Who's on First
From The Art and Popular Culture Encyclopedia
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Who's on First? is a vaudeville comedy routine made most famous by Abbott and Costello. In Abbott and Costello's version, the premise of the routine is that Abbott is identifying the players on a baseball team to Costello, but their names and nicknames can be interpreted as non-responsive answers to Costello's questions. In this context, the first baseman is named "Who"; thus, the utterance "Who's on first" is ambiguous between the question ("which person is the first baseman?") and the answer ("The name of the first baseman is 'Who'").
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Sketch
The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:
- First Base: Who
- Second Base: What
- Third Base: I Don't Know
- Left field: Why
- Center field: Because
- Pitcher: Tomorrow
- Catcher: Today
- Shortstop: I Don't Care/I Don't Give a Darn/I Don't Give a Damn
The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is never identified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody".
At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman:
Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.
Costello: Then who gets it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: Well, that's it—say it that way.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You did not.
Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routine when he finally appears to catch on. "You got a couple of days on your team?" He never quite figures out that the first baseman's name literally is "Who". But after all this he announces, "I don't give a darn!" ("Oh, that's our shortstop.") That is the most commonly heard ending, which varied depending on the perceived sensibilities of the audience. The even milder "I Don't Care" was used in the version seen in the film The Naughty Nineties. A recording of the obvious "I Don't Give a Damn" has also turned up on occasion.
The skit serves as a climax for an Abbott and Costello radio broadcast which begins with Costello receiving a telegram from Joe DiMaggio asking Costello to take over for him.
Writing credit
Numerous people over the years have claimed credit for writing the sketch, but such claims typically lack reasonable corroboration.
For example, in a 1993 obituary of writer Michael Musto, it stated that shortly after Abbott and Costello teamed up, they paid Musto $15 to write the script.
Furthermore, in the 1996 obituary of songwriter Irving Gordon, a claim was made that he had written the sketch.
Real-life parallels
- During the 2007 season, the Los Angeles Dodgers added an infielder named Chin-Lung Hu. After Hu singled in his third at bat in a game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on September 23, Dodgers announcer Vin Scully remarked "Hu's on first."
- In 1920, Allie Watt played one game at second base for the Washington Senators.
See also
