Heaven is where the police are British  

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This joke supposedly is from record tycoon Ahmet Ertegun of Atlantic Records, first attested in a 1982 Google Books record[1]:

What’s heaven? Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the organizers are Swiss.
So then, what’s hell? Hell is where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.

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