Specimens of Macaronic Poetry
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Specimens of Macaronic Poetry (1831) is a collection of macaronic poetry edited by William Sandys [1] and printed by Richard Beckley.
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Full text of "Specimens of macaronic poetry"
SPECIMENS
OF
Jftacaronfc
LONDON : RICHARD BECKLEY, 42, PICCADILLY. 1831.
PH
LONDON :
PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTI,EY, Dorset Street, Fleet Street.
INTRODUCTION.
THE following collection comprises the best specimens of Macaronic poetry, containing a few that are but little known ; and although in some instances the difficult na- ture of the composition may be the principal recommenda- tion to notice, yet in others will be found genuine wit and humour. The substance of this introduction has already appeared in the Gentleman's Magazine in the course of last year.
Previously to mentioning the Macaronic authors, it may not be out of character to refer shortly to some other pecu- liar and affected styles of writing, having some affinity to their labours. Many of the examples will probably be familiar to the reader, and others will readily suggest themselves.
The classic writers contain specimens of accidental alli- teration, as
'Ev tibia treraXrTfl, roA/j i^t^tfuv avfyutrav.
Homer. E<ra>pa, er , as 'iffatriv 'EXX^v&v OITOI.
Medea, Euripid.
Infans naraque pudor prohibebat plura profari. -
Horace.
Libera lingua loquuntur ludis liberalibus.
Ncevius.
Nor must we overlook Cicero's unlucky line, O fortunatam natam me consule Ilomam,
which, with the satirist's remark upon it, is well known to the readers of Juvenal, though probably only to a small
11 INTRODUCTION.
portion of those who are so fond of using the "si sic orania."
But affected alliteration alone is akin to the present purpose, as the line of Ennius
O Tite, tute, Tati, tibi tanta, Tyranne, tulisti : to which may be added,
Machina multa minax minitatur maxima muris ; and
At Tuba terribili tonitru taratantara trusit.
The following are attributed to Person :
Cane decane cane, ne tu cane cane decane, De cane sed canis cane decane cane.
The lines on Cardinal Wolsey are old acquaintance.
Begot by butchers, but by bishops bred,
How high his Highness holds his haughty head !
The lipogrammatists were writers who excluded some particular letter of the alphabet from their compositions, like skilful chess-players giving up a piece to an inferior antagonist. Of these, Tryphiodorus, a Greek poet and grammarian of Egypt, in the sixth century, was the most laborious. Anxious to outdo Homer, he wrote a poem on the destruction of Troy, in twenty-four books, from the first of which the was carefully excluded; from the second book the /3, and so on through the alphabet. D'ls- raeli, in his " Curiosities of Literature," mentions a prose work by Fulgentius, in twenty-three chapters, wherein a similar system of exclusion is adopted for the Latin alpha- bet : also an ode of Pindar, where the letter ? is pur- posely omitted ; and five novels by Lopes de Vega, the first of which is without the letter a, the second without e, &c. Gregorio Leti presented a discourse to the Academy of the Humorists at Rome, wherein the letter r was ex- cluded ; and a friend having requested a copy as a literary curiosity, he replied by a copious answer of seven pages, written in the same manner. An anecdote given by D'ls- raeli, after stating that the Orientalists have this literary folly, may illustrate these lipogrammatists.
INTRODUCTION. Ill
" A Persian poet read to the celebrated Jami a gazel of his own composition, which Jami did not like : but the writer replied, it was, notwithstanding, a curious sonnet, for the letter Aliffwas not to be found in any one of the words ! Jami sarcastically replied, ' You can do a better thing yet take away all the letters from every word you have written.' "
In the Anthologia Graeca, edit. H. Steph. i. 58, are poems in praise of Bacchus, and . of Apollo, on a different plan. They consist of twenty-four lines, each word in the first line beginning with , in the second line with /3, and so on, e. gr. (from poem to Bacchus.)
Eis Bax^an.
MsAcriWjtt'v QuffiKrta, <pi%.vviov, eigcKfiuTnv, A@goxoft.nv, uygo7xov, xaioiftav, ayXaopagfev, Baiturav, fyoftiov, pttx%tVTiga, Pargua%air>iv t Tn6offVMOf, yavaivrct) yiyavraXiTtiv, yiXotuvrec, Aiayivw, ^tyovav, diSu^afn-^ayivrt, oiovutrov, &C.
There are some English lines in the same style, ridicu- ling the siege of Belgrade, beginning
An Austrian army awfully array'd, Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade.
Lord North, a polished courtier in the time of James the First, wrote a set of sonnets, each beginning with a succes- sive letter of the alphabet. A pedantic specimen appears in the Bannatyne Ancient Scottish Poems, being one of the stanzas from " Ane New Yere Gift, To the Quene, quhen scho come first hame, 1562," by Alexander Scott.
Fresch, fulgent, flurist, fragrant flour, formois, Lantern to lufe, of ladeis lamp and lot, Cherie maist chaist, cheif charbucle and chois ; Smaill sweit smaragde, smelling but smit of smot ; Noblest natour, nurice to nurtour not, This dull indyte, dulce, dowble dasy deir, Sent be thy sempill servand Sanderis Scott, Greiting grit God to grant thy Grace guid year.
This sort of absurdity is humorously exposed by Ken- nedy in his invective addressed to Dunbar. St. 37.
Deilbeir, thy speir of weir, but feir thow yeild, Hangit, mangit, eddir-stangit, stryndie stullorum ; B 2
IV INTRODUCTION.
To me, maist he, Kennedie, and flie the field, Pickit, wickit, strickit, convickit, lamp luttardorum, Diffamit, schamit, blamit primus Paganorum; Out, out, I schout, upon that snout that snevellis, Tail- teller, rebellar, mdwellar with the divellis, Spink, sink, with stink ad Tartara Termagorum.
After this jargon it may be allowable, as a relief, to in- troduce a song founded on the peculiarity of the Newcastle burr, published in a provincial collection in December 1791. It purports to be an address from one of the rooks, which then built their nests on the vane of the Exchange, to the good people of Burcastle.
Rough roll'd the roaring river's stream,
And rapid ran the rain, When Robert Rutter dreamt a dream,
Which rack'd his heart with pain : He dreamt there was a raging bear
Rush'd from the rugged rocks ; And strutting round with horrid stare,
Breath'd terror to the brocks.* But Robert Rutter drew his sword,
And rushing forward right, The horrid creature's thrapple gor'd,
And barr'd his rueful spite. Then, stretching forth his brawny arm
To drag him to the stream, He grappled grizzle, rough and warm,
Which rouz'd him from his dream.
Even the learned Aldhelm indulges in some curious fan- cies. In the Preface to his poem De Laude Virginum, consisting of thirty-eight lines, the first and last lines con- tain the same words, but in the last they are retrograde. The respective lines begin with the successive letters of the first line, and finish with those of the last line : thus, the first and last lines, and the collected initial and final letters of the lines, consist of the same words ; but in the last line they occur backwards, and the final letters must be read upwards. There is a curiously complicated acrostick cross by Rabanus, containing thirty-five lines, and each of them thirty-five letters; but to explain this properly,
- Badgers.
INTRODUCTION. V
would require a plan or copy. This cross will remind the reader of the fantastically shaped poems mentioned in the Spectator, as axes, altars, eggs, &c. of which a Greek poet called Theodoric, is said to have been the inventor. Nash, in his invective against Gabriel Harvey, says, " he had writ verses in all kinds ; in form of a pair of gloves, a pair of spectacles, and a pair of pothooks, &c. Mr. Warren, of No. 30, Strand, should take a hint from this and treat the public with a set of verses in honour of his "shining river" of blacking in the shape of a boot-jack. Anagrams are sometimes ingenious, but generally in prose, and there- fore foreign to the present purpose. They will remind us of the numerous beings now to be met with, especially east of Charing Cross, with their hands in their coat- pockets, and arms a-kimbo: all the limbs are there, but not in the right places. We may consider them as peri- patetic anagrams of gentlemen I was about to add; but gentlemen do not walk in this way. There is a well-known story in The Spectator, of a lover of Lady Mary Boon, who, after six months' hard study, contrived to anagrammatize her as Moll Boon ; and upon being told by his mistress, in- dignant at such a metamorphosis, that her name was Mary Bohun, he went mad.
Rhopalic verses (from po-raXav, the club of Hercules) begin with a monosyllable, and gradually increase, as,
Rem tibi confeci, doctissime, dulcisonoram. Spes Deus asternae stationis conciliator. And,
Ex quibus insignis pulcherrima Deiopeia.
Ifty. Also,
T n P.KXU.P Areti^ii potg'n'yins, okio$Kiftav,
11. y. 182.
The following line is the reverse.
Vectigalibus armamenta referre jubet Rex.
Another class consists of Palindromes, (from rx/y and l^apta) sometimes called Sotadic verses, from Sotades, who is said to have invented them : though a higher authority is sometimes given, as the first specimen, according to one account, was the extemporary effusion of an unfortunate demon, when carrying most unwillingly, a certain portly
VI INTRODUCTION.
canon of Combremer, from Bayeux to Rome. It reads the same, whether backwards or forwards,
Signa te, signa, temere me tangis et angis, Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor.
Other examples are,
Si bene te tua laus taxat, sua laute tenebis.
Sole medere pede, ede, perede melos. Also,
Et necat eger amor non Roma rege tacente, Roma reges una non anus eger amor,
where the word non serves as a pivot.
In the following line, every word is a palindrome : Odo tenet mulum, mappam madidam tenet Anna.
There is a well-known Greek inscription, occurring on the font at Sandbach in Cheshire, and other places, among which, it is said, is the Church of St. Sophia at Constan- tinople.
N/i^av u.va/j,r,[/.KTa,, p,* f&ovav H-^H.
A lawyer once chose for his motto " Si nummi immu- nis." And in the time of Queen Elizabeth, a noble lady who had been forbidden to appear at Court in consequence of some suspicions against her, took for the device on her seal, the Moon, partly obscured by a Cloud, and the motto, " Ablata at alba." Taylor, the water poet, writes,
Lewd did I live and evil I did dwel.
There is an enigma occasionally to be found in Ladies' Albums, in which the initials of five palindromic words are to be sought for to form the required answer : they may be discovered with little attention :
First find out a word that doth silence proclaim, And that backwards and forwards is always the same, Then next you must find out a feminine name, That backwards and forwards is always the same ; An act, or a writing on parchment, whose name Both backwards and forwards is always the same ; A fruit that is rare, whose botanical name Read backwards and forwards is always the same ;
INTRODUCTION. VU
A note used in music, which time doth proclaim, And backwards and forwards is always the same ; Their initials connected, a title will frame, That is justly the due of the fair married dame, Which backwards and forwards is all the same.
Another invention is, that of verses, which may be read either forwards or backwards, and in the latter case general- ly containing a meaning quite the reverse of the former, and possessing sarcasm or satire. This is sometimes called Verse Lyon, said to have been invented, or frequently made use of, by Sidonius. The following have been fre- quently cited, as specimens of the style ; written in praise of Pope Clement VI. or Pius II. but of which, learned authorities do not agree. It seems that the poet was afraid he might not obtain such a reward, as according to his own estimate he deserved, and therefore retained the power of converting his flattery into abuse, by simply giving his friends their cue, to commence from the last word and read backwards.
Pauperibus tua das gratis, nee munera curas
Curia Papalis, quod modo percipimus. Laus tua, non tua fraus, virtus non copia rerum,
Scandere te faciunt, hoc decus eximmm. Conditio tua sit stabilis, nee tempore parvo
Vivere te faciat hie Deus ommpotens.
Of a similar description are these three distichs by Du Bellay, a French poet.
Ad Julium III. Pontificem Maximum. Pontifici sua sint Divino Numine tuta
Culmina, nee montes hos petat Omnipotens.
Ad Carolum V. Ccesarem. Caesareum tibi sit felici sidere nomen, Carole, nee fatum sit tibi Caesareum.
Ad Ferdinandum Romanorum Regem. Romulidum bone Rex, magno sis Caesare major, Nomine, nee fatis, aut minor imperio.
A complete specimen appears in a line applicable either to Cain or Abel, being also hexameter one way, and penta- meter the other. Abel says,
Sacrum pingue dabo, nee macrum sacrificabo.
viii INTRODUCTION.
To which Cain replies,
Sacrificabo macrum, nee dabo pingue sacrum.
The following line is of similar efficacy, applied by two persons disputing on religion. One says,
Patrum dicta probo, nee sacris belligerabo. The other answers,
Belligerabo sacris, nee probo dicta Patrum.
Other examples may be found in French and English : in the latter language there is one, I think, on the Vicar of Bray. These remind us of the prints where, by a little management, the representation of a face is preserved either way ; looking very amiable, perhaps, when viewed direct, but quite the reverse if turned topsy-turvy, or topside t'other way, according to the most approved etymology.*
Haydn, amongst other playful ebullitions of fancy, has introduced into one of his Symphonies a minuet and trio, which are first to be played in the regular way, and then repeated backwards.
Some writers have constructed or selected Virgilian and Homeric centos, wherein portions of the Old or New Testa- ment are related in lines taken entirely from Virgil or Homer. Another ambitious genius signalized himself by inserting a pentameter verse after every line of Homer. Echo verses, and various other poetical fantasies might be described if necessary, but it is time to refer to Macaronic Poetiy, from which this Introduction hitherto has been a complete digression.
This species of writing is thus described by Folengi, one of the best authors of the class : " Ars ista poetica nuncu- patur ars Macaronica, a Macaronibus derivata : qui Maca-
- This same etymology, like some of Izaak Walton's fish,
requires delicate handling. As a specimen, it will prove most satisfactorily that the word perriwig, notwithstanding the old story of pilus, pelutus, &c. is derived from the Cornish words, Pyr ha veag, literally signifying round and hollow. The thing containing, being put, 1 suppose, by figure, for the thing con- tained.
INTRODUCTION. IX
rones sunt quoddam pulmentum, farina, caseo, butyro com- paginatum ; grossum, rude, et rusticanum. Ideo Macr.- ronica nil nisi grossedinem, ruditatem, et Vocabulezzos, debet in se continere." The Italian word Macchcrone sig- nifies a pudding-paled fellow. Dr. Geddes says, " It is the characteristic of a Macaronic poem to be written in Latin hexameters; but so as to admit occasionally ver- nacular words, either in their native form, or with a Latin inflexion. Other licences, too, are allowed, in the measure of the lines, contrary to the strict rules of prosody." It is curious that Dr. Geddes should have broken through his own rule as to the metre of the Macaronic muse in the ode hereafter printed. There is a treatise " De Latini- tate Macaronica," by Bidermann ; but not having met with it, I am unacquainted with its style or intention.
The subject is of too light a nature to demand any bib- liographical account of the different writers and their pro- ductions ; how many eighths of an inch of margin one edi- tion has more than another ; which are presq'introuvalle ; libri rarissimi ; uncut copies ; printed on vellum ; privately printed ; on pink, blue, or coquelicot coloured paper ; if any have the rare good fortune to possess a word or two printed upside down ; or contain any other invaluable defect in the eyes of book collectors. Those persons who wish to study the subject critically and bibliographically, and can read German, will find ample information in " Ge- schichte der Macaronischen Poesie," by Dr. F. W. Genthe. Leipsic, 1829. 8vo. The present sketch, with its examples, only professes to offer a little amusement in one of those leisure half-hours (what the Cornish call "touch-pipe") that will occur in the life of the most laborious student. In this intellectual age, when things are conducted on principles somewhat similar to the kingdom of Laputa, and boys are taught the philosophy of their hoops and marbles before allowed to use them, this compilation must be content to take rank with the lucubrations of Mr. Joseph Miller.
Macaronic poetry was much in vogue in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. There are indeed some poems in Baudius, with a mixture of the Greek and Latin lan- guages; and as early as the. twelfth century quaint mixtures of English, Latin, and French, may be found in the monk-
X INTRODUCTION.
ish writers; but these cannot be considered Macaronic. Ducange mentions Epistolae Farcitae, composed in mixed Latin and Gallic idiom. Walter Mapes, the facetious Archdeacon of Oxford in the time of Henry the Second, and Golias, whoever he was, were great manufacturers of burlesque Latin, but cannot be classed with Macaronic writers ; still, a short specimen of Mapes may be allowed to show hisfacete style.
Suum cuique proprium dat natura munus, Ego minquam potui scribere jejunus : Me jejunum vincere posset puer unus. Sitim et jejunium, odi tanquam funus.
Unicuique proprium dat natura donum, Ego versus faoiens, vinum bibo bonum, Et quod habent melius dolia cauponum, Tale vinum general copiam sermonum.
Tales versus facio, quale vinum bibo, Nihil possum scribere, nisi sumpto cibo, Nihil valet penitus, quod jejunus scribo, Nasonem post calices carmine praibo.*
These lines have nothing Macaronic about them, but are rhyming Latin, on which subject an interesting little work has recently been published by Sir A. Croke. They will however bring to recollection an amusing burlesque of the old monkish Latin legends introduced into Whistle- craft's (Hon. J. H. Frere's) National Work, and its merit will excuse this further digression.
Erant rumores et timores varii ;
Dies horroris et confusionis Evenit in calendis Januarii,
Gigantes, semen maledictionis, Nostri potentes impii adversarii,
Irascebantur campanarum sonis, Honi secunda centum tres gigantes Venerunt ante januam ululantes.
At fratres pleni desolationis,
Stabant ad necessarium presidium,
Perterriti pro vitis et pro bonis,
Et perduravit hoc crudele obsidium,
" Camden's Remains, 4to. 1614. pp. 337-8.
INTRODUCTION. XI
Nostri claustralis pauperis Sionis,
Ad primum diem proximorum Iduum ; Tune in triumpho fracto tintinnabulo, Gigantes ibant alibi pro pabulo.
Sed frater Isodorus decumbebat
In lecto per tres mensas brachio fracto,
Nam lapides Mangonellus jaciebat, Et fregit tintinnabulum lapide jacto ;
Et omne vicinagium destruebat, Et nihil relinquebat de intacto,
Ardens molinos, casas, messuagia,
Et alia multa damna atque outragia.
The first writer in the Macaronic style of whom we have any account was Typhis Odaxius, or rather Tin degli Odasj, who composed about the end of the fifteenth cen- tury " Carmen Macaronicum de Patavinis quibusdam arte magica delusis." 4to. without place or date, catchwords, or signatures. " Libellus longe rarissimus." There were several editions, of which all are equally rare.
About the same time appeared, " Macharronea varia, diversis linguis conscripta, praesertim Latine, et caractere Gothico impressa;" small 8vo. without place or date. This rare volume, whose author, according to Brunet, was Georgio Aglione d'Asti, contains fourteen small pieces, of which the first is " Macharonea contra Macharoneam Bas- sani ad spectabilem D. Baltasarem Lupuni asten. studen- tem Papiae." The remainder are principally farces in Lombard and Piedmontese verse.
In the year 1516 were first published at Paris, " Frac- tuosissimi atque amenissimi Sermones," by Gabried Barlette, a Dominican friar. They are written in the lowest Maca- ronic style, one sentence often consisting of two or three languages, and mixing ludicrous with serious subjects ; not- withstanding which, they passed through several editions.
The first edition of the well-known work of Merlin Coc- caie, or Merlinus Cocaius, was at Venice in 1517. The real name of this author was Teofilo Folengi, (descended from a noble family in Mantua,) afterwards a Benedictine monk. He was born in 1491, and died at his Priory, near Bassano, in 1544. The complete title of his book, as in the edition of 1521, is
" Opus Merlini Cocaii, Poetse Mantuani Macaronicorum.
Xll INTRODUCTION.
Totum in pristinam formam per me Magistrum Acquarium Lodolam optime redactum, in his infra notatis titulis divisum.
" Zanitonella, qutE de amore Tonelli erga Zaninam trac- tat. Quse constat ex tredecim Sonolegiis, septem Eclogis, et una Strambottolegia.
" Phantasiae Macaronicon, divisum in viginti quinque Macaronicis, tractans de gestis magnanimi et prudentissimi Baldi.
" Moschea facetus liber in tribus partibus divisus, et tractans de cruento certamine muscarum et formicarum.
" Libellus Epistolarum et Epigrammatum ad varias per- sonas directarum."
These poems, which are embellished with several curi- ous plates, are written in a medley of Latin and Italian. They contain some sober maxims expressed in facetious terms : the high-sounding titles of grandees are turned into ridicule with much address ; and the vices of mankind are depicted in such a jocose manner, that the work may be considered a satire without venom. The adventures of Baldus constitute a mock-heroic romance, founded on the exploits of an imaginary grandson of Charlemagne, accom- panied by a trusty knave, a giant, a centaur, &c. There have been several editions; the best is that of 1768, 2 vols. in one, Mantua, 4to., with notes and engravings. In the edition of 1561 many alterations are made, and passages objectionable to particular families are omitted. There is also a French translation, of which the best edition is that of 1606. Of the French edition of 1734 a few copies were printed on vellum. Foleugi is 'supposed to have written other Macaronic pieces, as the following titles appear in a list of his works at the end of his Life, annexed to the edi- tion of the " Opus" of 1692. " Opusculum aliud versibus Macaronicis, cui Titulus : II Libro della Gatta." Also, in MS. "Satira carmine Macaronico : quarum Titulus Le Gratticie." He also composed a curious allegorical poem, called " Chaos del Triperuno/' and several other pieces not Macaronic. His " Orlandino," in ottava rinia, was pub- lished in 1526, under the feigned name of Limerno Pi- tocco. A copious extract from Merlin will be found among the specimens.
In 1526 a small and rare book was printed, with the
INTRODUCTION. Kill
title " Guarini Capella, Macharonea in Cabrinum Goga- magogae Regem composita, multum delectabilis ad legen- dum, ex sex libris distincta. Arimini, per Hieronymum Soncinum anno D'ni 1526. 8vo."
Antonius de Arena, a lawyer at Avignon, who died in 1544, was a celebrated macaronic writer. The best of his works in this style is considered to be " Meygra Entre- priza Catoliqui Imperatoris, quando de Anno D. 1536 veniebat per Provensam bene carrozatus, in postam pren- dere Fransam cum villis de Provensa, propter grossas et minutas gentes rejouire, per Antonium de Arena Bastifau- satam. Gallus regnat, Gallus regnavit, Gallus regnabit. Avenione, 1537. 12mo. Bruxellae, 1748. 8vo. Lyon, 1760. 8vo. It is sometimes found with the following title: " Poema Macaronicum : id est, Historia bravissima Caroli Quinti Imperatoris a Provincialibus Paysanis triumphanter desbifati, Macaronico carmine recitans, per Joannem Ger- manum. 1536."
The book concludes thus : " Scribatum estando cum gailhardis Paysanis per Boscos, Montagnos, Forestas de Provensa, de anno mille cccccxxxvi. quando Imperairus d'Espagna, et tota sua Gendarmeria pro fauta de panibus per Vignas roygabant Rasinos, et post veniebant fort bene Acambram sine Cresteris, et Candeletis d'Apoticaris in Villa de Aquis." It is a pleasant satire on the wars of Charles the Fifth, and was suppressed by the ministry of those times; but whether it was the subject of an ex officio information, does not appear. Another work of his, of which there have been several editions, is, " Antonius de Arena de BragardissimS, villa de Soleriis. Ad suos Com- pagnones studiantes qui sunt de persona friantes, bassas dansas in galanti stylo bisognatas; cum Guerra Romana et Neopolitana, Revolta Genuensi, Guerra Avenionensi, et Epistola ad fallotissimam suam garsam Roseam, pro pas- sando lo tempus allegramente, &c. Stamp, in Stampatura Stampatorum, anno 1670." The following is given as the description of Dance. "Quid sit Dansa?" "Est una grossissima consolatio, quam prendunt bragardi homines cum bellis garsis sive mulieribus, dansando, chorisando, fringando, balando de corpore gayo et frisco, quando me- nestrius, carlamuairus, floutairus, juglairus, tamborinairus bassas et hautas dansas, tordiones, branlos, martingalas et
XIV INTRODUCTION.
alias sautarellas tocat, siblat, carlamuat, fifrat, tamborinat, harpat, rebecat, floutat, laudat, organat, cantat de gorgia, de carlamusa elara, de carlamusa surda," &c. There was evidently no galopade, or mazurka in those days, or they would doubtless have obtained special notice ; the last, however, appears of too serious a nature to be trifled with, when we see grown-up gentlemen perform their parts as gravely and steadily as the ci-devant figures at St. Dun- stan's clock.
The following poem is found annexed to one edition of those of A. de Arena : " Nova Novorum Novissima, sive
Eoemata stylo macaronico conscripta : quae faciunt crepare jctores et saltare capras ob nimium risum, res uunquam antea visa; composita et jam de novo magna diligentia revisata et augmentata per Bartholomaeum Bollam, Ber- gamascum, Poetarum Apollinem, et nostro saeculo alterum Cocaium. Accesserunt ejusdem auctoris Poemata Italica, sed ex valle Bergamascorum. Stampatus in Stampatura Stampatorum." 1670. 12mo.
The remaining Continental macaronic works of any note are " Macaronica de syndicatu et condemnatione D. Sam- sonis Lethi. Dialogus facetus et singularis, non minus eruditionis quam Macaronices complectens ex obscurorum virorum salibus cribratus." 8vo.
" Fabula Macharonea, cui titulus est ; Carnevale. Brac- ciani apud Andr. Phacum." 1620. 8vo. by Andrea Bajano.
" Harenga Macaronica habita in Monasterio Cluniacensi die quinta mensis Aprilis armi 1566 ad rev. et illust. Car- dinalem de Lotharingia, ejusdem Monasterii Abbatem Commendatarium, per doctum Fratrem Vincentium Jus- tinianum, Genovensem, Generalem Ord. Fratr. Praedicato- rum, deputatum per Capitulum generale, una cum certis aliis ejusdem ordinis Fratribus Ambassatorem versus eun- dem Reverendissimum ; pro repetenda Corona aurea, quam abstulit a Jacobitis urbis Metensis Rhenis, in Campania." 1566. 8vo.
" Magistri Stoppini, Poetae Ponzanensis Capriccia Ma- caronica, Illustrissimo ac Excellentissimo Domino Jacobo superautio Paduae praefecto. D. Padua apud Gasparum Ganassum." 1638. 8vo. Of this there have been several editions : the author, according to Barbier, was Cesare Orsini.
INTRODUCTION. . XV
" Cittadinus macaronicus metrificatus, overum de pia- cevoli conversantis costumantia, Somnia trente quinque." 1647. 8vo. by Parth. Zanclaio.
"Dictamen metrificum de bello Hugenotico et Reistro- rum Pigliamine ad Sodales," by Itemy Belleau. This piece, containing about two hundred and fifty lines, repre- sents, in a grotesque manner, the ravages committed by the soldiery in time of war. It is printed with the bur- lesque poem, " L'Eschole de Salerne, a Paris," 1650. The publisher says, with respect to it, " Au reste, on en doit faire d'autant plus d'estime, que c'est le seul Poeme de cette nature que nous avons en nostre langue ; car ceux d'Antoine de Arena approchent plus du Provencal que du Francois, et ceux de Merlin Coccaye sont Italiens."
" Cacasagno Reystro-Suysso-lansquenetorum, per Ma- gistrum Joannem Baptistam Lichardum Recatholica- tum spaliposcinum Poetam. Cum Response, per Joan. Cransfeltum, Germanum." Paris. 1558. 8vo. by Etienne Taburot.
" Recitus veritabilis super Esmeuta terribili Paysano- rum de Ruellio a Jano Csecilio Fray." s. a.
" Epistola macaronica Arthusii ad D. de Parisiis super attestatione sua, justificante et nitidante Patres Jesui- tas." s. a.
" Epitaphia honorandi Magistri nostri Petri a Coruibus." Paris, 1542. 8vo.
" Carmen arenaicum de quorundam nugigerolorum piafFa insupportabili."
In the Nugffi Venales (ed. 1720, 12mo.) there are four short Macaronic pieces, which it is not necessary to de- scribe. Many of the pieces in this collection contain gross ideas, a defect unfortunately too common in the generality of Macaronic poetry, the wit being obscured by coarseness of expression.
Before quitting this division of macaronicism, we must not forget the amusing specimen given by Moliere in the troisieme intermede of Le Malade Imaginaire, where Argan the invalid is to be admitted a doctor.
" QuATRIEME DOCTEUR.
" si non ennuyo dominum Praesidem, Doctissimam Facultatem,
XVI INTRODUCTION.
Et totam honorabilem
Companiam ecoutantem, Faciam illi unam quaestionem.
Des hiero maladus unus
Tombavit in meas manus ; Habet grandam fievram cum redoublamentis,
Grandam dolorem capitis,
Et grandum malum au cot6,
Cum granda difficultate
Et pena a respirare,
Veillas mihi dire,
Docte Bacheliere,
Quid illi facere.
ARGAN.
Clysterium donare, Postea seignare, Ensuita purgare.
ClNQUI^ME DOCTEUR.
Mais si maladia Opiniatria Non vult se garire, Quid illi facere ?
ARGAN.
Clysterium donare, Postea seignare, Ensuita purgare ; Reseignare, repurgare, et reclysterisare.
CHOIUR.
Bene, bene, bene, bene respondere ; Dignus, dignus est intrare In nostro docto corpore," &c.
This scene was imagined at a supper in the house of Madame de la Sabliere, where the celebrated Ninon, La Fontaine, and Despreaux were present, with Moliere and other distinguished persons. Each furnished a portion towards the completion of the intermede, in imitation of the style of Folengi.
Another description of poetry usually classed with Macaronic, though not strictly coming under the denomination, is that wherein every word of a poem begins with the same letter. Of this class, the best known is Pugna Porcorum, containing about three hundred lines, every word of which begins with the letter P. There have been several editions ; the original and best, according to De Bure, being that of 1530. It is a satire on the clergy; and, as is the case with most pieces in this style, is more to be sought for as a literary curiosity, than for any intrinsic merit. The edition printed with the Nugae Venales has a portrait of the supposed author with a pig's head and a pilgrim hat, and also an engraving of the battle. In the same collection is an amusing poem of nearly one hundred lines, entitled " Canum curn Catis Certamen carmine compositum currente calamo C. Catulli Caninii. Auctor est Henricus Harderus." Here every word begins with the letter C, and there is also a burlesque engraving of the battle.
The letter C is a favourite for this species of composi- tion, probably because one of the easiest for the purpose. Hugbald, a monk, about the year 876, wrote a poem of nearly one hundred and forty lines in honour of Charles the Bold, every word beginning with C. It has passed through several editions, but is a rare work. It will be found among the specimens, together with the two last- mentioned poems. Of still rarer occurrence is the compo- sition of Christianus Pierius, a German, called Christus Crucifi xus, consisting of nearly one thousand two hundred lines. The following may serve as an example :
Currite Castalides Christo comitate Camoenae, Concelebraturae cunctorum carmine certum Confugium collapsorum ; concurrite, cantus Concinnaturae celebres celebresque cothurnos."
There is a poem by Hamconius, of about the same length, called " Certamen Catholicorum cum Calvinistis, continuo caractere C, conscriptum per Martinum Ham- conium, Frisium." Lovanii, 1612. 4to.
By way of variety, a Jew, called Anbonet Abraham, who lived in the 13th century, composed an oration, wherein every word began with an M.
Some lines on Charles IX. combine the acrostic with alliteration : the F in the last line is superabundant.
Carole, cui clarius cui cultae cunctae camoenae
Aspirant, altis altior aethereis, Relligio regni recta ratione regatur,
Omnibus objicias obsequiosus opem.
XVili INTRODUCTION.
Laurea lex laudes lucentes lata loquatur,
Vexillum vafrum vis violenta vehat. Suspice Sicelidum solemnia sacro superstes,
Florescat foelix Francia fac faveas.
These on Viole, Bishop of Bourgogne, afford an ex- ample of the initial V.
Vim vernae violae visu veneramur vtroque,
Virtutes varias vulgus vti Violi. Ventoram violat violas violentia, verum
Virtutem Violi ventus vbique vehet.
In the Nugse Venales are the following lines, where the F is the selected letter ; one that it would appear difficult to accommodate.
Fosmellas furtira facies formosa fefellit, Fortuito faciens ferventi furta furore. Fur foritas fertur fatuens flagroque feritur.
Our quaint and persecuted countryman, Lythgoe, the traveller, tries his skill by pressing the letter G into the service, though it must be confessed there is little to be said in favour of the euphony,
Glance, glorious Geneve, gospel-guiding gem ; Great God, govern good Geneve's ghostly game !
It is now necessary to give some account of the British macaronic writers, of whom Drummond of Hawthornden, and Dr. Geddes, are the best known. The alliteration, which appears to have been essential to the complicated construction of the Celtic poetry,* with its terminal, in- ternal, and cyrchic rhymes ; and to the Saxon poetry, with pieces similar to Pierce Plowman's Vision, do not of course come within the scope of this Introduction.
Skelton, who was Poet Laureat about the end of the 15th century, the humour of whose works is well known, has examples of this sort of writing, as in his Boke of Colin Clout.
- Conybeare, in his Illustrations of Anglo-Saxon Poetry,
gives a Celtic distich of twelve words only, that contains seven rhymes.
INTRODUCTION. XIX
Of such vagabundus
Speaketh totus mundus,
How some syng let abundus, &c.
Cum ipsis et illis
Qui manent in villis
Est uxor vel ancilla,
Welcome Jacke and Gilla,
My pretty Petronilla,
An you will be stilla
You shall have your willa," &c.
In Harsenet's Detection are some humorous lines, being " Sir John of Grantam's curse for the miller's eeles that were stolne."
All you that stolen the miller's eeles,
Laudate dominum de ccelis, And all they that have consented thereto,
Benedicamus domino.
These will remind the reader of Dominie Sampson with Meg Merrilies, " Sceleratissima ! which means, Mrs. Margaret ;" " Conjuro te ! that is, I thank you heartily ;" " Exorciso te ! that is, I have dined."
Dunbar, a Scotch poet in the 15th century, occasionally wrote in this style, "The testament of Mr. Andro Ken- nedy," by him, which represents the character of a drunken scholar, will be found among the specimens ; but it may be wished that some parts were of a more sober description.
In " An Answere to a Romish Rime, &c. imprinted by Simon Stafford, 1602, is the following song, said to be pro- bably of the time of Henry VIII. (Cens. Liter, vol. viii. p. 368,)
A merry song, and a very song.
Sospitati pickt our purse with Popish illusio, Purgatory, scala cceli, pardons cum jubilio, Pilgrimage-gate, where idoles sate with all abominatio, Channon, fryers, common lyers, that filthy generatio, Nunnes puling, pretty puling, as cat in milke-pannio ; See what knaverie was in monkerie, and what superstitio ; Becking, belling, ducking, yelling, was their whole religio, And when women came unto them, fewe went sine filio. But Abbeyes all are now downe fall, Dei beneficio, And we doe pray, day by day, that all abominatio May come to desolatio. Amen. c2
XX INTRODUCTION.
Stanyhurst, a translator of part of Virgil in the 16th century, uses an extraordinary method of versification, which seems peculiarly his own ; for who would wish to appropriate such lines as these ?
Then did he make heaven's vault to rebound
With rounce robble bobble, Of ruffe raffe roaring.
With thicke thwacke thurly bouncing.
There are a few macaronicisms in a poem at the end of Leland's Itinerary, vol. vi. being an account of a fight between the scholars and townsmen at Oxford, 10th Fe- bruary, 1354, and two following days, begun at Swyndolne- stock or Swindlestock tavern : many of the former were killed, for which the town was afterwards severely punish- ed. There are also some in Coryat's Odcombian Banquet, and in his Crambe, or Colwarts, &c : likewise, I believe, (for in this instance I am obliged to speak from report) in the " Poems Lyrique, Macaronique, Heroique/' &c. of Henry Bold, of New College, Oxford, afterwards of the Examiner's office in Chancery, (where the system of So- cratic instruction carried on must have puzzled his poetry a little,) published in London, 1664. 8vo.
An amusing specimen is given in Percy's Reliques, (vol. iii. p. 374,) addressed to a friend of Mr. John Grubb, of Christ Church, Oxford, urging him to print Mr. Grubb's poem called " The British Heroes," or the second part of St. George for England. It is short enough to be inserted here.
" Expostulaliuncula, sive Querimoniuncula ad Anlonium (Athertori), ob Poema Johannis Grubb, Viri *ov ira.iv ingeniossissimi in lucem nondum editi.
" Toni ! Tune sines divina poemata Grubbi Intomb'd in secret thus still to remain any longer, TevfOfta ffov shall last, 17 T^uSSt tiiapwrtfis ecu. Grubbe, tuum nomen vivet dum nobihs ale-a Efficit heroas, dignamque heroe puellam. Est genus heroum, quos nobilis efficit ale-a, Qui pro niperkin clamant, quaternque liquoris, Quern vocitent Homines Brandy, Superi Cherry Brandy. Saepe illi long-cut, vel small-cut flare tobacco Sunt soliti pipos. Ast si generosior herba (Per varies casus, per tot discrimina rerum)
INTRODUCTION. XXI
Mundungus desit, turn non funcare recusant Brown-paper tosta, vel quod fit arundine bed-mat. Hie labor, hoc opus est heroum ascendere sedes ! Ast ego quo rapiar ? quo me feret entheus ardor, Grubbe, tui memorem "? Divinum expande poema. Quae mora ? quae ratio est, quin Grubbi protinus anser Virgilii Flaccique simul canat inter olores?"
Dr. Wm. King, in the beginning of last century, pub- lished a satirical work on the scientific proceedings of the age, called " Useful Transactions in Philosophy, and other sorts of learning." In No. 5, professing to be an account of Meursius his book of the plays of the Grecian boys, he gives the following burlesque translation of " Boys, boys, come out to play," &c. as a quotation from his Greek author.
MiiSoiis, 'M.nSeiis, xvpftiri vKoutiv'
<ffa. voutia iei
K.vftf&in ffuv ov-xu, fftiv >.t>vbtu xuff.ff.iri xat/Xev, \iufftTi. ffwrvrtea.*, MtiSoiis, teufftrt GtSSov, -f v Taif xaftgeciSonriv lit fprfrtffffi tfXavv-Ti;.
Drummond's Polemo-middinia, is a well-known work, and its celebrity has no doubt been increased from the circumstance of Bishop Gibson having in his earlier days published an edition with Latin notes, Oxford, 1691, 4to. William Drummond, the poet, and also an historian, was the son of Sir John Drummond, of Hawthornden ; he was bom in 1585, and died in 1649. This, the earliest regu- lar British macaronic poem, was probably written when Drummond was on a visit to his brother-in-law at Scot- starvet, and contains a ludicrous account of a battle be- tween Lady Scotstarvet under the title of Vitarva, and Lady Newbarns as Neberna, with their respective depend- ants. There is an edition by Messrs. Foulis of Glasgow, 1 768 ; and it is also to be found in the collection hereafter mentioned, called " Carminum rariorum Macaronicorum delectus." It opens thus, but great part of it is better adapted to the age in which the poet lived, than to the present.
Nymphae, quae colitis highissima monta Fiftra, Seu vos Pittenwema tenent, seu Crelia, crofta, Sive Anstrita domus, ubi nat haddocus in undis, Codlineusque ingens, et fteucca et sketta pererrant,
XXii INTRODUCTION.
Per costam et scopulis Lobster manifootus in udis Creepat, et in mediis ludit Whitenius undis : Et vos Skipperii, soliti qui per mare breddum Valde procul lanchare foras, iterumque redire, Linquite Skellatas botas, Shippasque picatas, Whistlantesque simul fechtam memorate bloodaeam, Fechtam terribilem, quam marvellaverat omnis Banda Deum, quoque Nympharum Cockelshelearum, Maia ubi Sheepifeda, et solgosifera Bassa Swellant in pelago, cum Sol bootatus Edenum Fostabit radiis madidis et shouribus atris.
We must not omit to notice Ruggles, the facetious au- thor of Ignoramus, as he has introduced some laughable macaronicisms in that amusing play. Prefixed to it are these lines by Dulman " In laudem Ignorami."
Non inter plaios gallantos et bene gaios,
Est alter bookus deservat qui modo lookos,
O Lector friendleie, tuos : hunc buye libellum,
Atque tibi wittum, tibi jestaque plurima sellam.
Hie est lawyerus, simul hie est undique clerus,
Et Dulman merus (quod vis non credere verus) ;
Hie multum Frenchum, quo possis vincere wenchum ;
Hie est Latinum, quo possis sumere vinum.
Hunc bookum amamus, simul hunc et jure probamus ;
Qui non buyamus, cuucti sumus Ignoramus.
Ignoramus himself thus recites how he will endow his mistress Rosabella ; what we may consider his instructions for a marriage settlement.
fersus Legates de Rosabella. Si possem, vellem pro te, Rosa, ponere pellem : Quicquid tu vis, crava, et habebis singula brava : Et dabo fee-simple, si monstras Love's pretty dimple, Gownos, silkcoatos, kirtellos, et petticoatos, Farthingales biggos, stomacheros, et periwiggos, Pantofflos, cuffos, garteros, Spanica ruffos, Buskos et soccos, tiffanas, et Camlrica smockos, Pimpillos, purses ; ad ludos ibis et ursos.
Among the specimens will be found a short scene from this play, containing a humorous burlesque of Law-Latin, though that venerable dialect scarcely requires a caricature to display its powers : what will the uninitiated say to a Writ de pipd vini cariandd, i. e. for negligently carrying a pipe of wine ?
INTRODUCTION. XX111
But our most regular macaronic writer is Dr. Geddes, who was born in Banff in the year 1737, and died in 1802. The following are his productions in this style :
1790. Epistola Macaronica ad Fratrem de iis quae gesta sunt in nupero Dissentientium Conventu, Londini habito, prid. id. Feb. 1790. 4to. pp. 21.
Epistola Macaronica, &c. with an English ver- sion for the use of the ladies and country gentlemen. 4to. pp. 30.
1795. Ode Pindarico-Sapphico-Macaronica, in Gug- lielmi Pitti, &c. Laudem. Morning Chronicle, Jan. 13.
Translation of the same. Ditto Jan. 30.
1800. Bardomachia, Poema Macaronico-Latinum. 4to. pp. 14.
Bardomachia, or the Battle of the Bards ; trans- lated from the original Latin. 4to. pp. 16.
This was written on the subject of a battle (celebrated at the time) between two rival authors in a bookseller's shop.
In the year 1801, a collection was printed (I believe not published) under the superintendance of Dr. A. Duncan, as appears from aMS. observation in the copy penis me.* It is entitled, " Carminum rariorum Macaronicorum delectus, in usum ludorum Apollinarium. Edinburgh, 1801. 8vo." and includes several clever classical jeux d'esprit, but scarcely any thing strictly macaronic, except the " Polemo-mid- diuia," and a burlesque diploma for Dr. Wm. Sutherland, which is printed in the latter part of the present volume.
It is now high time to close this introduction, and I beg to remind any readers, that this work is only intended for light reading, and to request that if inclined to exercise their critical powers, they will seek some book of more pretence, and not break an insect on the wheel.
- That is, I fancy, fashionable literary parlance for my copy, and has the benefit of being rather less intelligible to ladies, and boys I beg their pardon young gentlemen (there are no boys in these intellectual times) of the under forms. There is no- thing like observing these technicalities occasionally ; they cause a sort of sacred mist, a kind of ma.; ten $tGn*.ai shade, which scares unauthorized intruders. What an undefinable air of mys- tery do they throw about a lawyer's or a carpenter's bill, or a physician's prescription !
PUGNA PORCORUM
PER
P. PORCIUM
POiJTAM.
I'araclesis pro Potore.
Perlege porcorum pulcherrima praelia, Potoi , Potando poteris placidam proferre poesin.
NIVERSTADII :
APUD CASPARUM MYRRHEUM,
MELCHIOREM THUREUM,
& BALTHASARUM AUREUM.
1720.
AD LECTOREM JODOCUS HELMONTANUS.
Porciolus Porcos, cecinisti parva croacum, Sic condigna refert prsemia, Homere tibi.
AD EUNDEM.
Maeonides ranas cecinit, sed Porcius ille Posterior Porcos, plaudite utrique precor.
AD EUNDEM.
Potando pugnas Porcorum perlege potor, Petendis posuit prsemia porciolus.
Porcorumque procul propellant prselia planctus, Persuadent propter poemata percinere.
Perdocuit paucis Porcorum pulchra Poeta Praelia, perlecto plaudite Porciolo.
POTENTISSIMO
PATRONO PORCIANORUM
P. PORCIUS
POETA PROSPERITATEM PRECATUR PLUR1MAM.
Postquam publice Porci putamur ; praestantissime patrone, placuit Porcorum pugnam poemate pan- gere, potissime proponendo pericula pinguium prse- latorum : pugnant pigriter pusillanimes prselati prop- ter pinguedinis pondus, porro potentius Porcelli pauca proceritate perpoliti : propterea placeat pre- cor puerile poema perlegere Porcorum Porcellorum- que pugnam propositionibus pictam paribus, peri- praepostere.
Proditur patronus Porcianorum, Primordialibus punctis.
Res Inamoena Caret Aflfectu. Laeta Decorem Omnimode Aspirat Bellula Habe Ergo Rata :
Proditur Poe'ta.
Plura Latent Animo Coelata, Et non Temeranda Indiciis Ullis, Scilicet hoc Volui.
Praecelsis proavis pulchre, prognate patrone, Pectore prudenti pietateque praedite prisca, Praeter progeniem, praeter praeclara parentum Praelia pro patria, pro praesulibusque peracta, Pleraque pro populo proprio perfecta potenter Pellucens probitate, potentique prosperitate, Proposito praesente petens plerumque peritos, Proptereaque probas philomusos, persequerisque Parnasso potos, precio precibusque poetas : Postquam percepi puerile placere poerna Praecipue propter praescripta prooemia pugna; Porcorum, placuit parvam praefigere pugnee Pagellam, porci prodentem proprietates Plausibiles, pinguem patronum promeruisse Pectore pinguiculo, pol promeruisse poetam Pingui Porcorum pingendo poemata pugnam.
Propositiones Pugnee.
Porcus pistorum pergunt prosternere pugna Porcelli, pasti plant! per pervia prata.
PUGNA PORCORUM
PER
P. P O R C I U M POETAM.
1 PLAUDITE Porcelli Porcorum pigra propago. Progreditur, plures Porci pinguedine pleni. Pugnantes pergunt, pecudum pars prodigiosa, Perturbat pede petrosas plerumque plateas, Pars portentose populorum prata profanat, Pars pungit populando potens, pars plurima plagis Praetendit punire pares, prosternere parvos. Primo Porcorum prsefecti pectore piano, Pistorum Porci prostant pinguedine pulchri. Pugnantes prohibent Porcellos, ponere poenas Prsesumunt pravis : porro plebs pessima pergit Protervire prius, post profligare potentes. 2 Proconsul pastus pomorum pulte perorat Proelia pro pecude parva prodesse, proinde Protervire parum patres persaepe probasse Porcorum populo pacem pridem placuisse Perpetuam, pacis promptse preeconia passim Pro praecone piae pacis per pondera plura Proponente preces, prudens pro plebe patronus Porcus praegrandis profert placidissima pacta. s Pacisci placeat Porcis, per praelia prorsum Plurima priscorum perierunt pascua patrum.
' Processus Poreorum ponitur. a Propositio proconsulis.
3 Placidatorum pacta proponuntur.
PUGNA PORCORUM.
PrtBstat Porcellis potiori pace potiri, Praestat praelatis pritnam praebere palaestram. Porro proclivis pugnae plebeia potestas
1 Prselia portendit, per privilegia prisca Proponens pugnse Porcos potuisse patenti Prostravisse pares, per plebiscita probari. Porcum pugnacem pecudem, praeclara potestas Pendet per Porcos pugnaces, pergite passim Perdere praefectos, Porci properare pusilli
2 Perdere pinguiculos, praefectos praecipitare, Pigritia pollent praelati perpetuati, Postquam plebs pertaesa potentatus penetravit Pnecipiti pede, Porcelli petiere pusilli. Pugnando properare prius, pessundare patres. Praestituunt personates prsecurrere porcos Propugiles, porro plenum pinguedine putri Prseclarum Porcum pistrino pinsere panem Praecipiunt, per posticam, per pervia portant.
3 Propterea properans proconsul poplite prono, Praecipitem plebem pro patrum pace poposcit. Persta paulisper, pubes preciosa, precamur. Pensa profectum parvum pugnse peragendae Plures plorabunt postquam prsecelsa premetur Praelatura patrum, Porcelli percutientur Passim, posteaquam pingues Porci periere. Propterea petimus, preeseritem ponite pugnam Per pia Porcorum perimus penetralia, posthac Praelati poterint patrata piacula parce Perpetrare, procul postponite praelia parva, Prae preelatorum poenis patientia praestat.
4 Plebs Porcellorum parte praecone parato Porcis prselatis proponit particulares Pacis particulas : pateant praesentia pacta Porcorum populo, Porcorum posteritati.
1 Praelia portendit. 2 Propterea porcellorum penetratio.
3 Preces proconsulis pro praelatis.
4 Propositiones Porcellorum particulares.
PUGNA PORCORUM. 7
Principio petimus prselatos perpetuates Postponi, propter pia privilegia patrum, Porcellos patuit pariformi pondere pastos Porcis persimiles, Porcos prsestare pusillos Propter pulmonem, propter penetrale palati, Pars parvi Porci prunis plerumque perusta Principibus primis portatur, porro putrescens Porcorum pectus putri pinguedine plenum Projicitur passim, partim pro peste putatur, Propterea Porcis praslatio praeripiatur. Pergite Porcelli prasfectos praecipitare.
1 Pro preelatura Porci pugnare parati Prosiliunt, pars prata petit, pars prona paludes, Prodit prsecipuo proterva potentia plausu, Porro Porcelli pulchre per prata perurgent Pinguiculos properare procul, penetrare parati Per portas patulas, Porcos perfodere pergunt Prosternunt, pinguedo potens prohibet properare.
2 Propterea pacem proponunt ; parcite Porcis, Porcelli posthac potimur pace perenni : Propterea pulcher Porcellus preeco politus Prospiciens patres pronos peccata profari Prospiciens positos praeda, positosque periclo, Propositum pandit ; pacem perferre potestis ? Parcite prelati, procerum pondus puerile, Perdurare parum propter plerosque putatur, Perfringunt pacem penitus post pacta peracta.
3 Ponite pro pacto pignus, proferre potentes. Pro pacis praxi, potiora pericula pensant Porcelli, portent pignus, pax pacta placebit. Princeps Porcorum propria pro plebe pedestris Procumbens, pene perplexus prselia propter
4 Pestiferi populi, promittit preemia pulchra. Pultem pomorum, propinam pulvere pisti Pastilli, partem placentae posterioris,
Posteriorum pugna. y Porci pacisci petunt.
3 Praeconis propositio. 4 Profertur pignus pro pastione.
8 PUGNA PORCORUM.
Pocula profundae perquam preciosa paludes. Porcum praegrandem placido pro pignore preebet Promulgans plana Porcellos proprietate. Praefecturarum posthac pertingere paltnam, Porro Porcelli pinxere prooemia pacis Particulis paribus, pateat pax posteritati. 1 Porci praelati placido pacto pepigerunt Perpetuam pacem, posthac prsecedere parvos Porcellos Porcos, putri pinguedine plenos, Phas posthac Porcis passim pugnare pusillis Pro pomis putridis, pro parte posterioris Proventus pingui, poterint purgare plateas. Prolixe poterint pomaria, participare, Partiri preedas, patulas peragrare paludes Proclamaturi Porcelli pectore pleno, Postquam prseripitur Porcellis per peregrinos, Postquam percipiunt pede prendi posteriori. 2 Plaudite Porcelli, plebs preciosa perenni, Parta pace parate procul praeludia pulchra ; Pompas prsecipuas, proscrenia publica palmae, Purpureos pannos, picturas pendite pulchras Progeniem priscam Porcellorum perhibentes, Priventur platani, priventur pondere pinus, Porcellis passim pomaria prostituantur, Palmarum prorsus plantatio prseripiatur Pendula, pro pacta portentur pace parati Palmarum pilei, procedat pulchra propago Pacificatorum Porcellorum, penetrando Planiciem, patrise passim peragrando plateas, Planta? pro pedibus plateatim projiciatur. Portetur per praecipuos prseco peramoenus, Pacis perfector promat praeconia pacis Publicitus, prono procumbant poplite Porci, Porcellos patriae patronos profiteantur.
1 Particula pactae pacis.
- Pompae Porcellorum post.pacem peractam.
PUGNA PORCORUM. 9
1 Porro praecedat potu pincerna, paludis Pocula propinans plenissima : pabula prsebens Pulmenti putris pro proprietate palati,
Pro praecone potens paleae pistura paretur, Proluvies pepli polluti, portio pinguis Pleni potoris promentis particulatim Pocula praesumpta, praegustatos patinarum Pullos, perdices, pavos, Porcos piperatos. Praeterea patriae per prima palatia perget Persuadens populo Porcellorum pietatem, Plaudant Porcelli, portent per plaustra peronem Per patriam patulo progressu perspiciantur : Pistorum Porci prope pistrinum patiantur Perpetuas poenas, praeservati prope postes :
2 Perturbent pueri Porcos prope percutiendo, Propellant Porcos pulchrae per pensa puellae, Pertractent parvos Porcellos poplite prono Procumbent, pilos patientur pectine pecti. Plaudite Porcelli, pistorum plangite Porci. Pistores pascant Porcos pastu palearum, Percussos partim pedibus ; per plurima probra Partim projectos petris pugnisque pedeque,
3 Pastores pascant Porcellos prosperitate Praecipua, peragrantes prata patentia passim. Postridie postquam Porcelli pace potiti, Praesurnpsere patres proterv& pungere passim Praslia preedictae pugnae populis perhibentes ; Plurima Porcorum pensans praesaga potestas. Proposuit primo palmae preescribere pondus Pestiferae plebi Porcellorum pedetentim Proposuit pedites precio pro posse parare, Porcos praedones per pagos perque paludes.
4 Pungentes pecudes promuscide, phamaque passim
Pincerna praecedit praBConem poculo plenissimo. Porcelli puellarum pollice perfricti procumbant. Porcorum praesaga pensiculatio pro profecto paranda 4 Phama praelii.
10 PUGNA PORCORUM.
Perfertur, properatque pecus proclive, proinde Perficitur pennse procurator peracutus : Ponens pugnaces Porcos pecudesque papyro. Promittunt posito pede praefectis properare Praescripto pugilum pugnam properare parati
1 Praecipuum, prout prsecipient princeps pugilesque. Porro proventus precii plerisque parantur, Praecurrent proceres precii plus percipientes Placant pollicitis, proh ! propellos peregrines Perfidiam patrant proprioque penu potiores Praestituunt prasdas, proponunt postea plebi Persolvendarum propinarum paraclesin Pugnaque protrahitur, porro Porcus philomusus Paedotriba pusillorum per parisienses
Promotus, pagi pastor, parochusque paludis Paulum perdoctus pariter producere petrum Pertrectabatur, proh ! perdita pectora plena Perfidiae : pudeat perceptae praemia prsed-ae Plebi prseripere peccato pernicioso Peccatis, prodet profusa pecunia, prodet, Prodet praedones ; postquam pensent peregrini Prsemia pro pugna patrata, proque periclis.
2 Personuit parochus, pergens proponere plures Perfidiae partes : porro princeps pugilesque Pestiferum parochum proclamabant perimendum Pseudo-euangelicumque probabant praecipitandum Ponto, prseterea plus provenisse pericli Persuasu parochi, plus ponderibus pavimenti Portae praecelsaB, plus pulveribus platearum. Protestabantur prenis plectendum poste patente, Ponendum prope prunas, particulisque perustis Profundo puteo profunde praecipitandum,
3 Publicitus pugiles praedicta piacula patrant,
1 Perfidia praefectonim precium praeripientium pugnantibus.
2 Propatulatio perfidia per Philomusum.
3 Poena philomusi.
PUGNA PORCORUM. 11
Plebsque putat pulchrum philomusum perdere
Porcum,
Proinde preces princeps proponit plebsque parata Promittit parere piis precibus, pugilesque.
1 Partiri pergunt propinam : perficiuntque Perfidiam, pauci prohibent peccata patrari Pro placito pugilum, plecti plerique putantur Propter perfidiam propalatam peregrine. Postquam Porcelli prseceperunt peregrines Privari precio, prolixe pensiculando
2 Publicitus propere procurant praemia pugnse, Proponi Porcis paganis persoluturus, Prostat praeco potens plures prsecurrere Porci Prsetendunt, prohibetque pedo plus percipientes. Postquam pellecti precio Porci peregrini,
3 Presidium pugna prsebebant, prsecipitare Pugnam pergebant Porci, porro properabant Partim pinguiculi, partim putredine pleni Provecti plaustris, partim peditis properabant. Porro Porcelli prseceperunt peregrinis Plaustra penetrando Porcos prosternere pingues Producique palam pendendos poste patente.
4 Propterea peditis prudenter progredientes, Perturbaverunt, projeceruntque potenter Plaustrum Porcorum, praedaque potente potiti, Praecipuos Porcos protraxerunt plateatim. Porro, Porcorum prospecto principe primo : Prseco potens populo propinavit perimendum, Plectendum poenis pendendum poste patente. Porro pauca petit princeps proferre, priusquam Perficiat placitum praeconis plebs pileata, Permittuntque parum proponere proinde profatur ;
1 Porcellorum percipientium persolutionis perfidiam.
- Ponitur persolutio praesentissima.
3 Pingues Porci provehuntur plaustris.
4 Prjedatio Porcellorum.
12 PUGNA PORCOKUM.
1 Parcite Porcelli, proavorum prisca putamur Progenies, prisci potuerunt plura parentes Prselia pro patria patrare, pericula plura Pro populo perferre pio, pro plebe parati Prenas pauperiemque pati, possunt pietatem Publica phana parentum pyramidesque probare, Promeriti pulchre per praemia picta probantur. Propterea pensate, precor, pensate periclum, Parcite perdendo, pietatem perficientes. Postquam perfecit princeps praedicta, parumper Plorans, percutiensque palam pectus peramoenum, Profert parcendum ploranti praeco politus Propter progeniem, propter prseciosa potentum Patrum privilegia, prognatamque profatur
2 Progenie propria princeps prsecoque proinde Pergunt pacifici populo prope prospiciente, Praelatos pariter, prselatis participari, Partiri prcedas : porro promiscua plebes Propterea prsefert, pateat preelatio prava.
3 Postquam parturiunt prasclara penaria praedas Perficiunt pacem patitur populusque Posteaquam patuit preerepta pecunia plebi, Plangunt privatim procerum prsecordia pacem. Plectunt perjuro perjuria plura patrantes. Propterea Porci, Porcelli plebs populusque, Posthac.principibus prohibent producers pugnam.
Personavit Placentius post pocula.
1 Precatio principis Porcorum.
2 Pacificuntur principes.
3 Populi propositio potissima.
PUGNA PORCORUM. 13
POTENTISSIMO, PIENTISSIMO PRUDENTISSIMOQUE PRINCIPI,
PATRI PURPURATO,
PRjESENTI PONTIFICI,
PLACENTIUS
PLURIMUM PRECATUR PROSPERITATIS.
PERGE, pater patriae, patriarum perfice pacem. Promereare palam palmam placidissime princeps. Possessae pacis primam perhibe pietatem Priscorum patrum per prudentissima pacta. Posteritas perget praeconia prornere passim Pontifici preciosa pio, plebecula, pubes, Primores patrias proclamabunt peramceno Plausu pastorem pacis, pia pectora plaudent. Phama peragrabit, peragrabit phama polorum Per penetralia : praeterea populosa propago, Progenies patriae, patres, puerique pusilli Protestabuntur priscis patribus potiorem. Pontificem pileo pretioso praedominantem, Phama penetrabit penetrabit phama paludes Persarum, poterit phoenix proferre perennes Pacis particulas, per pontificate paratas Praesidium, posthac penetrabit pax paradisum Plebs peregrinorum prospect^ pace perenni Pacati populi pactum pariforme probabit. Publica patronum pacis, privata patenter Pectora perpetuo plausu pariter perhibebunt. Prudens pontificis pectus, per plura probetur Plectra poetarum, plerique poemata promant Praecipuam plerique parentelae probitatem Pertractent prosa, praestante poemate prorsus : Praecellat princeps pacis, princeps pietatis.
Postremo pronunciavit Pensa pauperiem, princeps proeclare, poetoe.
FINIS.
14 PUGNA PORCORUM.
PRJECATIUNCULA.
P. PORCH
POET.E.
PAHCE, precor, pingui pagellae, parce prudente
Pugnantium paroemiae Parce parum pulchrae picturatseque poesi,
Praesente pictae poculo. Phoebo postposito placuit profundere plura,
Praeceps poemaque promere. Postqnam potaram, perlegi paucula puncta
Pingens, proindeque potinans. Perplacuit poto plusquam puerile poema,
Plerisque persuadentibus. Produxique palam perscrutandum paradigma
Pleno probandum poculo. Percusso pluteo puduit puduitque papyri
Partique pudet poematis. Porro potores partim prodire perurgent,
Partim precantur protinus : Praesertiraque potest patronus praecipiendo
Parva precatus pagina, Porcorum populus, Porcellorumque precatur
Promiscue plebecula, Perfectam pugnam perfecto ponere praelo
Propediem placentium.
Charus Centurio curavit comere chartas Censorem, curae commisit Chalcographorum.
15
CANUM CUM CAT1S CERTAMEN [and the rest]
CARMINE COMPOSITUM CURRENTE CALAMO
C. CATULLI CANINII.
AUCTOR EST HENRICUS HARDERUS.
CATTORUM canimus certamina clara canumque, Calliope concede chelyn ; clariseque Camoenee Condite cum cytharis celso condigna cothurno Carmina : certantes canibus committite cattos, Commemorate canum casus casusque catorum, Cumprimis causas certamina cuncta creantes. Currentem cupide cruda cum carne catellum Gonspexere cati captique cupidine coense Comprendunt catulum, capiunt coguntque carere Carne, canis clamor complebat compita, cuncti Confluxere canes ; conamina cruda catorum Conqueritur catulus, captas carnesque cibosque Commemorat ; cunctis cum cognita causa catellis, Concilium cogunt, canus calvusque culinae Gustos Castrutio cathedram conscendere celsam Coepit, cumque canum consedit concio, causa Communis, clamat, comites, commune ciebat Consilium : coeunt crudelia corpora catti Contrectantque ; canum carnescomplentqueculinam. Contemnunt catulos ; contemnunt ? cedere cogunt,
16 CANUM CUM CATIS
Corpora corripiunt, contestaturque cicatrix Caecilii catuli conamina cruda catorum Conniveat causaque cadat careatque culina Clara caterva canum ? citius contendere cursu Cum cervo cancer cupiet citiusque canorus Cogetur creperis Cygnus cessisse cicadis. Cur catuli cur cessamus ? conjungite castra, Conveniant campo catti, certamine claro Contendant cui conveniat censura culinae. Collaudare canes cani cospere cerebri Consilium, Ceneus cum Castilione creatur Centurio. Cernunt catti crudele cieri Certamen, coeunt catti conflantque cohortes. Callimedonta caput campi columenque catorum Consilium commune creat, curamque capessit. Cumque coegissent catuli cattique catervas, Certamen campestre catis campestre catellis Complacuit, currere citi cursuque citato Convenere canes, cum conspexere catellos Cattorum cuneata cohors, concurrere crepit Candida canenti cum Castilione Camauce, Conculcata cadit clarumque cruore colorem Corrumpit. coeunt certamine Casca Colaxque Casca colorato, candenti corpore Colax, Casca Colaxque cadunt. carus Condoq; Coquoq; Captaneus claram cupiens convellere Callam Conficitur. Catalina cadit, capiturque Cerastus Cumque Capo Canaus Celebris commilito claudi Cromvelli, cum coepisset contingere castra Grantor corruerat cunctoque cruore carebat Confectus cursu. confligit Claudia caeco Cum Cephalo. curvam Clebuli Caroriia caudam Convellit. Cum cattorum coeunte caterva Colligeret cunctas Canape Chionsea cohortes, (Clara canis Canape campo Custosque cubilis Callimachi,) coepitque canum convertere cursus Corbulo consuetis contritus colla catenis ;
CERT AMEN. 17
Certatur, csesis colles camposque cruentant Corporibus. colluctantur caudis cubitisque Cattorumq; canumq; cohors, celeberrima Cauce Cum cedens campo claudo cum crure cucurrit Ccepissentque canes cattorum cingere cornu ; Currite, clamabat Caronia, currite catti, Conficimur capimurque, canes ccepere cruenti Clause certantes cuneo circumdare cattos, Cernite constrato cumulata cadavera campo, Cernite calcantes cattorum colla catellos: Cedamus campum canibus, causaque cadamus. Continuo catti cedunt cursuque citato Condita conantur celeres contingere castra, Cum consternari cattos, cum corde carere Conspexere canes, conclamavere citoque Conglomerata cohors certat contendere cursu Cum cattis, capiunt cattorum castra catosque Complures, captos coenoso carcere claudunt, Connexis cruciant caudis cumulantqxie catenis, Centeni cecidere cati, cessere cruenti Centeni, claudit centum custodia captos : Concinno comitum celebrantes carmine cladem Complaudunt catulisque canes, canibusq; catelli ; Constituunt certas captivis conditiones : Cum canibus coeat cattis concordia : coenis Captivi careant catti, cedantque culina Cum coquitur, cineres captent, caleantq; camino Cernere content! completos carne catellos. Captivi canibus cito consensere, canesque Carcere confracto cum cattis conciliantur. Colle cavo comitum congesta cadavera condunt Cattorumq; canumq; cohors curantq; cruentos Complexi catulos catti cattosque catelli Civili certant cauda, cubitisque cohaerent : Cantatur, crudam claudunt convivia caedem, Cunctaque composite cessat certamine clades.
18
FROM THE
PHANTASM MACARONICS
OF
THEOPH. FOLENGI (MERLIN COCAIUS).
MACARONICA PRIMA.
OCEANUM patrem Sol descendendo petebat, Ponitur in puncto Regalis ccena debottum, Grande pignatarum murmur sonat intra coquinam, Et faciunt sguatari quidquid cocus annuit illis, Alter figatos coctos tirat extra padellam, Alter odorifero zeladiam gingere spargit, Alter Anedrottos pingui brottamine guazzat, Alter de spedo mira trahit arte fasanos, Hie polastrorum caldarum spiccat ab igne, Quos alter gustat, digitos leccando, sub ala. Ipse molam saxi circa menare frequentat, Laeva ministerio, dextra et intenta labori, Manduleusque sapor lapidis collatur ab ictu. Ille trahit furno grassa de came guazettum, Quem pevero spargit Venetum striccando sachettum. Interea mensas crudis, coctisque salatis En caricant centum famuli, centumque Ragazzi. Corpora medesimo gestant vestita colore, Scilicet ex panno cuncti dobbantur azzuero, Perque coloratas albescunt lilia vestes, Talibus his armis quoniam Rex Francifer usat. Circum stringantur scuderi more Todesco : Inchinos faciunt reverenti fronte galantos.
PHANTASIES MACARONICS. 19
Semper habendo caput nudum, curvosque zenochios, Sed quia Francorum fuerat tune Regis usanza, Quod solus comedit, tamen ob Guidonis araorem Non usum facit, at mensae loca prima petivit, Inque caput tabulae fulvo radiabat in auro. Ad dextram Regina manum veneranda sedebat Contra quam Guido sic Rege jubente recumbit. Baldovina suum quse condere nescit amorem, Injussa ex templo Guidoni vadit apressum, Et sic ligna foco junxit meschina puella. Maxima turn sequitur longo ordine turba Baronum. Quisque menare cupit nimia pro fame ganassas, Namque labor giostrae fecit padire budellas. Cuncta super mensas portant hinc inde Ragazzi, Ante Siniscalchi valdunt, diversa comandant, Et scorozzati canibus dant calcibus urtos. Trenta tajatores non cessant rumpere carnes, Dismembrare ocas, pernices, atque capones. Ex intra verso pupiones mille tajantur, Sed disquartantur per longum mille fasani, Furcinulas ficcant in cervellatibus, atque Smenuzzant illos gladio taliante frequenter; Ssepe bonos robbant tamen hi tajando bocones, Atque caponorum pro se culamina servant. Post mangiamentum Alessi, succedit Arostus, Cervatti, Lepores, et quicquid Caccia mittit. Copia louzarum, Porcorum grassa capretti, Quajotti, vel quos trapolarunt Retia turdos. His mandularum niveos junxere sapores, Nee dapibus varidi mancavit Salsa colore, Nee succus citri, nee acerbi musta Naranci. Haec ego dum memoro fluitat saliva per ora. Praeterea ex amito Tortae venere bianco, Tortae de pomis, de faro deque bisellis, Mox tortellorum varia de sorte piatti, Candidus occultat quos zuccarus, atque saporat, Post epulas grassas confectio plurima fertur.
20 PHANTASIJE MACARONICJE.
Morselada, Anices pignoles, marzaque panis, Et pistacchia nihil (scis causam) congrua Gallis. Cuncta Siniscalchis mensas funduntur in amplas. Apponunt phialas, cuncti cui gloria vini, Malvasia datur, patrum non absque sapero : Qui dixere ignem, sic sic smorzarier igne. Non ibi mancarunt, quos striccat Somma racemi : Somma decus Napolis, sed magnae crapula Romce. Orphana montagnahaec, quae vinum nomine Gregum Parturit, ut facial per tressum andare brigatam. Quatuor accedunt cantores Rege jubente, Qui velut usantur Francesi, gutture pleno Cantavere duos sub gorghizando motettes. Inde sonatores pifarorum quinque valenti, Trombonesque duo pariter frifolare comenzant. Quos omnes cernis rubeas gonfiare ganassas, Discurrunt digitis hue illuc pectore saldo, Qui nunquam docti stoppando foramina fallant Subseguitant, Arpae, Citharae, dulcesque Leutti, Arpicorda, Lirae, Violae, buxae quoque flauti Hoc Baldovinae pro fomite pectus abrusat, Scitque minus Guido cordis reperire quietem. Non contentus amor quod visu junxerat ambos, Sed facit illorum danzando tangere palmas ; Namque comenzarunt Franceso more Baletti, Cum Baldovina Guido danzavit unhoram. Non ibi mancarunt manuum stricatio, nutus, Frigiditas cordis ; suspiria dupla, calores. Victor amor centum pharetras exhausit in illos, Denique supra venit grossis Nox plena tenebris.
21
HUGBALDI MONACHI ECLOGA DE LAUD1BUS CALVITI1.
INCIPIT ECLOGA DOMINI HUGBALDI
MONACHI ELVONENSIS ORD. S. BENEDICTI
AD CAROLUM CALVUM IMPERATOREM.
Carolina convitii cerritus carpere calvos Conatus cecinit : celebrentur carmine calvi. Conspicuo clari : carmen cognoscite cuncti.
PROCEMIUM.
Quo Camcenae invitantur ad laudem calvorum.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Comere condigno conabor carmine calvos, Contra cirrosi crines confundere colli. Cantica concelebrent callentes clara Camcenae Collaudent calvos, collatrent crimine claros Carpere conantes calvos, crispante cachinno, Conscendat coeli calvorum caussa cacumen. Conticeant cuncti concrete crine comati. Cerrito calvos calventes carmine cunctos. Cosona conjunctim cantentur carmina calvis.
CAP. I.
Quod calvities in praesagio futurorum quibusque provenire videatur.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camcenae. Cum crescit capitis cervici calva corona, Consortem cleri consignat confore calvum. Captunim claram, Christo cedente, Coronam. Ceu crines capitis convellens crimina cordis
22 HUGBALDI ECLOGA
Corde creatorem conspectat, corpora Coelum Coelicolas cives cupiens contingere cultu. Crimina cum curis contemnat cuncta caducis Coeli conscensum, concentum coelicolarum, Concupiens cupide collaudat cuncta creantem.
CAP. II.
Calvos Cantores, Abbates, Doctores etiam et Episcopos esse atque Sacerdotes.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Conjubilant calvi claro clamore canori. Continuantque choros, castas cantare choreas Conformes capiti concordi, corpore cuncti. Complacitas cleri contendunt condere caulas. Correpto cornu ccelestia classica clangent, Conficiunt clarum Christ! cognomine chrisma, Consociant cuneo conspersos eliminate coetus. Concordes cautae celebrent convivia coenae, Consaturant Christi convivas carne, cruore.
CAP. III.
Quod calvi Reges sint et Imperatores, Consules quoque Legislatores et Judices.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoena?. Conregnant calvi; conscendunt culmina clari, Conspicui, comti, chrysea cervice corona. Clementes censu cedent consulta clientum. Cinnose cave condemnant crimina calvi. Censorem calvum censuram condere constat. Condacem calvum, cordatum crede cavendum. Calventum csecus caacari corpore credit. Calvicium calvi caecatus carpere cessa. Cessa cavalstrum cessa corrodere cessa.
DE LAUDIBUS CALVITH. 23
CAP. IV.
Quod calvi sint Duces exercitus ipsi etiam bellatores docti atque robusti.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Conducunt calvi cuneos certamine claros. Compugnant calvi cristati casside coni. Contorquent, crispant celeres cum caede catervas. Comprendunt cirros, contundunt calce comatos. Cuspide confodiunt : capulo concissa corusco Colla cadunt, celebrant calvi clamore celeusma. Commotus certare catus certamine calvus. Conculcat, csedit. Crinitos cedere cogit. Captives captat, captos cervice coartat.
CAP. V.
Laus Calvonim in Experientia artis Medicinae tarn Pharmaciae quam Chirurgiae-
Carmina clarisonse calvis cantate Camoenae. Comperies calvos columen conferre cerebro, Comperies calvos capitis curare catharros. Comperies calvas caecas curare cavernas. Chronica cum cancro ceditque cacexia catvo. Cardia cor carpens cassatur, colica cessat. Contrectans chalybem conscissa carne coercet. Corruptum capitis coct& cervice cruorem. Cur complura cano, clandestina cuncta caduci Corpore confutat, collapsaque corpora curat.
CAP. VI.
Invectio increpantis advcrsus cavillatorem calvos convitiantem.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Cum calvis cirrose cave certare creanti. Conviciumque creaturae condicere cessa. Condita cunctipotens caussarum cuncta creator
24 HUGBALDI ECLOGA
Constituit, curamque cavens conferre creatis Ccetum curavit clarum consurgere calvi. Concedit Culraen cui ceclere cuncta coegit. Cerritus cur collatrat clamore canino ? Condiderat calvum collapsa cucurbita caeno. Conticeat citius caenosa calumnia cujus.
CAP. VII.
Item adversus eundem et Laus calvorum de humilitate, caritate, et castitate.
Carmiaa clarisonae calvis cantate Camoense. Complex carnificum corium convellere calvo Cur censes ? cordis convellit crimina calvus. Cur censes capiti cineres conspergere calvos ? Cognoscit calvus cineri concrescere corpus. Cur censes calido carnes carbone cremari ? Corda cremant calvi Christi concocta calore. Cur censes castum castrari corpore calvum ? Cordetenus cunctis castratur concio culpis. Carmine carnificans calvum, compesce cavillum.
CAP. VIII.
Exprobratio carminis ejus et paradigma de Heliseo propheta et pueris illi insultantibus.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camcenae. Carminibus caveo Claris conjungere coeca. Calcentur caeno calcando culmina calce. Caenosus caenosa canens concludito cannam. Censetur certe censorum codice cautum Clarisonum calvum cui conscia consecutura, Commotum catulum circumlatrante cachinno. Clamantes, conscende citus, conscendito calve. Condemnasse cacos confestim crimine clarent. Convicii corrosa cadunt cum corpora carptim.
DE LAUDIBUS CALVIT1I. 25
CAP. IX.
De egregio calvo Paullo Apostolo cjuod a Christo vocatus caccatus sit raptus in tertium coelum.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camcenae. Carmina calvorum, cumulentur carmine Calvi, Conspicui, cujus crudelis cautio caedis Constiterat, Christi cultores carnificare. Conjubilent circumfulgente Charismata calvo, Caecato cuncti. Christi clamore citatus, Corruerat cito. ceu confossus cuspide, conto, Confestimque capit concensum culmine coeli Clarivido cernens conspectu cunctipotentem. Confore cor cujus claret coeleste catinum.
CAP. X.
Quod factus sit ex persecutors praedicator, et quodcomam nutrire, et turpem vetarit proferre sermonem.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Conglomerate chores, calvos cantate choreis. Censuram celebrem calvum comsisse colendum Comperimus, coeli consul consulta canendi Crimina confutat, caenosi cuncta coercet Colloquii, cunctis communia commoda censet. Confindit cirros, collegia civica condit Conciliando consponsorum Christicolarum Corda ciet capiti corpus conjungere certans. Cesset cerritus celebres contemnere calvos.
CAP. XI.
Alloquitur Camoenas Poeta de Cavillatore insinuans eum calvi Regis judicio csecatum.
Carmina clarisonse calvis cantate Camoense. Crudelem calvos casso conamine cunctos
26 HUGBALDI ECLOGA
Carpere conantem compescite crimine captum, Convicii commentantim commota caduci. Concito convictum claustris concludite ceecis. Calvaster censor caecari crimine captum Censet, caece canis cessa contemnere calvum. Conquinisce canis confingens crimina calvis, Conquinisce canis collatrans crimina calvos, Conquinisce canis cessans corradere calvos.
CAP. XII.
Epitoma laudis Calvorum a Corporis situ et pulcritudine, et quod calvus microcosmus sit.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae. Concilium clarum calvorum cogere coetum. Cum cernis calvum coeli comprendito cinctum, Calvicii culmen coeli cognoscite centrum. Circuitum Cosmi commendant caetera calvi. Calvos consocia. candentes congere calvos. Cynthia cessabit Chryseos conferre colores, Cornua contembrans cedit concrescere calvis. Collucent calvi, calvorum cassida candet. Conrutilans coeli ceu copia clara coruscat.
Clausula carminis.
Carmina clarisonae calvis cantate Camoenae, Conveniet claras claustris componere cannas, Completur claris carmen cantabile calvis.
Explicit Carmen Hugbaldi Monachi ad Carolum de Laude Calvorum.
DE LAUDIBUS CALVITII. 27
The following are additional verses by the same Poet.
Carmina clara cave calvos calvare Camoenae, Crispa cadat contra a Columnia cirro. Calvorum Charites cantatae carmine claro Couticeant cum clangenti concita canore Conciderint coeli cum Christi culmina cultu. Caesareae capides, cauti cata cista Catonis Concludant cleri captantia carmina culpas. Carmina calvorum comtrix conclude Camoena. Carole cum calvis, Caesar clarissime canta, Crucifere Christo clara conamina Cleri. Clausa Camcena capit cum Caesare congrua curam, Comta corona cave ; cum Caesare condita Calvo Caroleos comant celebrantia carmina calvos. Christe caput calvum cum comto contueare, Crux cujus cunctis condonant crimina calvis.
E 2
THE TESTAMENT
OF
MR. ANDRO KENNEDY.
From Ancient Scottish Poems from Bannatyne MS. Edinburgh, 1770.
I.
I Master Andro Kennedy, A-(matre) quando sum vocatus, Begotten with sum incuby, Or with sum freir infatuatus ; In faith I can nocht tell redely, Unde aut ubi fui natus, Bot in truth I trow trewly, Quod sum diabolus incarnatus.
ii.
Cum nihil sit certius morte,
We man all de' quhen .we haif done ;
Nescimus quando, vel qua sorte,
Nor blynd allane wait of the mone.
Ego patior in pectore,
Throw nicht I mycht nocht sleip a wink ;
Licet aeger in corpore,
Yet wald my mouth be watt with drink.
in.
Nunc condo testamentum meum, I leif my saule for evirmair, Per omnipotentem Deum, Into my lordis wyne-cellar ;
TESTAMENT OF KENNEDY. 29
Semper ibi ad remanendum
Till domesday cum without dissiver,
Bonum vinum ad bibendum
With sweit Cuthbert that lufit me nevir.
IV.
Ipse est dulcis ad amandum, He wuld oft ban me in his breth, Det mihi modo ad potandum, And I forgaif him laith and wreth. Quia in cellar cum cervisia, I had lever ly baith air and lait, Nudus solus in camisia, Than in my lordis bed of stait.
v.
Ane barrel being ay at my bosum,
Of warldly gude I bad na mair ;~
Et corpus meum ebriosum,
I leif unto the town of Air,
In ane draff midding for evir and ay,
Ut ibi sepeliri queam,
Quhair drink and draff may ilka day
Be castin super faciem meam.
VI.
I leif my hairt that nevir wes sicker,
Sed semper variabile,
That evermair wald flow and flicker,
Consorti meo Jacobo Wylie :
Thoch I wald bind it with a wicker,
Verum Deum renui ;
Bot and I hecht to turne a bicker,
Hoc pactum semper tenui.
VII.
Syne leif I the best aucht I bocht, Quod est Latinum propter cape, To the heid of my kin ; but waite I nocht, Quis est ille, than schro my skape.
30 THE TESTAMENT OF
I tald my Lord my held, but hiddill, Sed nulli alii hoc sciverunt, We wer als sib as seif and riddill, In und silv& quse creverunt.
VIII.
Quia mea solatia
They were bot lesingis all and ane,
Cum omni fraude et fallacia.
I leive the maister of Sanct Anthane,
William Gray, sine gratiii,
My ain deir cusine, as I wene ;
Qui nunquam fabricat mendacia.
But quhen the Holene tree growis grene.
IX.
My fenyeing, and my fals winning,
Relinquo falsis fratribus ;
For that is God's awin bidding,
Disparsit, dedit pauperibus.
For men's saulis they say and sing,
Mentientes pro muneribus ;
Now God give thaime ane evill ending,
Pro suis pravis operibus.
x.
To Jok the fule, my foly fre Lego post corpus sepultum ; In faith I am mair fule than he, Licet ostendo bonum vultum. Of corne and cattell, gold and fie, Ipse habet valde multum, And yit he bleiris my lordis ee, Fingendo eum fore stultum.
XI.
To Maister Johney Clerk syne, Do et lego intime God's braid malesone, and myne ; Nam ipse est causa mortis meae.
MR. ANDRO KENNEDY. 31
Wer I a doig and he a swyne, Multi mirantur super me, Bot I sould gar that lurdoun quhryne, Scribendo dentes sine D.
XII.
Residuum omnium bonorum
For to dispone my Lord sal haif,
Cum tutela puerorum,
Baith Adie, Kittie, and all the laif.
In faith I will na langer raif,
Pro sepulturd ordino
On the new gyse, sa God me saif
Non sicut more solito.
XIII.
In die meae sepultures,
I will have nane but our awin gang,
Et duos rusticos de rure
Berand ane barrell on a stang,
Drinkand and playand cap-out ; even
Sicut egomet solebam.
Singand and greitand with the stevin,
Potum meum cum fletu miscebam.
XIV.
I will no preistis for me sing,
Dies ille, dies irae ;
Nor yet na bellis for me ring,
Sicut semper solet fieri ;
But a bag-pyp to play a spring,
Et unum ale-wisp ante me ;
Insteid of torchis, for to bring
Quatuor lagenas cervisiae,
Within the graif to sett, fit thing,
In modum crucis, juxta me,
To fl6 the feyndis, than hardly sing
De terra plasmasti me.
WILLIAM DUNBAR.
IGNORAMUS.
ACTUS I. SCENA III.
ARGUMENTUM.
IGNORAMUS, clericis suis vocatis DULMAN & PECUS, amorem suum erga ROSABELLAM narrat, irridetque MUSEUM quasi hominem academicum.
Intrant IGNORAMUS, DULMAN, PECUS, Mus^us.
IGNO. Phi, phi: tanta pressa, tantum crou- dum, ut fui pene trusus ad mortem. Habebo actionem de intrusions contra omnes et singulos. Aha Mounsieurs, voulez voz intruder par joint tenant ? il est playne case, il est point droite de le bien seance. O valde caleor: O chaud, chaud, chaud : precor Deum non meltavi meum pingue. Phi, phi. In nomine Dei, ubi sunt clerici mei jam ? Dulman, Dulman.
DUL. Hie, Magister Ignoramus, vous avez Dulman.
IGNO. Meltor, Dulman, meltor. Rubba me cum towallio, rubba. Ubi est Pecus ?
PEC. Hie, Sir.
IGNO. Fac ventum, Pecus. Ita, sic, sic. Ubi est Fledwit ?
DUL. Non est inventus.
IGNO. Ponite nunc chlamydes vestras super me, ne capiam frigus. Sic, sic. Ainsi, bien faict. In- ter omnes prenas meas, valde Isetor, et gaudeo nunc, quod feci bonum aggreamentum inter Anglos nos-
IGNORAMUS. 33
tros : aggreamentum, quasi aggregatio mentium. Super inde eras hoysabimus vela, et retornabimus iterurn erga Londinum: tempus est, nam hue veni- mus Octabis Hillarii, et nunc fere est Quindena Pasche.
DUL. Juro, magister, titillasti punctum legis hodie.
IGNO. Ha, ha, he ! Puto titillabam, Si le nom del granteur, ou graute soit rased, ou interlined en faict pol, le i'aict est grandement suspicious.
DUL. Et nient obstant, si faict pol, &c. &c. Oh illud etiam in Covin.
IGNO Ha, ha, he !
PEC. At id, de un faict pendu en le smoak, nunquam audivi titillatum melius.
IGNO. Ha, ha, he ! Quid tu dicis, Mussee ?
Mus. Equidem ego parum intellexi.
IGNO. Tu es galiicrista, vocatus a coxcomb; nunquam faciam te Legistam.
DUL. Nunquam, nunquam ; nam ille fuit Uni- versitans.
IGNO. Sunt magni idiotae, et clerici nihilorum, isti Universitantes : miror quomodo spendisti tuum tempus inter eos.
Mus. Ut plurimum versatus sum in Logica.
IGNO. Logica? Quae villa, quod burgum est Logica ?
Mus. Est una artium liberalium.
IGNO. Liberalium ? Sic putabam. In nomine Dei, stude artes parcas et lucrosas : non est mun- dus pro artibus liberalibus jam.
Mus. Deditus etiam fui amori Philosophise.
IGNO. Amori ? Quid ! Es pro bagaschiis et strumpetis ? Si custodis malam regulam, non es pro me, sursum reddam te in maims parentum iterum.
Mus. Dii faxint.
34 IGNORAMUS.
IGNO. Quota est clocka mine ?
DUL. Est inter octo et nina.
IGNO. Inter octo et nina ? Ite igitur ad man- sorium nostrum cum baggis et rotulis. Quid id est ? videam hoc instrumentum ; mane petit, dum calceo spectacula super nasum. O ho, ho, scio jam. Haec indentura, facta, &c. inter Rogerum Ratledoke de Caxton in comitatu Brecknocke, &c. O ho, Richard Fen, John Den. O ho, Proud Buz- zard plaintiff, adversus Peakegoose, defendant. O ho, vide hie est defalta literse ; emenda, emenda ; nam in nostra lege una comma evertit totum Pla- citum. Ite jam, copiato tu hoc, tu hoc ingrossa, tu Universitans trussato sumptoriam pro jornea.
[Exeunt Clerici. IGNORAMUS solus.
Hi, ho! Rosabella, hi, ho! Ego nunc eo ad Veneris curiam letam, tentam hie apud Torcol : Vicecomes ejus Cupido nunquam cessavit, donee invenit me in baliva su : Primum cum amabam Rosabella mnisi parvum, misit parvum Cape, turn magnum Cape, et post, alias Capias et pluries Capias, & Capias infinitas ; & sic misit tot Capias, ut tandem capavit me utlegatum ex omni sensu et ratione mesL Ita sum sicut musca sine caput ; buzzo & turno circumcirca, et nescio quid facio. Cum scribo instrumentum, si femina nominatur, scribo Rosabellam : pro Corpiis cum caus, corpus cum caud& ; pro Noverint universi, Amaverint uni- versi ; pro habere ad rectum, habere ad lectum ; et sic vasto totum instrumentum. Hei, ho! ho, hei, ho !
35
VIRI HUMANI, SALSI ET FACETI,
GULIELMI SUTHERLANDI,
MULTARUM ARTIUM ET SCIENTIARUM DOCTORIS DOCTISSIMI,
DIPLOMA. 1
UBIQUE gentium et terrarum, From Sutherland to Padanarum, From those who have six months of day, Ad Caput usque Bonsc Spei, And farther yet, si forte tendat, Ne ignorantiam quis prsetendat, We Doctors of the Merry Meeting, To all and sundry do send greeting, Ut omnes habeant compertum, Per hanc praesentem nostram chartam, Gulielmum Sutherlandum Scotum, At home per nomen Bogsie notum, Who studied stoutly at our College, And gave good specimens of knowledge, In multis artibus versatum, Nunc factum esse doctoratum. Quoth Preses, Strictum post examen, Nunc esto Doctor; we said, Amen. So to you all hunc commendamus, Ut juvenem quern nos amamus,
1 This Diploma was written by William Meston, A.M. who was Professor of Philosophy in the Marischal College, Aberdeen, about the beginning of the last century. It has been published in different editions of his poetical works, which are now, how- ever, very rarely to be met with in the shops of the booksellers, and, to use their language, are at present out of print.
36 GULIELMI SUTHERLAND!
Qui multas habet qualitates,
To please all humours and aetates.
He vies, if sober, with Duns Scotus,
Sed multo magis si sit potus.
In disputando just as keen as
Calvin, John Knox, or Tom Aquinas.
In every question of theology,
Versatus multum in trickology ;
Et in catalogis librorum
Frazer could never stand before him ;
For he, by page and leaf, can quote
More books than Solomon ere wrote.
A lover of the Mathematicks
He is, but hates the hydrostatics,
Because he thinks it a cold study,
To deal in water clear or muddy.
Doctissimus est medicinae,
Almost as Boerhaave or Bellini.
He thinks the diet of Cornaro,
In meat and drink too scrimp and narrow,
And that the rules of Leonard Lessius,
Are good for nothing but to stress us.
By solid arguments and keen
He has confuted Doctor Cheyne,
And clearly prov'd by demonstration,
That claret is a good collation,
Sanis et aegris, always better
Than coffee, tea, or milk and water ;
That cheerful company, cum risu,
Cum vino forti, suavi visu,
Gustatu dulci, still has been
A cure for hyppo and the spleen ;
That hen and capon, vervecina,
Beef, duck and pasties, cum ferina,
Are good stomachics, and the best
Of cordials, probatum est.
He knows the symptoms of the phthisis,
Et per salivam sees diseases,
DIPLOMA. 37
And can discover in uriim.
Quando sit opus medicina.
A good French nightcap still has been,
He says, a proper anodyne,
Better than laudanum or poppy,
Ut dormiamus like a toppy.
Affirmat lusum alearum,
Medicamentum esse clarum,
Or else a touch at three-hand ombre
When toil or care our spirits cumber,
Which graft wings on our hours of leisure,
And make them fly with ease and pleasure.
Aucupium et venationem.
Post longam nimis potationem,
He has discover'd to be good
Both for the stomach and the blood,
As frequent exercise and travel
Are good against the gout and gravel.
He clearly proves the cause of death
Is nothing but the want of breath,
And that indeed is a disaster,
When 'tis occasioned by a plaster
Of hemp and pitch, laid closely on
Somewhat above the collar bone.
Well does he know the proper doses
Which will prevent the fall of noses,
E'en keep them qui privantur illis,
.#2gre utuntur conspicillis.
To this, and ten times more, his skill
Extends when he could cure or kill.
Immensam cognitionem legum
Ne prorsus hie silentio tegam,
Cum sociis artis, grease his fist
Torquebat illas as you list.
If laws for bribes are made, 'tis plain,
They may be bought and sold again ;
Spectando aurum, now we find
That Madam Justice is stone blind,
38 GULIELMI SUTHERLANDI
So deaf and dull in both her ears, The clink of gold she only hears ; Nought else but a loud party shout Will make her start or look about. His other talents to rehearse, Brevissime in prose or verse, To tell how gracefully he dances, And artfully contrives romances ; How well he arches, and shoots flying, (Let no man think that we mean lying), How well he fences, rides and sings, And does ten thousand other things ; Allow a line, nay, but a comma, To each, turgeret hoc diploma; Quare ; ut tandem concludamus, Qui brevitatem approbamus, (For brevity is always good, Providing we be understood). In rerum omnium naturis, Non minus quam scientia juris Et medicinae, Doctoratum Bogsaeum novimus versatum ; Nor shall we here say more about him, But you may dacker if you doubt him. Addamus tamen hoc tantiilum, Duntaxat nostrum hoc sigillum, Huic testimonio appensum, Ad confirmandum ejus sensum, Junctis chirographis cunctorum, Blyth, honest, hearty sociorum. Dabamus at a large punch-bowl, Within our proper common school, The twenty-sixth day of November, Ten years, the date we may remember, After the race of Sheritfmuir, (Scotsmen will count from a black hour). Ab omni probo nunc signetur, Qui denegabit extrudetur.
DIPLOMA. 39
FORMULA GRADUS DANDI.
EADEM nos auctoritate,
Reges memorise beatge,
Pontifices et papse laeti,
Nam alii sunt k nobis spreti,
Quam quondam nobis indulserunt,
Quae privilegia semper erunt,
Collegio nostro safe and sound,
As long 's the earth and cups go round.
Te Bogsaeum hie creamus,
Statuimus et proclamamus,
Artium Magistrum et Doctorem,
Si libet etiam Professorem ;
Tibique damus potestatem
Potandi ad hilaritatem,
Ludendi porro et jocandi,
Et mcestos vino medicandi,
Ad risum etiam fabulandi ;
In promissionis tuse signum
Caput, honore tanto dignum
Hoc cyatho condecoramus, 1
Ut tibi felix sit oramus ;
Preeterea in manum damus
Hunc calicem, ex quo potamus,
Spumantem generoso vino,
Ut bibas more Palatino.
Sir, pull it off and on your thumb
Cernamus supernaculum,
Ut specimen ingenii
Post studia decennii.
1 Here he was crowned with the punch-bowl.
40 GUL. SUTHERLANDl DIPLOMA.
(While he is drinking, the chorus sings) En calicem spumantem, Falerni epotantem ; En calicem spumantem, To, io, io.
(After he has drunk, and turned the glass on his thumb, they embrace him, and sing again.) Laudamus hunc Doctorem, Et fidum compotorem ; Laudamus hunc Doctorem, Io, io, io.
41
ODE PINDARICO-SAPPHICO-MACARONICA,
IN CELEBERRIMI ET IMMACULATI VIRI
GULIELMI PITTII,
CjETERORUMQUE GEORGII TERTII MAGNjE BRITANNIA
FRANCIS, ET HIBERNIjE, NEC NON CORSICA REGIS,
DIGNISSIMORUM MIN1STRORUM
LAUDEM.
AUCTORE JODOCO COCAIO, MERLINr COCAII PRONEPOTE.
EMMA ! fer chartam, calamos, et inkum ; Musa Merlini Cocaii, befriend me : Per Deos volo lepidum ac sonorum Condere carmen.
Volo Thebarum eximii Poetae Grande, divinum, simulare songum ; Lesbiae volo numeros puellae Jungere suaves.
Quern virum sumes, cithara Judaea Fistula aut Scota celebrare diva Sportica ! ac qualem capiti coronam Nectere vis tu ?
Aqua, without doubt very gooda thinga est, Aurum et, inter divitias superbas Glisterans, fulget velut ignis ardens Nocte serenav
42 ODE IN GUL. PITTII
Sed, my dear heart, (si libeat ministros Dicere,) ut nullum magis est coruscum Sole sydus, cum vacuum per aether Solus he shines forth :
Sic, cave credas alium micare Regies inter celebres alumnos, Billio nostro celebratiorem, Orbe globoso.
Quid prius dicam ? Pueri piidici Castitatem num ? nive puriorem ? Vah, Venus ! non tarn glacialis Hecla Friget ut ille.
Quodque plus rarum abstinuisse nunquam Pabulis lautis poculisve plenis Fertur ; et Baccho Cererique vota Daily resolvit.
An canam miram memoremque mentem Nulla quae forgets, meminisse quorum Interest; quorum juvat oblivisci Nulla remembrat !
Larga verborum potius canenda Flumina ; istudque eloquium bewitchans, Quo sacrosancti patulas senatus Fascinat aures !
Cerne tercentos homines hiantes Hujus ad nutum subito moveri Hue et illuc, just veluti puparum Agmina muta !
Ille with ease can facere alba uigra ; Rendere et lucem piceas tenebras Ille can ; rursum piceas tenebras Rendere lucem !
C-ffiTERORUMQUE MINISTRORUM LAUDEM. 43
Qui queam magnam Juvenis sagacis Bella plannandi celebrare skillem ? Totius terras tremuere gentes Nomine Pitti !
Ille Russorum intrepidam tyrannam Unico blasto tremefecit oris ! Unico gestu timidos Iberos Terruit omnes !
Ille Gallorum impavidas catervas Certius certo Zabulo dedisset, Si bonas plannas bonus Imperator Execut&sset.
Interim tremblate, homines scelesti ! Bella qui sacris geritis monarches ! Quis potest Pitti simul et Deorum Ferre furorem ?
Billius, quam sit homo bellicosus Vidimus ; jam nunc videamus, also, Quomodo fiscum managet Britannum, Tempore pacis ?
Ille sed praestat, puto, temperare Laudibus : novit populus Britannus Quam leves taxas, tenue et tributum Pendimus heigh, hoh !
Jurium nee est magis imperitus : Criminum obscuras, minimas et umbras Rite discernit : melius vel ipse Non potuit Coke.
Ille sa^vorum insidias retexit Civium Regi exitium minantum ! Ille traytores draguit latentes ,
Auram in apertam ! F 2
44 ODE IN GUL. PITTII
llle, too, puff-plot, oculis acutis, Primus et unus valuit videre : Ah ! Georgi ! quam vigilem ministrum Sors tibi donat !
Non, tamen, laudes aliis negandae Optimi Regis meritae ministris : Stella plus Stella rutilat, sed omuis Stella refulget.
Billio next is Boreale Sydus ; Scotiae lumen, bonus Henericus ; Roseus, post hunc, B^a^vTroi/c Bootes, Scotus et ipse.
Proximus illi sapiens et audax Dux ducum, Regis moderans tonitru : Impio a Gallo nihil est timendum, Sospite Richmond.
Subeunt, Regis moderans carinas Pervigil Chatham, moderansque mentem Regiam, Scotus, senior Sophistes, Nomine notus.
Hicce, 'tis true, was inimicus ardens Pittio et Pitti sociis, at one time ; Forsitan ardens iterum futurus Pitti inimicus.
Transeat : magnam video cohortem Bravium heroum Jacobina castra Linquere, et nostris ducibus libenter Dedere dextras.
Ecce ! Portlandus, furiosus olim Whiggus, Whiggorum caput ac verendum, Billii blandis precibus Toraeus Flammeus est nunc !
CJETERORUMQUE MINISTRORUM LAUDEM. 45
Ecce ! Mansfeldus, patiens laboris, Syllabas longas phraseasque grandes Viribus magnis, validaque dextrfi Torquet in hostem !
Ecce ! Windhamus, Primus baud pridem populi patronus, Sponte conversus, populi querelas Cares not a fig for !
Caeteram turbam loyalem, atq; amantem Regis, et Regis Pueri ministri, Non opus multis celebrare verbis ; Nam numeri sunt.
Musa Merlini, satis est : sileto ! Emma, chartam, inkum, calamos repone; Fer, puer, vinum cyathumque magnum : Volo potare.
(From the Morning Chronicle.)
46
EPISTOLA MACARONICA AD FRATREM :
DE IIS QU& GESTA SUNT
IN NUPERO DISSENTIENTIUM CONVENTU, LONDINI HABITO, PRID. ID. FEBR. 1790.
REM magnam poscis, Frater carissime, cum vis Me tibi quod said was, quod done was, quodque
resolved was
Nostro in conventu generali, cunque referre. Attamen I try will ; modo Macaronica Musa Faverit, et smoothes donarit condere versus.
Est locus in London (Londini dicta Taberua) Insignia Celebris ; cives quo ssepe solemus Eatare, et drinkare et disceptare aliquando ! Hie, una in Halla magnaque altaque, treceni Meetavere viri, ex diversis nomine sectis : Hi quibus et cordi est audacis dogma Socini, Hi quibus arrident potius dictamina Arii ; Hi, qui Calvini mysteria sacra tuentur ; Hi quibus affixum est a bibaptismate nomen : All in a word qui se oppresses most heavily credunt Legibus injustis, test-oathibus atque profania ! While high-church homines in pomp et luxury
vivunt, Et placeas, postas, mercedes, munia, graspant.
Hi cuncti keen were ; t'ari aut pugnare parati Prised pro causa. Bravus Beaufoius heros Adfuit, et Sawbridge austerus, et ater Adairi Vultus, Bourgoigni et frons pallida. Proximus illi Watson grandiloquus ; post hunc argutus leffries Perdignus Chairman et post hunc Foxius ipse ; Foxius, eloquii nostro Demosthenis aevo Unicus adsertor ; et libertatis amator
EPISTOLA AD FRATREM. 47
Unicus ; et nondum venalis! Plaudite, Gives ! Plaudite magnanimum concivem ; plaudite verum Humani juris ultorem ; et ducite plausus Ter ternos, donee reboabunt voce columnse.
Nee taceam Milford, Hayward ; Brandhollis et
ilium Cui Saxum est nomen, 1 sed cui non saxeus est
heart,
Aut placidum Thornton, aut asperitate carentem Shore, aut solertem populum suspendere naso Toulmin, aut praedictum in sacro codice Payneum ! 2
Quid referam Cleri clarissima nomina ? Reesum, Lindsaeum, Kippis, conspicillisque Toerum Insignem, et (woe 's me !) violenta sorte coactum Belshamum ; 3 niveo candentem pectore Disney ; Et Price, humani generis totius amicum.
Non aderas, Priestley ! potior te cura'tenebat Rure, ubi, magna inter centum miracula rerum, Horslsei caput in rutilantia fulmina forgis; Sulphuris et satagis subtilia grana parare, Church quibus, et church-men in coelum upblowere possis ; 4
Sedimus ad ternas tabulas longo ordine postas, Et mappis mundi coveratas, et china-plattis, Spoonibus, et knivis sharpis, furcisque trisulcis Stratas ; cum largis glassis, vinoque repletis Bottellis, saltis, vinegarique cruetis.
Tandem Caupo ipsus, magna comitante caterva Servorum, intravit laetus, recteque catinos Deposuit lautos et magni ponderis. Inde Surrexit Mystes, palmisque oculisque levatis
1 Mr. Stone of London Field.
a This alludes to a gentleman's having, by way of joke, found in the name of John Augustus Payne, the Apocalyptical number of Antichrist, 666.
- Mr. Belsham is a strong necessarian,
4 See his Letter to Mr. Pitt.
48 DE IIS QUM GESTA SUNT
Ad coelos, numen votis precibusque rogavit Ut nobis nostrisque epulis benedicere vellet. Extemplo coveris sublatis, atque retectis Viandis calidis, omnes apprendimus arma ; Impetu et unanimi prostrata in fercula fertur.
Quam vehemens onset, strages quamque exitiales, O Musa, edidimus ! tu dicere sola valebis. Die, first, quas acies e contra instruxerit hostis.
Bos ingens, pinguis, torvus ; qui fronte minaci Cocknaeos olim timidos frightaverat omnes : Nunc butcherorum manibus, flammaque subactus, Nulli est terribilis ; facilem prsebetque triumphum Imbelli cuivis sartori, shoemakerove ! Hunc simul aggressi sex fortes Cheapsideani (Talibus adsueti pugnis) in frustula slashant.
Huic bini vituli subjuncti ; nulla dedere Valoris signa aut mugitus crtyolpd tremendos ; Hos igitur subigunt prentice-boys atque scholares.
Tres turn lanigeri, lana at jam turn spoliati. Apparent ; adeo sed tame, ancillula ut illos, (Illorum " BA, BA," non territa) caedere posset; Et caedi a quovis sese sunt sillily passi !
Hos porci totidem (hammati plerumque) se-
quuntur ;
Cum sex porcellis, heu nuper ab ubere rnatrum Cruelly subtractis, et sseva in praelia missis. Illorum visu, subito et simul, impetus ingens Factus ; et in parvo momento temporis, omnes Porci et porcelli lacerati iravv jacebant.
Sex pavidi lepores ; pavidi sex postea coneys Segniter accedunt, humiles et pignora pacis Poscere suppliciter vultu gestuque videntur. In vain ! nam nullam veniam dabit angrius hostis, Sic coneys leporesque unam subiere ruin am.
Hactenus agminibus solis cum quadrupedatis Certatum nunc jam memora quibus aspera pugua Birdis cum ae'riis orta est, n'shisque marinis.
IN NUPERO DISSENTIENTIUM CONVENTU. 49
Amnicola imprimis grandaevus prodiit anser (Anser centenum qui jam reachaverat annum) Ut Nestor sapiens; yet still animosus ut Ajax! Hunc tamen aggreditur certus great, great city- grocer
Solus, et in quatuor (multo sudore fluente) Desecuit partes ! populorum non sine plausu.
Anseri in auxilium duckorum pair veniunt sex Plumporum fattorum, in prima flore juventae ; Sed quibus aeque animi defecit corporis et vis. Twelve illos manly juvenes straightway jugularunt.
Tres turcse, quondam thrasones atque tyranni Cortis, et ora etiam gestantes plena minamur, Procedunt (magicis guardatis breastibus herbis) Et, shame ! shame ! nostris audent defy dare
trooppis.
Cujusvis nostrum subita tumuit jecur ira ; Utpote qui infidam teneamur perdere gentem. Arreptas, igitur, Irevis jam sanguine tinctas Plungimus illorum scelerata in pectora furcas; Dum simul invictis dextris fulgentia ferra Stringimus, et tremulos magna vi caedimus hostes. Non ipse Austriacas acies qui nuper ad arcem Instruxit Belgrade, Laudhonius, eximiorem Obtinuit palmam, vel plus memoranda trophaea ; Quam nos in clade hac memoranda turciniana !
Gallini generis struttantis maxima venit Tunna ; ast Gallini generis quid turma valeret Maxima pugnantis cum bold, bravisque Britannis ? Non citius quondam De-Grassi maxima flotta, Gallorum boasta, Anglorum virtute subacta est ; Quam nos Gallinam hanc gentem subjecimus omnem !
Perdices, merulas, turdos, larkosque canoros Quid memorem, Cleri manibus plerumque subactos ?
50 DE IIS QUjE GESTA SUNT
Turn cum pinniferis pugnandum erat ordine fishis: Sed haec non fuit aut perlonga aut aspera pugna. Nam licet, one coddus fauces monstraret hiantes Et qui coeruleis valde metuendus in undis Haud dubium fuerat ; sed nunc ex aequore tractus Nolens, et sicco jussus confligere campo, Tarn fessus, fragilis, fractus seemabat et excors, Ilium ut non infans vel lactens jam timuisset. Nullo adeo nisu bankeri clerkius ilium, Ferro non duro sed silverspoone subegit !
Turbam aliam ignaviam fishorum et fishiculorum ; Squatinas, rhombos, haddocos et mackarellos. Whitingos, carpos, et parvo corpore smeltos, Et sprattos minimos opus baud est commemorare, Parva illi laus est, tales qui fuderit hostes.
Lobsterus tantum, loricae tegmine fretus, Obstitit, et renuit nullo certamine vinci. Tune ego belligero Mavorti hoc voveo votum : 'A^off, Apes I BpoTO\oiye, fj,iat(j>ov, Tsi^EfftirXrjTa !
51 mihi lobsteri thoracem findere dones
Et duras braccas fragmenta, ut spolia opima, Hisce tuis aris manibus suspensa videbis !' Hoc voto emisso, et prsesenti numine factus Couragior, fistum clinchatum et napkine tectum Erexi ; et, quatuor repetitis ictibus, hostem Smashavi ! nihil huic durissima tegmina prosunt. Sic pugna est finita, et sic victoria parta est.
Sed qui quod sequitur, nefandum, dicere possim ? Nam non contenti lautis, quas praeda relata Exhibuit plenty in, dapibus ; pane atque potatis, Caulibus, et raphanis, lactucis brocoliisque, Cum pomis, piris, orangibus atque racemis : Ipsos, indignum ! victos voravimus hostes ! Esuries tantum potuit suadere malorum !
Placatis stomachis latrantibus, atque feroci Ingluvie expleta ; properamus ad lepa Bacchi Rite absolvenda, et burnantem extinguere thirstum.
IN NUPERO DISSENT1ENTIUM CONVENTU. 51
Tarn justa moti causa, simul et reputantes Quse madness fuerit perituris parcere caskis ; Arripimus glassas, largos et ducimus haustus Lenaei laticis Primumque ex vite Madeirae Foecunda, forti, generosa, pocula biaa Regis et in regis Sponsae sorbemus honorem. Tertia Cambrorum summa cum laude, litatur Principis eximii genio festive et amico : Principis, Anglorum decoris ; quo sospite, nunquam Res nostras lostas, eversaque jura putabo.
Turn, turn, sherraeum genuinum poscimus ; atque Grandibus ad brimmum bumperis usque repletis, Surgimus ; et magno praecone sonante boatu ' Foxius !' extemplo pateras haurimus ad imum, Et novies ' Hurra !' simul omnes vociferamus.
Beaufoio, et reliquis conscriptis patribus, anno Elapso nostram qui jam tuiti fuerant rem, Glassa epotata larga, omnia fausta precamur.
' Foecundi calices quern nou fecere disertum ?' Vere olim dixit, quisquis fuit ille, poeta. Jam cupimus cuncti sua quae sit copia fandi Monstrare, et quae vis ardentia cudere dicta.
Thick-shortus sed homo (cui nomen, credo, Be-
vellus)
Upstartans medio, super et subsellia scandens, Omnis conventus oculos atque ora trahebat. Breech-pocket one hand fills ; tortam tenet altera
chartam ;
Chartam morosis plenam sharpisque resolvis. Turn pandit big-mouthum atque, O ! quae grandia
verba
Protulit hie nosier Cicero! Mea Musa negaret Vel decimam illorum, quae dixit, dicere partem.
Sed tamen, ut crebro vel facundissima verba, Si fuerint nimia atque ad rem paulum adsimulata, Dislikam generant sic tune genuere. Repente
52 DE US QUJE GESTA SUNT
Auditur strepitus discors ; dum, voce sonor, Pars una ' Hear, hear him !' ' Move ! move !' pars
altera clamat : ' Move ! move ! ' praevaluit tamen, et, though
greatly reluctans,
Orator vehemens fit lector frigidus atque Undenas promit tarde torveque RESOLVAS.
Protinus, ut mos est, motum vox una secundat, Laudibus et tollit miris. Iratus Adairus Surgit ; et, aptato periwig, grandi ore profatur : ' Quis furor, o Gives ! quae vos dementia cepit ; Ut tarn pacificas epulas turbare velitis ? Non, vanis verbis pretiosum spendere tempus Adsumus Eja ergo, ventosum wagere bellum Cessemus ; sedem et propriam jam quisque re-
sumat :
Et, curis vacui, media de nocte bibamus ! Impransi, melius res magnas discutiemus.'
Subsequitur plausus magnus sed non generalis : Nam quidam expressly venere, ut speechificarent. Hos inter juvenis fervens Mancastrius unus, Nomine Cooperus, tales dedit ore loquelas. ' Shall homines, Chairman ! hiberno tempore longum Carpere iter, longam atque insomnes ducere noctem ; Et nil say, nil do ? Proh ! Jupiter ; haud ita ; no,
no ! Ergo egomet, mecum et plus centum millia more,
Sir!
Dicimus omnimodo passandas esse RESOLVAS. Non adeo multum, Chairman, potavimus usque Ut non possimus de magnis thinkere rebus. Ergo iterum dico, passandas esse RESOLVAS ! Dico passandas, passandas esse RESOLVAS !' His olli verbis, ridens, respondet Adairus : 4 Pitya magna quidem est-, insomnem tot parasangas Mensurasse vise ; rixis implere molestis Aulam hanc ; turbare et tarn convivalia festa !
IN NUPERO DISSENTIENTIUM CONVENTU. 53
Profecto satius multo remanere fuisset At home cum friendis, uxoribus, atque puellis ; Quam tales medio in conventu emittere voces. Concordes quoniam convenimus, rupta querelis Nullis sit quaeso concordia. Cumque parati Non simus, decet ut, tot dicussare RESOLVAS : Vah, curas vanas ! ad pocula, friends, redeamus ? Pluribus haec placuit sententia ; jamque sinistris Emptaeas glassas manibus graspamus, ut illas Fragranti ex testa impleremus Burdigalensi ; Cum Doctor, perverso agitatus daemone, Fellus Omnia spoilavit nam bencha stans super alta, Verba quidem sour sour, satis at facunda profatur. ' Sergeanti docto nolo concedere, Chairman ! Nos non prepared are omnes discussere pointas Propositas Quare nam ! Anne illas primum ho-
diedum
Versamus inente in ? Quartus jam volvitur annus, Ex quo iterum atque iterum, plerique revolvimus
omnes
Illarum nexus et nodos. Nee mihi quisquam Hoc neget. At, forsan, dicat quis ! Esto, quid
inde ?
Idcircone juvat lites motare feroces Festa inter, saevasque animis concordibus iras Fundere? Responsum hoc habeat. Discordia si
quse
Exoriatur parva; hinc non, mihi crede, timendum Evillum minimum ; sed erit certamen amicum Friends inter tantum Num non, num non, sum us
omnes Dissenters ? Num non, num non causa omnibus
una est ?
Ergo meum votum est, passandas esse RESOLVAS. ' Brave !' turba exclamat vecors Prudentior
autem Pars shakare caput visa est, et wryere mouth um.
54 DE IIS QUA; GESTA SUNT
Interea Watson sese (Saulus velut alter
In medio populi) raisans, ora et rubicunda
Ostendens ; haec est festiva voce locutus :
' Quid refert omnes Dissenters esse, et eandem
Causam agere, inter vos si tantum dissidium sit ?
Hie : Move ! move ! Ille : Hear ! hear ! Vote ! vote !
intonat alter, Dum vere moderati homines know not what to
think on 't ; Much less what to say to't. For shame ! cessemus,
amici,
Deprecor, altisonis consumere tempora verbis. Dico Committo referendas esse RESOLVAS In toto Mihi sit permissum hoc edere votum ?' ' Cunctorum est votum :' we cry as loud as we
can cry ;
Loud sed as our cry was, non terruit ille Toe'rum : Qui, indignum ratus conf'ectum perdere speechum, Upstitit, et tabulam mountans super, haud sine
nisu,
Strokavit ventrem, verba et ructare paravit, Et quamquam quater interruptus vocibus altis Clamantum ; 'Move! move?' tandem patulas
tamen aures
Obtinuit ; satis et provectam fecit haranguam : Sed qualem ignoro. Nam sum surdusculus ; atque Musa then exierat coelestem sippere thaeam, And do res alias parvas ; tandemque reversa est, Rhetoris ut labiis exibant ultima verba. Sed tamen, if sit fas externis conjecturam Ducere de signis ; certo supponere fas est, Speechum hoc bitterum, potius quam suave, fuisse. Pauci adeo plausus. Multo pejora sed illi, Fari qui post hunc tentavit, fata fuere ; Nomine (pshaw ! pshaw ! pshaw !) Hubb, Hubb et
syllaba longa.*
- Forte Hubb-house.
IN NUPERO DISSENTIENTIUM CONVENTU. 55
Ter conatus erat facunda aperire labella,
Ter labra occludit loud vociferatio : ' Down, down !'
Turn surgit Chairman ; et : ' Num placet, O !
generosi Watsonis votum ? ' Plerique upliftimus handas !
Sic cessant rixae. Sed non jam yet bonus humor Redditus : multi nam torvos ostendere vultus, Bitare et lippas, longum et deducere murmur -Continuant; tantae et nebulae jam nunc oriuntur Ut nova seemaret subito ventura procella, Cum (Deus ut volucer crelo delapsus ab alto) Foxius apparet ; nimbos et dissipat omnes Flexanimis verbis, blandae et dulcedine vocis.
Non, mihi tercentum linguas si fata dedissent, Et calamum puro manantem nectare non turn Dicere sperarem vel scribere pr^para posse, Illius ex lippis quae mellea cunque fluebant. Sit satis efiari, non ptjfiara vana fuisse.
Nam velut Aprili medio si quando serenum Turbarit coalum Boreas, densisque nigrarit Nubibus ; attonita et metuit Natura ruinam Grandineo ex nimbo subito Sol imperat Euro Alipedes ut jungat equos, seseque sequatur ! Ipse sedens curru, radiorum spicula spargit Purpurea : actutum et toto densissima crelo Nubila depellit Sic tune difFusa per aulam A urea vox Foxi saevas compescuit iras, Et laetos hilaresque ad pocula cara remisit.
Pocula surripimus. Sed vae! vae! nulla manebant Ticketa ;* nam Disney (Deuce take him!) omnia
lost had !
Clubandum sic est rursum, si vina velimus. Omnibus at notum est, qua paupertate Poe'ta
- It is usual to give tickets to the guests, on entering, which
tickets entitle them to call, after dinner, for their value in wine.
56 DISSENTIENTIUM CONVENTUS.
Sit pressus : cum, ergo, scirem me vix dare posse Unum obolum ; tacitus surgo, furtimque galero Et baculo arreptis (nonam strikantibus horam Jam clockis, ferme et shutatis undique shoppis) Dilectos repeto contenta mente penates, Haec tibi scripturus, carissime Vive valeque !
THE END.
See also
