Marchant. XENOPHON: SCRIPTA MINORA. B. C. Marchant.

IN PREPARATION

Qreek Authors.

ARISTOTLE, NICOMACHEAN ETHICS, H. Rackhim.

ARISTOTLE, ORGANON, W. M. L. Hutchinson.

ARISTOTLE, PHYSICS, Rer. P. Wickstee<l.

ARISTOTLE, POETICS AND LONGINUS, W. Hamilton Fyf«.

ARISTOTLE, POLITICS AND ATHENIAN CONSTITUTION,

Kdward Capps. ARISTOTLE, RHETORIC, J. Freese. ATHENAEUS, C. B. Gulick. DEMOSTHENES, DE CORONA AND DE FALSA LKGATIONB,

C. A. Vince and J. H. Vince. DEMOSTHENES: OLYNTHIACS, PHILIPPICS, LEPTINBS

ANn MINOR SPEECHES, J. H. Vince. DEMOSTHENES, PRIVATE ORATIONS, G. M. Calhonn. DIO CHRYSOSTOM, W E. Waters. DIOGENES, LAERTIUS, R. D. Hicks, EPICTETUS, W. A. Oldfather. EUSEBIUS, Kirsopp Lake.

GREEK IAMBIC and ELEGIAC POETS. E.D.Perry. IS.iEUS, E. W. Forster, ISOCBATES, G. Norlin.

Qreek Authors.

{Continued.)

JOSEPHUS, H. St. J. Thackeray.

MANETHO, S. de Ricci.

PAPYRI, A. S, Hunt.

PHILOSTRATUS, IMAGINES, Arthur Fairbanks.

PLATO, CRATYLLS, PARMENIDES, HIPPIAS MAIOR,

HIPPIAS MINOR, H. N. Fowler. PLATO, LAWS, R. G. Bury

PLATO, LYSIS, SYMPOSIUM, GORGIAS, W. R. M. Lamb. PLATO, MENEXENUS, ALCIBIADES I and II, ERASTAI,

THEAGES, CHAEMIDES, MINOS, EPINOMIS, W. B. M.

Lamb. PLATO, REPUBLIC, Paul Shorey. PLUTARCH, MORALIA, F. C. Babbitt. ST. BASIL, LETTERS, R. J. Deferrari. SEXTUS EMPIRICUS, A. C. Pearson. THEOPHRASTUS, CHARACTERS, J. M. Edmonds; HERODAS;

HIEROCLES PHILOGELOS ; CHOLIAMBIC FRAGMENTS;

CEEEIDES NAUMACHIS j SOTADES, etc., A. D. Knox.

Latin Authors.

AULUS GELLIUS, J. C. Rolfe.

BEDE. ECCLESIASTICAL HISTORY, Rev. H. F. Stewart.

CICERO, AD FAMILIARKS, W. Glyn Williams.

CICERO, IN CATILINAM, PRO MURENA, PRO FLACCO, PRO

SULLA, B. L. Oilman. CICERO, DB NATURA DEORUM, H. Raokham. CICERO, DE ORATORE' ORATOR, BRUTUS, Charles Stuttaford. CICERO, DE REPUBLICA AND DE LEGIBUS, Clinton Keyes. CICERO, PHILIPPICS, W. C. Kerr. CICERO, PRO CAECINA, PRO LEGE MANILIA, PRO CLUENTIO,

PRO RABIRIO, H. Grose Hodge. CICERO, TUSCULAN DISPUTATIONS, J. King. CICERO, IN VERREM, L. H. G. Greenwood. HORACE, EPISTLES AND SATIRES, H. E. Fairclough. LUCAN, J. D. Duff. OVID, FASTI, Sir J. G. Frazer.

PLINY, NATURAL HISTORY, W. H. S. Jones and L. F. Newman. ST. AUGUSTINE, MINOR WORKS, Eer. P. Wicksteed. SENECA, MORAL ESSAYS, J. W. Basore. SIDONIUS, LETTERS, E. V. Arnold. STATIUS, I. H. Mozley. TACITUS, ANNALS, John Jackson. TACITUS, HISTORIES, C. H. Moore. VALERIUS FLACCUS, A. F, Scholfield.

DESCRIPTIVE PROSPECTUS ON APPLICATION

London - ■ WILLIAM HEINEMANN, LTD.

New York - - - - G. PUTNAM'S SONS

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